To Covet (GL) - Chapter 5

Yu Zhouwan didn’t get home until almost 11 p.m. again. Shi Yunya was working overtime today. Yu Zhouwan found a quick excuse to get rid of Yu Hanyang, slammed the door to her room, and didn’t stay in the living room for a second longer.

I stood up, holding my newly bought study materials, and knocked on her door.

“What do you want?” It wasn’t Yu Zhouwan who asked, but Yu Hanyang.

“I have something I don’t understand and wanted to ask my sister,” I said, squeezing the pen in my hand and looking down at the inch-thick math book in my arms. “I have a test when school starts in two weeks.”

Yu Zhouwan reluctantly opened the door, showing only half of her body. She probably couldn’t figure out why I was being so friendly with her today.

In reality, I was just curious about her room and was looking for an excuse to get inside.

“Your sister can help you with your schoolwork,” Yu Hanyang said with a warm smile. “If you fall behind at the beginning, it’ll be hard to catch up later. Your dad speaks from experience.”

Yu Zhouwan moved to the side to let me in.

The only light source in the huge room was the desk lamp. The bookshelf covering the entire wall was in shadow. Her desk was piled with books, mostly with English covers. Tucked in the stack was a small scented candle, and a wisp of fast-dissipating smoke occasionally curled from it. I realized that’s where her scent came from.

“Make yourself at home,” she said, gesturing toward the bed.

I dragged a chair with a backrest and sat next to her. As an uninvited guest in her private space, it was important to set boundaries.

Linzhou Foreign Language School put a great deal of emphasis on English classes, but other subjects were the same as other schools. Yu Zhouwan was half-crouched, drawing a diagram on a piece of scratch paper, and asked me if I knew the formulas. Qizhong was known for its fast-paced curriculum. We’d been learning new material all summer, and a placement test was scheduled for the very first day.

“What happened to your hand?” I asked, looking up from the jumble of letters and numbers.

“I scraped it moving some stuff.” She lifted her other hand to cover the bandaged area. “I went to the hospital to get it treated. I’m fine.”

“Oh…”

I mumbled “oh” with suspicion, squinting to glance at her naturally low-hanging collar. Unfortunately, the light was too dim, and I couldn’t see anything.

People have an innate ability to sense when someone is watching them. But before Yu Zhouwan could look up and meet my eyes, I had already turned my gaze back to the pen tip gliding across the paper.

Yu Hanyang hired a private tutor for math, physics, and chemistry. I found out about it when I was dragged out of bed the next morning. The classes lasted from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., with almost no breaks except for lunch.

I was used to being given free rein by my mother and grandmother, so this “care” felt strangely out of place. I was abruptly yanked from my holiday freedom and thrust back into the role of a student.

Without the freedom to use my time as I pleased, I couldn’t follow Yu Zhouwan when she went out. My buzzing curiosity didn’t fade; it grew into wild fantasies. In moments of an idle mind, her face would appear, and I’d imagine her on a date with her secret lover, kissing and whispering sweet nothings.

Amidst my disgust and contempt, my plan became more determined. The complex, unfamiliar formulas under my pen were replaced by a vivid depiction of their family of three in a chaotic, ugly fight.

But before all that, I had to keep up the pretense and get closer to her.

I had only two photos of Yu Zhouwan—one of her back and one of her in profile. I used my messy diary as a cover for the cut-out photos.

Two photos weren’t nearly enough. I needed more, more explicit photos that could completely destroy her self-respect.

Before school started, Yu Hanyang gave me several long, repetitive speeches. The gist was that I shouldn’t disappoint my mother’s dying wish and should become a person of great use.

He also said that he would support me financially, no matter the cost, as long as I studied hard—that kind of empty talk.

I felt my pocket. Inside was a stack of photo paper that I was about to throw into the trash can downstairs.

“The dead can’t be brought back to life,” Yu Hanyang said, patting my shoulder. “I’m sorry for how I treated you and your mother.”

I blinked, pretending I had just seen the light.

Thinking back on the years between Yang Chun’s diagnosis and her death, my heart still didn’t feel much. When I did think about it, I felt distant, like waking up in the morning and instinctively reaching for something, only to suddenly remember it had been lost a long time ago.

