After The Cannon Fodder Died, She Became The Female Lead’s White Moonlight (GL) - Chapter 24

Since Shen Sijin started dating Che Gulai, she continued to make her desserts as usual.

When she didn’t have classes, she often went to help out at Bai Mingyu’s dessert shop. Bai Mingyu’s family had given her a dessert shop, hoping to make her settle down.

Thanks to Bai Mingyu’s shop, Shen Sijin could learn to make desserts while working.

Bai Mingyu said to her, “You don’t get tired of it, making her desserts every few days.”

Shen Sijin was whipping cream. She smiled sweetly at the remark. “What’s tiring about making desserts for the person I like? Besides, she likes them.”

Bai Mingyu tutted. “When will I ever get a partner as considerate as you?”

Shen Sijin lowered her head, smiling shyly.

She finished making the mousse and delivered it to her company downstairs as usual. Che Gulai was very busy and had previously warned her not to come to the office unless necessary. To avoid disturbing her, Shen Sijin thoughtfully left the delivery downstairs, asking someone else to send it up to Che Gulai.

Sometimes Shen Sijin felt their relationship wasn’t particularly intimate. Why else would Che Gulai always be reluctant to see her? She wanted so much to spend time with Che Gulai.

Was it because she was too busy?

Shen Sijin returned to school and messaged her.

[Gulai, how was the strawberry mousse today?] Class hadn’t started yet. Shen Sijin sat at her desk, typing.

Che Gulai just finished a meeting and picked up her phone, seeing Shen Sijin’s message.

She always threw Shen Sijin’s desserts into the cabinet without opening them. She replied carelessly.

[The taste is good. The strawberries are very sweet.]

Shortly after sending it, Shen Sijin suddenly remembered that she hadn’t made strawberry mousse today. She had planned to make strawberry mousse but found the strawberries weren’t fresh, so she switched to blueberry.

She hadn’t realized it immediately, but noticed after the fact. She wanted to quickly correct herself, but then she saw Che Gulai’s message.

Her movement abruptly froze, and her expression became confused.

What did Che Gulai mean?

There were definitely no strawberries in the dessert today.

Since she said the taste was good, it meant she must have tasted it. So why that answer?

How strange.

It was as if she hadn’t tasted it at all, merely giving a perfunctory reply.

Shen Sijin’s slender eyelashes trembled slightly. She blinked repeatedly, completely bewildered, like a white rabbit at a loss.

She clutched her phone, staring intently at Che Gulai’s message, her hands frozen above the keyboard.

She didn’t know what to type.

She really wanted to send, “There were no strawberries today.” But she was also inexplicably afraid that Che Gulai’s reply would be a disappointing answer.

The professor soon arrived. Shen Sijin turned off her phone and didn’t look at it again.

Che Gulai, as usual, wanted to see what Shen Sijin had replied, but several hours passed, and Shen Sijin hadn’t sent a single message.

That was odd. Normally, as long as she replied once, Shen Sijin would excitedly reply ten times.

Che Gulai didn’t pay it any mind. She knew how much Shen Sijin liked her. She figured Shen Sijin was probably busy with something else.

It was nice when it was quiet, too. Her constant chattering was quite annoying.

Che Gulai quickly put the matter out of her mind. She was very happy lately. Zhou Zi’s company’s cash flow was broken, and all his other projects had fallen apart. He was now on the verge of bankruptcy. Even worse, his company was under investigation for tax evasion, fraud, and illegal fundraising. It was safe to say that Zhou Zi’s latter half of life was over.

Che Gulai couldn’t wait to see his miserable state.

The news of Zhou Zi’s imprisonment was rampant online, even reaching Shen Sijin, who rarely surfed the internet.

Gulai must be very happy.

Shen Sijin thought, staring at Zhou Zi’s weathered face on her phone.

Suddenly, Zhou Zi’s words to her that day echoed in Shen Sijin’s mind.

