Back to Auntie’s School Days - Chapter 27

Night.

Jian Hao lay in bed wrapped in her blanket, staring at the desk lamp glowing by her side. It was no longer flickering like it did on that rainy night; it was bright enough to illuminate the entire room, leaving only the corners out of its direct reach in shadow.

The lamp was like her feelings for Tan Yanqing. The flickering represented uncertainty. The steady glow was the love she had long confirmed. And the dark, damp corners were her obscure, hidden thoughts.

She had been out of it all day, naturally because of the discussion about “friends” with Tan Yanqing during the day.

Though she was sad, Jian Hao had reflected on it after returning to her seat. She shouldn’t have intentionally squeezed in to interrupt Tan Yanqing just because she saw others getting so close. But was she supposed to just watch?

When she was little and saw Auntie Tan playing with other kids, she didn’t have the courage to ask Auntie Tan to only hold her, fearing she’d be seen as disobedient or immature. Now, she wasn’t afraid of Tan Yanqing thinking she was immature or throwing a tantrum, so she grew bold enough to be jealous in the name of friendship.

In the end, she still displeased Tan Yanqing.

Can’t I even take up one minute of your time?

You won’t even give me a minute.

Stingy! Stingy! Stingy!

Tan Yanqing is a big meanie!

Back at her desk, Jian Hao started drawing a little stick figure. Next to it, she forcefully wrote the words “Big Meanie” and added a massive exclamation mark. Only then did the bitterness clogging her throat begin to fade.

But during class, her gaze instinctively focused on Tan Yanqing’s back again. Seeing her sitting perfectly upright, as if the sky falling wouldn’t bend her spine by a single degree, Jian Hao gritted her teeth and whipped her head toward the blackboard.

I’m not looking! Why bother! I’ll find new friends!

But after staring at the blackboard for less than a minute, her eyes—as if fitted with a GPS—settled back on Tan Yanqing.

After saying that sentence earlier, she had actually added another: “Then why did you bother saying you had to use the restroom, just to actually come and explain a problem to me? Why didn’t you just ignore me?”

Tan Yanqing looked at her. “Yes, why did I say that?”

After saying that, Tan Yanqing walked away, leaving Jian Hao without an answer.

It left Jian Hao spacing out for the entire period. Tan Yanqing, on the other hand, was the model student; she could answer anything the teacher asked. After class, Jian Hao—who had said she wanted a popsicle—flopped onto her desk. She figured Tan Yanqing definitely wouldn’t go buy ice cream with her anymore, so she decided to sleep. That way, she wouldn’t look at her and wouldn’t feel so annoyed.

But she tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. Even sleeping felt frustrating. She looked up and saw Tan Yanqing’s seat was empty.

Did she go to the office to ask a question? Or the restroom?

Alone? Or with someone?

She looked back; Jian You was asleep at her desk, so it wasn’t her. She checked the seats of the people who were asking questions last break; sure enough, they were gone too. At that moment, Jian Hao assumed Tan Yanqing had gone off with them.

Jian Hao slumped back down. A few seconds later, she crumpled the paper with the “meanie” drawing and name into a ball, walked to the back of the class, and tossed it into the trash.

Turning around, she saw Tan Yanqing walking in through the back door, holding two ice creams. They were the “Little Pudding” bars Jian Hao had loved since she was a kid.

Tan Yanqing’s chest was heaving slightly. Maintaining her expressionless “iceberg” face, she walked up to Jian Hao and held the two bars out.

Jian Hao looked down, then glanced away. “What’s this for?”

Tan Yanqing: “Didn’t you want to eat one?”

“I didn’t say I wanted this kind…” She peeked behind Tan Yanqing. No one else was there.

So Tan Yanqing had gone to buy them alone.

Jian Hao looked back at her, muttering with a pout, “Besides, I said we’d go together.”

“…” Tan Yanqing started walking toward the trash can.

“Hey!” Jian Hao snatched them away. “What are you doing! Do you just have too much money?”

Once they were in her hand, she realized she had grabbed both, so she handed one back. Tan Yanqing glanced at it. “That one is for your ‘best friend’ Jian You.”

Jian Hao: “…”

Why does that sound so salty?

“Isn’t she your best friend too?”

“No.”

“Huh?”

“She and I are just classmates.”

Such precise relationship mapping? But it sounded a bit cold.

Jian Hao: “But you’re the one who told Auntie that you and Jian You were very good friends.”

“And why was that?”

Tan Yanqing looked over, and Jian Hao’s heart skipped a beat.

“Because…” she stammered.

…Me?

