A Cub Just Wants to Snag a Big Shot on a "X-Change" Variety Show! - Chapter 1

“Fullness leads to loss; a small harvest leads to peace.”

This was the poetic explanation Shen Xiaoman’s scholarly father gave when naming him. Unfortunately, Xiaoman lived his life like a half-filled bottle of water—loud, shaky, and confused. In the end, he lived a muddled existence that concluded abruptly under the wheels of a truck, ground into a blur of flesh and blood.

In the moment of his violent death, Xiaoman felt like a zongzi being untied; he suddenly felt lighter. The shackles that had forcibly constrained him vanished.

As his soul unfurled, drifting aimlessly yet freely, he experienced a moment of sudden enlightenment regarding the truth of the world.

It turned out he was living inside a book themed around a child variety show… and every word and action of his had been strictly controlled by the plot. He was the “cannon fodder foil” to the protagonist.

In the book, his daily routine consisted of being a domineering brat who bullied other children—especially the story’s future powerhouse male lead.

Later, as the villain, he naturally suffered the most brutal karma.

He endured over twenty years of cyberbullying, was expelled from school, had dog blood thrown on him, was “doxxed,” and had his identity stolen to take out high-interest loans. He didn’t dare go outside; he didn’t dare work.

His father, working at a construction site, was beaten to death while demanding unpaid wages; the case wasn’t even filed before it was dismissed.

His mother, overworked, developed a brain tumor. With no money for treatment, she died at home.

His brother was framed and sentenced to life in prison, only to die a few years later under mysterious circumstances. Xiaoman never even saw his brother’s body; his brother’s face had become a blur in his memory…

Actually, being hit by a car made Xiaoman quite happy.

He was fed up with this idiocy of a life. Every day spent living was agony—dark and hopeless.

As the plot flashed before his eyes like a spinning lantern, each scene stabbing at his heart, Xiaoman closed his eyes in resignation.

In the next life, I want to be a dog. If there’s food, I’ll eat; if not, I’ll steal. I’ll wander around carefree, basking in the long-lost sun. Whether I live or die, I won’t leave a single trace on this world.

And one more thing…

Please, please, let me never have family members again.

His consciousness began to scatter…

But the next second, Shen Xiaoman’s eyes snapped open. His five senses rushed back.

Immediately followed by a searing, spicy pain in his throat and nasal cavity.

“Cough! Cough, cough, cough!”

The stinging pain burned his windpipe like a knife. Xiaoman couldn’t help but cough violently, his limbs curling in pain.

Instinctively, he tried to clutch his chest, but his arms flailed sluggishly. He couldn’t find the right spot.

Instead, he caught sight of the hands grasping in mid-air—tiny, chubby, with rolls of “lotus root” fat on the wrists. They were the hands of a baby.

“Ah… wa…”

Xiaoman opened his mouth, desperate to speak. Hearing the tiny, milky voice, his eyes widened slowly.

…?

Xiaoman sensed something was wrong.

However, his suddenly shrunken brain capacity made it impossible to think normally. He was dim-witted and slow, unable to grasp what had happened.

“Brother Ling, you’re only sixteen, how’d you end up with a kid? Hahaha, I’m dying! Who’s the kid’s mom?”

“No wonder you’ve been skipping class lately. Delivering a baby? Boy or girl?”

“Raising a kid in the dorm? Classic Ling-ge. What about the fight tonight with those idiots from Dongfeng? Not going?”

“You just choked him, Ling-ge. Look at his little face turning red. Aw, he’s actually pretty cute. Let me touch him.”

Xiaoman’s wobbly vision gradually stabilized. The light was dim and the space cramped. He smelled a heavy, messy stench of instant noodles mixed with cigarette smoke. Several boys with blurred faces were vying for a curious look at him.

Following the jokes, someone reached out.

SLAP! The hand was swatted away heavily.

“Get lost.”

A hoarse, low male voice rang out from above. It was in that awkward voice-changing phase, sounding a bit like a raspy drake.

Xiaoman was still dazed.

His big eyes darted around as he slowly tilted his head back. He met a pair of cold, dark eyes and… a head of golden, spiky “sea urchin” hair that nearly blinded him.

“??” This time, Xiaoman was truly frightened.

A foreign friend? No, this Asian face looks familiar…

The golden sea urchin frowned in disgust. “What are you looking at? Just eat! You’re so hard to serve, tsk.”

He muttered as he shoveled a spoonful of something into Xiaoman’s mouth.

