Back to Auntie’s School Days - Chapter 52

Jian Hao plopped down onto the chair in her room.

The central heating in the house was far too high, making her feel hot and restless. Just as she was unzipping her padded coat, there was a knock on the door.

The corners of her pursed mouth twitched upward.

The moment Tan Yanqing walked through the front door earlier, Jian Hao had leaned in close. She hadn’t smelled any foreign perfume on her, nor did she see any signs of swelling or broken skin on her lips. This meant her theory of “Tan Yanqing going on a date,” which she had brooded over all afternoon, was officially debunked.

Furthermore, it was New Year’s Eve; if she were on a date, it would be impossible for her to be back already. She would have at least stayed until after midnight.

As long as she wasn’t dating Auntie Shao, things were manageable. But! The fact that Tan Yanqing had rejected her earlier still left her with a tiny bit of a grudge.

The door gave a “creak.” Tan Yanqing, unable to wait for a response, pushed the door open from the outside.

Jian Hao waited until she could see Tan Yanqing fully enter in her peripheral vision before “whoosh”—she turned her body away, facing the wall opposite the door. She left Tan Yanqing with nothing but her back, putting on an act like she still didn’t want to deal with her.

This “angry” act was far too obvious to be real. But she was gambling. She was gambling that Tan Yanqing, despite seeing through her little tantrum, would still come over to coax her.

“Didn’t you say you were going to the square for the countdown with your classmates? How did the countdown end up at my house?”

Tan Yanqing’s voice sounded in her ear—light and soft. There was nothing special about it, yet after not hearing it for over a month, her ears surrendered faster than her heartbeat.

Jian Hao’s ears felt scorching hot.

Even though the chill on Tan Yanqing had not yet faded, and the December crispness of Nanqing had swirled into the air, lowering the temperature slightly, it wasn’t enough to quell the restlessness inside Jian Hao.

She mumbled something indistinguishable.

“Are you waiting at home first and then heading out close to midnight? But isn’t the house a bit far from the square?”

Tan Yanqing’s voice came again, and she sounded much closer now.

Jian Hao’s eyes, which had been curved with a hidden smile because Tan Yanqing was coaxing her, gradually lost their light upon hearing those words. Even the temperature in her ears dropped.

She glanced sideways over her shoulder, catching sight of Tan Yanqing’s legs beneath the overcoat. She said, “What about you? Why aren’t you waiting for the countdown with Auntie Shao?”

“Oh, she had something to do.”

Tan Yanqing’s voice was flat, devoid of any discernible emotion. But in Jian Hao’s ears, this sounded like total disappointment. So it wasn’t that she didn’t want to spend the night with Auntie Shao; it was that she wasn’t given the chance?

Jian Hao let out a cold laugh—not just in her head, she actually laughed out loud.

Tan Yanqing ignored it and asked, “How are you getting there later? Taking a taxi? Or is a classmate picking you up?”

Can’t you just say ‘I’ll drive you’?

Jian Hao’s heart turned half-cold, and her body was no longer restless. She whipped around. Tan Yanqing was standing just a step away. Jian Hao looked up at her. “You really want me to spend New Year’s with someone else that badly?!”

“Mhm? Didn’t you say you were going with classmates…?”

“Because you said first that you were having dinner with someone else.”

“Is there a connection between the two?”

The flush on Jian Hao’s face didn’t fade; instead, it grew deeper from anger. She stood up. When she was sitting, the lighting had prevented her from seeing Tan Yanqing’s expression clearly. But now, standing and looking at her at eye level, she saw a subtle, mischievous smile behind Tan Yanqing’s lenses.

Jian Hao realized what was happening and stomped her foot. This woman was doing it on purpose! She shot Tan Yanqing a glare and tried to walk past her.

“Where are you going?”

Tan Yanqing’s fragrance and her cool yet soft voice swirled around her.

Jian Hao kept a stiff face. “Home.”

Tan Yanqing followed her out of the room. “Not going to the square for the countdown? I’ll drive you.”

You want me gone that badly?

Jian Hao’s footsteps halted. She turned around and plopped down on the sofa, her chest rising and falling rapidly behind her crossed arms. She glanced at Tan Yanqing, who had a faint smile on her lips and appeared to be teasing her out of consideration.

Why tease her? Did she find her fake tantrum cute? Actually, she knew exactly what Tan Yanqing was doing. She wanted her to leave, to keep their distance.

But Jian Hao wouldn’t have it. The more Tan Yanqing wanted her to leave, the more she would stay.

Just as Tan Yanqing could wait seventeen years for Jian Lai just to know if she was still alive. If Tan Yanqing insisted that Jian Hao and Jian Lai were different, then she would never be with her. If she wasn’t a bit “clingy” and a bit “willful,” her relationship with Tan Yanqing would forever remain stuck between “Auntie” and “calling her Auntie.”