She didn’t say it out loud, but the implication was there. Tan Yanqing lowered her lashes. “The ice cream is going to melt.”

Jian Hao’s attention shifted. She walked over to Jian You’s desk, handed her one, and specifically mentioned Tan Yanqing bought it. When she turned back, Tan Yanqing was already at her desk.

Jian Hao hurried over. She tore open the wrapper and held the milky Little Pudding to Tan Yanqing’s lips. “You take a bite first.”

Tan Yanqing didn’t like cold things. Moreover, it was autumn; eating too much cold food made her cough. But out of the corner of her eye, she saw Jian Hao’s watery eyes staring at her. She opened her mouth and took a tiny bite.

It was cold. And very sweet.

Seeing her eat, Jian Hao took a bite herself. “So good.”

Compared to the Little Puddings of the future, the milk flavor in these was so rich. She held the side Tan Yanqing had bitten back up to the girl’s lips. Tan Yanqing shook her head. “No more.”

Jian Hao said “Oh” and took another bite. Tan Yanqing had already picked up her pen to start on a problem.

Jian Hao stood to the side, watching Tan Yanqing’s focused profile. After thinking for two seconds, she whispered: “Tan Yanqing.”

“Mhm.”

“My feelings for Jian You are different from my feelings for you. For you… I want you to belong only to me.”

Tan Yanqing froze, her eyelashes trembling. But before she could look up, her right cheek was kissed. A cold, milky-sweet kiss.

“Just like that.”

Jian Hao, you are absolutely legendary!

Twice in one day! A kiss on both the left and right cheeks!

In the history of secret crushes, you’ve got to be the first to pull this off!

You’ve got guts!

Watching the bright lamp by her bed, Jian Hao’s heart was screaming with excitement. But once she turned off the light and darkness took over, the hype faded, replaced by the suppressed low of her emotions.

Jian Hao, are you insane?!

Why did you kiss Tan Yanqing?! What if she’s terrified of you and thinks you’re a creep?!

Just because she didn’t say anything after the first kiss this morning doesn’t mean you can just go for a second one! And saying she only belongs to you… did you use your brain or think about the consequences before you said that?

You’re gay. You like women. This is sexual harassment! You can’t just do whatever you want just because she’s your “Auntie”!

Though teenage impulses are hard to suppress, this behavior was simply unacceptable! If Tan Yanqing were straight, then such a kiss wouldn’t be much; it would just be seen as a friend’s way of showing affection. But Tan Yanqing isn’t! You’ve known since you were twelve that she isn’t!

How did Jian Hao know? Oh, she was playing games on Tan Yanqing’s phone—Temple Run and My Talking Tom. While switching between apps, she had accidentally clicked something. A document opened, and there was a video. The content wasn’t exactly PG; basically, it was two girls “playing” together. Back then she didn’t understand, she just saw two naked people and closed it immediately out of modesty. It wasn’t until she got older that she realized what it was.

Besides, the person Tan Yanqing likes isn’t you!

She still has that ‘White Moonlight’ in her heart!

Even if that person was a jerk who didn’t deserve her, Tan Yanqing still had someone in her heart! You need to keep your distance! And what was that supposed to mean? That was basically a confession! Did she understand? What if she distances herself from you now? What if she doesn’t want you around?

You haven’t even found out who that jerk is yet, and you’re already going to be treated as a stranger!

Jian Hao!

Go apologize!

The more Jian Hao thought, the more panicked she became. Fearing Tan Yanqing would ignore her, she found herself navigating the dark up to the second floor, standing at Tan Yanqing’s door.

Jian Hao had pride. But for a girl with pride, her hand just wouldn’t knock. Wait, you didn’t hesitate for a second when you kissed her, so why are you stalling to apologize?

Jian Hao lost her nerve. She was truly afraid of being seen as a creep. And knocking on a door in the middle of the night… that felt pretty creepy no matter how you sliced it.

Maybe… tomorrow?

But tomorrow leads to another tomorrow—not that she was trying to be philosophical. Just as she turned to head back downstairs, Tan Yanqing’s bedroom door opened.

Jian Hao snapped upright. Their eyes met, and she gave a sheepish laugh. “Good evening, Tan Yanqing. Not asleep yet?~”

After saying it, Jian Hao bit her tongue. Who stands at someone’s door and asks why they aren’t asleep?

Sure enough, a question mark appeared in Tan Yanqing’s eyes.

Tan Yanqing indeed wasn’t asleep. She couldn’t sleep. She had sat up and turned on the light to read a book, but she couldn’t focus; she had to read every line three or four times. This had never happened to her before. She forced herself to concentrate, and just as she finally got into it, the sound of footsteps outside made her attention vanish instantly.

