You Call This a Green Tea? - Chapter 1

In June, the midday sun hung in the sky like a furnace. The scorching light baked the earth, forcing pedestrians to instinctively duck under shop awnings to walk in the shade.

He Zhen walked out of a convenience store, gripping a bottle of mineral water that was still slick with condensation from the freezer. He raised his hand to shield his eyes from the sun as he waited for the light to turn green alongside a young girl who was staring at her phone.

The girl was tapping her screen with such force she looked as if she were arguing with someone; her face flickered with flashes of anger.

He Zhen, minding his own business, twisted the cap and gulped down half the bottle.

The girl’s phone suddenly rang. She answered it immediately, not even noticing that the light in front of her was yellow, not green. She stepped straight out into the middle of the road.

Seeing a car speeding toward them, He Zhen lunged forward to push the girl toward the opposite side of the street. Just as he shoved her out of harm’s way and felt a momentary surge of relief, he realized the car—as if it had eyes for him—swerved and headed straight for him.

Before blacking out, He Zhen thought he heard a scream, followed by a faint, grumbling complaint:

【Aaaaaah! Why is it a man?!】

He Zhen felt as if he had been tossed into a tumble dryer; his head was spinning. When he finally managed to open his eyes, he found himself lying on a sofa in a vast, white space.

Massaging his temples, He Zhen surveyed his surroundings—it didn’t look like a hospital, nor did it look like a cemetery. He was bewildered.

Heaven?

As he was weighing the possibilities, a sudden electronic voice rang out from nowhere: “Host, you’re finally awake!”

He Zhen followed the sound and looked down from the sofa to find a Ragdoll cat crouching there, its round eyes looking up at him with a fawning expression.

Seeing such a sycophantic look on a cute cat’s face, He Zhen instinctively grabbed it by the scruff of its neck and held it up in mid-air. “What kind of thing are you?”

The Ragdoll cat chuckled awkwardly. Unsure if He Zhen was insulting it, it quickly changed the subject: “That’s not important. The point is, the System was originally supposed to bind with the girl you saved. Who knew you’d push her away? The System ended up binding with you instead!”

The System was crying on the inside. It was supposed to be a female host, but this guy jumped out of nowhere! A man!

But it was too late. Since they were already bound, the System had to coax He Zhen into doing tasks. It had specifically transformed into a cat—a creature humans supposedly couldn’t resist!

He Zhen didn’t believe a word of it. Even with the cat disguise, he kept his guard up. “I have the anti-fraud app installed on my phone,” he said coldly.

Meaning: Don’t even try to scam me.

The “Ragdoll” stood up, put its front paws together in a prayer-like gesture, and said sincerely: “But Host, your original body was hit by a car. You’re currently in the hospital with critical injuries. If you complete tasks and earn enough points, you can regain a healthy body!”

He Zhen frowned at the news. It seemed if he ignored the System, he really would be heading to Heaven. Seeing him waver, the System struck while the iron was hot: “Please, Host! The tasks are really easy! Just follow the script, and you’ll earn enough points to heal yourself!”

As for the gender issue… the System decided to grit its teeth and manipulate the background data. It could always use some of He Zhen’s earned points to cover the discrepancy later.

He Zhen didn’t actually want to die just because he saved someone. It was just a few tasks; as long as they weren’t immoral, he didn’t mind. Besides, this whole “System” business was a bit intriguing.

“Fine, I’ll do it. What kind of system are you? I need to prepare,” He Zhen said, releasing the cat. The Ragdoll scrambled to its feet. He had asked casually, but the System hesitated for a long time.

“Speak,” He Zhen pressured, sensing something was off.

The System whispered shyly, “It’s… the Green Tea System.”

He Zhen gripped the cat by the back of its neck and stood up. His 192cm frame felt suffocating in the small space, his voice dropping to a dark, ominous tone: “Say that again. You’re a what system?”

“Yuan-er, you dragged me to the airport this early… who exactly are we picking up?” Sheng Junwen yawned, looking at his childhood friend, Zhuo Luyuan, with dark circles under his eyes.

Zhuo Luyuan was the sole heir of the Zhuo family—gorgeous but hot-tempered. Sheng Junwen figured someone he’d pick up personally must be important, but Zhuo Luyuan just looked annoyed. “The one from the He family.”

“The He family?” Sheng Junwen searched his brain but couldn’t think of any He that Luyuan liked.

