I Miss You Even in the Daytime [Rebirth GL] - Chapter 4

“I’m not looking,” Xu Liming said calmly. She understood Lu Baitian’s feelings; if she were caught like this in front of a classmate, she would also want to preserve a shred of dignity.

She took off her coat and handed it back toward Lu Baitian without turning around.

The hem of the coat was brushed lightly, but the garment wasn’t taken. An ice-cold presence left a trail behind her as it escaped into the room, where the girl clumsily and frantically pulled on her own cotton jacket—one that barely had any stuffing left.

Xu Liming closed the balcony door, shutting out the freezing air, and picked up the air conditioning remote from the desk, raising her hand to turn it on.

“Don’t,” a soft voice stopped her.

“I haven’t paid the AC fee.”

Xu Liming froze. “Then what do you do when they turn it on?”

“I’m not in the dorm during the day,” Lu Baitian said.

A strange sensation welled up in Xu Liming’s heart—it was hard to tell if it was sympathy or something else. Although her own family life wasn’t perfect, she had at least been born inside an ivory tower.

This was the first time she had faced poverty so directly.

At the same time, doubts began to grow. Arts entrance exams were not cheap; if she was this destitute, how could she afford this major?

Maybe her family gritted their teeth to provide for her, Xu Liming quickly reasoned. It must not be easy.

“It’s fine, I’ll pay them the money,” Xu Liming said. Just as the words left her mouth, the remote was snatched from her hand. When she looked again, Lu Baitian had already retreated into the shadows, far away from her.

Xu Liming was used to doing whatever she wanted. Aside from Lin Wan, she rarely bothered to speculate on others’ feelings, but a flicker of regret crossed her mind now.

Lu Baitian seemed to have very strong self-esteem. Did her words just now come across as offensive?

“I’m sorry,” Xu Liming apologized quickly, then set the bag down nearby. “This is a birthday gift for you. Happy birthday.”

“And thank you for helping me out earlier,” she added.

This time, Lu Baitian didn’t refuse. After a long silence, she whispered a “thank you.” She finally stepped out of the shadows, shivering as she poured a cup of hot water from the thermos on her desk.

Only then did Xu Liming see her clearly. She wasn’t wearing her glasses, and her hair wasn’t tied up. Without the obstructions, her face appeared small and sharp; her lips were slightly purple from the cold, and her downcast eyes were like a pool of stagnant water beneath a snowy mountain.

Her thin frame was swallowed by the hollow cotton jacket. The parts that should have been filled with down were so flat that you could see the shape of her old pajamas underneath. The pajamas were worn, and the short pant legs exposed ankles that were beginning to chafe.

Xu Liming glanced at the iron door behind her. The balcony doors in the Huachuan dorms were standard sliding doors: the top half was glass for light, and the bottom half was solid.

The latch was iron, heavy and rusted. It was impossible to be accidentally locked out.

She couldn’t help but ask, “Who locked you out there?”

Lu Baitian’s hands, red from the cold, tightened around her cup. She shook her head. “No one. I was just careless.”

Only a fool would believe that. Xu Liming’s ink-black eyes studied the trembling girl, but ultimately, she didn’t press further. If the girl didn’t want to say, she didn’t want to be nosy.

Xu Liming had always thought campus bullying was something that only happened in middle or high school. She hadn’t expected to encounter it in university. But unlike the crude violence of minors, adult bullying was like a silent rain—more calculated, gradual, and suffocating.

Was Lin Wan among those who locked Lu Baitian out in such cold weather? A shiver ran through Xu Liming.

She knew Lin Wan had turned rotten, but she hadn’t realized she was rotten this early.

Xu Liming turned around and easily recognized Lin Wan’s desk. It was clean, elegant, and organized. A few books and some aromatherapy sat on the bookshelf; the cluttered items on the desk hadn’t been put away yet.

In the most prominent spot lay a collection of Borges’ poetry—a gift from Xu Liming. She walked over and picked it up. On the title page were a few lines of poetry she had once transcribed in fountain pen.