The photos in the drawer were ones I had taken of Yang Chun over the years. Photos of her cooking, going to work, taking a walk, laughing, being angry, frowning, and meeting different dates.

The purpose of these photos was simple: I wanted to record why Yang Chun had changed so completely, from a mother who loved her daughter to a stranger.

But for her, these photos were nothing short of blackmail, a sword of Damocles hanging over her head. In the end, Yang Chun, in a fit of rage, smashed the camera and then begged me to understand and forgive her.

After all, I was her only spiritual haven, her only blood relative in her brief life. When Yu Hanyang hit her or a boyfriend gave her a cold shoulder, she would come home and sob on my shoulder.

After school started, Yu Hanyang offered to drive me to and from school every weekend. I politely refused, telling him I was old enough to be independent.

I hated being confined to a schedule.

The school’s strict curfews meant I had no chance of seeing Yu Zhouwan. And after school started, she underwent a total “makeover”—every time I came home, I would walk in on her and Shi Yunya fighting. I didn’t know the exact reasons. To avoid being drawn into their conflict, I would lock myself in my room, and their arguments would stop the moment I got home.

From the vague snippets of their arguments, I could piece together that Shi Yunya had discovered Yu Zhouwan was constantly lying to her, even skipping evening study hall to do who knows what outside of school. So now, she was “grounded” and had to be home on time every night.

Shi Yunya didn’t care about the deeper reasons. She desperately wanted Yu Zhouwan to cut off these trivial relationships and focus on the path her mother had paved for her.

Yu Zhouwan wasn’t as smart as I thought. When she got emotional, she was incredibly stubborn. Shi Yunya, in a fit of anger, slapped her.

Yu Hanyang went to comfort his wife, and I gently knocked on Yu Zhouwan’s door.

I didn’t genuinely want to comfort her. In fact, seeing the tense standoff between mother and daughter after Shi Yunya slapped her gave me a strange sense of joy.

Instead of seeing Yu Zhouwan’s indifferent, expressionless face, I preferred to see her looking defeated and frustrated when the story didn’t go as planned.

Perhaps it was the jealousy from my subconscious at work.

Yu Zhouwan let me in only after I spoke and told her who I was. There was a wet, tear-stained spot on her bed, and her eyes were swollen from crying. I handed her some wet wipes and an ice pack. She cleared her throat and said “thank you.”

I sat silently beside her, secretly observing her as she struggled to stop sobbing.

“Does it hurt a lot?” The heat from her cheek warmed my palm.

“Does she hit you often?”

Yu Zhouwan shook her head. “Never before.”

That made sense. Yu Zhouwan was her precious baby. Hitting her would hurt her more. She probably couldn’t even stand to use harsh words on her on a normal day.

A mother’s intuition is usually spot-on. Shi Yunya must have guessed that Yu Zhouwan’s late nights were a sign of rebellion. She was frustrated that she couldn’t find evidence, and her daughter wouldn’t tell her the truth. In a moment of extreme anger fueled by a crisis of trust, she finally snapped.

“Yu Keyi, I’ll tell you…” Yu Zhouwan sniffled. “Never mind. You wouldn’t understand.”

While I was annoyed by her habit of only telling half the story, I noticed that she had started her previous sentences with my name, not just with “you.” I wondered if this was a change in attitude. I cared more about that than getting the full story right away.

“It’s okay. Don’t be sad. Do you have any ointment to reduce the swelling and pain?”

I followed her instructions, pulled open the drawer, and took out a nearly empty tube of ointment.

“My mom used to get so mad she’d pinch my ears and call me a little rascal,” I said, squatting in front of Yu Zhouwan. “It was because I poured out her expensive facial essence and used the glass bottle to grow those colorful little water beads that swell up in water.”

Yu Zhouwan let out a little chuckle.

But a wave of bitterness washed over me. This is what it felt like to talk about a dead relative.

Support during a person’s most vulnerable moments is always effective. I believed I would gradually earn her trust.

I rested my hands on the chair, turning my gaze from her to the cracks in the floorboards.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me,” she said, getting up and walking toward the bathroom. “You should go to bed. It’s late.”

“Sister, if you knew she’d be angry about you not being on time, why didn’t you just come back earlier?” I asked, feigning innocence.

