Back to Auntie’s School Days - Chapter 36

Jian You locked eyes with Tan Yanqing and Jian Sihong for a few seconds. She stopped trying to push Jian Hao away and instead let her hand rest gently on Jian Hao’s shoulder. “What’s gotten into you?”

Jian Hao’s head was still burrowed in the crook of her neck. She was using all her strength to soak in Jian You’s scent. “Nothing, I just wanted to thank you for taking care of me all this time.”

Jian You’s brows lowered, her eyes full of concern. “Sister Han said you recovered your memory. What… what did you remember?”

A laugh vibrated from Jian You’s neck, followed by Jian Hao’s casual reply: “I didn’t remember a thing. I just didn’t want to keep bothering the police.”

“…Really?”

Jian Hao lifted her head and met Jian You’s eyes. “Why would I lie to you about that?”

With that, she raised her arm and wiped her eyes with her school jacket sleeve. The tears were gone, but her lashes remained damp, leaving her vision a blur. Using that hazy momentum, she stepped forward and gave Jian Sihong a hug as well.

Not only did she have a good mother, but she also had a good grandmother. Otherwise, how could a nineteen-year-old Jian You have easily adopted a child?

Her mother’s scent and her grandmother’s scent, mixed with the salty sting of tears, lingered in her misty eyes.

But she hadn’t forgotten Tan Yanqing. After hugging Jian Sihong, she picked up her backpack from the sofa, walked over to Tan Yanqing, and took her hand. She turned to Jian You and Jian Sihong. “I’m going back with Tan Yanqing now.”

Looking at her, Jian Sihong felt a pang of heartache; she felt as if the child had just survived some unspeakable battle. Her tone softened. “Don’t rush. Eat before you go. If it gets late, I’ll walk you back, or you can just stay here—you and Xiao Tan can sleep in Youyou’s room.”

Jian Hao shook her head. “We have things to do.”

Jian You: “What things?”

Jian Hao said, “Tan Yanqing said she’s taking me to buy a phone.”

Jian You: “…” She glanced at Tan Yanqing. So generous?! Then she looked at Jian Sihong with stars in her eyes.

Jian Sihong pretended not to notice the look and turned to the others. “Go buy it now? It’s so late, the malls are already closed.”

“We’ll go have a look.” With that, Jian Hao pulled Tan Yanqing toward the door, waving goodbye.

The usually silent Tan Yanqing also spoke up to say goodbye.

Jian You: “Alright, see you tomorrow.”

Jian Hao smiled: “See you tomorrow.”

The two went downstairs and walked toward the bus stop. Their hands remained joined. Jian Hao forgot to let go, and Tan Yanqing forgot to remind her.

They walked in silence for a stretch. As they were about to cross the alley, Tan Yanqing said, “I didn’t bring that much cash with me. How about we just look at the shop first, then go back with the money tomorrow?”

With a “pffft” laugh, Jian Hao hooked her other arm through Tan Yanqing’s, hugging it tight. “You took me seriously!”

Tan Yanqing paused. “If not? Are you joking again?”

Jian Hao giggled. “It’s not a joke, it’s an excuse! If I didn’t say that, Auntie definitely wouldn’t have let us leave!”

Tan Yanqing said, “Don’t you love Auntie Jian’s cooking? Why didn’t you want to stay?”

“I love it, but tonight there’s something I want to do even more! Something Jian You and Auntie can’t know about.”

In the dim night, Jian Hao’s tear-reddened eyes looked like the orange-red sun at dusk—there was light, but it looked as if it were about to set.

Tan Yanqing pursed her lips. “What is it?”

Jian Hao arched a brow mysteriously. “You’ll know when we get home.”

The “thing” Jian Hao spoke of was buying alcohol.

There were a few restaurants near the stop for Tan Yanqing’s house, but they were in the opposite direction. When they got off the bus and Tan Yanqing started walking toward home, Jian Hao called out to her.

“Tan Yanqing!”

Tan Yanqing turned back.

“You’re going the wrong way!”

Jian Hao stood there, the flashing neon lights of the shops serving as her backdrop; all Tan Yanqing could see was her brilliant smile. For Tan Yanqing, this smile would be something she’d desperately long for in the future—when she lost her way and felt forced to walk alone, she wished Jian Hao would call from behind and tell her: “You’re going the wrong way!”

Tan Yanqing walked back to Jian Hao’s side, puzzled. “Not going home?”

“To buy food! You definitely haven’t had dinner, and neither have I.” Jian Hao tilted her head and smiled. “Tonight, everything is on Boss Jian!”

Tonight, Jian Hao seemed exceptionally fond of smiling. If one ignored her swollen, almond-like eyes, they would surely think she was in a great mood.

