Appearing on a Marriage Show Before Getting Divorced - Chapter 3

“Chang’e’s Pesky Little Rabbit.”

What a simple, unadorned, and down-to-earth title!

A rabbit is fine, but why a “pesky” one?

Ruan Youran’s face turned green. She stared wide-eyed at Director Niu, who was puffing on a cigarette with her eyes half-closed, looking perfectly content. Anyone close to Youran knew her childhood nickname was “Jianjian” (Little Pesky). Since she was paired with the “Goddess Chang’e,” it was only fitting she take her place as the rabbit. Director Niu was just being “resourceful.”

The others were stifling laughs. Even the serious President Qin couldn’t help a smirk as she looked between Youran and Chu Nian.

Before the show had even officially started filming, Youran was already fuming. She barely heard a word Director Niu said about “building chemistry.”

The cunning Director Niu claimed this pre-filming stage was for the guests to get to know each other, but cameras were already set up everywhere. Her excuse? “The first time people meet is the most beautiful and sweet. We might capture some classic moments.”

Hearing this, Youran’s heart sank. She stared at her phone in silence.

Yes. The beginning of a relationship is indeed the sweetest and most bittersweet. Back then, she would stay up all night waiting for a text, toss and turn over a single sentence, and be happy all day just because of a smile.

And now? It was all gone.

But she was an actress. Despite her reputation for coasting, she had professional standards. No matter the personal grievances, she wouldn’t let them ruin the shoot.

The first task for the “couples” was grocery shopping.

The three pairs arrived at a supermarket cleared by the crew. Each pair pushed a cart, chatting and laughing. From the outside, they looked like the picture of happiness.

Standing next to Chu Nian and smelling her familiar scent, Youran felt a wave of bitterness. They had done this countless times years ago. She hated herself for being so sentimental. Once certain things are said and done, there should be no more lingering.

Director Niu held up a sign nearby: [What are you two doing? A government inspection? A walk in the park? Be romantic!]

Ruan Youran: “…”

Chu Nian noticed Youran’s reddening eyes and the way she bit her lip to endure. Her grip on the cart tightened. Suddenly, she reached out and draped an arm around Youran’s shoulder. Looking at the food, she asked softly, “See anything you want to eat?”

Youran’s body stiffened. Cameras swarmed closer.

Fine, you want to act? Youran thought with a cold internal laugh. She tilted her head up, her eyes full of provocative charm. “Will you give me whatever I want?”

Youran didn’t need to brag—few could resist that look. Her mother always said her eyes were like live wires; one glance and the electricity went straight to your heart. She hadn’t used that look on anyone except… for years.

Chu Nian dazed for a moment. She took a deep breath, her eyes darkening as she wrapped an arm around Youran’s waist. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure you’re full.”

Ruan Youran: “…”

Don’t worry… make sure I’m full?

The crew grew excited. The cameraman’s hands were shaking—the Film Queen was “driving a fast car”!

Youran rolled her eyes and picked out ingredients. Chu Nian watched the cart fill up with green vegetables—mostly her favorites. She felt a mix of heartache and warmth. Looking at Youran bustling about like a little bee, she desperately wanted to hold her.

Sometimes cameras were a good thing. In front of the lens, Youran wouldn’t use her words as blades.

Chu Nian walked up and stroked Youran’s hair. “You’re so careful with the selection. Whoever marries you must be a dragon among men.”

Ruan Youran: “…………”

This woman. Has she no shame?! If not for the cameras, Youran would have slapped her hand away.

They returned to an open kitchen to show off their skills. According to the “wife-wife” division of labor, those who didn’t shop had to cook.

Lin Yiyi dragged Youran aside to snack on melon seeds. Youran watched Chu Nian tie on an apron. “Does she even know how?” she scoffed.

“What doesn’t she know how to do?” Yiyi replied, spitting out a seed shell. She was a huge fan and had been excited for days to be on a show with Chu Nian.

Youran pursed her lips. Chu Nian cooking? She’ll probably burn the kitchen down.

But as the cooking began, the melon seeds in Youran’s hand dropped to the floor. She stared blankly at Chu Nian’s expert knife skills and the way she handled the flame like a Michelin chef.