She shook her head, not understanding why she suddenly remembered his words. They were clearly slander against Che Gulai. There was no need to believe them.

Her phone chimed.

[Ice Block Miss: Where are you.]

Shen Sijin was working on a PowerPoint presentation. Her recent lab report needed to be presented, and since she was in a group of one, she had a lot to do.

After finally finishing, she checked her work on the computer and took a moment to reply.

[Dorm.]

[Come out. I’m at your school entrance.]

Shen Sijin shot up from her seat.

“Shen Sijin, be quiet.” Her roommate, who was taking a nap, complained.

“I’m sorry,” Shen Sijin apologized.

She looked at the message, doubting her own eyes.

Since the day Che Gulai gave that strange answer, Shen Sijin hadn’t messaged her much. Shen Sijin didn’t know what to message her. Although the incident was small, a sensitive person like her had already run through ten thousand pessimistic possibilities in her mind. In her overly pessimistic state, she no longer felt like chatting with her.

It had always been Shen Sijin who initiated contact. Che Gulai rarely reached out to her first.

Therefore, Che Gulai’s every initiative surprised her.

At the same time, a surge of joy filled her heart.

Even though that incident had left a dark mark in her mind, she liked Che Gulai too much. She could silently ignore that bit of grayness.

Shen Sijin quickly tidied herself up and ran into Bai Mingyu, who was returning to the dorm.

“Where are you rushing off to?”

Shen Sijin winked at her. “To see the person I like.”

Shen Sijin ran the entire way, arriving at the entrance breathless.

Seeing Che Gulai’s car, she tapped on the car window.

The window slid down. Che Gulai’s face appeared. “Get in.”

“Okay.” Shen Sijin got into the car.

“Are we going somewhere?” Shen Sijin asked curiously.

Che Gulai was terse. “Dinner.”

She was in a very good mood today. The man she hated was finally suffering. It couldn’t be more satisfying. As she drove past Che Gulai’s school, she made a rare humanitarian gesture. Recalling her previous coldness, she decided to give her a bit of sweetness.

After all, she had agreed to Shen Sijin’s confession, even if her motives weren’t pure. She couldn’t be too perfunctory, or Shen Sijin might back out, which wouldn’t be good.

“Why are you smiling like an idiot?” Che Gulai saw Shen Sijin smiling in the rearview mirror and asked.

“This is the first time you’ve proactively asked me out for dinner,” Shen Sijin’s pale face was very expressive.

“Is that so?” Che Gulai drove on, replying casually. After a few seconds, she genuinely tried to recall her past behavior, but the memory of their interactions was vague. She gave up on trying to remember.

“Yes, it is,” Shen Sijin said naturally. “So it’s quite a surprise.”

Che Gulai subtly curved her lips, her eyes emotionless. She didn’t say anything.

So easily satisfied.

She made an internal comment about Shen Sijin.

Che Gulai took her to a Japanese restaurant and requested a private room.

The server came with the menu. “What would you like?”

Che Gulai gestured to Shen Sijin with her chin. “You order.”

“Ah, me?”

“Mhm.”

Shen Sijin took the menu. Her appetite had always been poor, and she wasn’t very interested in food, so she ordered a few random items.

Her eyes suddenly spotted “Couple’s Set Meal” in the corner. She asked curiously, “What is the Couple’s Set Meal?”

The server smiled. “It’s a special offer designed by our restaurant for couples. Only for couples.”

Shen Sijin’s eyes lit up. “We are a couple.”

The server’s expression stiffened for a moment. “What?”

“She’s joking,” Che Gulai interjected coldly. “We’re not a couple.”

Shen Sijin looked at Che Gulai with confusion. Che Gulai pretended not to notice, looking calmly at her phone.

The server smiled. “Alright, then we’ll prepare the dishes you just ordered, is that okay, Miss?”

The server looked at Shen Sijin. Seeing her look dazed, she prompted her. “Ma’am?”

