A Secret (GL) - Chapter 18

The sound of a knock echoed through the room.

Gu Shuge huffily shut her mouth. Shen Juan said, “Come in.”

The study door was pushed open by a servant. She stepped inside and said, “Miss Shen, dinner is ready. If there’s nothing else, we’ll be heading off for the day.”

Shen Juan replied, “Alright.”

The servant left. It wasn’t until she pulled the door shut that she suddenly realized the scene in the study felt a bit off. There was clearly only Miss Shen in the room, yet there were two chairs at the desk, and she was sitting in the one on the side—leaving the main seat open, as if someone were sitting there and they were having a conversation.

The servant was spooked by her own thought and quickly shook the idea from her head.

This servant had worked for the family for over a decade. Gu Shuge remembered her but wasn’t very familiar with her. The servants in their home usually arrived at 7:00 AM and left at 5:00 PM to go to the housing provided by the Gu family; since they didn’t live on the premises, the relationship between masters and servants wasn’t particularly intimate.

As soon as the door closed, Gu Shuge looked back at Shen Juan and sternly reiterated: “We cannot try the possession method.”

But Shen Juan had already begun working.

After Shuge finished speaking, there was no reaction for a long time. She was forced to call a truce, but she secretly decided that if Shen Juan really tried to go through with it, she absolutely would not cooperate.

Shen Juan typed a few lines on the keyboard, then paused. She took a tablet from the drawer, selected an audiobook, set it to auto-play, and placed the tablet squarely on the desk in front of Gu Shuge.

The voice of a man filled the study, reading a novel with rhythmic intonation. Gu Shuge closed her eyes to listen. Shen Juan, completely unaffected, continued with her work.

It wasn’t until three hours later that Shen Juan stopped.

She said, “I’m going to eat. You keep listening for a while; when it’s time, I’ll come get you.”

After speaking, she didn’t leave immediately, looking as if she were waiting for an answer. Gu Shuge nodded. After a moment, Shen Juan smiled and added one more instruction: “Be good.”

Perhaps because of that “be good,” a spark of innate human rebelliousness flickered. The more one is told not to do something, the more one wants to do it.

Once Shen Juan left, Gu Shuge couldn’t sit still; even the well-narrated audiobook lost its appeal. She stood up and walked to the window, wanting to press against the glass to see if the snow had stopped. However, she leaned too far, and her head passed right through the window into the night air.

The snow had stopped, but the wind was strong; she could hear it whistling through the courtyard. No matter how hard the wind blew, it couldn’t touch her. After watching the winter night courtyard for a while, she pulled her head back in. Bored, she paced around the room for a bit before finally ignoring Shen Juan’s instructions. Instead of waiting to be called, she went out on her own.

Shen Juan was having dinner in the dining room. The food had been prepared three hours ago and was long cold; Shen Juan had reheated it, so the dishes were steaming.

She had just sat down, and the bowl of rice was still full; she had only taken a few bites.

Gu Shuge sat across from her, propping her face in her hands, watching her quietly.

The way Shen Juan ate was beautiful—not slow, but not wolfing it down either; it was a very natural pace. Everything she did gave off a sense of being well-ordered; even the small things in life didn’t escape this sense of structure.

Gu Shuge watched her eat methodically for a while, and unexpectedly, she felt hungry.

Her stomach cooperatively let out a loud “Gurgle—”. Gu Shuge’s face flushed with embarrassment as she covered her stomach, looking piteously at the downcast eyes of the dining Shen Juan. She said, “I’m so hungry.”

Shen Juan gave no reaction.

Of course, she had instructed Shuge to stay in the study, so she definitely didn’t know Shuge was right across from her. Otherwise, she probably would have said a word or two to keep her from being bored.

Gu Shuge couldn’t eat, so she could only silently recite “You’re already a ghost” to soothe the hunger.

This chant-like self-healing method likely only failed when facing Shen Juan. It worked well enough for hunger. But the moment she managed to soothe it, she’d see those excellent-looking dishes, and hunger would come roaring back. So she had to soothe it again, and it would return again—stuck in an endless loop.

She finally understood why Shen Juan wanted her to wait in the study; it was likely because she worried Shuge would get hungry watching someone eat.

Gu Shuge felt dejected. She stood up silently and returned to the study, thinking to herself: I really should have listened to Sister.

Not long after, Shen Juan returned. She first turned off the audiobook and then commanded: “Come.”

Gu Shuge followed. When Shen Juan reached the door, she suddenly smiled, turned back, and asked: “Did you sneak out to find me?”

Gu Shuge, wanting to save face, spoke stubbornly: “No.”

After asking, Shen Juan turned and headed to the living room. Gu Shuge trailed behind her slowly. As she walked, her face grew belatedly hot, thinking to herself: Sister looks so beautiful when she smiles.

With a face as red as a tomato, she didn’t quite dare look at Shen Juan until the older woman took out the book brought back from Guangping Temple.

The blush on Gu Shuge’s face faded instantly. She became alert, filled with hostility toward the book.

Shen Juan could likely guess her rejection, so she began to reason with her first to prevent any rebelliousness.

“We’ve tried every method in this book except this one. I believe in this book because it belongs to a high monk; the talisman pouch was also given by him. He’s gone on a pilgrimage, and I’ve already sent people to find him.”