“I had some annoying things I couldn’t get out of recently. It won’t happen again.”

I knew she wouldn’t tell me. That’s fine. I’ll get the evidence myself.

“Wait, Yu Keyi,” Yu Zhouwan said, calling me by name again, “Can I ask you for a favor?”

Yu Zhouwan cupped her hands with water and splashed it on her face. The nasty red handprint on her left cheek became even clearer. When she rubbed away the dried tear stains on her face, her fingers trembled from the pain. I stood motionlessly at the bathroom door. Even when Yu Zhouwan was fumbling to put the half-melted ice pack on her face, I didn’t move.

My attentiveness and kindness had their limits. I could tell Yu Zhouwan wanted something from me. I wanted her to ask me for a favor, not order me around. Negotiating was not an option.

As Yu Zhouwan put the swelling ointment on her face in front of the mirror, she asked about my school’s schedule, like when evening study hall ended.

“8:30… at 8:30, you’re not done with evening study hall yet, are you?” she stammered. “Yu Keyi, promise me. After school next Monday, I’ll come to Qizhong to find you. If Mom and Dad ask, just say you weren’t feeling well and wanted to come home early, okay?”

“Yu Keyi,” Yu Zhouwan said, closing her eyes. Her eyelashes were still wet, clumped into small, upside-down triangles. “As long as you don’t tell Mom and Dad, I’ll do anything you want.”

For a moment, I almost believed we were true sisters, bound by blood.

“Yu Keyi, no matter what, you’re still my sister. You’re the only person I can trust. If you just promise me…”

This sudden, heavy trust. I hesitated for a moment but still nodded, accepting this ticking time bomb.

“I won’t tell them,” I said, shrugging nonchalantly. “So, what are you going to do?”

“You’re the only person I can trust right now, little sister.” Her confidence in me seemed to be discounted by that flippant movement. “Just promise me, and I’ll tell you what’s going on.”

“Does it have to do with the fact that you and Shi… Auntie argue every day?”

She was silent for a moment, then nodded slightly.

To establish honesty and get closer, you first have to create a debt of gratitude or share a secret.

I found it so easy to gain Yu Zhouwan’s trust that I wondered if she was just lying again.

Maybe when people are at their most vulnerable, they’ll hold on to anything, even a single straw, as a lifeline.

Yu Zhouwan was actively asking me to lie and cover for her. Thinking about it, I felt that her secret lover—the one who only existed through the marks on her body—was a total jerk. Yu Zhouwan was arguing with her mother, getting into fights with Shi Yunya every day, and even got a painful slap for this person. Her pretty face was all red and swollen. And where was he? He was nowhere to be seen. Yu Zhouwan had to beg me to lie and cover for her just to go see him.

He must be some kind of deadbeat, like Yu Hanyang. Underaged relationships and emotional manipulation. I guess mothers and daughters have equally bad taste in men.

Yu Zhouwan gave me a fruit candy. I ate the bitter candy after brushing my teeth and felt like a fool who’d been duped into doing something bad.

While she was in the shower, I replaced the rabbit keychain on her backpack with an identical one. The only difference was that the new one had a GPS tracker made from a child’s smartwatch inside.

Since you trust me so much, let me see what you’re really up to.

I stared at the locked bathroom door. The sound of rushing water masked the tiny metallic clinking.

The English listening comprehension practice ended at 6:30, and the bell for evening study hall rang. I still had homework for several classes left to do.

“Let me borrow yours,” I said, yanking Xu Lanlan’s homework out of her bag.

“Remember not to copy everything. Change a few answers,” the teacher on duty said from the podium. Xu Lanlan quickly shoved her novel, which was disguised with a textbook cover, into her desk. “I don’t know the last two problems. If you figure them out, can you copy the answer to the first question for me?”

I clutched my backpack tightly and ran out just as the dismissal bell rang.

The school’s curfew meant nothing to me. I easily got the code to the small side gate from a classmate, which they used for ordering food delivery, and flipped over the railing in a single motion.

Qizhong and the foreign language school weren’t that far apart. To make sure I didn’t miss Yu Zhouwan, I took a taxi.

But Yu Zhouwan’s seat was empty. Yin Sien was still clueless.

Taking a gamble, I turned on the GPS.

