After The Cannon Fodder Died, She Became The Female Lead’s White Moonlight (GL) - Chapter 20

Shen Sijin had a dream.

In the dream was Che Gulai’s exquisite and dazzling face. Her beautiful phoenix eyes were moist and hazy, like a misty lake after the rain, touched with a moonlit desire.

She sat by the window in the dark night. Her delicate collarbones were visible, wearing a wine-red silk pajama set. Her skin was fair. She was looking up, her head held by someone’s hand, kissing intensely.

Her dark, seaweed-like long hair was spread messily over her pale back. The woman who was usually cold and dominant was now submerged in desire, her entire face luscious and gorgeous, the most beautiful it could be.

Shen Sijin wanted to see clearly who the person kissing her was.

The dream zoomed in, and she saw that the person kissing Che Gulai was herself!!

Shen Sijin suddenly woke up from the dream. She covered her chest, slowly regulating her breathing.

Oh my god.

What kind of dream was that?

Why would I dream of kissing Che Gulai?!

I must be crazy.

A girl dreaming of kissing another girl.

Remembering the dream, Shen Sijin’s face was burning hot, and her ears felt warm.

She covered her face, shyly biting her lip, uncontrollably recalling the dream.

Could Che Gulai really make that expression?

How can she be so beautiful?

I want to see it again.

Shen Sijin’s heart was pounding incessantly. It felt like a green grape vine had been planted in her heart, and now its branches were densely spread, occupying her entire heart, filled with the sweet-and-sour astringency of unripe fruit.

The moonlight spilled outside, illuminating Shen Sijin’s face, making it blush even more deeply.

She couldn’t sleep all night.

Bai Mingyu saw her face and asked, “Why are your dark circles so heavy?”

“Are they?” Shen Sijin instinctively touched her eyes.

“Yes, they are.” Bai Mingyu looked in the mirror while tying her hair. “What were you doing last night?”

“Nothing, really,” Shen Sijin replied vaguely.

Over the next few days, Shen Sijin would inexplicably think of Che Gulai, even unexpectedly during lab experiments.

“Sijin, be careful.” A group member kindly reminded her.

“I’m sorry,” Shen Sijin said, feeling very embarrassed.

“It’s okay. Just be careful and try not to get distracted.”

When she didn’t have class, she often read their chat history, flipping through it repeatedly, not even sure what she was looking at. She also frequently checked online for news about her. Che Gulai’s company artists were all quite popular recently. Netizens had followed the artists to the company, and then followed the trail to Che Gulai herself.

Che Gulai was stunningly beautiful and captivating, matching her artists in looks, and even having more charisma. Netizens were obsessed with her beauty and dominant aura, giving her a certain level of recognition.

Shen Sijin saved many of the beautiful photos of Che Gulai she found.

She didn’t know why she kept thinking about Che Gulai.

She couldn’t control it at all.

“Che Gulai?” Bai Mingyu read the three words, asking curiously, “Who is that?”

Shen Sijin snapped out of her thoughts. Seeing the paper covered with the dense writing of “Che Gulai,” she quickly covered it with her arm as if hiding something.

“Why are you peeking?” Shen Sijin said, her face flushed.

“I wasn’t, honestly.” Bai Mingyu sat on her desk and teased her. “I called you several times, and you didn’t answer. You were just constantly writing. I only glanced unintentionally.”

Shen Sijin was speechless.

“Who is this person?” Bai Mingyu smiled slyly. “Is it someone you like?”

“Like?” Shen Sijin murmured, looking up, her eyes moist like a fawn’s. “Do you think I like her?”

Bai Mingyu playfully rubbed her head. “How would I know? I only know that you only write someone’s name all over a piece of paper if you like them.”

Shen Sijin was dazed. Bai Mingyu’s words were like a sudden enlightenment.

Her unusual emotions these past few days seemed to have an answer.

Why did she keep thinking about Che Gulai? Why did she dream of her? And why did she write her name all over the paper?

All the details led to one clear result.

Did she… like Che Gulai?

Is this what it feels like to like someone?

She liked Che Gulai.

But Che Gulai was a girl, just like her.

“Hey, are you going crazy?” Bai Mingyu waved her hand in front of her. “What are you thinking about?”

Shen Sijin suddenly grabbed her hand. “If I like someone, what should I do?”

“What do you mean, ‘what should I do’?” Bai Mingyu was confused. “Go after her.”

She smiled conspiratorially. “Our Xiao Jin has a crush! Is it this person called Che Gulai?”

Shen Sijin pursed her lips and nodded shyly.