No wonder Shen Juan believed in it so much. Gu Shuge knew how powerful the talisman was; since they belonged to the same master, the book shouldn’t be entirely worthless.

Gu Shuge’s tone softened as she said: “Then wait until he comes back. Either way, I’m not possessing you.”

The book also described the harms of possession: a physical vessel can only hold one soul. After being possessed, the body inevitably suffers damage—at best, weakness for several days; at worst, harm to the original soul within the body.

No matter which it was, Gu Shuge didn’t want to try. she didn’t want to hurt Shen Juan for her own sake.

“But after eight days of searching, the people I sent haven’t found a single trace of him. You must know what that means in modern society. So, we continue to look, but we cannot pin all our hopes on him.”

In modern society, finding someone isn’t like the old days—holding a portrait and searching by eye. With the influence of the Gu Group, searching for a person shouldn’t take eight days without a single clue unless they were truly elusive.

Gu Shuge still wouldn’t budge: “Since he’s a master, he definitely isn’t that easy to find.”

Shen Juan reviewed the procedure once more and began preparing the necessary items. Gu Shuge said “no” many times, but it was useless; Shen Juan couldn’t hear her. She could only watch her being busy.

Shen Juan quickly prepared everything. She calmed herself slightly and said: “We’re beginning.”

Gu Shuge backed away seven or eight steps, staying far away just in case the ritual had a coercive effect; she worried that standing too close would result in her soul-form being controlled.

But standing far away made her feel like an outsider. The angle from which she viewed Shen Juan felt different than when she was right beside her.

She saw Shen Juan standing alone, meticulously washing her hands, devoutly burning incense, and murmuring scriptures. The first time she had read the Fundamental Vow Sutra, she had read from the book. Later, she worried that reading from a book wasn’t sincere enough, so she memorized the entire thing.

Buddhist scriptures like these are difficult and obscure, hard enough to read smoothly, let alone memorize. Shen Juan had stayed up for two nights without sleep to do it.

From a modern perspective, watching a Buddhist ritual that looks like superstition is somewhat ridiculous. But Shen Juan did it with complete seriousness, step by step, following the book’s description exactly, not daring to make even a single mistake.

Gu Shuge saw her light the talisman paper, murmuring an incantation. The ashes fell into a glass of water. Her eyes widened as she watched Shen Juan drink the water.

According to the book’s explanation, this talisman water would weaken the body’s vital energy (yuan-qi), allowing the waiting ghost to take advantage of the weakness and enter.

Gu Shuge suddenly felt like a baring-claws-and-teeth evil ghost waiting to invade her sister’s body. She hurriedly took another step back, and then she saw that Shen Juan’s body truly began to change. In her eyes, Shen Juan’s body seemed to become blurred, emitting a kind of gravitational pull.

In the eyes of the ghost Gu Shuge, this weakened body looked incredibly “delicious.”

This method actually works!

Gu Shuge restrained the impulse to lunge at the body, even backing away several more steps.

After an unknown amount of time, Shen Juan’s body returned to normal.

But her face was deathly pale, looking like someone who had suffered a severe illness—haggard and worn.

She hadn’t even possessed her, yet she was already this weak. If she had actually entered, even with extreme care, it would probably cause her a major illness. Gu Shuge thought silently.

“Xiaoge?” Shen Juan searched for her nearby, unaware she had hidden far away.

Hearing the call, Gu Shuge slowly approached until she was in front of her.

Shen Juan felt her body weaken in an instant, but Gu Shuge hadn’t entered. She was silent for a while before asking softly: “What’s wrong?”

Gu Shuge lowered her head guiltily: “Let’s not use this method.”

“The killer is very cunning. You need to tell me everything you know as soon as possible. Possessing me is the only effective method we’ve found so far.”

Shen Juan’s health was poor; she hadn’t rested well these past few days, and the talisman water made her look even more haggard. In Gu Shuge’s memory, Shen Juan was always powerful; no matter the danger, she stood firmly in front of her, as if nothing could defeat her.

Even though her mind was still clear and her voice remained soft yet calm…

For some reason, she didn’t look so invincible anymore.

Gu Shuge felt lost, but more than that, her heart ached.

Certain lines cannot be crossed. She wanted to know the truth of her death and wanted to stay by her sister’s side forever, but if the price was hurting Shen Juan, she wanted none of it.

“We haven’t reached that point yet.” Gu Shuge felt she was failing Shen Juan’s good intentions, but she couldn’t convince herself to burden Shen Juan’s body.

The scent of burnt paper lingered in the air; the incense and candles were still burning.

According to the routine of the past few nights, Shen Juan should be clearing the items and comforting her, telling her not to be dejected or give up.

But having finally found a way to communicate, how could Shen Juan give up so easily?

She took out a new bundle of incense, candles, and talisman paper, and replaced the glass with fresh water.

Gu Shuge stared at her tensely.

“If you’re here, come to Sister’s side,” Shen Juan said to the air.

After speaking, she began the ritual from the beginning. Step by step, methodically. Once the initial steps were done, she lit the talisman, collected the ashes in the water, raised the glass, and drank the talisman water.

This time, she struggled to drink it. Gu Shuge saw her brow furrow into a tight knot, swallowing with difficulty, but she forced herself to finish every drop.