After Breaking Up with the Scumbag Girl, I Became an Alpha [Entertainment Circle] (GL) - Chapter 8

It was approaching winter, and the cold liquid poured onto her hair, combined with the wind, was very chilling. Xu Wuhuan went to Yuan Lai’s dorm to wash and dry her hair, and Zhong Yan went with her.

Xu Wuhuan had been to Yuan Lai’s dorm a few times, so she knew her way around. Xu Wuhuan was wiping her hair on the balcony. Zhong Yan stood beside her, silent the entire time.

Xu Wuhuan saw her looking downcast and asked, “What’s wrong? You look unhappy.”

Zhong Yan remained silent, absorbed in her own thoughts. She suddenly realized that she had never been able to do anything for Xu Wuhuan. Xu Wuhuan had done so much for her, yet she had always accepted it without guilt, engaging in intimacy with her while accepting Xu Wuhuan’s favors, all while evading what Xu Wuhuan truly wanted.

She was truly a b**ch, disgusting.

“What happened to your arm?” Zhong Yan had just turned around to say something when her eyes widened, focusing on Xu Wuhuan’s left wrist.

Perhaps from washing her hair, Xu Wuhuan had pushed her sleeve up. From Zhong Yan’s angle, she could clearly see Xu Wuhuan’s wrist.

The fair wrist was covered in ugly scars. Dark red scars were raised and bumpy, like hideous snakes crawling over them, crossing to form a gruesome pattern. Zhong Yan’s eyesight was excellent; she could clearly see some fresh, bright red scars weeping blood, which looked horrifying against the pale skin. The scars looked very much like they had been cut, one by one, with a blade.

Zhong Yan’s heart trembled violently. Her mind went blank. She reacted quickly, grabbing Xu Wuhuan’s wrist and asking in a trembling voice, “…What… is this?”

Xu Wuhuan was unconcerned. She pulled her hand back and joked, “It’s just fake. Do you know scar makeup?”

Zhong Yan didn’t believe her for a second. Scar makeup, my ass. What kind of makeup bleeds? Her scrutinizing gaze locked onto Xu Wuhuan’s eyes, determined to get an answer.

Xu Wuhuan fell silent. Then, seeing she couldn’t hide it, she said with a touch of self-abandonment, “Oh, I cut myself.”

“Why!” Zhong Yan yelled. Her eyes were faintly bloodshot. No wonder Xu Wuhuan never wore short sleeves. She only just realized it now.

A fierce fire burned in Zhong Yan’s heart. She stared straight at her.

This is her first time getting angry. I didn’t expect her to be so fierce, Xu Wuhuan thought to herself.

Xu Wuhuan pulled her sleeve down to cover the scars. She rested her hand on the balcony railing, gazing into the distance, taking a deep breath, and letting out a self-deprecating laugh. “Can’t you tell? Haven’t you heard of self-harm?”

Zhong Yan’s heart sank. She opened her mouth with difficulty. “So why? Why would you do that?”

Perhaps the sunlight was too pleasant, but Xu Wuhuan couldn’t help but pour out the misery buried for years. Her tone was very light and empty:

“Because my psychological resilience is too poor, and I have to self-harm. I must use fresh red blood, hateful scars, and the pain of the blade to calm the frenzy and irritability that is about to erupt from me, so that I can smile and appear like a normal person.”

Zhong Yan was shocked for several seconds. She had never thought that Xu Wuhuan was actually this kind of person. Was she just that good at hiding it?

“Why are you… so…” Zhong Yan trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Xu Wuhuan knew what she wanted to say and smiled indifferently. A crack appeared in her calm expression, leaking out a deep, deathly air.

“So fragile? Is that what you mean?” Xu Wuhuan finished for her.

“Yan Yan,” she called her. “Do you know? If I had a choice, I really want to drown in the deep, dark sea, to fall into the abyss. I want to escape this world. Yes, I am that fragile.”

Xu Wuhuan laid all her ugly thoughts and masks bare before Zhong Yan. This was a masochistic pleasure for her. Her heart was extremely warped; she wanted to see Zhong Yan’s reaction.

A look like she’s seeing a monster? Or a look of pity for a stray dog? It was contradictory. She couldn’t accept a strange look from Zhong Yan, yet she desperately wanted to see pity extracted from Zhong Yan’s eyes.

Zhong Yan lowered her eyelashes, her lips tightly pressed together. Every silent second was excruciating torture for Xu Wuhuan.

Xu Wuhuan spoke quickly, like a string of firecrackers igniting. “Yan Yan, I’m actually not a good person. On the contrary, I’m not kind at all. My inner world is as dark and dirty as a venomous snake, like maggots. It’s right that you don’t like me, after all…”

Before she could finish, two warm lips suddenly pressed against hers, very lightly, withdrawing instantly. Xu Wuhuan was completely stunned.

Zhong Yan didn’t know how to kiss; it was just a fleeting touch. She felt her brain must have broken. At that moment, she couldn’t bear to listen to Xu Wuhuan’s words, and some impulse made her lean in and kiss her.

The words were blocked, but Xu Wuhuan looked like she had stalled. Zhong Yan was extremely embarrassed, her face entirely red. She spoke softly, “I don’t dislike you.”

She paused, organizing her thoughts, then said with determination and shyness, “Actually… I really like you. You… you don’t need to be so self-deprecating.”