“Mmph…” Xiaoman’s mouth was stuffed. He tasted the fragrance of rice.

It was piping hot rice cereal!

One delicious mouthful followed another, then another…

Xiaoman’s brain was “blocked” by the cereal; he stopped thinking and just kept opening his mouth to swallow. His mouth was covered in cereal mixed with bits of green leaves. He felt a warm glow in his stomach.

Half a small bowl was finished in no time.

Xiaoman smacked his lips, wanting more. He waved his tiny hands and kicked his feet restlessly.

Oh, oh! This is so yummy!

After a while, Xiaoman felt a belated sense of embarrassment. I’m not a real baby! How did I let rice cereal pacify me?

Although the Golden Sea Urchin had choked him earlier, he was clearly an experienced “nanny.” He acted very calm. After finishing the feed, he used a wet soft cloth to wipe Xiaoman’s mouth clean and tossed it to one of the boys who had been watching.

“Go wash this.”

“You got it, Ling-ge!”

The boy scurried out of the dorm. The others crowded around again. Xiaoman felt like a monkey in a zoo.

Fortunately, the Sea Urchin holding him kept shooing them away like they were flies.

One by one, the others left, cigarettes dangling from their lips, arms slung over each other’s shoulders.

The cramped boys’ dormitory gradually became empty and quiet.

The boy who went to wash the cloth returned. He squatted in front of Shen Ling, smiling as he looked up slightly at the little tot in his “Ling-ge’s” arms.

“Ling-ge, you still haven’t said where this kid came from. He’s really cute.”

He stared intently, like a cat seeing a mouse for the first time, his eyes full of pure curiosity.

Shen Ling looked lazy, not even raising his eyes. “Can’t you tell? He’s my brother. My mom went to the hospital to look after my grandma and couldn’t handle him. She sent him to school for me to help out for a bit. Anyway, she knows I’m not studying here. Where’s the towel, Yang-zi? Give it to me.”

Yang Jun handed it over and laughed. “Ling-ge, you’re awesome. You even know how to babysit.”

Shen Ling lowered his head to carefully wipe the baby’s face. After a long silence in the dorm, he suddenly said, “Yang-zi, after the high school entrance exams, I want to go south to find work. Take some odd jobs, do some business. Do you want to come with me?”

Yang Jun froze.

The decision was sudden. But Yang Jun could guess the reason.

Only those close to Shen Ling knew he came from a mountain village and that his family’s situation was dire.

His father dragged a lame leg around various construction sites in the county, while his mother looked after the kids and the fields back in the village. They could have scraped by, but an elderly family member had suddenly fallen ill, and the hospital bills weren’t cheap.

Lately, Shen Ling had been skipping class to do odd jobs to help with expenses. He had likely been planning to drop out for a while.

“Sure,” Yang Jun agreed readily.

He didn’t like school anyway; staying with Shen Ling was more interesting. He admired the way Shen Ling handled things—his temper was hard, but his fists were harder. He was fearless. Once, someone mocked his father for being lame; Shen Ling cornered the guy and beat him half to death, eventually turning him into his loyal subordinate.

Shen Ling smiled and bumped fists with his best friend.

As the two began discussing the details, Shen Ling calmly explained his plan while gently patting Xiaoman’s back. His body swayed back and forth in a slow, rhythmic motion, acting like a human rocking chair to soothe the baby to sleep.

“Ling-ge, let me hold him for a sec.”

Yang Jun looked at the dozing tot, unable to resist, and reached out expectantly. It was the first time he’d seen such a well-behaved and adorable human cub; compared to the relatives’ kids he saw during New Year’s, this was a different species entirely. The genes in Shen Ling’s family were truly superior.

Shen Ling’s eyes said “Beat it.” “Cute, right? Want one? Ask your mom to get one for you. This one’s mine.”

The upward lilt in his voice carried a hint of hidden pride.

Xiaoman grew sleepier, his consciousness becoming hazy. His tiny hand gripped the sleeve of Shen Ling’s blue middle-school uniform, blinking hard to maintain a final sliver of wakefulness.

Before falling into a deep sleep, he finally remembered who the Golden Sea Urchin holding him was—

His brother, Shen Ling, who had died young in prison.

He had seen Yang Jun too. Before thirty, Yang Jun’s hair had turned gray, making him look fifty. Years ago, he had silently handed Shen Ling’s ashes to Xiaoman before turning to leave.