“The little ‘Green Tea Spirit’ who used to wear twin pigtails and follow me around everywhere,” Zhuo Luyuan reminded him irritably.

Sheng Junwen’s eyes snapped wide. “He Zhenzhen is back?! Why didn’t you say so? Didn’t she move abroad years ago? Why are you picking her up?”

“My mom made me. You know what she’s like. If I didn’t come, I’d never hear the end of it.” Zhuo Luyuan checked his watch. Why hadn’t this damn plane landed yet?

Remembering their childhood, Sheng Junwen shuddered.

He Zhenzhen was the girl next door. Their mothers were best friends. Back then, He Zhenzhen was a cute little girl who followed Zhuo Luyuan around calling him “Big Brother” this and “Big Brother” that.

But it was all an act.

If anyone else tried to play with Zhuo Luyuan, He Zhenzhen would start with the “Green Tea” comments—acting hurt and fragile until the other person looked like a bully. Zhuo Luyuan would always end up being scolded by his mother. No one dared mess with her.

Sheng Junwen was the only exception because he was too dim-witted to realize she was manipulating them. He was actually looking forward to seeing her—surely she’d grown up to be a beauty, considering her mother was a famous actress.

“Wake me up when they come out,” Zhuo Luyuan muttered, closing his eyes to nap.

The “beauty” in question, He Zhen, was currently on the plane.

The Ragdoll cat, invisible to others, was sprawled in He Zhen’s lap, marveling at the luxury of first class.

He Zhen, meanwhile, was focused on the mission. “My identity is sorted?”

“Yep!” The System nodded. “The ‘Green Tea Supporting Female’ role has been changed to a male role. Just follow the script, and once the Lead Couple gets together, you’re free!”

He Zhen was wearing a perfectly tailored suit and decorative gold-rimmed glasses. He looked elegant and refined. Even the System was impressed: “Host, you’re so handsome. You could be the Main Lead, let alone a supporting character.”

He Zhen sneered, pinching the cat’s tail. “Too bad I’m a Green Tea.”

“Wake up! Her flight landed!” Sheng Junwen shook Zhuo Luyuan awake and pushed him toward the arrivals gate.

Zhuo Luyuan, still half-asleep, rubbed his eyes. He didn’t notice what Sheng Junwen was holding until he walked forward and found his path blocked by a tall man.

“Excuse me,” Zhuo Luyuan muttered, trying to move around him, but the man stepped in his way again. Annoyed, Zhuo Luyuan snapped, “Sir, what are you doing?”

Zhuo Luyuan was 185cm (6’1″), but the man in front of him was half a head taller and showed no intention of moving. His gaze shifted to the banner Sheng Junwen was holding.

In giant letters, it read: WELCOME HOME, LITTLE SISTER HE ZHENZHEN.

Zhuo Luyuan wanted to die. He’d only slept for forty minutes—where did his idiot friend get that banner? He snatched it away, folding it up to hide the words.

But the tall man didn’t leave. Just as Zhuo Luyuan was about to ask him what he wanted, the man spoke:

“Yuan-yuan Gege (Big Brother)?”

Hearing a 192cm stranger call him by his childhood nickname, Zhuo Luyuan recoiled in horror. “Who are you? Why did you call me that?”

The System’s electronic voice screamed in He Zhen’s head: 【Host! The plot is here! Seize the moment!】

The script appeared in He Zhen’s mind:

[He Zhenzhen lowers her head shyly, her voice coquettish, her eyes full of sorrow: “I’ve been abroad so long, it’s normal for Yuan-yuan Gege to forget me. I’m He Zhenzhen.”]

He Zhen bargained internally: “I’ll say the lines, but I refuse the facial expressions.”

The System pleaded: “Just endure it for now! You can buy ‘expression-free’ mode later with points!”

He Zhen suppressed his shame, lowered his head to hide his grimace, and ground out the words: “I’ve been abroad so long… it’s normal for Yuan-yuan… Gege… to forget me. I’m He Zhenzhen.”

This is He Zhenzhen?!

Zhuo Luyuan and Sheng Junwen stared at the 6’3″ hunk in front of them.

Zhuo Luyuan was in shock. His “little sister” was now a man who looked like he could bench-press him.

Sheng Junwen was the first to find his voice, his finger trembling as he pointed: “Weren’t you a little girl? How did you…”

He Zhen calmly came up with an excuse: “My mother wanted a girl. I just wore dresses as a kid to make her happy.”

“Let me reintroduce myself,” he added smoothly. “I’m He Zhen.”