Back to Auntie’s School Days - Chapter 46

Tan Yanqing’s movement while picking out peppers paused slightly. When she turned to look at her, she narrowed her eyes.

“How do you know about her? Did Jian You tell you?”

“My mom didn’t say anything.”

Jian Hao paused, then added, “Xinsui didn’t say anything either.”

She deliberately called Auntie Zhu by her first name to see if Tan Yanqing would have any other reaction.

But the only response she got was a sentence from Tan Yanqing: “No respect for your elders.”

Other than that, Tan Yanqing had no other reaction. It was as if she completely disbelieved her words and was certain that any knowledge of Jian Lai must have come from Jian You.

After buying the groceries, they drove home. Jian Hao grabbed the person who was about to head to the kitchen with the bags.

“I have something to show you.”

“What is it?”

Tan Yanqing lifted the heavy bag in her right hand. “Let me put this in the kitchen first.”

Jian Hao let go of her. Staring at her, she said worriedly, “Come right back out once you put it down.”

Tan Yanqing gave a small smile.

She turned around, passed through the white curtains printed with “Congratulations” and “Prosperity,” walked to the kitchen counter, and set the bags down.

She didn’t move.

She lowered her gaze, her eyes landing on the black plastic bag containing the ribbonfish. Two seconds later, her fair neck tilted back slightly within the collar of her dark gray coat, and her chin rose. Though her gaze swept across the upper part of the wall, her eyes were out of focus. The smile from a moment ago had vanished completely; her pupils were as hollow as if she had lost her soul.

“Are you done yet?” Jian Hao called from outside.

Tan Yanqing’s gaze slowly refocused. Her straying soul was called back. Looking at the ivory-white tiles, she exhaled. She tilted her head and replied, “Just washing my hands.”

Standing at the sink, the blur before her eyes was washed away by the sound of rushing water. The cold water pouring over her hands felt like a flash-freezer; her chaotic heart slowly calmed down. She pulled a tissue to dry her hands and walked out of the kitchen.

The first thing she saw was Jian Hao’s back; she was kneeling on the rug by the coffee table, her backpack lying open beside her. Jian Hao placed the last book she needed on the table. Seeing Tan Yanqing emerge, she straightened her back instantly. Resting her hand on the stack of five books, she said, “Come look.”

Tan Yanqing tossed the tissue into the bin by the table and stood beside Jian Hao, looking down. The five books were all quite thick; Jian Hao must have put a lot of effort into carrying them.

When Tan Yanqing saw the title of the top book, she felt an impulse to turn and leave.

But Jian Hao stopped her. “Auntie, I only just found out that you liked astronomy.”

This wasn’t really Jian Hao’s fault; there wasn’t a single item related to astronomy in Tan Yanqing’s house—except for an astronomical telescope, but that was said to be left behind by her mother.

Jian Hao took the books down one by one and spread them out. Tan Yanqing’s eyes caught the key words in the titles: Secrets of the Solar System, Time Tunnels, Parallel Worlds, Black Holes, Time Travel.

“I don’t know if you’ve researched these, but even if you didn’t do it specifically, you must know about them, right?”

Every one of the five books was covered in colorful sticky tabs. Jian Hao had spent a week organizing them. She picked up the book on the left, opened it to a marked page, stood up, and held the book between herself and Tan Yanqing.

“It says here that if speed exceeds the speed of light, time travel is possible.”

Tan Yanqing turned slightly, took off her overcoat, and placed it on the sofa. Seeing her lack of interest, Jian Hao picked up another book, opened it, and read a highlighted portion.

“How to move forward and backward in four-dimensional space; perhaps black holes and wormholes can give us the answer.” She held the page up to Tan Yanqing. “It even mentions theories about time travel afterward, look.”

“Why are you looking at these?”

“So you’ll believe that time travel exists first, and then I—”

Tan Yanqing took the book from her. Jian Hao thought she was going to read it and stopped talking, but Tan Yanqing didn’t even glance at it. She closed it directly, leaned over, and placed it back on the coffee table. After straightening up, she looked at Jian Hao and asked simply, “Aren’t you hungry?” then turned toward the kitchen.

Jian Hao froze for two seconds before following her. “You don’t believe me?”

Tan Yanqing didn’t stop. “Why should I believe it?”