They arrived at the restaurant. Jian Hao did the ordering. Tan Yanqing wasn’t very hungry and just wanted to order one favorite dish to tide her over. She listened as Jian Hao ordered five dishes—every single one was something she liked. She didn’t know if it was a coincidence or if Jian Hao had carefully observed her preferences.

Once ordered, Jian Hao said to the owner, “Sister~ we’ll take it to go. Also, a pack of canned beer. Let me know the total.”

Tan Yanqing looked at where Jian Hao was pointing—it was a six-pack of canned beer wrapped in clear plastic.

Jian Hao used the 500 pesos Jian Sihong had given her. Staying at Tan Yanqing’s, she hadn’t spent much other than daily expenses; she still had over 300 left.

After paying, since the place was crowded and had no seats, they stood by the front counter to wait. In the noisy restaurant, their conversation was for their ears only.

Tan Yanqing asked, “The thing you couldn’t let Jian You know about… is drinking?”

Jian Hao nodded. “Mhm.”

Tan Yanqing observed her. When Jian Hao started to feel a bit shy under the scrutiny, Tan Yanqing said, “You seem to care a lot about what she says.”

Jian Hao rubbed her nose. “I care about what you say, too. But you’re different from her—you won’t scold me or hit me.”

Tan Yanqing narrowed her eyes. “She scolds and hits you?”

“…”

Oops, I just smeared Jian You’s reputation.

Jian Hao gave a dry laugh. “Of course not… haha… I was just guessing.” She muttered, “Anyway, I’m just inexplicably afraid of her.”

Tan Yanqing fell silent. After a minute, Jian Hao found the atmosphere too dry and looked for a topic:

“I wasn’t at school this afternoon. Did the teachers hand out any more worksheets?”

“Three.”

“Oh, are you finished with them?”

“Mhm.”

“Any particularly hard ones?”

“…”

Tan Yanqing looked at her sideways. The bright fluorescent light made Jian Hao’s lashes clearly visible. Tan Yanqing couldn’t count how many lashes she had; she only saw the sorrow in her eyes.

She was smiling, but her eyes were raining. It was that kind of continuous, drizzling rain—the kind sufficient to soak the rest of her life.

Tan Yanqing took a breath and softened her tone as much as possible, offering the concern she hadn’t managed to voice at Jian You’s: “What happened to you today?”

Jian Hao shook her head and smiled again. “Nothing.”

With a trace of bitterness in her throat, Tan Yanqing asked, “If it’s nothing, why do you want to drink?”

Jian Hao: “Just felt like it.”

Tan Yanqing gave a cold laugh, her hand pressing down on the pack of beer Jian Hao had moved to her side. “If you don’t tell the truth, I won’t allow this inside my house.”

Jian Hao was taken aback. “I just said you’d be on my side!”

Tan Yanqing’s eyes narrowed slightly. Jian Hao knew she meant what she said and didn’t argue. She plopped down on a small stool meant for the owner’s child, kept her head low, and clasped her hands. Her voice was hoarse. “I’m just a little sad. I want to drink just a little bit.”

She sat on the low stool, a tiny bundle of a person, looking as if she had reached the peak of grievance. Someone who didn’t care wouldn’t pay her any mind, but…

Tan Yanqing’s hand on the beer curled, her fingertips rubbing the plastic twice before finally lifting and resting on the top of Jian Hao’s head. Her palm was slender, but in this moment, it was tender and powerful.

Jian Hao froze.

Tan Yanqing slowly crouched down to her level. She hesitated, then asked, “Is it because of… your adoptive family?”

Meeting Jian Hao’s sudden, startled gaze, Tan Yanqing knew Jian You’s guess was likely correct. She said softly, “Jian You guessed a bit of it.” She gave Jian Hao a brief summary of Jian You’s analysis.

Hearing it, Jian Hao was surprised by Jian You’s imagination. She asked Tan Yanqing, “What about you? Did you also suspect I was faking amnesia? No, ‘suspect’ isn’t right—you knew from the start.”

She rested her chin on her knees and looked down, unable to stop a self-deprecating laugh. “Was my acting really that bad?”

Tan Yanqing gave a faint smile. “It was okay. You fooled everyone else.”

Jian Hao looked up. “Except you.”

The corner of Tan Yanqing’s mouth quirked. “You don’t need to fool me.” Her hand on Jian Hao’s head gently ruffled her hair. She gazed at Jian Hao’s eyes—eyes that held a whole rainy season—and her voice was as soft as a cookie soaked in milk. “I’ll believe whatever you say.”

Jian Hao burst into a smile.