“What can I hold you with? I offer you lean streets, desperate sunsets, the moon of the jagged suburbs. I offer you the bitterness of a man who has looked long and long at the lonely moon.”

Xu Liming let out a cold laugh. She reached out, tore the page out, crumpled it into a ball, and threw it into the trash.

“Get into your bed and warm up. I’m leaving,” Xu Liming said. She opened the door and walked out, her windbreaker fluttering as she disappeared into the string of glowing hallway lights.

Xu Liming did not see that after she left, the girl who had been standing silently knelt down. She pushed aside the trash and took out the ugly, crumpled piece of paper.

She smoothed it out with extreme care and folded it.

Relaxing her frozen body, she let out a long, long breath.

Being reborn had its pros and cons for Xu Liming. The good part was that she could change her destiny; the bad part was that after experiencing the highs and lows of life, she still had to attend an 8:00 AM class.

Yawning and clutching a coffee, Xu Liming thought this as she rushed into the classroom just as the 8 o’clock bell rang.

The other students were already seated. Most were bleary-eyed like her, hugging their books to squeeze in some more sleep. Only a few figures in the front row sat bolt upright, looking energetic and prominent.

Among them was Lin Wan. Her porcelain brows furrowed slightly, seemingly displeased by the noise of someone entering. When she saw it was Xu Liming, her frown deepened with a hint of disgust.

Normally, Xu Liming would have brought breakfast for Lin Wan—five days a week, rain or shine. But this time, Xu Liming walked naturally past Lin Wan and stopped by her roommates.

“Can I sit here?” Xu Liming tapped on Tao Ning and Sun Muya’s desk. Both looked up in surprise and lapsed into an awkward silence.

“Thanks.” Xu Liming took their silence as agreement, pulled out a chair, and sat down. She took a paper bag from her backpack and handed it to them.

“I brought you guys coffee,” Xu Liming said.

Their expressions, which had been a mix of reluctance and defensiveness, visibly shifted into being flattered. They took the bag with both hands.

Xu Liming didn’t say anything else. She rested her head on her arms and closed her eyes. Tao Ning and Sun Muya exchanged a look.

Xu Liming looked aloof, and her personality was known for being cynical. In the eyes of others, she was the typical “useless rich second-generation.” The way she chased Lin Wan was a joke shared behind her back; many even felt sorry for Lin Wan for being pestered by such a person.

But from the past two days of contact, Xu Liming seemed different from the rumors—not that difficult to get along with.

Tao Ning, easily bribed by a cup of coffee, quickly returned to her talkative self and initiated a conversation.

She nudged Xu Liming and whispered, “Hey, why didn’t you bring Lin Wan breakfast today?”

“The school has a cafeteria.” Xu Liming opened her eyes. Her dark pupils made it impossible to read her thoughts.

Having hit a wall, Tao Ning gave a couple of laughs to mask her awkwardness.

Xu Liming closed her eyes to go back to sleep, until she was awakened again by that same burning sensation from yesterday. She looked up with a hint of irritation. Before her was a sea of slumped backs. Morning sunlight filled the classroom, and the hum of the AC mixed with the rustle of turning pages.

Everything seemed peaceful. She didn’t meet anyone’s gaze. Xu Liming scanned the room suspiciously. Her eyes settled on the corner of the row in front of her. A figure sat there alone; a low ponytail covered her neck, and her shadow merged with her pilling gray sweater.

Her gift clearly hadn’t been put to use.

Tao Ning seemed to notice Xu Liming’s gaze. She leaned in and chimed in with a sigh: “To be honest, I really admire her sometimes. Working three jobs and still having the energy to wake up early for self-study every day.”

“Three jobs?” Xu Liming looked back.

“Yeah. One in the cafeteria, one in the campus milk tea shop, and I think she has one off-campus on the weekends,” Tao Ning counted on her fingers. “If it were me, I’d rather just drop out.”

Xu Liming remembered the hand she had seen yesterday—a hand that belonged to a young girl but looked weathered by life.

