To Covet (GL) - Chapter 40

“Me?” I slipped the rope loop onto her hand, put the other loop on myself, then pulled it tight, binding myself to Yu Zhouwan. “What do you want to know? My life is too ordinary, just a running account.”

Yu Zhouwan took my hand and tucked it into her coat pocket.

She’d had her hands in her pockets since we got in the elevator, and the entire pocket was warm. I had been holding my phone, waiting for the cab in the cold wind, feeling frozen. The sudden warmth made my hand tingle from the outside in.

I was more concerned about when her “always” started counting. Was it from the first few days we met in Shucheng when we were kids, or after Yang Chun’s death when we reconnected as sisters?

“What kind of person was she?”

“Who?”

“Your mother.”

I quickly ran through my life story, from childhood to present, and hadn’t expected Yu Zhouwan’s first question to be about her.

“She was…” I pieced together my memories of Yang Chun.

Yang Chun was inherently free-spirited. In my memory, after her relationship with Yu Hanyang broke down, her lovers changed one after another. These men varied wildly in appearance, identity, and status, and any flaw would cause her to discard them like trash—from an unextinguished cigarette butt in the trash can to finding out she was the third party in a marriage. She could never find the right one; her ideal man was always the next one.

However, she never truly escaped the trap of heterosexual relationships. Until her death, she hoped for a reliable man to overturn a decade of disorder and shield her for the rest of her life. If that person was Yu Hanyang, all the better.

The price of freedom must be selfishness. She loved herself more than she loved me—that was the lesson she taught me.

“Before, she was a technical worker in a factory. Then she had me, and later she became a sales clerk. Anyway, she was a very ordinary person.”

“What did a technical worker do?”

“She welded electronic components, those tiny chips,” I hadn’t been a part of that history. My grandmother used to tell me those stories while rocking in her chair. “My mom went to college and was a small supervisor once.”

I suddenly realized Yang Chun had still sacrificed a lot for me.

She never claimed she changed jobs to take care of me. Occasionally, when Grandma brought up the past at the dinner table, Yang Chun would jokingly say that having a child ruined her eyesight, and she couldn’t do her old job anymore.

Only once, when I overheard her arguing with Yu Hanyang, did I learn that the supermarket sales clerk’s shift ended exactly at the time she could pick me up from school.

It turned out she wasn’t as indifferent to me as I had imagined.

We lived under the same roof for fifteen years. Stepping outside of what I took for granted, many things started to look different.

I opened the car door, and a pleasant fragrance drifted out.

The driver apologized repeatedly for being stuck in traffic at the intersection and being a few minutes late. Seeing me huddled up, the middle-aged woman kindly turned up the air conditioning.

“Girls, be careful being out so late. The temperature has dropped recently, and the ground is icy,” the driver, a woman in her thirties, chatted enthusiastically when she saw us. “Oh, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but I have a daughter your age, she’s in eighth grade. Are you classmates? Out for a late-night snack?”

“We’re sisters.”

My hand was still in Yu Zhouwan’s pocket. She kept fiddling with it. Her soft palm was sweaty. While staring blankly out the car window, the sense of touch allowed me to imagine the slick feeling of this hand’s owner lying naked on the bed.

“Twins?” The driver was briefly surprised, then laughed heartily. “Oh, how wonderful to have a sister or an older sister. Girls are so thoughtful.”

“Yes.”

I didn’t deny it. Yu Zhouwan squeezed the knot on my wrist. She didn’t use much force, but the fiber rubbing against my skin tickled.

“Take it off?”

I pulled my hand out before entering the house. The cold air immediately enveloped it, making the movements to untie the knot stiff. Yu Zhouwan unfastened the knot on her end, waving her hand several times to trigger the sensor light while waiting for me.

We did everything quietly and cautiously as we entered the house. I glanced at the study, but all I saw were scattered papers on the floor. Yu Hanyang’s cherished certificates and meticulously organized books were thrown everywhere.

“Dad.”

I stood with my arms crossed, watching him frantically search the study, and offered a half-hearted greeting.