Bai Mingyu burst out laughing, jumped off the desk, and hooked her arm around Shen Sijin’s neck. “Then go chase her! Our Xiao Jin is so cute and well-behaved, you’ll definitely get her.”

“Ah,” Shen Sijin said anxiously, whispering, “Is that really okay?”

We are both girls.

She didn’t say the last sentence out loud.

“Of course, it is,” Bai Mingyu pinched her fair, baby-faced cheek. “Bring the handsome guy to meet me someday. I’ll help you chase her.”

“Wait, why does that name sound like a woman’s name? I think I’ve heard it somewhere,” Bai Mingyu mumbled to herself, frowning.

Since realizing she liked Che Gulai, Shen Sijin would inexplicably blush every time she saw information about Che Gulai.

Even chatting was like this.

Che Gulai looked at the “Opponent is typing…” text on the chat box and frowned.

What is Shen Sijin up to?

The message still hadn’t come through after a long time.

She had suddenly sent a message saying, “Do you have,” and then stopped. The incomplete sentence made no sense, and Che Gulai had no idea what she was trying to convey.

Che Gulai couldn’t be bothered with this kind of immature message and put down her phone.

After more than ten minutes, her phone finally rang. Shen Sijin had finally bothered to finish her sentence.

$$Do you have a boyfriend?$$

It was followed by a cautious cat emoji.

Che Gulai assumed she was just chatting nonsense, which she often did, sending pointless, boring messages.

Like, “I love cherry tomatoes, but the fruit seller insisted I buy cherries.”

“I saw a blue butterfly by the roadside today. It was beautiful.”

“I got scolded in the lab. Chemical liquid spilled on my hand and I can’t wash it off.”

…

They were all boring things. Che Gulai was speechless and only replied with an “Mhm” or “Oh” every time.

She replied to her indifferently, as usual.

$$No.$$

The chat box displayed “Opponent is typing…” again.

And again, the message was slow to arrive.

$$I knew it$$

Shen Sijin replied.

Knew what?

Che Gulai didn’t understand.

Bai Yu walked in, unable to hide his excitement. “I heard Zhou Zi’s funds have been really tight lately. He’s busy dealing with lawsuits, and the entire company is a mess.”

Che Gulai forced a smile. “We can close the net soon.”

Bai Yu leaned against the desk, gloating. “You haven’t seen what he looks like recently. He’s looking very worn out.”

“Hey, I’m taking my sister out to lunch today. You should come too.”

“What would I do there?”

Bai Yu: “Just meet her. Didn’t she used to bother you to buy her food? Get to know each other. And you can teach her a lesson, so she stops messing around all the time.”

Bai Yu had a rebellious younger sister. When she was in high school, she used to run to their office to find Bai Yu. She saw Che Gulai alone in the company, and being thick-skinned, she pestered her to buy her something delicious.

Che Gulai was just starting her business then and didn’t have much money, but out of consideration for her being Bai Yu’s sister, she splurged and treated her to a luxurious French meal.

Bai Yu found out afterward and scolded the girl, but the girl was shameless and gave Che Gulai a playful smile.

The two hadn’t seen each other since.

Che Gulai finally agreed.

It was Friday. Shen Sijin had just finished her lab experiment and was taking off her lab coat when Bai Mingyu came looking for her.

“Xiao Jin, come have lunch with me.”

“But I need to go home,” Shen Sijin said hesitantly.

“Xiao Jin, please help me out,” Bai Mingyu clasped her hands together. “My brother wants me to meet his partner. It’ll be boring by myself. Please keep me company.”

Shen Sijin was conflicted.

“Please, my dear.”

Shen Sijin was soft-hearted and couldn’t resist a plea.

“You… you shouldn’t call me that,” Shen Sijin whispered. “Can I come?”

“Of course! I told my brother, and he doesn’t mind.”

“Alright.”

“Thank you, Xiao Jin!”

Bai Mingyu led Shen Sijin to an upscale restaurant. “Wait a moment. I forgot to ask my brother which room he’s in.”

Bai Mingyu stepped aside to make a phone call.

Shen Sijin looked boredly at the fancy decor around her. She suddenly saw something, and her pupils widened slightly.

She thought she saw Che Gulai.

It must be an illusion.

How could it be such a coincidence?

She patted her own face.

I must be going crazy thinking about Che Gulai.

Bai Mingyu walked back. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Um, I’m a little embarrassed,” Shen Sijin said awkwardly. “I’m scared.”

“Oh, don’t be scared,” Bai Mingyu pulled her arm. “My brother has been telling me to make some respectable friends. You’re so well-behaved. My brother will definitely be very pleased.”

Saying that, she pushed the door open.