“Oh, yes, okay.” Shen Sijin came back to herself. “Please prepare what I ordered.”

After the server left, Shen Sijin rubbed the cup, lowering her eyes as she asked, “Gulai, why did you… deny our relationship just now?”

Che Gulai looked up and glanced at her. “Do you think our relationship is normal?”

Shen Sijin tilted her head, confused.

“Our relationship is not accepted,” Che Gulai said slowly. “I’m semi-public figure. I can’t have news break that I’m dating a woman. Can you understand that?”

This was one reason. There was another reason she didn’t mention—she was intrinsically repulsed by the idea of sharing that kind of relationship with Shen Sijin.

If it weren’t for the sake of getting closer to her and manipulating her, she would never have accepted a woman’s confession.

“Is that so?” Shen Sijin was half-convinced, starting to doubt herself.

“Of course.” Che Gulai crossed her arms, meeting her gaze directly. “You understand, don’t you?”

Shen Sijin thought about it. What she said seemed reasonable.

Homosexuality wasn’t socially accepted, especially since Che Gulai was a public figure. If their relationship was discovered, it would probably negatively affect her.

Although it was rational, this kind of underground relationship still made Shen Sijin feel vaguely wronged.

But she was very obedient. Even if she felt wronged, she could understand Che Gulai and didn’t complain unhappily.

“That makes sense,” Shen Sijin smiled.

The server brought out the food. Shen Sijin suddenly stopped her. “Hello, excuse me. Do you have a dessert called Snowflake Crisp here?”

The server smiled. “Yes, we have a specialized dessert menu.”

“Then please bring me some. Thank you.”

The server quickly brought the dessert. Shen Sijin placed the Snowflake Crisps in front of Che Gulai.

“Don’t you love Snowflake Crisps?” Shen Sijin was like a child seeking praise. “I ordered them especially for you. Eat more.”

Che Gulai looked at the full box of Snowflake Crisps and fell silent.

She didn’t actually like sweets. She had only mentioned liking Snowflake Crisps casually to make things difficult for Shen Sijin.

She hadn’t expected Shen Sijin to remember her words so clearly.

Che Gulai felt extremely complicated. She looked at the Snowflake Crisps, then at Shen Sijin’s clear eyes, and felt a headache coming on.

She needed to find an excuse to refuse.

“Don’t you want to eat them?” Shen Sijin asked kindly. “I’ve made them for you before. Are you tired of them?”

Che Gulai hadn’t eaten any of them, so how could she be tired of them?

“No, I’ll eat them later.” Che Gulai looked at the pile of Snowflake Crisps, her headache intensifying. “Let’s eat the other things first.”

Shen Sijin hummed. “Okay.”

Her thoughts drifted far away.

She had never actually made Snowflake Crisps for Che Gulai before, because her Snowflake Crisps weren’t very good, while her other desserts were fine. So she usually didn’t make Snowflake Crisps for her.

But Che Gulai didn’t seem to notice anything wrong. Did she forget, or…

Shen Sijin ate the sushi without tasting it.

The two were used to eating in silence. After finishing the meal, Che Gulai remembered that Sang He’s new movie was currently showing.

Sang He had repeatedly urged her to go see her movie, but Che Gulai had been too busy until now.

Since it was still early, she might as well go see it.

“Want to see a movie?” Che Gulai asked Shen Sijin, looking at her phone.

“Sure,” Shen Sijin’s mind was preoccupied, so she subconsciously didn’t refuse.

Only after they entered the cinema did she pull Che Gulai’s sleeve and whisper, “Gulai, are we on a… date today?”

The last two words were spoken softly and nervously.

Che Gulai paused. She hadn’t thought of it that way, but if Shen Sijin wanted to believe it, she would let her.

“Mhm.”

Shen Sijin smiled, her mood instantly becoming cheerful again.

