After Transmigrating as a Beta, I Got Messed Up with an Alpha (BL) - Chapter 27

I blame this world’s strange gender settings; it makes me hesitate even when entering a male Alpha’s locker room.

We’re all guys, after all.

Pei Yule circled the entrance of the Alpha locker room. Several times he was on the verge of going in, but seeing people pass by and fearing a misunderstanding, he withdrew his foot, circling again somewhat dejectedly.

When he thought about it carefully, it was just an Alpha locker room, not an Omega one. It shouldn’t matter even if people knew he went inside, right? It’s not like he could actually do anything to an Alpha.

Having rationalized this, Pei Yule decided to stop overthinking. He moved toward the door again, reaching for the handle to see if Huo Juan was inside.

Suddenly—swish!

The locker room door was pulled open from the inside.

Pei Yule’s hand nearly brushed against the waist of the person opening the door. He scrambled to retract his hand and looked up. A familiar handsome face entered his vision; the other man had his eyes lowered, looking at him intently, appearing completely unsurprised.

It was Huo Juan.

“Uh.” Facing him so abruptly, Pei Yule felt a jolt despite being mentally prepared. Seeing Huo Juan’s face—which looked even colder than usual—he couldn’t help but remember the man’s furrowed brow and bulging veins from that day. Pei Yule felt a lingering sense of dread; heaven knows how much effort it took to keep himself from taking a step back.

The other man wasn’t a talkative person. As they stood face-to-face, Pei Yule remembered the look he’d given him at the archery range and the sight of his retreating back. This man was clever; just from the way Pei Yule had shaken off his hand, he probably knew the memories had returned.

“Sorry about just now.”

Pei Yule was the first to break the silence. He rubbed his nose and said, “I remembered what happened that day. I was just… startled for a moment.”

“…”

Huo Juan didn’t speak. His deep eyes remained fixed on Pei Yule for a while before he finally asked, “Not afraid now?”

Pei Yule hesitated, then answered honestly, “Afraid… of course I am.” He took a deep breath and continued, “If I hadn’t experienced it firsthand, I really wouldn’t have known an Alpha’s pheromones had such terrifying pressure. Looking back, I truly felt like I was going to die.”

Huo Juan’s voice was heavy. “…And yet you still came to find me.”

Well, it’s because you turned and left, Pei Yule thought. He felt guilty, thinking it was because he’d shaken the man’s hand off so forcefully. Pei Yule hated the feeling of owing someone, even if he was the victim in a sense. He said, “Even though your two losses of control gave me a huge scare… I know you didn’t truly hurt me.”

After all, the fact that he could stand in front of Huo Juan unscathed was thanks to the man’s reason winning over his violent instincts.

Pei Yule’s gaze moved down, landing on Huo Juan’s wrist, which was covered by a white bandage patch. A week had passed, and though the gauze was gone, the wound still required a patch, showing how deep that bite had been. Only Huo Juan knew how much strength he’d used then—much like how Pei Yule was currently pretending not to be scared just to keep himself from running away.

“You’re wrong,” Huo Juan said flatly. “The fact that I didn’t hurt you those two times doesn’t mean I won’t in the future. You were right to distance yourself from me.”

—I’m lying. You aren’t allowed to distance yourself from me.

After a pause, he added, “Don’t get close to me anymore. Let’s stop the ‘contact therapy.’ I’ll give you back your quiet campus life.”

—If you don’t stay close, I’ll lock you up so you have no choice but to face me day and night.

His internal thoughts were the polar opposite of his words. Huo Juan’s hand at his side slowly clenched into a fist, while his face remained a placid mask.

Pei Yule stared at the calm Alpha and suddenly said, “…Huo Juan, answer me one thing honestly.” He locked eyes with him and asked word by word, “You used blocking agents to erase your pheromones—was it really just to make it easier to stay calm during therapy? Or—”

He paused. “Was it so I wouldn’t be affected by your pheromones?”

Pei Yule wasn’t an idiot. His study of ABO knowledge over the past week was quite solid; certain things were hard to ignore upon reflection. For instance, an Alpha’s pheromones, under normal conditions where they aren’t out of control, shouldn’t affect him at all. Only others could be affected.

Huo Juan had started using blocking agents only after that day he lost control. Using them immediately after? He had never done so before. If it wasn’t for Pei Yule’s sake, the timeline wouldn’t be such a coincidence. Pei Yule felt his guess was right: Huo Juan started using them out of consideration for him.

Since the man returned from his leave, even when they were close, Pei Yule hadn’t felt any discomfort from pheromones. Even now, he couldn’t smell a trace of them. While his mind was still afraid of the Huo Juan who lost control, his body felt no threat from the scent. In other words, Pei Yule was the one benefiting most from the blocking agents.

When his statement was met with silence, Pei Yule was certain he was right. He exhaled, and the tension that kept him from running away relaxed slightly. This man was willing to erase his own scent because he knew it made Pei Yule suffer; he was guarding against hurting him again. Given that, how could Pei Yule justify being afraid?