“Brother, I’m here,” Bai Mingyu pulled Shen Sijin in. “This is my friend, Shen Sijin.”

Bai Yu looked up from his phone. “You’re so slow—”

He suddenly stopped talking.

Shen Sijin?

His sister’s friend is actually Shen Sijin?!

Bai Yu’s impression of Shen Sijin was entirely based on her feud with Che Gulai.

Damn it, Che Gulai is here too.

Just then, the door opened. Che Gulai walked in, looking down and shaking her hands.

Shen Sijin turned her head.

“Che Gulai?” Shen Sijin was pleasantly surprised.

Che Gulai heard the familiar voice and looked up. “Shen Sijin? What are you doing here?”

“I came with a friend,” Shen Sijin was delighted to see her, wagging her tail like a happy puppy.

“Friend?” Che Gulai looked at Bai Mingyu, then at Bai Yu’s helpless face.

Bai Mingyu hadn’t had time to ask Shen Sijin how she knew her brother’s partner, as her attention was completely captivated by the name Che Gulai.

Isn’t that the name of Xiao Jin’s crush?!

Why is she a woman?!

Bai Mingyu’s jaw dropped, and she couldn’t close it.

Is Xiao Jin a lesbian?

Holy cow.

Bai Mingyu felt her worldview needed to be completely rebuilt.

The four of them were in an awkward, strange standoff.

Finally, Bai Yu spoke up. “Everyone sit down. Stop standing.”

Che Gulai sat down first. Shen Sijin sat down on her left without thinking. Bai Mingyu sat next to Shen Sijin.

“Mingyu, this is your Sister Gulai. She bought you dinner before,” Bai Yu introduced her.

“S-sister Gulai, hello,” Bai Mingyu wasn’t sure how to face Che Gulai, considering she was the woman Xiao Jin liked.

Che Gulai nodded. “Hello.”

“Sister Gulai, you and Xiao Jin know each other?” Bai Mingyu asked curiously.

Che Gulai was drinking water and hadn’t spoken yet. Shen Sijin answered first. “We are friends.”

Bai Yu spat out a mouthful of water.

“Brother, what are you doing? You almost sprayed me!” Bai Mingyu complained.

“Sorry,” Bai Yu was just startled. Shen Sijin and Che Gulai wanted each other dead. Where did this “friendship” come from?

How dare Shen Sijin say that?

He was curious about Che Gulai’s reaction. Strangely, Che Gulai continued to drink her water slowly, her expression calm, seemingly acquiescing to the statement.

Bai Yu was confused again.

Che Gulai was deeply private. He had worked with her for years and still hadn’t fully figured out her mind.

Including now. He couldn’t guess her intention.

“Friends?” Bai Mingyu twitched her mouth.

The four ate in silence. Bai Yu and Bai Mingyu were both so shocked that they were lost in their own thoughts.

Shen Sijin kept serving food to Che Gulai, always picking out the dishes Che Gulai liked.

Che Gulai looked at the full bowl of food and was quite surprised that Shen Sijin knew her preferences. She didn’t say anything and continued to eat.

“Che Gulai, thank you for taking my grandmother to the hospital last time,” Shen Sijin whispered.

“Mhm,” Che Gulai’s attitude was cold. She didn’t lift her eyes. “Bai Yu helped too.”

Shen Sijin understood. She nodded sincerely to Bai Yu. “Thank you too.”

“Uh, it was nothing,” Bai Yu forced a stiff smile.

Honestly, his impression of Shen Sijin wasn’t great, and her apology made him feel awkward.

Shen Sijin had already turned back to talk to Che Gulai. “Have you been very busy these past few days?”

Che Gulai: “Why?”

“You look a little thinner,” Shen Sijin tilted her head, speaking softly and gently. “Haven’t you been eating properly?”

“No time.”

“Then do you want me to cook for you in the future?” Shen Sijin’s eyes were bright. “I’ll bring it to you.”

“No need.”

“Why?”

“It’s inedible.”

Shen Sijin looked disappointed. “I’ll study hard, though.”

“Why are you so talkative?” Che Gulai put down her chopsticks and asked, puzzled. “Can’t you just eat quietly?”

“I…” Shen Sijin got stuck.

Bai Mingyu bit her chopsticks, watching the two of them.

“Sister Gulai,” Bai Mingyu suddenly spoke up. For the sake of her best friend’s potential relationship, even though she didn’t understand it, she had to be supportive.

“Xiao Jin cares about you a lot,” she hinted meaningfully. “She talks about you all the time.”

“Is that so?” Che Gulai lowered her eyes, not looking particularly interested.

