A Friend I've Loved for a Long Time - Chapter 26

Yun Zhi’s gaze was clean and sincere, though tinged with a faint trace of hesitation and conflict. Her eyes were complex, but they held everything except expectation and love.

Yu Mingxia understood the answer Yun Zhi wanted to hear. Her voice softened. “Have you forgotten what you said before?”

“Huh?” Instead of getting an answer, Yun Zhi was met with a question, leaving her a bit dazed.

“As long as we don’t misunderstand each other, it’s fine.”

Yu Mingxia’s words jogged Yun Zhi’s memory, bringing back the conversation they’d had.

“Ah… sorry, I forgot.” That definitely means she doesn’t like me, Yun Zhi thought. She felt ridiculous for forgetting her own words and then narcissistically asking if the other person had feelings for her.

Yun Zhi: “…” She desperately wanted to find a hole in the ground to crawl into.

But as awkward as it was, an apology was necessary.

“Sorry about that, don’t take what I just said to heart,” Yun Zhi said, straightening her back. “You’re right. As long as we don’t misunderstand each other, it’s fine.”

Though she felt embarrassed, she also let out a sigh of relief.

Yu Mingxia saw all of this. As expected, that was the answer she wanted to hear.

Yu Mingxia lowered her eyes. She wasn’t exactly heartbroken; it would have been stranger if Yun Zhi, fresh off her own “breakup,” was hoping for a confession of love.

“Yun Zhi, you’re making me feel like I’m a terrible person,” Yu Mingxia said with a light, half-joking chuckle.

Yun Zhi froze, realizing her relief had been far too obvious, as if she were terrified of the idea of Yu Mingxia liking her. Though, in truth, she was.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Yun Zhi bit her lip, whispering, “It’s just that we’re friends… and I don’t want to lose another friend.”

Yu Mingxia was stunned by those words. After a moment, she asked, “Is it that serious?”

“Mm,” Yun Zhi gave a bitter smile. “Otherwise, should we let things stay ambiguous?”

All the way from the commercial center, Yun Zhi had wondered many times what she would do if she were in Nan Qiao’s shoes. She thought that if she didn’t like someone, she wouldn’t want to waste their time. She would likely choose to distance herself and, once the time was right, see if fate allowed them to be friends again.

Yu Mingxia felt a sudden surge of relief, but also felt that Yun Zhi was incredibly decisive. It was clear that Nan Qiao had wounded her deeply. Thinking of this made Yu Mingxia’s mood darken; she felt both regret and pain. Perhaps she should have been braver back then.

Seeing Yun Zhi staring at her in silence, Yu Mingxia guiltily averted her eyes and murmured, “Fortunately, I have someone I like.”

“Oh, right!” Yun Zhi snapped out of it and slapped her forehead in regret. “What was I talking about just now?”

That wedding dress wasn’t just for show. After liking someone else for over a decade, how could she suddenly fall for someone she’d known for less than a month? I really think too highly of myself, Yun Zhi thought, feeling even more embarrassed.

“Just pretend you didn’t hear that. I’m heading home now.”

Based on her past understanding of Yu Mingxia, she expected her to say “it’s okay,” so Yun Zhi planned to make a run for it as soon as she finished speaking. Unexpectedly, she heard Yu Mingxia’s slow, deliberate reply:

“I can’t do that. I’ve already heard it, and it made me quite sad.”

Yun Zhi’s escape was cut short. She turned back to look at Yu Mingxia in surprise, even glancing around the area, doubting those words had actually come from her. Seeing the unconcealed shock on her face, Yu Mingxia let out a sudden laugh. She really wears her heart on her sleeve.

“I’m hungry. Accompany me for a late-night snack to soothe the hurt of being rejected by you.”

Yu Mingxia’s voice was gentle, sounding particularly clear and pleasant amidst the chirping of summer insects.

But… “I wasn’t rejecting you! My brain just short-circuited. I was worried I’d accidentally done something wrong, you know?”