But Xiaoman had seen him later while visiting the grave. Yang Jun was leaning against his brother’s tombstone, weeping bitterly, drunk and mumbling: “Brother, I let you down…” “I should have talked you out of it back then…” “Let’s be brothers again in the next life…”

As Xiaoman thought about this, his head slowly drooped.

He fell asleep, nestled in his brother’s warm embrace.

—

It took baby Xiaoman two whole days to fully grasp the situation.

He had actually been reborn!

Reborn back into his one-year-old toddler self!

It was a mix of joy and sorrow. The joy was having a second chance; the sorrow was that a one-year-old could do absolutely nothing except drink milk! Dammit!

Oh, right. He could also eat rice cereal.

Baby Shen, with his round little belly, lay on the bottom bunk of Shen Ling’s dorm. He finally let out a “food burp,” squinted comfortably, and tried to roll over.

The Xichuan Middle School where his brother studied wasn’t known for good grades, but it was famous for producing “problem students” and hoodlums.

Shen Ling was the cream of the crop.

As far as Xiaoman knew, his brother had been the school bully during these years, leading his subordinates to fight their way through all nine middle schools in the area. In other words, he ruled over the delinquent youth of the entire county.

It sounded cool, the kind of thing middle-schoolers idolize.

But Xiaoman was an exception. He didn’t like using violence to solve problems, so once he grew up, he didn’t like hanging out with his brother. The relationship between the two had been poor.

But after his brother died, Xiaoman found himself missing him, regretting that he hadn’t visited him more after he went to prison.

Now that he was back in his toddler years, this sense of longing gave him a friendly “filter” through which to view his brother.

Especially after just eating the delicious rice cereal his brother had mixed and lying on his tidy blue-checkered bed, Xiaoman’s affection for his brother surged. He couldn’t stop staring at the brother he hadn’t seen in so long.

Finally managing to roll over, Xiaoman lay at the head of the bed, tilting his head to watch him.

Shen Ling was packing his schoolbag. The tall boy had a cheap cigarette dangling unlit from his lips—he didn’t light it because of the kid nearby, just chewing on it to satisfy the craving.

His faded black T-shirt highlighted his shoulder blades and thin back muscles. His long eyelashes drooped, half-hidden by his soft, unstyled golden hair.

His brother had four days until the high school entrance exams. After the exams, Shen Ling would secretly take a “green-skin” train to the south, skipping high school entirely.

Xiaoman knew very little about his brother’s life back then. He didn’t know where he worked or what happened to him.

He only knew that in his previous life, when his brother came home for New Year’s from the south, he had a massive sum of 50,000 yuan in his pocket. He paid off all of Grandma’s hospital bills and bought Xiaoman a huge tin of Ovaltine and a box of building blocks—they were so much fun.

But the once-sturdy brother had become skin and bones, his health failing so badly he would pant after just a few steps.

Xiaoman had thought a lot over the past few days. Restricted by his physiological brain capacity, his thinking process was slow, but every thought was clear and firm.

Since he was reborn and no longer bound by the plot, he would work hard to change their fate.

Even a milk-drinking toddler had to work hard!

Since a baby couldn’t become strong enough to protect the family, he would change his strategy:

Work hard to make his family members become the “powerful thighs,” so they could protect themselves!

And along the way, the baby could hitch a ride on those powerful thighs~

Perfect.

First on the list: his dear brother, Shen Ling.

Based on his past life, his brother must have suffered greatly in the south. So, he shouldn’t go! There was no future there anyway. His brother clearly had a path much better suited for him.

“Wa! Ah wa!” The baby suddenly let out a cry.

Hearing the noise behind him, Shen Ling turned around.

“…”

Shen Ling took the cigarette out of his mouth. “Behave yourself.”

He walked over and picked Xiaoman up to sit him up.

“Ah, wa ah, ah…”

Xiaoman immediately splayed his two short legs, leaning his upper body forward. He almost tumbled off the bed.

“Shen Xiaoman!” Shen Ling’s brow twitched violently. With a dark face, he pulled the baby into his arms, locking him in place.

But the baby was disobedient, twisting and turning, wailing loudly and bending over with all his might. His two little fleshy hands reached toward the head of Shen Ling’s bed.

Shen Ling’s brow furrowed slightly.

After watching for a while, he hesitantly squatted down while holding the baby.

The baby got even more excited, straightening his arms to reach out—

The direction his tiny arms were waving toward was Shen Ling’s pair of dusty basketball shoes.