Chapter 30

After changing into soft, lightweight loungewear, Shen Juan came downstairs and saw the cookies scattered all over the floor. A few had even cracked from the fall.

There was only one person and one ghost in the house. Shen Juan did not need to ask to know who had done it.

Gu Shuge was already very dejected from not getting the result she wanted, but now she still had to explain to Shen Juan why she had thrown the cookies on the floor. She actually was not very good at lying. Back then, when she had insisted on going abroad, Gu Yi’an had asked her to give a reason, and no matter how she turned it over in her mind, all she could say was that she was going there to study. She could not come up with any other excuse.

After she went abroad, she really did study earnestly for four years, as if she were making that lie true.

Shen Juan walked over, and Gu Shuge took a step back. Shen Juan stopped in front of the cookies, her tone helpless. “Why did you suddenly throw a tantrum?”

Gu Shuge widened her eyes. Then she realized Shen Juan thought she had thrown the cookies because she was having a temper. The matter of using butter cookies for divination to calculate whether Shen Juan liked her definitely could not be said, so Gu Shuge fell silent, pretending to tacitly admit she had been throwing a tantrum.

Shen Juan said nothing more. She bent down, picked up the cookies, threw them into the trash, wiped the floor again, then washed her hands before returning to sit down.

“Come here,” Shen Juan said.

Gu Shuge walked over and sat on her left side, then tapped Shen Juan’s left hand to show that she was here.

Shen Juan was already very used to speaking to the air. Knowing Gu Shuge was on this side, she turned slightly to the left and asked, “What made you unhappy enough to bully the little cookies?”

I didn’t do it on purpose, Gu Shuge quietly argued in her heart. Then she wrote three words in Shen Juan’s palm: “I’m sorry.”

Shen Juan had not been blaming her in the first place. She was only concerned about what had made her unhappy. Once Gu Shuge apologized, Shen Juan could not bear to say anything to her even more. She was somewhat at a loss. She also remembered that the words she had said outside the temple, “someone very special,” had not received any response yet.

Originally, she had planned to use that sentence to test Xiao Ge’s reaction. But before they left, the monk’s final words had left her somewhat unsettled. She had begun to reflect on whether there was any meaning in making Xiao Ge stay.

Shen Juan fell into silence. Gu Shuge shifted uneasily and wrote in her palm, character by character, “I won’t throw cookies around anymore.”

Shen Juan smiled and was about to say that it was all right, but she suddenly remembered what the monk had said: Whatever the little ghost feared most while alive, the evil thoughts would fear as well.

In that case, the reason the evil thought did not dare appear was not because of the amulet pouch, but because of her. But had Xiao Ge been very afraid of her while alive?

Shen Juan called, “Xiao Ge.”

Gu Shuge looked toward her.

But Shen Juan felt somewhat irritated. She could not see Xiao Ge, could not see her expression, and could not be sure what kind of gaze Xiao Ge was looking at her with. Shen Juan steadied herself and did not reveal her frustration. In a calm voice, she asked, “Are you afraid of me?”

Gu Shuge immediately drew a very large cross in Shen Juan’s palm. After drawing it, her brows drooped again. She was not afraid of Shen Juan, but she was afraid that if she turned bad, Shen Juan would stop liking her. Whether it was hiding her love or leaving for four years, it was all because she was afraid Shen Juan would hate her.

She remembered a Sunday after she had overheard her brother propose to Shen Juan.

She had spent the entire day in the library. Originally, she had wanted to finish her assignments, but after a whole day, she had only kept spacing out and had done nothing. Naturally, her assignments had not been completed.

At dusk, she returned home.

It had been autumn then. Their family’s garden was beautiful all year round, and its autumn scenery was golden, very much like a gouache painting. After returning home, she walked back to her bedroom and stood by the window. She saw the backyard. Shen Juan was sitting on the swing, while her brother stood to the side. They were talking.

The swing was not moving. Shen Juan had lifted her head to look at her brother. Her brother was wearing a white shirt, the sleeves rolled up. The setting sun shone on him, making even his smile seem very gentle.

Gu Shuge clearly felt that in that instant, she was jealous. Yet she could restrain her emotions without a change in expression, quietly push open the window, press herself beneath it, and listen to their conversation.

