After Breaking Up with the Scumbag Girl, I Became an Alpha [Entertainment Circle] (GL) - Chapter 10

Although the two made up, their relationship suddenly became awkward and strained. Xu Wuhuan no longer clung to her, mostly doing her own thing. Zhong Yan, in turn, would inevitably get angry over this attitude. Xu Wuhuan would initially suppress her impatience, explain, and coax her. Zhong Yan would sometimes calm down, but other times she would continue to be relentlessly angry, and then Xu Wuhuan would simply stop paying attention to her.

The two repeatedly went through cycles of making up, getting angry, and making up again. In this back-and-forth tug-of-war, both were mentally exhausted.

Xu Wuhuan disliked Zhong Yan more and more, finding her utterly annoying, and even regretted ever falling for her.

Yuan Lai had been having conflicts with Cheng Yan lately, so she would come to Xu Wuhuan to complain as soon as class ended. As Xu Wuhuan’s close friend in the class, it was natural for her to offer comfort.

Consequently, this situation arose:

Every time Xu Wuhuan and Zhong Yan were talking, Yuan Lai would come over seeking solace. In those moments, Xu Wuhuan would immediately turn her attention to Yuan Lai, abandoning whatever she was discussing with Zhong Yan.

Yuan Lai sometimes noticed Zhong Yan’s darkened expression and would feel too awkward to keep clinging to Xu Wuhuan, leaving after just a few words.

Xu Wuhuan naturally noticed Zhong Yan’s miserable, gloomy face, but strangely, she felt no pity. Instead, she found Zhong Yan’s expression rather irritating.

Perhaps the sheer number of arguments recently had completely worn away Xu Wuhuan’s initial passion.

Xu Wuhuan deeply disliked arguing. This likely stemmed from her childhood, where her family constantly fought. The empty villa was filled with sharp, chilling insults and disputes. She would be locked in a dark room, hugging her arms and trembling. In the day-to-day fighting, all the malice in Gu Yuangming’s heart was drawn out, and he watched Xu Chi die in a fever during his rut.

In the eyes of the young Xu Wuhuan, arguing was the source of all evil. It was a foul, dirty mud pit that would drown everyone.

Zhong Yan repeatedly trampled on her line of aversion and hatred, yet still saw herself as innocent and wronged, unaware that Xu Wuhuan watched her like a clown with cold eyes.

Xu Wuhuan went through the motions and asked Zhong Yan what was wrong.

Zhong Yan’s eyes were blazing red with fury. She sharply questioned, “You were clearly talking to me just now! Why did you turn around and ignore me??”

Xu Wuhuan impatiently frowned, her tone calm. “She’s in a bad mood. I had to comfort her, didn’t I?”

“But you were talking to me at the time! You skipped me without even saying hello! Am I that dispensable?” Zhong Yan’s voice was filled with intense grievance.

Xu Wuhuan found her behavior so ugly. She felt deeply weary, and her tone inevitably turned sharp. “Are you f*cking done or not! Are you going to fight me over this petty nonsense? Are you sick! Yuan Lai is my friend. Is it too much for me to comfort her?”

Xu Wuhuan unleashed all her recent negative emotions. “Zhong Yan, can you please be rational? Can you control your possessiveness? To what extent do you want to control me? Why don’t you just lock me up in your house!!”

This was the first time Xu Wuhuan had spoken to her so fiercely. Zhong Yan was completely stunned, her eyes filled with disbelief and resentment. Her face was pale, as if life had drained from her. After a long pause, she mumbled, “…Xu Wuhuan, are you starting… to get tired of me?”

Xu Wuhuan was taken aback by the question. Was she starting to get tired of her?

They had been dating for just over two months, but they had argued so many times recently that she had almost forgotten they were in a relationship. Her love for Zhong Yan had been completely worn away by her relentless obsession.

She couldn’t find the joy of being in love anymore. Therefore, when Zhong Yan asked her this, her subconscious impulse was to answer:

Yes, I’m tired of you.