“You are good. I don’t know how you are to others, but you are very good to me, and that’s enough.”

Xu Wuhuan had ripped open her own rotten, stinking skin and bones, expecting Zhong Yan to flee, but instead, she received a sweet kiss. She had been prepared to return to the darkness after being disgusted, but she received her light.

Xu Wuhuan and Zhong Yan started dating. Before long, the whole class knew. Yuan Lai pulled Xu Wuhuan aside, looking incredulous. She widened her mouth. “No way! When did you two get together?”

“I don’t know, I forgot. A long time ago, maybe.” Perhaps a long time ago, she had already settled in her heart.

Yuan Lai was still skeptical and worried. “Do you really like her? She’s a Beta.”

Xu Wuhuan glanced at her and said firmly, “Yuan Lai, you’re quite shallow, too. Liking someone is liking them. Why should such a pure thing have so many impurities?”

Yuan Lai rubbed her nose sheepishly. “Fine. As long as you’re happy.”

“How are things with you and Cheng Yan?” Xu Wuhuan changed the subject.

Yuan Lai was excited. “Cheng Yan agreed to try things out with me! I think I’m about to succeed.”

Xu Wuhuan smiled. “That’s great.”

What was dating like? Xu Wuhuan didn’t know, and neither did Zhong Yan. Both were novices, one more unreliable than the other.

They continued to stick together as usual. Their gazes were gooey, like glue, wanting to cling to each other. They could share a knowing smile with just an unintentional glance.

This feeling was like candy soaked in honey, sweet and filling the heart with joy.

Betas do not have a heat cycle, so there was no physical bond tying Xu Wuhuan and Zhong Yan together. Instead, their feelings were more pure and simple.

Xu Wuhuan once asked Zhong Yan why she liked her.

Zhong Yan said it was because she was the first person who was so good to her.

Zhong Yan was a person who severely lacked love. Growing up in a single-parent household with ordinary family circumstances, her father was an orphan and had to work alone to support her, so he was rarely by her side. From childhood, Zhong Yan had entertained herself alone.

She received too little love. The overly solitary and singular affection could not satisfy the void in her heart. Coupled with her excessive shyness, she had few friends and was often lonely.

Xu Wuhuan’s striking and fervent love rushed in like a gale, swiftly filling that emptiness. She fell into the trap without realizing it.

The two would hide in the dark corners after evening study hall to kiss. Xu Wuhuan’s warm, moist kisses landed on her brow, her earlobe, stirring up a hot, tingling numbness wherever they touched. Sober yet drunk, Zhong Yan passively received Xu Wuhuan’s whispering kisses, a secret and absurd intimacy.

Xu Wuhuan spoiled Zhong Yan to the core. Essentially, whatever Zhong Yan wanted, even if it was just a passing desire, Xu Wuhuan would find a way to get it for her.

People often talked behind Zhong Yan’s back, wondering how long an Alpha like Xu Wuhuan would favor a Beta. When Xu Wuhuan found out, she went directly to that person’s classroom during evening study hall, beat him up without caring about the onlookers, and recorded him saying ten times, “Zhong Yan is forever worthy of Xu Wuhuan’s love.”

She played the recording for Zhong Yan. Zhong Yan’s face was red, but Xu Wuhuan’s actions made her feel increasingly satisfied and intoxicated. She knew Xu Wuhuan was giving her security.

Xu Wuhuan pulled the hood of Zhong Yan’s jacket over her head. Zhong Yan’s face was very small, and the large hood almost covered her entire face. Xu Wuhuan held the sides of the hood, pulling Zhong Yan’s head down, and quickly kissed her cheek when no one was looking. She looked at her and said, “Yan Yan, I will never abandon you.”

Zhong Yan felt like she had fallen into a vortex named Xu Wuhuan, unable to pull herself out.

The two walked home together after evening study hall. The weather was too cold, so Xu Wuhuan liked to put Zhong Yan’s hands into her jacket pockets, warming Zhong Yan with her own hands as they walked forward step by step.

There was a sense of peaceful tranquility, like a lifetime had already passed calmly.

A flower shop opened near the school. Xu Wuhuan would occasionally buy a bouquet of flowers from it, sometimes roses, sometimes others. Afraid of making Zhong Yan embarrassed, she didn’t buy too many, carefully putting them in a bag for her.

The students in the class would always tease them when this happened. The fact that they were dating was no longer a novelty; initially, some people hadn’t thought they would last. But Xu Wuhuan’s gentleness and indulgence, combined with Zhong Yan’s cuteness and obedience, surprisingly made them a good match. The two were showing public displays of affection every day, and the class had consumed pounds of “dog food.”

Zhong Yan would always blush, but Xu Wuhuan was completely open about it, consistently sending flowers and various gifts.

Zhong Yan reveled in Xu Wuhuan’s increasingly open indulgence. Her love for Xu Wuhuan grew rapidly every day. She was immersed in the sweetness of the relationship, her clinginess reaching a new level—she wanted to stick to Xu Wuhuan all day long.

Xu Wuhuan loved to kiss her and would kiss her at any unintentional moment. Sometimes on the hand, or the earlobe, or the eyelid.

Zhong Yan enjoyed it. The more Xu Wuhuan spoiled her, the more inseparable she seemed to become from her.

No one had ever been so good to her. She lacked a sense of security, and Xu Wuhuan gave her everything she possibly could. She felt cherished and utterly consumed in their love.