“Have you thought it through? Don’t keep hesitating.” Her brother’s tone carried a little complaint.

Only after a while did Shen Juan say, “I’m worried about Xiao Ge.”

Her brother said strangely, “What is there to worry about with Xiao Ge? She definitely listens to you.”

Shen Juan did not speak.

“I know you’re worried Xiao Ge won’t accept it, but if we talk to her properly, there’s nothing that can’t work. It’s good for everyone if we get married.” Her brother began to joke. “At most, outsiders will laugh and say that when my father brought you home back then, it was to raise you as my child bride.”

Shen Juan smiled too. “What nonsense are you saying?”

Gu Shuge felt the hatred that surged through her in that instant. Why could they speak to each other like that? Shen Juan was clearly supposed to be hers. Then she wondered why her brother had to compete with her. Her feelings for Shen Juan were already so obvious. Could her brother not see them?

That hatred was so intense that even she herself was startled.

That was the first time she realized she could no longer stay at home. She was afraid that the more she saw Shen Juan and her brother interacting, the more twisted her heart would become.

She loved Shen Juan so much. She simply could not calmly watch Shen [stolen content]Juan fall in love with someone else.

If jealousy made her twisted, extreme, and resentful, Shen Juan would definitely dislike her.

It was at that moment that she decided to leave.

Gu Shuge wrote in Shen Juan’s palm, “I’m not afraid of you. I’m afraid of becoming bad and making you hate me.”

Over those four years, she had thought many times about letting go. She had even imagined that on some day in the future, she would fall in love with someone else. But no matter how she imagined it, no matter how outstanding she imagined that person to be, she discovered that she still could not like her. Her love seemed to have become something exclusive to Shen Juan. Aside from Shen Juan, no one could take it away. Not even in a hypothetical scenario.

“I won’t hate you,” Shen Juan said.

Gu Shuge lifted her head and looked at her. Shen Juan’s eyes were like a starry sky, points of light shimmering inside them.

Gu Shuge suddenly felt all the tightness in her chest that had built up because of the past disappear. She smiled and said, “Of course. Look, I never became bad. I went far away, and once I couldn’t see it, I wouldn’t be jealous. I would never let you hate me.”

She lowered her head and wrote the word “Okay” in Shen Juan’s palm.

After confirming that Gu Shuge was not afraid of her, Shen Juan also smiled. Aside from Read on BaiLianTales eating a little in the morning, she had not eaten all day and had long been hungry.

There was dinner in the dining room that the servants had prepared before leaving. It had simply gone cold. Shen Juan heated it up and casually made do with it.

Gu Shuge originally wanted to say that maybe Shen Juan should keep two servants living in the house, so she could have hot meals. But thinking that with her here, having two more people in the house would make it inconvenient for Shen Juan to talk to her.

So she could only remain tangled and silent.

Their fixed routine every night was to wait until midnight, then record how long Gu Shuge could be sensed. But tonight, Gu Shuge successfully persuaded Shen Juan to go to sleep. Early tomorrow morning, they had to get up early and go to Bailong Temple.

Bailong Temple was located in Yanjing’s urban area, and its location was quite good. Because of this, it had many worshippers, flourishing incense offerings, and was also one of Yanjing’s famous tourist attractions.

Bailong Temple had a long history and had produced many renowned Dharma masters, ancient and modern. Its current abbot was also very respected in religious circles.

Shen Juan had contacted the person in charge of Bailong Temple early in the morning. When she arrived with Gu Shuge, several monks were already waiting in front of the gate.

Gu Shuge nervously followed behind Shen Juan. Those monks greeted people with smiles, reciting Buddhist invocations with their palms together as they greeted Shen Juan. Gu Shuge paid attention and discovered that two among these monks did not even have ordination scars on their heads. Her fear of monks immediately lessened by more than half.

Bailong Temple’s mountain gate was far grander than Guangping Temple’s. The red paint on the temple walls looked brand new, giving off a splendid, wealthy sense of magnificence. Shen Juan stepped through the temple gate, then stopped. Seeing her stop, the monks were surprised, but they did not urge her on and stopped with her.

Only after Shen Juan felt her palm being scratched did she continue forward.

Before coming, they had discussed it. If Bailong Temple also had a barrier and refused to let Gu Shuge enter, then Shen Juan would borrow the ancient texts from the sutra library and read them outside. Although that would be more troublesome, it was not impossible. If Gu Shuge could enter, then of course that was better and would save them a great deal of effort.