She refused. Aside from calling her Auntie Tan, she wanted to call her “Baby,” “Wife,” “Darling,” and “Taotao.” And not just her—she wanted the Auntie to call her those names, too.

Jian Hao gave a small huff. “Can’t you just let me sleep at your house? Why do you have to make me leave?”

Tan Yanqing’s eyebrows arched slightly. Jian Hao understood the look: Didn’t you say you were going home?

She was in the wrong, yet she spoke with total confidence. “You should have asked me to stay!~”

She wouldn’t. Tan Yanqing couldn’t wait for her to leave.

Jian Hao didn’t wait for a reply. She uncrossed her arms and took off her coat. She had skipped a session of evening self-study to come over and wait for Tan Yanqing, and she’d even forgotten to change her shoes. When she stepped onto the rug, she had kicked her shoes to the side and had been walking around barefoot.

Tan Yanqing brought a pair of slippers to her feet and asked, “Are you hungry?”

“I’ve already eaten.”

Tan Yanqing gave an “Mhm” and stood there watching her. “If you want to go to the countdown, I’ll take you.”

Jian Hao’s eyes lit up, her anger vanishing instantly. She said giggling, “I’m not going to the square. There are too many people; I’m afraid of a stampede.” She turned and pulled a box from her backpack, providing her own sound effect—”Ta-da!”—as she held it up to Tan Yanqing. “I bought sparklers. We can just light a couple in the yard later.”

Jian Hao’s eyes were sparkling, but Tan Yanqing’s gaze grew heavy. Clearly, she hadn’t expected Jian Hao to be so prepared.

Suddenly, she felt a bit grateful that Jian Hao hadn’t let herself be provoked into going home; otherwise, how would she have known that someone had prepared fireworks just to spend the New Year with her? But Jian Hao, who was acting like she didn’t want to deal with her a moment ago, now looked… if she had a tail, it would be wagging frantically.

Tan Yanqing took the box of sparklers and looked down at Jian Hao, saying flatly, “Fireworks are currently banned.”

Jian Hao: “…”

How unromantic. She blinked piteously. “Not even one?”

“No.”

“Not even if we light it inside the house?”

“You want me to break the law personally?” Tan Yanqing leaned over and put the box into the coffee table drawer. “We’ll do it another time.”

Such an attitude would be a blow to anyone; no matter how persistent Jian Hao was, she felt a sense of defeat.

If Jian Hao said she wanted to go home, Tan Yanqing would drive her. If she still didn’t leave, she would stay in the first-floor guest room. After all… Tan Yanqing was on the second floor.

Tan Yanqing’s other hand curled slightly. She rested her palm on the edge of the coffee table and slowly crouched down, looking at Jian Hao. “Do you want to go home?”

The light in Jian Hao’s eyes had long since dimmed. But seeing Tan Yanqing’s gesture, she grabbed a pillow, hugged it, and lay down. She turned her head, leaving Tan Yanqing with nothing but the back of her skull. Although she was a bit unhappy, she wouldn’t ignore her. She muttered, “I’m not going back to be a third wheel.”

“A third wheel?”

Jian Hao turned her head back, trying to see if Tan Yanqing truly didn’t know or was just pretending. Seeing the look of realization in Tan Yanqing’s eyes, she knew the woman simply hadn’t processed it yet.

Jian Hao gave a snorting laugh. “Helping them hide it to the point you forgot yourself, right?”

Tan Yanqing lowered her gaze. “I didn’t help them hide it. You simply never asked, so I never said.”

Jian Hao watched Tan Yanqing stand up as if to go upstairs. She bit her lip and said, “Right. You never say anything.”

Tan Yanqing’s footsteps paused. After a few seconds, she moved to leave again. Jian Hao sat up, staring at her silhouette. “Are you just going to keep everything bottled up in your heart and suffer alone?”

The living room fell into an immediate silence. After a long while, only the tick-tock of the clock could be heard. Then, the hum of the refrigerator. The heating in the house made it feel like a boiling boiler, yet Jian Hao felt as if she were inside that refrigerator. She gripped the corner of the pillow tightly, as if doing so would prevent something from leaving her.

“I don’t ask, you don’t tell. But if I ask, will you answer?”

The figure in gray in the distance looked as thin as a paper shadow. When Jian Hao asked once more, “When did you find out I was Jian Lai?”, she slowly turned around. She gazed at Jian Hao.

This morning, while brushing her teeth, she had seen her gray hairs. There were so many of them mixed in with the black, too many to count. Jian You had told her to dye it, saying that at thirty-four, having so much gray would make her look forty despite her face. These gray hairs hadn’t appeared overnight. They had been growing gradually since she was seventeen. Just like her age.

No one stays young forever. No one stays eighteen. Except for Jian Lai.