The first dish out was Sweet and Sour Pork Ribs—Youran’s favorite.

Director Niu clicked her tongue. “Impressive, Nian Nian. I remember you didn’t know how to cook before.”

Years ago, everyone on set knew Chu Nian couldn’t cook. Every day, her assistant would bring a mysterious “love bento” shaped like a little rabbit. Chu Nian had guarded those meals like treasure; no one was allowed to touch them.

Chu Nian’s eyes fixed on Ruan Youran. “I didn’t know how back then. Later, I practiced for someone. But now… I suppose it’s no longer needed.”

The director immediately signaled the assistant director—this line had to be a highlight of the edit! She took a bite and winced. “It’s good, but you put in way too much vinegar. It’s too sour.”

Youran felt a knot in her chest. she walked over, tasted it, and lowered her head. She loved exceptionally sour things. The amount of vinegar most people used for pork ribs was never enough for her.

To distract herself from the surging emotions, Youran said coldly, “I’ll do the next one.”

Ruan Youran’s cooking was legendary. Chu Nian naturally untied her apron, walked behind Youran, and leaned in to tie it around her waist.

Youran’s body went rigid. Chu Nian’s scent—a mix of body wash and her natural fragrance—enveloped her. Her hands worked gently at Youran’s waist.

“They look so natural together,” Lin Yiyi whispered.

“Yeah,” Song Ci added softly, “Youran-jie’s ears are totally red.”

The meal took two hours to finish—eight dishes and a soup. During dinner, the atmosphere was lively. Director Niu opened a bottle of red wine. Youran, feeling a bit tipsy, reached for a piece of sushi.

Chu Nian grabbed her hand. “You can’t eat that.”

“Why not?” a tipsy Lin Yiyi asked.

“I’m allergic to shrimp,” Youran said hoarsely. “My lips will swell up.”

Youran used to be greedy and had eaten shrimp many times. Her lips would swell up comically, like Pigsy from Journey to the West. But there was someone who never minded. Amidst the laughter of her family, that person would cup Youran’s face and kiss her lips, calling it “disinfection.” Each time, it only ended when a blushing Youran pushed her away.

“I’m going to the restroom,” Youran said, her eyes welling up. She was afraid of crying on camera. She had underestimated how hard this would be.

After she left, there was a momentary awkward silence. Director Niu lit a cigarette to smooth things over. She eventually found Youran by the sinks, splashing her face with cold water.

“Chu Nian, you bad woman,” Youran muttered to the mirror. “All you do is bully me. Is your conscience eaten by dogs? Did you hurt your brain while you were abroad? You have a beautiful face, but it hides a heart as black as coal! You… blah blah blah…”

Director Niu: “…” I never knew she was such a talented curser.

“Ahem.” Niu coughed to announce her presence.

“You smelly woman! Think you’re all that because you’re pretty? Think you’re great because you have a nice body? You…”

Director Niu: “…” She’s so focused she didn’t even hear me.

Niu walked up and tapped her shoulder. Youran jumped. “Auntie! You scared me.”

“Are you not afraid now that you know it’s me?” the director teased.

Youran’s eyes were clear but red. “Didn’t she tell you about us?”

“She? Tell me what?”

“Stop acting,” Youran said sluggishly. “If she hadn’t told you our relationship, why would you have looked at me like I was a wolf this morning?”

Director Niu was impressed. The little girl had grown up. She used to be a hothouse flower protected by her two mothers. “What did she tell you?”

“Nothing,” Niu replied quickly.

Youran rolled her eyes and ripped a tissue in half. “Well, let me tell you. We have absolutely no relationship. And Auntie—if you know any young, handsome, talented ‘little fresh meat’ (young men), introduce me! Remember that!” She stormed off.

A moment later, a cold fragrance filled the air. Chu Nian appeared.

“She told you everything?” Chu Nian asked.

Director Niu was dizzy. Why do they both say the exact same things? “Nian Nian, what is going on?”

Chu Nian didn’t speak. She slowly raised her hands and clapped three times. Her dark eyes fixed on the director.

“An infinite loop,” Chu Nian said.

The Film Queen was indeed concise. With one gesture and two words, she explained everything “fast, hard, and accurately.”

Director Niu: “……………. OMG!”