Yu Hanyang ignored me and rushed straight over. “Where did your mother put that document?” He abruptly pulled Yu Zhouwan, who was standing in front of me.

Yu Zhouwan stumbled. Her arm was still injured, and she winced in pain.

The image of Yu Hanyang gripping Yang Chun’s neck and interrogating her flashed through my mind. Before I knew it, I had stepped forward, blocking him from Yu Zhouwan, and looked up to meet his gaze: “What are you looking for?”

“None of your business. Go back to sleep.”

“Why isn’t it my business?” I smelled a hint of alcohol, not strong. “Are you so sure I don’t know?”

Yu Hanyang’s face was flushed red, and he was panting heavily. “Quick, where did she put it?” He released Yu Zhouwan and anxiously went back to rummaging through the white papers covering the study floor, as if he were looking for the Ledger of Life and Death, not a paper contract.

“How am I supposed to help you find it if you don’t tell me what kind of contract it is? Besides, the study is a mess. Also, why don’t you call Auntie Shi? What if she took it?”

Yu Hanyang stood up, glanced at the mess in the study, and sat down on the sofa in defeat.

“Your Auntie Shi is very busy on her business trip. Don’t bother her with something so trivial. Besides, she can’t fly back immediately to help look.”

I looked at Yu Zhouwan, puzzled. I didn’t know which “contract” Yu Hanyang was talking about. Yu Zhouwan, however, ignored my confusion, as she was scrutinizing Yu Hanyang.

“Hurry back to sleep. Kids shouldn’t ask so many questions. It’s business matters. Next time, don’t stay out so late. Young girls can easily run into danger,” he reverted to the imposing figure of a father. “You just worry your parents for nothing. I almost called your mother to say my daughter was missing. You’re old enough to understand now, aren’t you?”

It seemed like he was simply furious because his daughter was out late. If the study weren’t still a disaster, I might have thought I misunderstood his intentions just now.

“You still haven’t told me what contract it is.”

“Did Mom ask you to look for it?”

Yu Zhouwan and I spoke simultaneously.

“Alright, that’s enough,” he slapped his head hard. “I must be drunk. Why are you kids getting involved in adult matters? What do children know?”

“I’m an adult.” Yu Zhouwan walked to the sofa opposite him. She didn’t sit down but looked down at him.

“Alright, Wanwan. Whether you’re an adult or not, aren’t you still being supported by your parents? Aren’t you still a child?”

“Is it the contract for the stock transfer?” Yu Zhouwan poured him a glass of water and handed it to him. “Mom took those things away a long time ago. She certainly wouldn’t keep such important documents at home, would she? If you want them, you’d best call her to clarify.”

As the only outsider, I was completely lost in their cryptic conversation. Yu Hanyang reached for his pocket to light a cigarette, then remembered his jacket was in the study. He took the water his daughter offered and drank it in one gulp.

“Wanwan, I thought your mother never discussed her business matters with you.”

“She rarely does. Mom wants me to focus on studying what I want,” Yu Zhouwan offered a polite smile. “But Dad, I am Mom’s biological daughter. I’ll still know what I need to know. After all, some of these things will be mine later.”

Her tone wasn’t aggressive, but every word carried weight. She heavily emphasized the words “biological daughter.” I could even see the shadow of Shi Yunya in her demeanor. The composed elegance she displayed in her daily life, or the endearing vulnerability she showed in bed, felt completely disconnected from the way she was now.

I gave up trying to guess the meaning of the father and daughter’s veiled remarks, planning how to get useful information from Shi Yunya when she returned.

Yu Zhouwan pulled my hand, dragging me into the bedroom. She slammed the door shut and locked it. Just as I was wondering if I should ask her about it, she draped her arm over my shoulder, our lips met, and her hand reached under my clothes to unhook the clasp on my back.

It was as if the scene moments ago was an easily edited cutaway, and the Yu Zhouwan currently clinging to me was a completely different person.

“Sister, what were you talking to him about just now?”

I inhaled her comforting scent, letting her take off my clothes.