At first, Jian Lai was young because the image of her youth was etched into her mind. Later…

Tan Yanqing actually didn’t want to answer. But if she avoided everything about the past, it would look as if she hadn’t let it go. It would give Jian Hao an excuse to persist. Facing it wasn’t just for her own closure, but to give Jian Hao a way out.

She gave Jian Hao a slight smile. “There was a problem I spent many years solving. In the thirteenth year—when you were thirteen—I finally got the answer.”

“…” Jian Hao’s mouth hung open. “There’s no difference between me now and when I was a kid, except I’ve matured a bit. Why did it have to be when I was thirteen? What did I do? Or say?”

Tan Yanqing’s gaze moved from Jian Hao’s face to her right shoulder. Jian Hao followed her gaze. What’s wrong with it? She “whooshed” her right collar down. On her snow-white shoulder, there was a single prominent mole near the collarbone.

Jian Hao pulled her clothes back up and looked at Tan Yanqing. “Because of this?”

This mole had indeed suddenly appeared when she was thirteen. But Tan Yanqing recognized her because of a mole? She didn’t recognize her face? And wait a minute—when she was Jian Lai, she didn’t think she’d ever shown this mole to her. How did she know?

She asked all of it. Young people are like that; they can’t hide or suppress their thoughts. She was curious about the things and emotions Tan Yanqing kept hidden; she was curious about how she had kept it all inside. What had she endured? What had she suffered? Or what was she prepared to give up?

Jian Hao’s eyes were full of heartache. Tan Yanqing, meanwhile, was as indifferent as an object under a fluorescent light. Her gaze swept over Jian Hao’s shoulder and returned to her face.

She said: “When we saw that you looked identical, we guessed that Tiantian was a relative of Jian Lai.”

The reason for that guess was that Jian Lai only began to break down after seeing Jian You pick up the baby.

“Like Tiantian, Jian Lai might have been abandoned, so she hid her memories and wanted to start over. But when Tiantian appeared, it triggered her. She couldn’t accept it or bear it—she wanted to escape something—so she disappeared.”

During those days after she left without saying goodbye, Tan Yanqing began to suspect Jian Lai had been taken by her family or kidnapped. Of course, she also thought that Jian Lai was just playing with her and had run away on her own. Tan Yanqing had thought about not looking for her, about not making it a big deal.

But… what if she had really been kidnapped?

Tan Yanqing paused, then said, “Tiantian grew more and more like Jian Lai. We became more certain she was a relative.”

Tan Yanqing had asked the person who abandoned Tiantian about Jian Lai several times, but always got the same answer: they didn’t know anyone like her. However, her investigation showed that the family had a history of having too many children and giving them away. She became increasingly convinced that Jian Lai came from a relative of that family. So she went to the household registration department; during the census, she volunteered to check populations in deep mountain villages to register people, during which she rescued many victims of human trafficking.

Though she was credited for her work, she also earned enemies and was nearly killed in an assassination attempt. Before she lost consciousness, the images that flashed before her eyes, besides Jian Lai, were of Jian Hao.

Jian Lai remained a regret. So did Jian Hao. Back then, she had promised Jian Hao she would take her to the amusement park. If she died, would Jian Hao be angry with her? Would she blame her for not keeping her word and call her a puppy?

Thinking of this, in the dim alley illuminated by streetlights, the image of Jian Lai turning to tell her those words surfaced vividly.

When she woke up in the hospital and saw little Jian Hao sitting by her bed with her face a mess from crying, Tan Yanqing suppressed the bitterness in her heart.

She said she was certain when Jian Hao was thirteen, but in truth, as Jian Hao’s raw features grew to resemble Jian Lai more and more, she had already had her suspicions. She thought about what Jian Hao asked her about time travel. But she didn’t dare, and wasn’t willing, to believe it.

Until that day, when Jian Hao excitedly said she had a mole on her shoulder. That mole was in the exact same spot Tan Yanqing had seen on Jian Lai. She had no choice but to believe.

This answer left Jian Hao silent for a moment as she processed it. No wonder Tan Yanqing had lied earlier and said Jian Lai was her cousin; she really did think they were relatives! No wonder Jian You never suspected much.

Tan Yanqing still hadn’t answered one question. Jian Hao asked: “When did you ever see my mole?”

In this moment, Jian Hao seemed to become Jian Lai again.

Tan Yanqing: “The night before you disappeared, when I was taking off your clothes—”

“Ah?!”

Tan Yanqing was startled. Coming to her senses, her lips pressed into a thin line. On the sofa in the distance, Jian Hao’s face was bright red. Her left hand gripped one corner of the pillow while her right hand rubbed the other.

“We…” she asked cautiously, “did it…?”

Tan Yanqing shot her a cold glance.

Only then did Jian Hao manage to finish the sentence: “What did we do?”