Her emotions were easily controlled by Che Gulai. Just a single word from her could instantly pull her out of the tide of negativity.

It was a thriller film, starring Sang He.

Shen Sijin realized that the female lead was the same girl who had been surrounded at school the other day.

It was the weekend, and the cinema was quite crowded, mostly with couples. Shen Sijin and Che Gulai were surrounded by them.

As the scary scenes appeared, screams erupted everywhere. Some frightened people buried themselves in their partner’s arms.

Shen Sijin was terrified of thrillers, and her expression was rigid.

A couple next to them had a boyfriend who seemed terrified of ghosts and monsters, constantly burying himself in his girlfriend’s arms. The girlfriend was quite brave, stroking his head and whispering to comfort him.

“Sweetheart, don’t be scared. The ghost is gone. Look up now.”

“No, I’m still scared.” The boyfriend was still terrified, refusing to move from his girlfriend’s arms.

Shen Sijin seriously suspected the boyfriend was faking it.

But looking at her distance from Che Gulai, she felt envious of the couple.

Why didn’t she and Che Gulai feel like a couple at all?

Shen Sijin felt she had to seize this rare opportunity.

She whispered into Che Gulai’s ear, “Gulai, are you scared?”

How could Che Gulai be scared? “No.”

“Aren’t you even nervous?”

“There’s nothing to be nervous about.”

Shen Sijin was disheartened. Che Gulai never followed the expected script.

“Are you scared?” Che Gulai asked.

“Of course not.” Shen Sijin pretended to be calm, but the next moment, a female ghost suddenly appeared on the screen, and Shen Sijin couldn’t help but let out a small shriek.

Che Gulai laughed mockingly.

Shen Sijin was incredibly embarrassed. She had planned to imitate the couple—if Che Gulai were scared, she could let her bury herself in her arms.

But instead, Che Gulai wasn’t scared; she was the one who was terrified.

“Close your eyes if you’re scared,” Che Gulai said flatly, looking at the screen.

Shen Sijin genuinely didn’t dare to watch the thriller. She watched the entire film with one eye open and one eye closed. The movie was quite long, and Shen Sijin spent most of it with her eyes closed, eventually dozing off.

She tentatively leaned against Che Gulai’s shoulder.

Che Gulai’s first instinct was to pull away, but she felt that such obvious rejection might make Shen Sijin, that fool, suspect something. She suppressed her inner discomfort and let her lean on her.

Shen Sijin saw that she didn’t push her away and was secretly delighted. All her previous unhappy emotions dissolved. Her body relaxed completely. Like a wet little rabbit resting safely in its burrow, she slowly fell asleep.

Shen Sijin’s slightly plump cheek rested on Che Gulai’s shoulder. She seemed to be asleep, her breathing very light.

Che Gulai tilted her head to glance at her. In the dim light, the girl’s face was sweet and peaceful. Her long eyelashes lay flat on her eyelids, casting a small shadow. Her full lips were slightly pouting.

A little bit cute.

Che Gulai thought calmly.

Realizing what she had just thought, she was hit by a wave of self-disgust.

I’m crazy.

Why would I find a psycho cute?

Che Gulai stopped looking at her and focused on the movie.

When the movie finished, Che Gulai gently patted her face. “Wake up.”

Shen Sijin woke up groggily. “Is the movie over?”

“Mhm.” Che Gulai rubbed her sore shoulder, her expression one of disgust. “If you’re so scared, don’t force yourself next time.”

Shen Sijin smiled sweetly. “But it’s a date! And how could I be scared when you’re by my side?”

She tilted her head as she spoke, looking playful and adorable.

Che Gulai sneered. “Easy for you to say. Didn’t you sleep through the whole thing?”

Shen Sijin felt that her current coldness was just her trying to hide her true feelings. She put her hands behind her back, leaned closer, and said in a soft, coaxing tone, “If you weren’t next to me, I wouldn’t be able to sleep.”