Yun Zhi followed behind her, explaining desperately for fear she would misunderstand.

Yu Mingxia turned and opened the passenger door. “Mm-hmm. Get in the car.”

She sounded like she both believed her and didn’t.

Yun Zhi sat in the passenger seat and buckled up. When Yu Mingxia got into the driver’s seat, she whispered again, “Really, I’m not lying. It’s just that after everything I’ve been through, I know how much that hurts. So…”

Yu Mingxia’s hand paused on her seatbelt. Realizing these were scars left by what she had suffered, Yu Mingxia’s dislike for Nan Qiao deepened. She couldn’t help but interrupt: “Zhizhi, you’re not like her. Don’t apply every theory to yourself. Different species have different levels of compatibility, you know?”

Different… species?

Yun Zhi blinked. What did she just hear? Was Yu Mingxia… insulting someone?

“There are some food stalls out here. Is it okay if we go there?”

Yu Mingxia’s attitude was relaxed, her tone casual and warm, as if the previous comment hadn’t come from her at all. Yun Zhi nodded blankly.

As the car started and the scenery began to retreat outside the window, Yun Zhi stole a glance at Yu Mingxia’s calm profile. Yu Mingxia seemed a bit angry just now, but her voice was still so gentle. How cool.

After a moment, Yun Zhi realized this was no time to be starstruck. She cleared her throat and looked away.

The food stalls were less than a kilometer from Yun Zhi’s home. It was a lively area, crowded even late at night. Yun Zhi wasn’t a gourmet, but she loved spicy food.

They found a spot to sit. Just as they were about to sit down, Yun Zhi remembered something and stopped.

“Maybe we should go somewhere else? There are a few more shops down this way that serve lighter food.”

Hearing this, Yu Mingxia understood the reason immediately. She reached out and grabbed Yun Zhi’s wrist. “I’m not that fragile. Sit down.”

One sitting and one standing, Yun Zhi looked at Yu Mingxia holding her wrist with some surprise. If she remembered correctly, this was the first time Yu Mingxia had proactively reached out to her, and her ears weren’t even red.

Yu Mingxia didn’t let go; instead, she let her observe with poise. “Sit. The owner is coming.”

Yun Zhi sat down blankly. She felt like something about Yu Mingxia had changed.

Since it was late, they didn’t order much. Yu Mingxia had only brought her here because it was lively; it was better than being home alone. Once things go quiet, people tend to overthink. Based on the question Yun Zhi had asked earlier, her concern was justified.

The summer night breeze was cool and comfortable. The street was lit with bus stop advertisements and neon signs from roadside shops. The noise of the crowd—laughter and chatter—filled the air. This area was near the university district, so there were many young people. From the moment they sat down, they attracted a lot of attention.

Yun Zhi propped her chin on her hand, observing the surroundings and feeling the cool breeze on her face. At that moment, a girl approached her and asked cautiously, “Sister, can I have your WeChat?”

The person who froze first wasn’t Yun Zhi, but Yu Mingxia. She had forgotten about this possibility.

Seeing someone hit on Yun Zhi, Yu Mingxia’s gaze turned cold. Just as she was about to help her out, she heard another woman’s voice asking the same thing—but this time, it was directed at her.

The request was late but the rejection was direct.

While Yun Zhi was still searching for the right words, Yu Mingxia had already said no. With a reference answer in front of her, Yun Zhi followed suit and rejected the girl.

Several men came by later with the same goal. Some even asked directly if they wanted to date. As it happened more frequently, Yu Mingxia’s initial annoyance turned into composure. Every single one of them was rejected by Yun Zhi.

“Rejected them all?” Yu Mingxia asked.

“Mm-hmm.”

Just then, the waiter placed the food on the table. The aroma was mouth-watering. Yun Zhi touched her stomach, feeling the hunger pangs. She hadn’t eaten in six hours, but the food made her realize how hungry she was.

It was funny; after running into Nan Qiao, she’d specifically gone out for a good meal just to calm down.