Scratching Shen Juan’s palm meant that Gu Shuge had also stepped through the temple gate.

After visiting an ancient temple protected by Buddhist light, it was very difficult to feel reverence for this large temple that only looked impressive on the surface. Shen Juan offered incense in the Mahavira Hall, then went directly to the sutra library.

Lin Mo had already negotiated with the temple. Shen Juan could stay in the sutra library for five days and browse through any scriptures she wished. Aside from bringing food and water, the monks in the temple were not to disturb her.

After Shen Juan entered the sutra library, Lin Mo left as well, and the monks also dispersed. The monks of Bailong Temple had naturally guessed whether Shen Juan, leaving such a large company unmanaged and coming to stay in their sutra library for five days under the name of quiet cultivation, might be searching for something.

But for one thing, all the ancient texts in the sutra library had catalogues. They had been passed down for thousands of years, and no one had ever heard of any treasure hidden there. For another, they had agreed that among the texts in the library, Chairman Shen could copy out anything she liked, but she could not take away a single scripture.

With this arrangement, even if there really were some treasure, the monks were not afraid it would be lost.

The sutra library had three floors and covered a fairly large area, roughly the size of a small library. The moment Shen [read the original at bailiantales.com]Juan walked in, she smelled quiet sandalwood incense and the bookish fragrance of texts passed down for thousands of years. The two blended together, and the atmosphere instantly became tranquil, as if a calmness spanning millennia flowed through the air.

There was dust on the floor. It was not thick, but one could still tell that the monks of the temple rarely came here.

Shen Juan first inspected each floor from top to bottom, and only after confirming that there were no cameras inside did she speak. She first called, “Xiao Ge.”

The little ghost immediately drew a circle in her palm to show that she was there.

Shen Juan smiled and then asked, “Do you feel uncomfortable being here?” There were many Buddha statues in the temple, and incense and candles had been lit. Bronze mirrors were hung everywhere. She did not know whether any of these would harm Xiao Ge’s soul-body.

Gu Shuge felt nothing at all and floated normally beside Shen Juan. She wrote in Shen Juan’s palm, “No.”

Since there was nothing, Shen Juan felt reassured. She smiled, then looked around at the layers of bookshelves and felt a little troubled. “There are so many books. If I’d known, we should have asked for more time.” Three floors of ancient texts—even if they only flipped through each book once, five days might not be enough.

Seeing her rarely reveal a troubled expression, Gu Shuge laughed and wrote in her palm, “Do your best!”

The worry between Shen Juan’s brows dispersed.

First, she browsed through what collections each floor had. Fortunately, although there were many books, they were arranged by category, which made searching through them not difficult. After browsing around, they discovered that the collections here were very rich. There were not only scriptures, but also legends, myths, and even quite a few Daoist and Confucian classics.

It displayed Buddhism’s capacity to embrace all.

Gu Shuge found it quite interesting. She and Shen Juan had already discussed last night where to begin.

Since they were searching for a method to cultivate a physical body, they would first begin with subjects related to ghost cultivation and Buddhist cultivation, looking for related myths, legends, secret manuals, scriptures, and similar things.

It was just that these would definitely not be easy to find.

Gu Shuge had already witnessed how difficult scriptures were to understand when Shen Juan read The Original Vows Sutra a few days ago. But that experience was nowhere near as profound as it was now. Sentence after sentence, passage after passage—the scripture was so obscure and difficult, and some parts were simply incomprehensible. After only a few pages, it made her drowsy.

Shen Juan, however, read with full concentration, even placing paper nearby to take notes.

They read for the entire day but gained nothing.

They still had no clues at all about where spiritual energy came from, how yin ghosts cultivated, or how a physical body could be obtained.

Shen Juan was not discouraged either. She comforted Gu Shuge, “We’ve only looked through one small corner. There are still so many ancient Read on BaiLianTalestexts here. We’ll definitely find something.”

Gu Shuge wrote “Mm!” in her palm.

After dinner, with the lamps lit, they continued struggling.

At a little past nine, in a book of myths and legends Shen Juan had dug out from a corner, she saw a passage about the benefits of fresh blood for forging the soul-body.