Che Gulai couldn’t be bothered to argue with her. She had been overly indulgent with Shen Sijin today.

She walked forward. Shen Sijin followed her. “Wait for me.”

It was already dark when they finished the movie.

Che Gulai said to her, “Wait here for me. I’ll go get the car.”

“Okay.”

The wind outside was strong. The weather had turned warm, so Shen Sijin was only wearing a thin hoodie. The wind whistled and poured down her collar. Shen Sijin shivered a few times from the cold.

Che Gulai had just driven her car out of the underground parking lot when Sang He called.

“Sang He, what is it?”

“Sister Gulai—” Sang He drew out her voice. “Where are you? I want to go home.”

Che Gulai frowned. “Why is it so loud where you are?”

Sang He’s assistant took the phone. “Ms. Che, Ms. Sang is drunk at the wrap party. She keeps asking where you are.”

“If she’s drunk, why isn’t she going home?”

The assistant said awkwardly, “Ms. Sang insists that you have to be the one to pick her up, or she won’t leave.”

Che Gulai was silent for a second. “Understood. Send me the location.”

Che Gulai drove a few steps, remembering Shen Sijin was still waiting. She took out her phone and sent her a message.

Shen Sijin’s phone received the message: [I have an urgent matter. Go home by yourself.]

She stared at the few cold words, and the warmth in her heart, which had been so easily ignited, turned to ice again.

She desperately wanted to say that today was their date. What could be more important than your girlfriend?

How could she just leave suddenly? How could she do this?

Shen Sijin crouched down. The wind outside was too strong. Shen Sijin’s hoodie was a little big, not tight enough on her thin body, and the wind kept blowing inside.

Her body was getting cold, and her heart couldn’t warm up.

Pat-a-pat.

Accompanying the strong wind, rain began to fall.

The rain came down fiercely, combined with the wind, blowing straight toward Shen Sijin.

Although the cinema was exquisitely decorated, its location was very remote. There were few shops nearby, and the cinema was a bit far. If she rushed out now, she would definitely get soaked.

Shen Sijin tried her best to hide further inside, but the rain quickly started to drift in.

Looking at the scattering raindrops, Shen Sijin couldn’t help but remember her past nightmares.

She truly hated the rain.

More than hate, it was fear.

She was born on a rainy day. Her father had died in a car accident because of poor visibility from the rain.

Afterward, her mother would go crazy on every rainy day, beating her severely, and then throwing her outside.

She hated rainy days, hated the beatings on rainy days, and the cold from the rain.

Couples huddled under the same coat, running happily and sweetly in the rain.

Meanwhile, Shen Sijin stood in the corner, shivering all over, her eyes scared and empty.

The sound of the rain merged with other sharp female screams in her ears. The high-pitched female voice screamed frantically, calling her name and telling her to die.

That was her mother’s voice.

This sound hadn’t appeared for some time. Its return still terrified Shen Sijin immensely.

She covered her ears, crouching in the corner, trembling like a piece of paper being ravaged by the wind.

She didn’t know if she felt cold or fear anymore.

It was too painful. She couldn’t feel anything now.

Too noisy.

Too noisy.

Why hasn’t the rain stopped?

Why am I alone?

Shen Sijin felt only profound loneliness at this moment.

The sound of a child crying emerged in her ears again.

The sound felt like her childhood self, battered and thrown out in the rain, kneeling on the ground, crying and begging her mother to let her in.

Mom would never agree.

The child kept crying, desperately hoping someone would hold an umbrella and shield her from the rain.

Stop crying.

Shen Sijin thought dully.

Don’t cry.

Crying is useless.

But the crying continued.

Stop crying, stop crying.

Shen Sijin couldn’t distinguish whose crying it was anymore.

Rainy days are so scary.

Being alone is also so scary.

Why is no one with me?

Am I someone who can be simply abandoned?

Shen Sijin was trapped in her nightmare, unable to perceive the pain of reality.