But she still had some conscience and replied vaguely, “Don’t overthink it.”

Her perfunctory answer was too obvious. Zhong Yan saw right through it. Her heart instantly felt a crushing pain. She vaguely felt that she might have been deceived.

Zhong Yan wasn’t stupid. She had noticed Xu Wuhuan’s recent dismissiveness, but she had been living in self-deception, refusing to believe it. She didn’t believe Xu Wuhuan was tired of her; it was too absurd. She thought Xu Wuhuan wasn’t that kind of person.

But now, she couldn’t afford not to believe. She started to panic. She truly liked Xu Wuhuan. She truly couldn’t let go of her.

The two were living on lonely islands. Zhong Yan desperately tried to approach Xu Wuhuan’s island, but the sea wind blew her off course, and Xu Wuhuan was willingly moving away from her. She would circle endlessly and never reach it.

The two were trapped in a dead end again. The wall ahead was hard, and the surroundings were cramped and stifling, threatening to suffocate them both.

After evening study hall, Xu Wuhuan never waited for her again, always leaving with a random excuse.

Zhong Yan’s nerves were constantly strained. She imagined their future relationship again and again, racking her brain for a way out.

Every imagination was a form of torture, with sharp thorns tearing at her mind. The dense pain spread to her limbs and bones. She was suffering immensely, yet no one understood.

In contrast, Xu Wuhuan looked calm and peaceful every day, as if nothing had happened. She seemed to have walked out of the dead end, leaving Zhong Yan behind to self-destruct.

A relationship with a rift is always fragile.

The winter break arrived, and their strained relationship persisted without easing up through the New Year.

During the break, their chances to meet were fewer. For Xu Wuhuan, this was a relief. However, Zhong Yan still sent her masses of text messages every day, non-stop from morning to night. The content was extremely boring, and Xu Wuhuan found it irritating. She muted notifications from Zhong Yan and rarely replied.

During the many days without seeing Zhong Yan, Xu Wuhuan’s feelings for her grew fainter. There were days when Xu Wuhuan wouldn’t think of her at all.

Finally, one day, Zhong Yan messaged her, asking to meet up. Both tacitly understood that this was not a simple meeting—it was likely the last one.

It was snowing heavily outside. The two met at the location of their first date. Lights stretched along the path, glittering beautifully.

Xu Wuhuan saw Zhong Yan. She had lost weight, her face was pale, and her eyes were red and swollen as if she had been crying. A layer of grey cloudiness, complex and hard to discern, floated in her eyes.

The two met each other’s gaze without speaking. Snow fell between them, adding a blurry white mist to the other’s face. They stood in the snow, very close, yet seemingly separated by a chasm.

It was ridiculous. A few months ago, they were inseparable. Now, they faced each other with this strange distance.

They walked together, silent.

Zhong Yan had been living in dread at home every day. Xu Wuhuan didn’t reply to her messages, and she performed her one-person play alone. She didn’t know what Xu Wuhuan was thinking. What did she want? Did she still like her?

She struggled between Xu Wuhuan’s neglect and her own suspicion, which suffocated her and almost drove her mad. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore and sought her out for clarity.

A broken relationship is like a house. A person lives inside, and the house is cracked, leaking everywhere, in danger of collapse. Yet, the person inside still fruitlessly tries to repair it. It is utter folly.

“Xu Wuhuan,” Zhong Yan’s voice was low, carrying a hint of emptiness. “I suddenly remember you once said you wouldn’t abandon me.”

Xu Wuhuan blinked, saying calmly, “I forgot. I’ve never been trustworthy.”

Xu Wuhuan was doing this on purpose. She cruelly denied her previous promise just to lay bare the sin in her heart, spreading her intentions before Zhong Yan so she could crush and accept them.