“Don’t you want to try?” Yu Mingxia asked tentatively.

“Try what?” Yun Zhi dazed for a few seconds before realizing. “In my current state, it’s not appropriate to jump into a new relationship.”

She could give up on Nan Qiao, but that didn’t mean she could immediately commit to someone else. It wouldn’t be fair to the next person. Besides, to her, romance wasn’t a necessity.

“When will it be appropriate?” Yu Mingxia asked, pretending to be casual.

Yun Zhi took a bite of a skewer, unaware of anything unusual. “I’m not sure. When the time is right?”

Yu Mingxia hadn’t been hungry, but seeing Yun Zhi eat gave her an appetite. She took a bite as well.

The owner then brought a plate of crawfish. Yun Zhi reached out tentatively but pulled back before touching them. I really want them, but they’re so much trouble. I’ll wait until I’ve had enough of everything else, she planned.

Yun Zhi’s thoughts were written all over her face. Yu Mingxia saw it all.

“Can I have a drink?” Yun Zhi asked, seeing beer bottles on the surrounding tables.

“Of course.” Yu Mingxia was happy she’d asked.

“Then if I get drunk, remember to take me home. 7-11-5, fingerprint unlock.” Yun Zhi said seriously, clearly having a profound understanding of her own alcohol tolerance.

“Okay.” Yu Mingxia was stuck between laughter and tears, but she knew Yun Zhi was unhappy today. If alcohol could act as a numbing agent and help her forget things for a while, so be it.

But in reality, Yun Zhi just felt the occasion called for a small drink. She had already mostly forgotten the earlier incidents. Yun Zhi opened a bottle and filled two glasses. Just as she sat back down, she saw her small bowl was already filled with peeled crawfish meat.

Yun Zhi looked up and then down. Yu Mingxia was still peeling the shrimp for her with a gentle expression. Yun Zhi was moved. “Oh, thank you!”

Yu Mingxia chuckled, not understanding how someone could be this cute. She pulled a tissue from the box and reached out. Yun Zhi sat there blankly as the tissue touched the corner of her lips. Yu Mingxia’s movements were light, her eyes tender as she carefully wiped a smudge of oil from Yun Zhi’s face, treating her like a precious treasure.

Yun Zhi shook her head, remembering the earlier misunderstanding, and forced herself not to overthink. Normal friends act like this, right? She thought of Jiang Yan’an and the old Nan Qiao. Maybe she’d just gone too long without a new best friend, so she was overreacting? Besides, Yu Mingxia was gentle by nature; there was nothing strange about it.

“I don’t think I’ve asked before—how are things going with you and the person you like?” Yun Zhi asked carefully.

Yu Mingxia tossed the tissue into the trash. “No progress,” she replied softly.

Yun Zhi let out an “Oh,” thinking she’d touched a sore spot. She was about to apologize when she heard:

“Actually, my situation is quite similar to yours right now.”

Yun Zhi waited silently for her next words. Since her own situation was objectively not great, if Mingxia’s was similar, didn’t that mean it was also quite tragic?

“Are you planning to give up on that person?” Yu Mingxia asked.

Yun Zhi nodded.

“Then my situation is similar.” Yu Mingxia lowered her eyes, avoiding her gaze. She knew clearly that in this situation, a direct pursuit would be useless.

“You’re also preparing to give up?” Yun Zhi was surprised. She thought of the wedding dress and the “ten years” she’d heard from others, feeling a sense of pity.

Yu Mingxia gave a soft “Mm,” her voice almost inaudible.

Suddenly, the food on the table felt tasteless to Yun Zhi. She remembered when Yu Mingxia had hugged her for the second time on the path. She’d said she was very sad. She must have been thinking about that person then.

Though she didn’t know the specifics of what had happened, in her eyes, Yu Mingxia was wonderful—perfect as a friend, let alone a lover.

“Would you be angry if I said she was detestable?” Yun Zhi grit her teeth.