“But that’s not what you said before! You said if it happens, it’s science.”

Tan Yanqing lifted the curtain and entered the kitchen. The curtain temporarily blocked Jian Hao’s view; she could only hear Tan Yanqing say, “When did I ever say that? Besides, these are just conjectures.”

“They aren’t! It really happened! It happened between you and me!”

Jian Hao jogged to the kitchen door. She lifted the curtain and looked at the person who had already rolled up her sleeves and was washing vegetables at the sink.

“I don’t believe you don’t know I am Jian Lai!”

The tiny kitchen, where breath could usually be heard, suddenly became so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Night had fallen; the kitchen window acted as a black backdrop. Tan Yanqing was wearing a black turtleneck base layer, her hair tied up casually, her rolled-up sleeves revealing a section of pearl-white arm.

She stood at the sink, side-on to Jian Hao. Her thin, slender body, which had been leaning slightly to wash the vegetables, straightened up inch by inch. Under the fluorescent light, her profile was like a silhouette carved by a blade—cold and devoid of emotion. She didn’t look at Jian Hao, so Jian Hao couldn’t see her expression.

Jian Hao watched her silhouette and said:

“Even if you didn’t know, I’m telling you now. Those five days I disappeared weren’t for studying, and I didn’t run away because you rejected my confession. It was because I woke up and traveled to 2008! Do you remember? That day, I was wearing the pajamas you bought me and I bumped into you while you were carrying notebooks downstairs. Later, I joined Class 2 and sat behind you. You ran the 5,000 and 1,000 meters. I skipped school because of period cramps, and later I drew a picture for you and my mom—”

“Enough.”

A voice, neither loud nor soft.

Tan Yanqing turned her head and gave a light, fleeting smile. “Jian You told you quite a lot.”

Jian Hao was stunned.

Tan Yanqing had already turned back to continue washing vegetables. Her nonchalant attitude made it seem like she was watching Jian Hao play a game of house; she would just watch from the sidelines as long as Jian Hao didn’t get hurt.

Jian Hao’s lips trembled. “You still think my mom told me?”

She stared at Tan Yanqing, took two steps forward, and said, “Then tell me, Auntie, why do I look exactly like Jian Lai?”

Tan Yanqing kept her head down. “You do look like her.”

“Exactly! Because I am—”

Tan Yanqing said, “Because you are related to her.”

Jian Hao was dumbfounded. “What?”

Tan Yanqing tilted her head to look at her and said softly, “Didn’t your mother tell you? Jian Lai is your cousin once removed (Biao-yi).”

Absurd!

Jian Hao laughed out of pure frustration. After a moment, she nodded and played along: “Fine, Jian Lai is my cousin. Then did my cousin go missing in October 2008?”

“…”

“In October 2008, I wasn’t even born yet, was I?”

Jian Hao actually didn’t want to bring up the fact that she was adopted, but some things made sense once you thought about them—she was that abandoned baby. As for why her birthday was in October 2009, it was likely because that was when Jian You registered her. As for when she was adopted, she didn’t know yet. She’d ask Tan Yanqing when she had the chance.

Jian Hao was certain Tan Yanqing wouldn’t tell her the “abandoned baby” truth. Sure enough, Tan Yanqing said, “Mhm. Your birthday is October 2009.”

Jian Hao took another step forward. “My ‘cousin’ disappeared in ’08, and I was born in ’09. So if I know things even my mom doesn’t know, would that prove what I’m saying?”

Tan Yanqing was handling the ribbonfish. Hearing this, she paused and replied, “Your mother knows everything. When I was looking for your cousin, I told her everything.”

Who would believe that?

Jian Hao tilted her head and looked at Tan Yanqing with a smile. “Then did you tell her about the fact that we kissed right here?”

Jian Hao’s words rang out unexpectedly in the kitchen. After she spoke, the only sound left was the dripping of water.

Drip—

Drip—

It sounded like someone’s heart was bleeding.

Vrrr—

The vibration of a call broke the silence. Jian Hao’s gaze finally moved away from Tan Yanqing’s slightly stiff shoulders. She pulled her phone from her pocket.

Caller ID: Ms. Jian.

She turned the screen toward Tan Yanqing and said, “My mom is calling. If you want to know something, just ask her.”