In the next second, the footsteps stopped at her door. Coming for me? Scared again?

Tan Yanqing closed the book and sat facing the door, ready to open it the moment the knock sounded. But she waited and waited, and there was no sound from outside.

Gone?

Why did she arrive so loudly but leave so silently?

Even though she thought Jian Lai had left, Tan Yanqing got out of bed anyway. She never expected to see her still there when she opened the door.

“…”

“Mhm,” Tan Yanqing processed for a moment. “Is something wrong?”

Jian Hao reacted quickly: “I’m hungry and wanted to cook some instant noodles. I came to ask if you wanted some.”

Tan Yanqing: “Should I cook them for you?”

“No need.”

Jian Hao started to turn away, but she paused and added, “But you can keep me company.”

“Mhm.”

They went downstairs. During the two days she’d stayed at Tan Yanqing’s, Tan Yanqing had cooked everything; Jian Hao hadn’t helped much. It wasn’t because she was lazy or enjoying the service, but because it was novel to her.

Novel to see Tan Yanqing cooking. Adult Auntie Tan was always busy with work, and her eating schedule was irregular. Unless she was exceptionally free, she almost never cooked, so Jian Hao rarely saw it. Over the years, this led to Auntie Tan having a sensitive stomach and a very thin frame.

Once, while the three of them were eating together, her mother commented on Auntie Tan’s thin face, telling her to focus on her health as much as her work—otherwise, she’d collapse before finding “the person.” It was then that Jian Hao learned Auntie Tan had been looking for someone all these years: the “White Moonlight” who had broken her heart in high school.

She didn’t know why Auntie Tan would look for someone who hurt her. She was too young to understand then, thinking only that the person must be very important. From that moment on, she consciously started learning to cook. When she first picked up a spatula, she had to stand on a stool to reach the stove.

She became more and more skilled. By middle school, she could cook many dishes. Whenever she had free time, she would bring food to her mother and Auntie Tan. Her original motivation for learning to cook was simply to feed Auntie Tan well.

And now, she and Tan Yanqing were standing by the stove. The water in the pot was bubbling, and the rising steam drifted between them. The warm vapor made Jian Hao’s thoughts feel a bit damp.

She put the noodle block in and asked with feigned casualness: “Are you sure you don’t want any?”

“Mhm, not hungry.”

She wasn’t hungry either. So why did she pick “hunger” as an excuse?

“Haha… I was quite hungry just now, but maybe the smell of the noodles filled me up a bit. If I can’t finish it, I’ll save it for breakfast tomorrow.” She stirred the softening noodles with her chopsticks.

Tan Yanqing didn’t reply. There wasn’t much to reply to.

“By the way, why weren’t you asleep yet?” Jian Hao asked again.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Tan Yanqing replied.

“Oh.”

“…”

So awkward. Is there anything she can do to distract herself? Jian Hao picked up the chopsticks to stir the noodles again, but she’d just done it; doing it again felt forced. She’d already added the seasoning. The bowl was already out. There were a few drops of water on the counter. Jian Hao picked up a rag to wipe them.

The drops were gone in an instant, but the moisture in her heart remained.

“Today…”

The prolonged silence finally made Jian Hao speak. Though it had only been about a dozen seconds, it felt like she could have built a whole skyscraper in her mind during that time. But as soon as she spoke, she fell silent again.

Tan Yanqing looked at her and waited. “Mhm?”

Jian Hao glanced at Tan Yanqing, then looked back down, touching the side of her neck. “I kissed you twice today… you know what that means, right?”

“I know.”

Jian Hao’s heart began to race. But before she could even look at Tan Yanqing, she heard:

“You were curious about the leads kissing on TV, so you tried it with me.”

“…”

Jian Hao: “So you don’t feel like I was offending you?”

“No.”

“Like you said, it’s a kiss on the cheek,” Tan Yanqing said.

Jian Hao let out an “Oh,” feeling a mix of happiness and disappointment.

“But—”

Tan Yanqing was looking at her. Jian Hao froze. Tan Yanqing was staring at her lips, her face as calm as if she were doing academic research, but her words…

“Is kissing just pressing against a cheek?”

Tan Yanqing said: “Shouldn’t it be mouth-to-mouth?”

“Yes, but, but…” Jian Hao stammered, “I can’t exactly go mouth-to-mouth with you.”

“But when I said ‘give it a try,’ I meant kissing, not a so-called kiss on the cheek. Besides, aren’t your feelings for me different from your feelings for Jian You?”

Tan Yanqing leaned in closer. “So, why is it impossible?”