She didn’t understand why this made Yu Mingxia laugh so happily. It seemed like she was happy because of the comment, yet not entirely.

Because she said, “Better not.”

Yun Zhi pouted and went back to her food. Her bowl was filling with more and more shrimp meat. She looked up at Yu Mingxia. “Then it’s her loss. I’m the one getting all the benefits.” She pointed at her bowl.

Yu Mingxia looked at her and smiled dotingly. But Yun Zhi didn’t notice, because her eyes and heart were only on the crawfish.

“Yun Zhi,” Yu Mingxia suddenly called her name.

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever thought about finding someone to accompany you through this period? Someone to be there when you’re sad, someone to help you when you’re missing her or feeling tempted to go back?” Yu Mingxia asked seriously. This was the only “shortcut” she could think of.

Yun Zhi dazed for a few seconds, thinking she was being encouraged to date to distract herself. “I really don’t want to date right now. It wouldn’t be fair to the other person, and I don’t need it. I can handle this myself.”

This time, she was truly determined not to go back. She would be melancholy, sad, or confused, but she wouldn’t go back.

Yu Mingxia fell silent.

Yun Zhi thought of Mingxia’s words again and asked hesitantly, “Are you thinking about dating to move on from your feelings?” She wondered if Mingxia wasn’t asking about her thoughts, but seeking advice. “But Mingxia, that’s not really forgetting. It’s just escaping. And it might make things even more awkward later, wouldn’t it? What about the person you’d be leading on?”

Yun Zhi analyzed it seriously, though she didn’t think Yu Mingxia was that kind of person. Yu Mingxia poured herself a cup of tea and took a slow sip in silence. Yun Zhi worried she’d been too harsh. Every situation is different. What if Yu Mingxia found a “partner” who was suitable and didn’t mind?

Wait… suitable and wouldn’t mind.

Yun Zhi frowned. Why do I feel like I’d be quite suitable?

So, Yu Mingxia meant…?

Yu Mingxia set down her tea and looked at her, her voice gentle. “Is it possible?”

Is it possible? Those three words repeated in Yun Zhi’s ears. She wouldn’t doubt Yu Mingxia’s intentions; she could feel the warmth was real. Yu Mingxia was being completely open with her, even telling her directly about this idea.

“You mean… a fake relationship?” Yun Zhi managed to force the words out.

It made sense. Yu Mingxia didn’t like her, and she didn’t like Yu Mingxia. Yu Mingxia knew she’d just broken up and wanted to give up on Nan Qiao. And she knew Yu Mingxia wanted to give up on the person she’d loved for ten years. Their goals were the same. They could even be said to be using each other.

“A relationship in name only.” On the surface, Yu Mingxia was calm, but inside, her heart was racing. This was the only way she could boldly intervene between her and Nan Qiao. Perhaps she had waited too long; this opportunity prompted her to take a risky gamble.

Based on Nan Qiao’s past character, she wouldn’t let Yun Zhi go. She might not love Yun Zhi, but Yun Zhi wasn’t allowed to not love her, and she wasn’t allowed to let anyone else love Yun Zhi. Yu Mingxia knew that was Nan Qiao’s despicable trait.

Yun Zhi was a mess. She even began to regret not going straight upstairs earlier, and wondered why she’d come out for snacks. She looked at the full glass of alcohol on the table, then at her empty teacup, and asked weakly, “Is there alcohol in your tea? Are you drunk?”

Based on her understanding of Yu Mingxia, these didn’t sound like things she would say.

“I’m seriously considering a solution, Yun Zhi,” Yu Mingxia replied.

Yun Zhi: “…”

To be honest, she was a little tempted. If she were to date anyone else, she’d be afraid of wasting their time. But when the person was Yu Mingxia, who had the same troubles, she felt a stir. And they were friends; helping a friend was the right thing to do, just like Yu Mingxia had hugged and comforted her earlier.

But… “If I refuse…” Yun Zhi tested.