Perhaps the man was even more afraid than he was.

Pei Yule felt that if Huo Juan was being honorable, he couldn’t be heartless. He had promised to help, but he’d only really helped twice—they’d barely even started. If he quit just because he was scared, that wouldn’t be right.

Besides, Pei Yule had realized something on his way here. He had read in a book called Understanding Pheromones that while things like induction, soothing, and suppression are hard to escape, one can develop an “antibody” or tolerance if they become familiar with a specific scent.

In other words, if he became familiar with Huo Juan’s pheromones—though he didn’t know to what extent—perhaps they would no longer hurt him. He wouldn’t suddenly go weak in the knees every time he caught a whiff.

He told this theory to Huo Juan: “I think it might be more useful for me if you don’t use blocking agents. The books say if I get used to them, I might develop a tolerance. Wouldn’t that be helpful? We can continue the contact therapy while you release your pheromones. I think that’s a good way to have a mutually beneficial relationship.”

His understanding was technically correct—familiarity can lead to tolerance.

But… the prerequisite for that familiarity is accepting the “attack” of the pheromones until the body adapts. As a Beta, the pressure from a normal Alpha was already immense, let alone an attack from a top-tier Alpha.

It would be very, very painful.

How could he bear to let him suffer?

This person had run back after shaking off his hand to apologize sincerely and talk about a “mutually beneficial relationship.” This act alone had forcibly caged the beast in Huo Juan’s heart. How could he let fear enter those eyes again?

I have to take it slow, he told himself.

He wanted this person to approach him willingly, not to have his wings broken and be forced to stay by his side. To get what he wanted, he needed patience. Especially since this was the only thing he had ever craved in all these years. He couldn’t allow for a single mistake.

Huo Juan lowered his gaze and said in a flat tone, “I’m using blocking agents because my pheromones have been prone to losing control lately. While it’s partly related to you, it’s not the main reason. If I release them while they’re unstable, it would be very hard on you, and what happened before might happen again. We can talk about developing a tolerance once they are more stable. Now… is not the time.”

Rejected.

Pei Yule was about to say more, but he saw Huo Juan’s hand lift slightly as if to reach out, only to pull it back slowly. The Alpha’s voice dropped even lower. “…Thank you for not avoiding me.”

It’s a good thing I came, Pei Yule thought. If he’d been scared off just now, he never would have known the man was truly looking out for him. Even if the man said he wasn’t the main reason, it was clearly to prevent him from getting hurt.

At first, Pei Yule thought Huo Juan was just a guy who didn’t listen to others, but now that they were familiar, he realized a lot of that was just on the surface. Pei Yule breathed a sigh of relief, and the shadow in his heart dissipated significantly. He asked, “Besides contact therapy, is there anything else I can do to help? You can be honest with me. I’ll help with whatever I can.”

He meant it. Just because the man preferred to bite himself twice rather than hurt him, and was using blocking agents for his sake, Pei Yule felt he could overlook a lot of things.

“…Anything?” Huo Juan repeated slowly.

“Yeah,” Pei Yule rubbed his nose, hiding his embarrassment with a bit of self-deprecating humor. “Though it might not be much. You know, I’m just a Beta.”

Anything…

Don’t say such dangerous words. It would wake the beast that had finally quieted down, making it bared its fangs and claws, ready to strike.

Huo Juan hid the darkness in his eyes. He was silent for two seconds before saying, “Then, if possible…” He watched Pei Yule’s innocent eyes, waiting for him to continue. Huo Juan paused, then changed his wording: “I hope you can… touch me more often.”

The beast had shown its fangs after all.

The unexpected request made the boy’s eyes widen.

Huo Juan added, “The therapeutic effect is better when you are the one taking the initiative.”

There’s such a thing??

Pei Yule stared, wondering for a split second if Huo Juan was joking. Then he thought the man wouldn’t tell such a lie. After all, “contact therapy” was already surreal; it wasn’t that strange if his initiative improved the results.

Alright!

Pei Yule wasn’t a hesitant person. He looked around and saw the hallway was empty, so he decisively reached out and grabbed Huo Juan’s hand. He then looked up and asked, “Like this?”

Huo Juan’s fingertips twitched. He felt his hand gripped tightly by Pei Yule. The boy’s body heat transferred over, instantly soothing the sharp pain where his bones met his flesh. It was replaced by a sense of satisfied pleasure from the touch.

The Alpha’s voice grew slightly hoarse. “…Harder.”

Pei Yule didn’t overthink it. He increased his grip, asking like a diligent student, “Now?”

“…Harder still.”

Doesn’t it hurt if I squeeze too hard? I feel like I’m already using a lot of force, Pei Yule wondered. He didn’t say it aloud, though. He simply followed instructions and tightened his grip to satisfy Huo Juan’s request. Then he looked up and saw the corners of Huo Juan’s mouth tilt up slightly, revealing a faint trace of a smile.

—Do not trust a calm-looking Alpha too much; that is usually just a facade.

Only now did Pei Yule understand what Shen Pin meant.