To Covet (GL) - Chapter 46

Her wet hair was wrapped around my hand, and when my fingers delved deeper, they met the warmth of her body temperature.

Yu Zhouwan’s hand rested on the throw pillow. I stroked the marks left by the rope and couldn’t resist kissing them. Her hand slid down my cheek to my shoulder. Her tongue retracted and then pushed to the deepest part of my mouth. In a daze, a sticky, warm liquid gushed uncontrollably from between my legs.

A voice in my head mocked myself for almost losing my mind in lust. In my uncontrollable, soaring fantasy, instead of using my arms to support my unbalanced upper body, I let myself fall backward. Her lips happened to kiss my lower abdomen, and I even wished the scattered ropes would gather again and be tied into a beautiful knot right where she was kissing.

Everything felt dizzying. She easily pushed me into the messy duvet, where I processed the lingering heat of our finished act.

Yu Zhouwan reached for the laptop at the foot of the bed and closed all the software.

“What high-level secret is this that I can’t see?” I touched the screen, and the lock screen prompted for a password.

I pinched my thigh, and Yu Zhouwan finally snapped back. “Nothing. Didn’t you see everything when I sent the file just now?”

“She wasn’t willing to let me see it,” I sniffled.

“It probably involved some accounting data and related personnel. It’s all internal company data. Mom usually doesn’t let me touch it either. This time might have been particularly urgent.”

I couldn’t tell if she was intentionally comforting me or if she simply didn’t understand the main point of my frustration.

I ignored the disappointing interlude and picked up the rope from the floor.

Yu Zhouwan’s hand, holding the tissue midway, twitched.

“Does it hurt a lot?” I pressed on her shoulder blade, and she flinched, letting out a small hiss.

Cotton rope causes less friction than nylon rope. Under normal force, the damage from friction should be limited to marks that disappear immediately upon release. I leaned in for a closer look and noticed a few spots where the skin was broken, indicating that the person who tied the ropes earlier had been quite rough.

She shook her head. Seeing that I wasn’t going to force her again, her strained expression suddenly eased. She grabbed the wrinkled tissue and wiped herself. As she moved, the shallow, striped ligature marks on her body followed her closely. I watched her clean up with satisfaction, then tugged on the collar around her neck. She was about to sit up but instantly fell backward onto my lap.

“The earrings are nice,” I pulled back the duvet covering her, playing with her earlobe. “New buy?”

“Just ordinary moissanite. Nothing special to look at.”

“I can’t tell the difference,” I rested my chin on my hand. “The luster is the same as the real thing. If I had to choose, I might pick the wrong one.”

Yu Zhouwan nervously pressed her lips together, struggling desperately to sit up, as if she were lying on a field of thorns instead of my lap.

“What’s wrong?” I held her shoulders down. “Are you that afraid of your own sister? I’m not going to eat you. You were very serious when you were licking me just now.”

She turned her face away, refusing to look me in the eyes.

“I didn’t force you, Sister,” I played with the metal ring of the clasp. “You were the one who said you wanted to do it with me just now.”

“Yu Keyi,” Yu Zhouwan was quiet for a long time before she spoke, like a vague sleep-talk. “Do you want to do this with me because you actually hate me?”

“I just feel like you’ve always genuinely disliked me, thinking I’m low-class and loose, and that I like something normal people can’t understand. If I were actually tied up by you, the thought that you would despise me in your heart while spanking or using toys like just now makes me especially scared. But once I’m tied up, I can’t resist, I don’t even have a chance to cover my ears and not listen,” she exhausted all the words she could muster. “Have you truly never thought that? Never, ever?”

After her confrontation came the exhaustion of spent energy. Yu Zhouwan lay obediently on my lap. Even though she asked a question with a potentially devastating answer, she seemed so detached. In my distraction, I almost mistook what happened a second ago for a casual chat about everyday life.

“The first time we did it, Keyi, that’s what you were thinking, right?”

I listened quietly to her interpretation. Light filtered through the beige-brown curtains. I couldn’t tell the exact time in the long afternoon. The entire room was bathed in an even hue, like the texture of an oil painting. Even the color of her skin was simplified into smeared color blocks.

“I guess you saw me and Feng Jia and thought that someone like me, living in an ivory tower, was an unsavory lesbian, especially absurd, and wanted to humiliate me?”

I couldn’t distinguish whether her casual tone was a genuine question for confirmation or a rhetorical question that already contained the answer. I didn’t know whether to say yes or no. I tried to summon the personality from the past to deeply analyze the emotions of that time, but it pointed back at my present self.

And the only thing that hadn’t changed was that I wanted to possess her, to take her away from others, to completely own this beautiful body, even if it meant leaving marks of destruction on it, even if it drove her to frenzy and insecurity, or even shattered her completely.

“Yes.” I had no intention of whitewashing my actions with sugar-coated words.

“Then you’ve become just like me, haven’t you, mm?”

After all, we share half the same blood, so we are destined to fall into the abyss of primal desire together.

“I was already this kind of person, Yu Zhouwan. I have so many pictures of you on my phone because I think you’re beautiful. You’re even more beautiful when someone is playing with you, and that makes me want you, to take you away from others,” I looked down at her features. The curtains were drawn too tightly. I thought that if a spot of light were to fall on her flawless skin right now, I would instinctively reach out, using my palm to replace that non-existent light. “Sister, you fascinate me no matter when.”

Yu Zhouwan and I rarely had such prolonged Q&A sessions. It seemed that the step from our daily distant interaction to transgressive sex was taken for granted, or, to put it another way, my obsession with her was on the most superficial level, so there was no need to build a bridge of spiritual connection between the two.

“When did you start liking bondage?” I knew that this kind of kink often gets its first unintentional spark or fully awakens in childhood, which is why it had become so unrestrained by her age.

“Since my teacher first taught me how to tie knots on a model.”

I lay down, my head hanging over the side of the bed. The whole world was inverted by 180 degrees.

Based on the sensation on my lower legs, I knew Yu Zhouwan had rested her head on them. The bondage against her will had drained her so much. Her whole body was as soft as a cotton rope, waiting for me to shape and mold it with my words.

“Yu Keyi, when I tried to restrain myself like before, I stopped feeling anything. All I think about is… being tied up by you. I’d do anything… as long as you want,” when I sat up, she voluntarily wrapped her arms around my neck and pressed her lips to mine. “I need you. So, please, don’t say humiliating things during bondage, okay? Every time I think about you tying me up and then wanting to stand on a moral high ground to lecture me to quit my bondage addiction, I feel like I’ll go crazy.”

Sometimes I felt like we had an unspoken understanding about our downward spiral. It was such a coincidence that Yu Zhouwan’s dependence on me also stemmed from her greed for desire. I could comfortably shake off the burden of psychological communication and enjoy my control over her, her obedience, and her dependence.

A sudden message sound yanked me back to reality from the canvas smeared with heavy paint. I was breathless from her kiss. Her frank request was like an enticing bait. I bit onto it even as I deliberated, feeling dizzy from her every word. I consecutively entered the wrong code three times before I unlocked the phone.

“Your English test papers and vocabulary book from last week were left with me,” Gao Rui sent two messages, still lacking any sense of humor, just like her, and without a single unnecessary emoji. “I have class tomorrow. I’ll bring them to you on Monday.”