Once the food was packed, Tan Yanqing carried the bags while Jian Hao held the beer. They walked step-by-step toward the small western-style house. The weather was poor; not only were there no stars, but there was no moon—only layer upon layer of clouds. Luckily, there were streetlights.

The pools of light on the road were like buttons on a shirt, each one strictly guarding its post.

Jian Hao walked beside Tan Yanqing and couldn’t help but call out: “Tan Yanqing.”

“Mhm.”

“Tan Yanqing?”

“Mhm.”

“Tan Yanqing?”

Tan Yanqing turned to look at her. “Drunk before you’ve even had a sip?”

Jian Hao giggled. Her laugh was like a firefly in summer—glowy, green, and scented with grass.

When they got home, they washed their hands in the kitchen. Tan Yanqing took the food out of the bags and set it on the coffee table, lifting the lids.

“Did we buy too much?”

“No way! If we can’t finish it, we’ll eat it tomorrow! Then we won’t have to cook!”

Jian Hao picked up a beer and—crack—the scent of wheat and hops joined the aroma of the food. “Are you drinking?” she asked.

Tan Yanqing had never had alcohol. Or rather, she’d had very little contact with it because her family didn’t drink. She paused and looked at Jian Hao. “Do you want me to drink with you?”

“I do. But the question is whether you want to.”

The corner of Tan Yanqing’s mouth curved. “Then I’ll drink.” She picked up a can and was about to open it—

“Wait!”

Jian Hao hopped up from her cushion, her strawberry slippers thumping as she ran into the kitchen. She brought back Tan Yanqing’s water glass. “I’ll pour you a tiny bit. Taste it first. If you don’t like it, don’t force yourself.”

“Don’t like it?” Tan Yanqing asked. “Are you used to it? Have you drunk it before?”

Jian Hao sat down. “When my mom drank, she’d egg me on to try it. It’s bitter as hell.”

Jian Hao poured about two mouthfuls for Tan Yanqing and set the glass before her. “Try it.”

Tan Yanqing picked it up, first smelling it. It had a bitter, sharp scent. She frowned and looked at Jian Hao. Jian Hao’s eyes were wide, looking incredibly curious about her reaction, ready to observe every detail.

She couldn’t let Jian Hao’s curiosity go unrewarded.

Tan Yanqing lowered her eyes, paused for a second, and then tilted her head back to drain it.

What Jian Hao saw was Tan Yanqing’s face scrunching up—wrinkled and expressive, written all over with her dislike for the bitter beer. In all these years, Jian Hao had never seen such a face on Tan Yanqing. What iceberg? This is too cute!

“Want more?” Jian Hao asked with a laugh.

Tan Yanqing shook her head. When she set the glass down, her brows still hadn’t fully relaxed. “You shouldn’t drink it either. It’s awful.”

Jian Hao lifted the can, took a large gulp, and let out an “Ah—” as she set it down. The bubbles were exploding on her taste buds, and the bitterness filled her mouth. It didn’t taste good. But, “This is exactly the feeling I wanted!”

She looked at Tan Yanqing with a smile. “Because it tastes bad, drinking it gives a sort of masochistic pleasure.”

Seeing Tan Yanqing’s face suddenly go cold, Jian Hao hurriedly backtracked: “Of course, I’m drinking because I want to feel the happiness of alcohol.” She laughed, took another big gulp, and picked up her chopsticks. “Eat, eat! I’m so hungry I’m ‘making a fortune’!”

Tan Yanqing started eating too. “Why is it ‘hungry for a fortune’? Last time it was ‘suffocating for a fortune’ too.”

“I’m saying that to avoid jinxing myself. You can’t say bad things like ‘starving to death’; you have to say good things.” Jian Hao stared at Tan Yanqing and said softly, “I have an auntie I like very much. Her job is dangerous. Once I said something unlucky in front of her, and she ran into danger the next day. I haven’t dared say things like that since…”

Tan Yanqing listened silently. She was glad Jian Hao was no longer hiding her past.

“Anyway, once words are out, they can’t be taken back. You have to say nice things.”

Tan Yanqing smiled, her lashes flickering like a bee’s wings. She looked down and said softly, “The things you said to me before… were all very nice.”

“…”

She waited a moment, but Jian Hao didn’t answer. She turned to see Jian Hao using the remote to change channels; she’d spoken so softly that Jian Hao hadn’t heard her at all. Tan Yanqing’s lips curved as she turned her focus to the TV.

The two sat around the table eating and watching TV. It was still the Star channel, but it wasn’t Sakura anymore—it was a different anime. One Jian Hao also liked.

But Jian Hao wasn’t watching. She just ate a little and drank. By the time she’d finished two cans, her face was red, and her eyes were too.