Zhong Yan immediately caught her breath, her nose stinging. She suppressed her sobs, enduring immense pain to speak the words: “…Xu Wuhuan, do you not like me anymore?”

Xu Wuhuan stopped, looking up at the falling snow. It was so cold.

Xu Wuhuan delayed her answer. The silence in the snowy night was terrifying. The sound of their breathing floated in the air, a desperate pressure on Zhong Yan’s nerves.

Zhong Yan’s heart hammered rapidly. She dared not blink, and her breathing slowed considerably. She was extremely afraid of Xu Wuhuan’s answer. Afraid it wasn’t what she wanted. Afraid…

“…Mhm.” After a long silence, Xu Wuhuan finally replied. After saying those two words, Xu Wuhuan felt a great weight lift from her heart.

As if she had finally gotten rid of a burden.

[I truly am a wicked, monstrous freak. I threw you away with an impatient look, and I feel no regret or sorrow. My heart is rotten, and as a result, I will bear all the subsequent resentment, grief, despair, and coldness.]

— Xu Wuhuan

That single word shattered Zhong Yan’s calm exterior, transforming into a sharp sword that pierced her heart. She could no longer hold back her tears, which fell thick and fast, uncontrollably. She was in unbearable pain.

Xu Wuhuan saw Zhong Yan’s tears but felt no surplus emotion, only a terrifying calm and indifference.

She was somewhat puzzled. “Zhong Yan, why are you crying? There’s no need. Wouldn’t it be easier to just move on?”

This sentence ignited Zhong Yan’s fury. She lifted her head and screamed through her sobs, “You have no feelings, so of course you can move on! You dragged me into the abyss and now you’re mocking me because I can’t climb out!! Xu Wuhuan, how can you say that!!”

Xu Wuhuan still didn’t understand. She was a person with very poor empathy. She couldn’t comprehend Zhong Yan’s extreme emotions, finding it very strange.

But Zhong Yan was crying so pitifully in front of her. A faint sense of conscience stirred in her. She said with self-mockery, “Zhong Yan, I might genuinely be incapable of love. I’m full of lies and utterly shameless. I swore to you I wouldn’t abandon you, but in the end, didn’t I grow weary and fatigued? You are crying in front of me, but I am like a robot, completely unmoved.”

“I cannot understand your profound emotions, but I feel I am unworthy of your affection, because a maggot doesn’t deserve to be loved. You don’t need to cling to this, after all—”

Xu Wuhuan paused, then continued, “I can’t love anyone, not even myself. I cannot give you ultimate love. I’m emotionally cold, and I despise myself. I truly cannot give you enough security. It’s better to just end it.”

This long explanation completely shattered Zhong Yan’s heart. She finally believed that Xu Wuhuan didn’t like her anymore. She also finally saw this person clearly: a ruthless and cruel individual.

This person had used passion to lure Zhong Yan into her trap. After toying with her, she stood above, mocking her stupidity, and left without a trace of lingering attachment, leaving Zhong Yan to struggle in the trap.

A dense hatred filled Zhong Yan’s heart. She fiercely slapped Xu Wuhuan, and before Xu Wuhuan could react, she pushed her with immense force.

Xu Wuhuan was shoved hard against a tree. Accumulated snow on the branches rustled down, falling onto her face, neck. The icy chill pierced her to the bone.

Zhong Yan, her eyes red, articulated every word through gritted teeth, full of pain and hatred:

“Xu Wuhuan, remember this: You are human trash.”

“I will not bless you. I hope you are betrayed by everyone you know in this life. I want you to never find love in this lifetime.”

The two never contacted each other again. Zhong Yan deleted all their contact information, cutting off the relationship cleanly.

Xu Wuhuan just smiled at the time. She didn’t care. To this day, she remains indifferent to that relationship.

Zhong Yan, in her life, was merely a passing acquaintance whose face she happened to remember.

Days passed. When school resumed, the two were like strangers, exchanging no words, not even eye contact.