“Yes, it is,” Bai Mingyu rested her chin on her hand and winked at Shen Sijin. “She even writes—Hmmph.”

Before she could finish, Shen Sijin abruptly covered her mouth.

Che Gulai and Bai Yu both looked at them.

“She’s talking nonsense,” Shen Sijin forced a fake smile.

“Mingyu, what are you doing?” Bai Yu asked her.

Bai Mingyu caught her breath. “Nothing…”

She secretly pulled Shen Sijin’s sleeve and whispered through gritted teeth, “What are you doing? Don’t you like her? I was trying to help you.”

Shen Sijin, her back to Che Gulai, also whispered, “I’m too embarrassed. Isn’t it too soon?”

“Too soon, my butt,” Bai Mingyu said, furious at her lack of progress. “How long are you going to procrastinate? If you like her, go for it!”

Shen Sijin still looked very awkward.

“Xiao Jin, Sister Gulai clearly has many people chasing her. It doesn’t matter if she likes men or women. If you like her, you have to tell her. What if she likes you too?”

Bai Mingyu was direct and didn’t like beating around the bush. She was using her life philosophy to coach the inherently timid Shen Sijin, almost making Shen Sijin’s expression collapse.

“R-really?” Shen Sijin had never dated before and didn’t know how to go about liking someone. In this aspect, she was a blank slate.

“Of course,” Bai Mingyu whispered. “Don’t live with regrets.”

Bai Mingyu was unaware of the history between Shen Sijin and Che Gulai. She was just trying to help Shen Sijin as a friend.

And in Bai Mingyu’s later life, one of her biggest regrets would be encouraging Shen Sijin to pursue Che Gulai.

The rest of the meal was quiet. The four finished eating quickly, and Bai Yu took Bai Mingyu and left first.

“Good luck,” Bai Mingyu encouraged Shen Sijin in sign language before leaving.

Now, only Che Gulai and Shen Sijin remained.

Shen Sijin was inexplicably nervous. She knew she liked Che Gulai, and she felt that Che Gulai didn’t dislike her.

As long as she doesn’t dislike me, anything is possible.

“Che Gulai,” Shen Sijin was secretly pinching her palm out of nervousness.

“Mhm.” Che Gulai was standing by the street waiting for her driver.

“Next Sunday, there’s a butterfly specimen exhibition downtown. Do you want to go?”

Heaven knew how shy she felt just asking that question.

Che Gulai was looking down at her phone. She looked up at the question, confused. “With whom? You?”

Shen Sijin nodded rapidly.

Her hair had grown a bit longer. Today, she wore a cream-yellow duffle coat over a white long dress. Her hair was wavy, and her eyes were round. She looked like a charming, cute doll.

She looked at Che Gulai with those expectant eyes, sparkling like glass beads in the sun.

Sometimes, Che Gulai would have the absurd thought that the person in front of her wasn’t Shen Sijin.

The difference was simply too great.

Two different people: gloom and innocence.

“Can we go?” Shen Sijin asked again.

“I’m very busy,” Che Gulai instinctively refused.

Shen Sijin quickly said, “It won’t take up much of your time. It will be over quickly.”

“Think of it as repayment for you helping take my grandmother to the hospital. Don’t refuse me, okay?” She spoke again in that pleading, slightly whiny tone.

Che Gulai irritably ran her fingers through her hair. She was annoyed by Shen Sijin’s innocent and simple look. Every time she saw Shen Sijin’s lake-like eyes, it stirred a strange feeling within her.

Disgust, resentment, revulsion, and seemingly some other strange emotion, but she couldn’t name it.

In short, all the emotions combined into a complex, indescribable irritation, which could be taken as a desire to distance herself. She absolutely did not want to see the owner of those eyes.

“We’ll see,” Che Gulai said coldly.

Not an outright refusal means there’s still a chance.

Shen Sijin smiled. “Then I’ll see you next Sunday.”

“When did I agree?”

“Just agree to me, Che Gulai.” Shen Sijin had already turned her back to go home. Hearing her words, she turned back and forced a wide smile.

“I have something very important to tell you.” She waved at Che Gulai, saying with a smile, “Bye-bye.”

In the spring sunlight of March, the girl stood at the street corner. Behind her was the busy traffic. She passed a flower shop, her white dress brushing against the Lisianthus flowers. The sunlight fell on her clothes, and her smile was radiant, like an elf on the chaotic street corner.

She couldn’t be more dazzling.

---

Author’s Note:

This piece was written when my mental state was at its most unstable. I’m truly sorry. I promise to update daily in the future [clenched fist].

Thank you for reading 😀