To Covet (GL) - Chapter 21

Yu Zhouwan wasn’t an art student training for the college entrance exam. She could draw as much as she wanted, and Shi Yunya didn’t force her to do anything. But Yu Zhouwan herself considered it an essential part of her weekend schedule.

To get to the higher education district, you had to transfer buses twice. Staring at the shaking buildings outside the bus window, I was so bored that I stared at the names of the bus stops, calculating how far we had to go.

Yu Zhouwan sat there with her arms crossed, not moving. She noticed I was staring at her, looked at me, and then quickly looked away.

The art studio was a training center that occupied several floors. When we arrived, it was noon. The students swarmed out for lunch. The empty classrooms were scattered with various brush-washing containers. I lifted my foot, and a piece of old paint was lying all alone where my shoe had stepped. These marks were scattered all over the floor.

We were almost two hours later than usual. We ate fried noodles outside, and during that time, Yu Zhouwan answered two phone calls. The first thing she did when we got into the studio was not put down her toolbox but to knock on the office door to find her teacher. Only then did she go upstairs to a classroom and set up her easel.

I offered to sharpen her pencils, trying to apologize to her. When I woke up this morning, the sun was already past the treetops. My phone had a long list of “overdue” alarms.

Yu Zhouwan was sitting at a desk doing her homework. Hearing the noise of me getting out of bed, she slowly put the cap back on her pen and turned to ask me, “Want some breakfast?”

This classroom was for non-intensive training students. There was a circle of easels in the back. In the middle were spotlights for the still life and a still life of a clay pot and fruits on a cloth. The strokes on the paper were clumsy, and there were snack bags on the floor. I guessed they were a bunch of young kids.

While I was daydreaming, Yu Zhouwan came back with a lamp, and laid out two pieces of cloth, one light and one dark.

She stepped on a chair and lifted the silk cloth off the plaster statue. She paused, put it back down, walked around the tool room looking at the different colored still-life models, and came back empty-handed.

Time moved so slowly in the art studio. I sat on a stool in front of an easel for a while, imagining how long a kid would have to draw to make the charcoal marks so shiny.

“Come sit here.”

She patted my shoulder.

I noticed an armchair next to the lamp.

“I need a model,” Yu Zhouwan said. “I want to try a sketch today, if you don’t mind.”

I scratched my face and asked Yu Zhouwan how long it would take. It was really hard to stay in one position without moving.

“Less than an hour,” she said, giving me an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry. I don’t draw portraits often, so I’m not very skilled.”

“Rest your hand on the armrest and look at me here.” She placed a few books on my lap.

There was a row of famous paintings on the wall. I only recognized Van Gogh and Cézanne. A large group of children came back from the hallway, making a loud commotion. The moment they stepped into the room, they went silent, and even their movements of dragging their stools became cautious.

I sat there blankly for a long time. I looked at the digital watch on my wrist. It had been less than fifteen minutes.

My face was itching. I really couldn’t stand it. I moved my muscles with difficulty, but it was just a temporary fix.

“Yu Zhouwan, can I scratch it?”

The armchair was soft and comfortable at first, but after a while, my back and butt started to ache.

“Can I move?” I quickly swiped the hair that was brushing my face, scratched the itch like a monkey, and went back to my original pose.

The few kids in front of me were giggling, and they turned to look at us. Yu Zhouwan couldn’t see them because her back was to them. We looked at each other, and they mimicked my pose. I felt even more like a monkey.

Yu Zhouwan was blocked by the easel. All I could see were her legs and a moving elbow. I called out to her softly, but her pen kept making a scratching sound, and she didn’t respond.

“Yu Zhouwan?” I suspected she was doing this on purpose to tease me. “Are you done yet?”

The kids suddenly burst into laughter. The few boys who were leading the group stood up and started throwing paper airplanes and wads of paper at each other across three or four rows of easels. The peaceful drawing class turned into a chaotic mess.

The art studio floor was not clean but tidy. Now there was nothing left on it. Two wads of charcoal-covered drawing paper landed by my feet. Only then did she put down her pen and slowly stand up from her drawing board.

The chattering noise suddenly dropped in volume.

“Are you done?”

I tried to move my arms. Yu Zhouwan didn’t stop me. I stretched, and the books on my legs fell to the floor with a thud.

Yu Zhouwan was using a sharpened eraser to touch up the drawing. The children didn’t become completely silent until the art teacher came in.

The female teacher stopped in front of Yu Zhouwan’s drawing board. The two of them leaned in and said a few words to each other.

I stood up to see what was going on, and a sharp, numb feeling shot up my right leg. I fell back into the chair.

“Yeah, I think so too,” the female teacher said, finally noticing me. “Did you specifically find a model?”

“No,” Yu Zhouwan said, sitting back down and touching up two strokes. “She’s my sister. She came with me to draw today.”

“Oh, your cousin? Or your step-sister?”

“My biological sister.”

“How come I’ve never heard you mention her?”

Yu Zhouwan lowered her head and continued to draw.

I massaged my calves, stood up with my stiff legs, and supported myself against the wall.

Yu Zhouwan had lived as an only child in her social circle for almost eighteen years. It was especially difficult to explain “my” existence.

As I stumbled two steps, I carefully considered my position—”the daughter my father had with another woman.” One of us, Yu Zhouwan or me, had to wear the “illegitimate child” hat.

Thinking this, her reserved personality was a big help.

“How did it turn out?” I stomped my foot, full of anticipation as I went over to her.

“It’s not good.” She hurriedly folded the drawing into a small square and put it in her pocket.

I didn’t have time to snatch it.

“It’s really not good,” Yu Zhouwan said, clutching her pocket. “I’m not good at drawing people.”

I felt like I was that piece of paper, screaming silently in her pocket.

“Does she know your mom?” I secretly pointed to the art teacher who was bending over to fix a painting.

“Yes.”

I turned my head and looked at Yu Zhouwan, whose hands were in her pockets. Her tone was so casual, as if I really were her biological sister who grew up with her.

She wasn’t worried that Shi Yunya would accidentally slip up in front of the teacher.

Perhaps the family of three had already agreed on a story. I thought this was reasonable. But in a way, it made me feel more like an outsider.

However, I couldn’t bring myself to bully Yu Zhouwan today. Maybe it was because she was doing her best to be a good sister. In front of others, she was so innocent and kind. It briefly pulled me back from the edge of moral transgression.

I carried the fruit I bought and followed her into the elevator. I couldn’t figure out why Yu Zhouwan was so uncharacteristically nice today.

Although it wasn’t exactly enthusiastic, it was a huge difference from her previous attitude of avoiding eye contact when we met.

I didn’t think it was like a video game quest where I was making progress.

Besides, I didn’t want her to have any feelings for me. The more she hated me, the better.

Now I was a little at a loss.