Tan Yanqing’s pupils dilated slightly, and she instinctively turned to look at Jian Hao. But before she could stop her, Jian Hao had already answered the phone. She even pressed the speakerphone.

“Sweetie, I just saw the message you sent me. Why are you going to your Auntie Tan’s house to sleep for no reason? Your Auntie is so busy with work; she has to serve you even after she gets off! Why don’t you just come home?”

Jian You’s voice filled the room.

Jian Hao looked up, locking eyes with Tan Yanqing. She stared at her, the corners of her mouth curling up as she said slowly, “Mom, let’s not talk about that yet. I was playing a game with Auntie Tan. She lost and chose ‘Truth,’ but now she’s backing out. She said you know the answer too and told me to ask you. Can you help her answer?”

“What truth?”

“When was Auntie Tan’s first kiss?”

Tan Yanqing’s face went cold. She looked at Jian Hao and said in a heavy voice, “Do you think it’s appropriate to ask your mother that question?”

The phone was right in front of Jian Hao’s face, close to Tan Yanqing. Jian You heard her and said, “What’s inappropriate about it? If you can’t handle it, why play the game?” Jian You coughed and replied, “I don’t know when her first kiss was. She’s like a flower with butterflies all around her; she never told me who she was with.”

Jian You answered this way for three reasons. First, she thought Jian Hao was pestering Tan Yanqing again, so she deliberately implied Tan Yanqing had many admirers to make Jian Hao face reality. Second, she didn’t know the context of their conversation, so she said “I don’t know” to give Tan Yanqing space to reject her. Third… she truly didn’t know.

Jian Hao watched Tan Yanqing’s eyebrows arch slightly and asked unhurriedly, “Then what about Auntie Tan and Jian Lai?”

“Jian Lai? How do you know that name?”

Jian Hao said softly, “Didn’t you tell me, Mom?”

“When did I ever tell you? Did your Auntie Zhu tell you?”

For so many years, Jian Lai’s name had been a taboo topic between them. Tan Yanqing had almost lost her mind looking for her; it had only gotten better recently. Jian You wouldn’t mention it to Jian Hao for fear she’d mindlessly ask Tan Yanqing who Jian Lai was and trigger her again.

Jian Hao: “Maybe. I forgot.” She looked at the person whose excuse had just crumbled and continued, “Mom, I’m asking—did Auntie Tan and Jian Lai ever kiss?”

“Kiss your head!” Jian You’s tone grew urgent. “Why are you asking this? Jian Hao, what are you thinking? Are you getting into bad habits? You wait right there at Tan Yanqing’s house. I’m coming over now.”

“No need, Mom. I’ll take a taxi back after dinner.” With that, she hung up.

Silence returned once more.

The very dead ribbonfish in the sink was silent, and so was Tan Yanqing. Getting her to say something seemed like an impossible task. But Jian Hao didn’t understand—the person who pretended to be drunk and called her “Lailai” was Tan Yanqing. The person who asked if she had anything to tell her was Tan Yanqing. So why was it that now, the person staying silent was also Tan Yanqing?

Jian Hao’s clenched fist had driven her nails deep into her palm, but compared to Tan Yanqing’s silence, that pain was nothing.

“Auntie, do you have any more excuses?”

Jian Hao stepped forward again, this time standing right beside her. She saw the eyes beneath Tan Yanqing’s long lashes; they were like a pool of clear, icy lake water on a plateau. She could see the coldness rising in them, but she couldn’t see the bottom. Her pale face looked sharp in profile. This was her normal state, but at this moment, Jian Hao felt it was a mask.

“I don’t believe anyone but you and me knows that we were right here, in this exact spot, having a so-called ‘try’…”

She watched Tan Yanqing’s reaction as she spoke. She wanted Tan Yanqing to turn and look at her, to see the reflection of herself in her eyes. Outside, the wind howled past like the sky was wailing.

Tan Yanqing was silent for a moment, then turned her gaze to Jian Hao. This was what Jian Hao wanted, but Tan Yanqing’s eyes were as dark as ink. The darkness was so thick Jian Hao couldn’t read the hidden meaning within.

Tan Yanqing’s voice was calm: “I didn’t tell your mother about those novels you’ve been reading, but maybe I should. They’ve made your head all muddled.” She sighed coldly. “Did you finish your homework today? Go do your homework.”