Zhong Yan’s expression was grim and she was silent all day long.

Xu Wuhuan didn’t pay attention to her. A few days after school started, the class teacher rearranged the seats again. This time, Zhong Yan actively requested a seat far away from Xu Wuhuan.

The class had recently noticed the abnormality between the two and unanimously believed they had broken up. Frankly, they never thought the relationship would last long.

Zhong Yan, a Beta, was too ordinary.

Xu Wuhuan sat with another girl. Yuan Lai and Cheng Yan sat in front of her. Yuan Lai asked about her and Zhong Yan.

Xu Wuhuan briefly said they had broken up.

Yuan Lai didn’t look very surprised, but Cheng Yan asked if she had noticed Zhong Yan’s recent odd behavior.

Xu Wuhuan was confused for a second. She was too far from Zhong Yan and indeed hadn’t noticed.

Xu Wuhuan learned some things from Cheng Yan. Zhong Yan had become very gloomy recently. The girl who was normally cheerful and cute was now cold-faced every day, looking lifeless, as if she had fallen into a vortex of depression. Her friends said that Zhong Yan’s eyes were sometimes very red and swollen, as if she had been crying intensely.

Xu Wuhuan’s heart remained cold, but she suddenly felt a hint of guilt. She knew that Zhong Yan’s state was, perhaps, partly her doing.

She felt somewhat sinful and suddenly couldn’t face Zhong Yan anymore. It just so happened that Gu Yuangming’s company had recently opened an office abroad and asked if Xu Wuhuan and Gu Chang’an wanted to transfer to school overseas. Gu Chang’an had no objections.

Normally, Xu Wuhuan would have refused, but she didn’t know how to face Zhong Yan, so she accepted.

She only told Yuan Lai; she didn’t tell anyone else.

On the day she quietly left, Yuan Lai asked if she wanted to say goodbye to Zhong Yan.

Xu Wuhuan glanced at Zhong Yan. Her eyes were beautiful, but she was much thinner, and a deep, persistent gloom clung to her brow.

Xu Wuhuan smiled. “No, let’s just leave it at that.”

She thought of something and told Yuan Lai, “Help me tell her I’m sorry. I owe her an apology.”

“And also,” Xu Wuhuan took a red string out of her pocket, with a bell dangling from it. This type of string was popular in class at the time. Xu Wuhuan had spent a long time learning how to make it but hadn’t gotten a chance to give it to Zhong Yan. “Give this to her, too.”

Xu Wuhuan left, silently and without leaving anything behind, without saying goodbye. The class was shocked. Zhong Yan only blinked slightly at the time, showing no other reaction.

When Yuan Lai conveyed Xu Wuhuan’s words, Zhong Yan’s expression was faint. She simply gave a soft “Mhm” and said nothing else.

She took the red string, her eyes downcast, showing no joy or sorrow, like a cold pool. She lightly pulled at the corner of her mouth, without any hint of a smile.

Then she loosened her grip. The string fell to the floor, making a brittle sound as the bell jingled. Zhong Yan gently stepped on the bell, crushing it into pieces.

She was trying to discard Xu Wuhuan, including everything related to her.

She thought: After all, there are countless people in this world who suffer from unrequited love. Many more get lost in the crowd after a mistake. I am merely one of them. There’s truly nothing tragic about it.

A month later, Zhong Yan differentiated into an S-class Alpha, to the surprise of everyone in the class.

Zhong Yan became emotionally reserved at that time. Though she still smiled, her smile was always inscrutable.

She became difficult to read.

She seemed to have moved on, yet she hadn’t.

[I was discarded by you in the end. How pitiful. The first person I ever liked so much threw me into the dirt. I was drowned in the dust, and the unwillingness and hatred broke through my bones, growing dense, sharp thorns, waiting to rip your flesh to shreds.

Xu Wuhuan, because of you, I was forced to grow up, and now, with a dark countenance, I want to tear you apart.] — Zhong Yan