As Tao Ning spoke, she suddenly asked mysteriously, “Do you want to hear some gossip?”

Normally, Xu Liming wouldn’t have the slightest interest. But today, for some reason, she nodded.

“I heard that the reason her family is so poor is because she’s an illegitimate child,” Tao Ning leaned closer. “Her mom isn’t a ‘proper’ person; she only had her after being someone’s mistress.”

Tao Ning didn’t control her volume. Several people in the front row turned around. Xu Liming frowned and looked toward the corner. Sure enough, the girl who had been writing feverishly just a moment ago jolted violently. The pen in her hand clattered to the floor.

Sun Muya quickly nudged Tao Ning a few times. Realizing her slip of the tongue, Tao Ning immediately covered her mouth.

The people in the front row let out meaningful snickers upon hearing this. A boy wearing glasses turned around, seemingly wanting Lu Baitian to hear him: “If you’re going to say it, just say it. What’s there to be afraid of? It’s the truth anyway. The mess in her family is common knowledge in this class!”

Before anyone could react, a cup of coffee suddenly descended from the heavens, pouring over the boy’s head. Ice cubes slid down his neck into his collar. The boy’s words stopped abruptly. He jumped up and writhed violently, trying to shake the ice out of his clothes.

“You motherf—” The boy slammed his hand on the desk and stood up. But as he looked at Xu Liming, who sat there with her arms crossed and as immovable as a mountain, his bravado slowly died out.

The “rich kid”—he couldn’t afford to provoke her.

“Psychopath!” the boy cursed. He dodged the tissue someone offered, wiped himself haphazardly, and rushed toward the restroom. Xu Liming watched coldly. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Lu Baitian had disappeared at some point.

The commotion was large enough to draw the attention of the whole class, including Lin Wan. She turned back to see Xu Liming sitting with her arms crossed, her profile sharp, her shoulders filling out her soft shirt.

Lin Wan’s clean fingertips, smelling of perfume, tightened around her fountain pen. She couldn’t explain the source of the irritation in her heart.

She didn’t know if it was an illusion, but since the start of the term, Xu Liming seemed to have stopped paying attention to her.

Lin Wan cleared her throat and spoke coldly, “Xu Liming, do you even want to study anymore?”

In the past, there had been similar scenes. After receiving a scolding from her, Xu Liming would act like a hedgehog retracting its quills, tucking herself away obediently to please her. Lin Wan was almost certain she would do the same.

But not this time. Xu Liming’s night-black eyes merely swept over her before she shouldered her bag and stood up.

“I don’t, Class Monitor,” she said. Then, ignoring Lin Wan’s choked expression and the shock of the others, she vanished beyond the doorframe.

Satisfying.

Xu Liming walked down the stairs with a rare smile. Huachuan’s architecture was full of flamboyant artistic flair. The stairs of the teaching building were half-indoor and half-outdoor, spiraling all the way to the ground, with alternating patches of shadow and light.

Halfway down the second-to-last flight, Xu Liming paused. She saw a lonely figure sitting in the shadows of the first floor. The girl was holding a book to her knees, buried in intense study in an uncomfortable position.

After all, she had allowed Tao Ning to speak, which had caused the incident. Xu Liming let out a breath and stepped forward to apologize. But as soon as she poked her head out, the person scrambled up, and the books in her arms cascaded to the ground.

…Is she that afraid of me? Xu Liming felt it was strange.

“Sorry…” Xu Liming said as she stepped forward quickly to help the kneeling Lu Baitian pick up her books.

The girl was wearing a black jacket and looked distressed and flustered. Getting closer, Xu Liming noticed that this jacket was covered in indelible oil stains, unlike her other old but clean clothes.

Xu Liming withdrew her gaze, handed her the books, and instinctively tried to pull her up.

However, as soon as she touched the edge of the jacket, the person in front of her reacted as if triggered. She recoiled violently, her fingertips clutching so hard they turned white, pressing herself into the shadows.

“Dirty,” she whispered.