Yu Mingxia’s eyes darkened. “Then just pretend I’m drunk and talking nonsense. We’ll still be best friends.”

“If I agree, what happens later?” Yun Zhi asked anxiously.

“We’ll worry about ‘later’ later. The only thing I can guarantee is that you will always be an important person to me.”

Yu Mingxia’s serious expression left her in a daze. It meant that regardless of what happened, they would be friends. Instead of “using each other,” it was more like “healing each other’s heartbreak.”

In the end, Yun Zhi bit her lip and stopped asking. “Let me think about it.”

Yun Zhi didn’t expect her insomnia tonight to be caused by Yu Mingxia. All night, she slept fitfully, her mind filled with Yu Mingxia’s words. Though she was sleep-deprived, the effect was clear. Not once did she think of Nan Qiao; she didn’t even have the time to remember her name in her dreams.

It wasn’t until she woke up the next morning that her brain stalled. She couldn’t remember why Yu Mingxia would say such a thing, and it was only by working backward that she remembered Nan Qiao.

Yun Zhi slapped her forehead. Yu Mingxia had only made a suggestion; the choice was hers. Agree or refuse, they were still friends. Yu Mingxia hadn’t pressured her.

But what troubled her more was: Yu Mingxia was too good. So good it was scary. What if she accidentally fell for her for real? She didn’t want to go through that again.

Yun Zhi collapsed back onto the bed, burying her head in the pillow. “Someone save me,” she whispered.

Falling back asleep made her late for work. It was nearly 10:00 AM when she reached the office. The thirteenth-floor corridor was empty as usual. Yun Zhi took a deep breath and opened the office door. She was about to say hello, but her hand dropped.

Yu Mingxia wasn’t there. Sitting at the desk instead was Yu Chuxue.

“Where’s Mingxia?” Yun Zhi took two steps back and looked out into the hall. Still no sign of her.

Yu Chuxue didn’t even look up as she flipped a page of her fashion magazine. “I heard you and Mingxia went to a concert together last night?”

“Mm, what about it?” Just a concert; it was no big deal. Chuxue likely heard it from Mingxia.

“Nothing. I just thought it was strange. My sister never liked crowded places. Who would’ve thought…” Yu Chuxue trailed off.

Since her initial impression of Yu Chuxue wasn’t great, Yun Zhi still didn’t like her much and only maintained a surface level of politeness. Hearing this felt a bit sarcastic to her.

“Mingxia used to be very introverted. she didn’t like socializing and didn’t have many friends. Seeing her care so much about you makes me happy as her sister.”

The sudden shift in attitude left Yun Zhi momentarily dazed.

“Aside from work, she rarely expresses her thoughts. I’m her sister, but she doesn’t tell me many things. I don’t know when she’s happy or sad, so I wanted to ask for your help,” Yu Chuxue continued. “If she ever says something to you, can you let me know? Maybe I can help her when she’s sad.”

When Chuxue saw Mingxia this morning, she didn’t seem happy. Logically, after going to a concert with her crush, she should be. But instead, she seemed full of regret, as if she’d done something wrong. Chuxue could guess it had something to do with Yun Zhi.

While she spoke, she observed Yun Zhi’s expression. Seeing her purse her lips, Chuxue knew she’d guessed right. Without waiting for an answer, she pointed toward the nearby exhibition room.

“She’s in the exhibition room. she looks sad and won’t let me in. Could you go check on her?”

Chuxue’s request was gentle, making Yun Zhi revise her opinion of her slightly. She nodded and went to the exhibition room. No one was in the main room, so she had to be in the hidden one.

Is she in there with the wedding dress? Is she missing that person?

Yun Zhi sighed and knocked on the hidden door, calling her name. After a moment, the door opened. As she expected, Yu Mingxia was there looking at her collection, appearing very sad.

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with huddling together for warmth, Yun Zhi thought. She let out a sigh.

“I’ve thought over what you said yesterday.”

“The thing is, I’m worried—”

“What if I really fall in love with you? What should I do then?”