It was moving slowly, then suddenly accelerated, going from the city center to a suburb in the southwest.

I had the driver set the GPS to the front of a vehicle registration office in the suburbs. I was going to ride a shared bicycle, but on second thought, I decided a bike would be too conspicuous in the suburbs, so I chose to walk.

Less than a quarter of the old houses remained in the southwest suburbs of Linzhou after it was designated for demolition. The rent was nearly half the price of the city, and while a lot of people lived here, they were a mixed bag. I cautiously walked past middle-aged men with bare chests who were bragging on the side of the road, feeling a wave of disgust.

The messy parking and makeshift sheds provided perfect cover for me as I peeked around, checking my GPS.

I was on edge the entire time because I had never let my prey out of my sight. I was afraid of running into Yu Zhouwan head-on and having her confront me with the GPS watch, or accidentally locking eyes with her as I glanced around. If that happened, I wouldn’t only lose the chance to uncover her secret, but more importantly, I’d lose Yu Zhouwan’s trust. I couldn’t possibly go and butter up Shi Yunya or the indifferent Yu Hanyang. Coming up with a new plan to get back at their family would be impossible unless I were the main character with a cheat code.

I had to admit, I was too stupid and careless. I was not a good hunter.

Yu Zhouwan stopped in front of a metal gate of a two-story building. The faint light from her phone screen revealed the anxious look on her face.

I crouched in the corner by a mossy wall, watching this play unfold without a beginning or an end.

People who went out for a walk around 8 p.m. started to head back. Yu Zhouwan circled the alley a few times, but she didn’t seem to have any intention of leaving.

I scratched at the fresh mosquito bites on my legs, my heart sinking. I almost suspected that Yu Zhouwan had turned the tables on me.

Yu Zhouwan got tired of standing and crouched down. The back of her school uniform shirt was completely soaked with sweat.

I heard another unfamiliar voice. It was almost 10 o’clock.

They were talking through the gate. The woman reluctantly stepped out of the courtyard. She had plastic hair rollers in her hair and a young face—no older than twenty. She was wearing a long green plaid nightgown, and she impatiently had her hands on her hips, silently urging Yu Zhouwan to get to the point.

I wanted to move a few steps closer to hear their conversation clearly, but if I moved even a little, the blinding streetlights would cast my shadow onto the road.

“Get lost!”

In the moment I was thinking about what to do, I didn’t notice who yelled that.

But I found out soon enough. Yu Zhouwan was holding the woman’s hand, trying to say something, but the woman yanked her hand away. She turned to go back inside, but Yu Zhouwan followed her, cornering her in the narrow alley.

I had never seen Yu Zhouwan so pitifully begging someone before. My collection had photos of her back, her sleeping face, and various expressions, but nothing gave me as much anticipation and joy as her submissive expression right now.

The two of them walked deeper into the alley, disappearing from the daylight-bright lights.

I held my breath and slowly moved into the darkness, crouching. The sand on the ground would make a terrible scraping noise with the slightest movement. It was a good thing there were no gaps between the concrete and the door; otherwise, my action would have been a huge risk.

But I just couldn’t help myself. I desperately wanted to know what happened next.

The only source of light in the alley was a streetlamp on the other side of a wall and some trees.

“Yu Zhouwan, do you just love begging people to abuse you?” the woman said with a cold laugh.

Yu Zhouwan, who had been so desperate to explain herself, suddenly went silent. She hung her head, the shadow obscuring her face. I couldn’t make out her expression, which was a shame.

The woman suddenly grabbed Yu Zhouwan by the neck and slammed her against the wall.

Yu Zhouwan grabbed her wrists, trying to push her away. I gasped, almost covering my mouth to keep from yelling out.

The woman’s hair rollers had come undone. As if possessed, she was completely oblivious that she was holding a life in her hands. I could almost see the thin muscles and veins in her arm as she squeezed with all her might.

Yu Zhouwan’s face contorted in pain, on the verge of collapsing from suffocation. I swallowed, planning to rush out and save her, when the woman suddenly loosened her fingers, letting Yu Zhouwan take a shallow breath. But before she could recover, the woman pulled Yu Zhouwan toward her, one hand on her collar and the other on the back of her head, and kissed her.