She didn’t notice a figure appearing in front of her.

“Shen Sijin!” Che Gulai stood over her, holding an umbrella to shield her from the rain.

She was halfway to Sang He’s location when a sudden heavy rain started. She had initially planned to go straight to Sang He, but for some reason, she suddenly thought of Shen Sijin, that fool.

Shen Sijin didn’t have an umbrella. The rain was so heavy; she would definitely get soaked.

But soaking or not, what did it have to do with her? Shen Sijin was, after all, someone she was about to take revenge on.

Insignificant.

Che Gulai couldn’t be bothered with her life or death. She drove a little further, but the rain got heavier and heavier. Che Gulai could barely see the road.

Che Gulai was annoyed. She didn’t want to care about Shen Sijin’s well-being, but she felt it was somewhat immoral to completely abandon her. After all, she was the one who brought her here. To just leave her in the rain felt a bit excessive, even for her.

Forget it. I can’t drive to Sang He’s place in this heavy rain anyway.

Che Gulai thought.

She turned the car around.

And then, from a distance, she saw Shen Sijin crouched on the ground, curled up in a ball, like a homeless kitten caught in the rain.

She grabbed an umbrella and walked up to Shen Sijin, calling her name, but got no response.

Che Gulai also crouched down, raising her voice to call her again. “Shen Sijin!”

The familiar voice broke through Shen Sijin’s tinnitus. She slowly raised her head, stared at her blankly for several seconds, and then questioned her with a deep, empty voice.

“Che Gulai.”

“Mhm.”

“Why did you abandon me?”

Shen Sijin’s eyes were vacant, empty like a bottomless dry well.

“Didn’t I come back?” Che Gulai avoided the question, giving a stiff, defensive answer.

“Don’t you like me?” Shen Sijin’s entire body was still limp. “Why did you suddenly leave me?”

“Am I dispensable?” Shen Sijin covered her head, crying out in pain.

Che Gulai hadn’t expected her to react so strongly. “Don’t overthink it. Let’s go back.”

“Go where?”

“Home.”

That word seemed to calm her. Shen Sijin obediently followed her into the car.

As soon as she got into the car, Shen Sijin wrapped her arms around her.

Che Gulai felt like she was being hugged by a block of ice.

Che Gulai’s clothes were also wet. The two wet people hugging together felt only coldness and stickiness.

Che Gulai felt uncomfortable and wanted to push her away, but she knew Shen Sijin’s strength was considerable. She couldn’t push her away right now, so she let her hug her. The sooner the hug, the sooner it would end.

Shen Sijin’s whole body was trembling like a puppy, and her voice was shaking.

“Che Gulai, don’t leave me.”

“Please value me a little. I love you.”

Every time Che Gulai heard a sincere confession, she felt only irritation.

But this irritation wasn’t the disgust she usually felt.

She couldn’t deal with Shen Sijin’s sincere, humble confession. Her scalp tingled. Fortunately, Shen Sijin’s mental state was fragile, and she soon fell asleep.

Che Gulai put her in the back seat and turned on the car heater.

When the rain lessened, Che Gulai finally started driving back.

Midway, Sang He called to demand an explanation. “Sister Gulai, why didn’t you come pick me up? You promised me you would. You’re a liar!”

Sang He’s voice was loud, filling the car.

Che Gulai looked at Shen Sijin lying in the back seat. “Sang He, I had an urgent matter, so I had someone else go pick you up.”

Sang He was drunk and being hysterical. “I wanted you to pick me up!”

Che Gulai’s voice was calm. “Sang He, behave.”

The two talked for a few moments. Sang He finally quieted down after Che Gulai comforted her.

The car moved slowly forward.

Che Gulai thought Shen Sijin was unconscious, unaware that after hearing their conversation, a tear had escaped Shen Sijin’s eye, dripping onto the floor, unnoticed by anyone.

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