Hearing her whimpering, Tan Yanqing set down her chopsticks, wiped her mouth with a tissue, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of plain water. When she returned, she held it to Jian Hao’s lips.

Jian Hao leaned back to avoid the water and drained the last of her beer. Tan Yanqing set the glass on the table, pulled another tissue, and gently wiped the tear tracks from under Jian Hao’s eyes, as well as the oil from her lips.

Jian Hao cried until her nose ran. Tan Yanqing pulled a fresh tissue to wipe it for her.

Jian Hao dodged. You have to maintain your image in front of your crush. Even drunk, Jian Hao remembered that. She turned away and wiped her own nose.

When she sat back, she reached out to ask for more tissues. Tan Yanqing placed the box in front of her and watched her cry without saying a word. Once Jian Hao had cried herself out, she picked up the water again and held it to her lips.

“Replenish some fluids.”

Jian Hao laughed through her tears. “Are you worried I haven’t cried enough?”

“No.” Once Jian Hao drank the water, Tan Yanqing asked, “Why are you crying?”

Jian Hao: “…I lied to you.”

“Lied about what?”

“I wasn’t just ‘a little’ sad. I’m very! Very sad!”

Jian Hao’s eyes filled with tears again, the watery gaze full of broken light. She sniffed, leaned back against the sofa, and stared at the high ceiling. “Actually, besides Jian You, I want to thank you, too.”

“Thank me?”

Jian Hao nodded vigorously. “Mhm! Because… you’re super good to me too!”

“I’m sorry!” Jian Hao said suddenly. She looked at Tan Yanqing, choking up. “I shouldn’t have liked you. I shouldn’t have put you in a difficult position.”

She covered her face and sobbed. “Even though I’m still sad, I’ve figured it out. You were right…”

Being confessed to by a kid you watched grow up—no matter how you sliced it, it was a horror movie. Only a ghost could accept that. It was only because Auntie Tan was experienced and steady that she hadn’t turned and run; she’d even calmly walked her home… The only “warning” she gave was to make her do more exam prep. She didn’t hit or scold her, didn’t treat her like a creep.

“…”

Tan Yanqing gave a quiet, amused laugh. She called out, “Jian Lai.”

Jian Hao, still sobbing, reacted instantly. “My name isn’t Jian Lai!” Who wanted that crappy name! “I wasn’t ‘picked up’ (Jian Lai)! I was born from my mom!”

Tan Yanqing: “Then what is your name?”

Jian Hao took her hands away from her face and wiped her tears with a tissue. She fell silent.

Tan Yanqing waited, then moved closer to her. She spoke with extreme patience. “Lailai, regardless of what your real name is, you don’t have to say it if you don’t want to. But I want to call you this, because the person I know is this name.” She rested her hand on Jian Hao’s knee. “Lailai, you like me. I’ve never been in a ‘difficult position.’ What I found difficult was that you didn’t only like me.”

Tan Yanqing seemed a bit drunk, too. Whether it was from that one sip of beer, the scent of wheat on Jian Hao’s breath, or simply the person herself, she didn’t know.

Jian Hao leaned toward her, tilting her head as she tried to process Tan Yanqing’s words. Her buzzed brain wasn’t good at thinking. She braced her arms behind her and leaned her face directly in front of Tan Yanqing’s.

“Only like you.”

“Tan Yanqing, I only like you.”

She moved very close. So close their noses were about to touch, eyes to eyes.

Tan Yanqing’s eyes were so beautiful. Jian Hao reached out to touch them. Her finger poked Tan Yanqing’s glasses lens, but she didn’t realize it, thinking Tan Yanqing’s eyes were carved from glass because they were so hard.

She muttered, “Really… only like you.”

Tan Yanqing grabbed her hand and moved it away from her face. “Why didn’t you say so before?”

“I did say it… you rejected me… you don’t like me…”

Jian Hao leaned against Tan Yanqing, whining softly: “Do you want to reject me a second time? Tan Yanqing, you meanie…”

Tan Yanqing’s brow furrowed. When had Jian Lai said that? When had she rejected her? Did she mean the comment about not considering dating before the exams? Was that a rejection? At the time… wasn’t she leaving the door open?

Tan Yanqing looked down at Jian Hao. “When did you say it?”

“While watching the fireworks… that time…”

Jian Hao whispered the reply, her gaze gradually fixing on Tan Yanqing’s lips. Under the white light, they were shiny and looked delicious. Jian Hao licked her own lips, sat up to face Tan Yanqing, her shimmering pink lips parting and closing.

“Tan Yanqing, do you want to kiss me?”

Without waiting for an answer, she gave a tipsy smile:

“I want to kiss you.”