Back to Auntie’s School Days - Chapter 55

Tan Yanqing’s birthday had arrived.

Her solar birthday is January 3rd, and her lunar birthday is the 18th day of the 11th month.

Since she was a child, Tan Yanqing’s mother always celebrated her lunar birthday. But since her mother passed away, Tan Yanqing had never celebrated it again.

Until Jian Hao’s birthday, when Jian Hao was six years old.

That day, Jian Sihong prepared a large table of food, and Jian You bought a big cake, inviting Tan Yanqing over to celebrate for Jian Hao.

Previously, Tan Yanqing had always been at school during Jian Hao’s birthdays and would miss them. But this time, having graduated from the police academy and applied to work back in Nanqing, she finally had the chance.

In the past, she always asked Jian You to deliver gifts on her behalf. This being the first time she celebrated for Jian Hao in person, she bought a Barbie doll—the kind every child loved back then.

Because she spent most of the year at school and only returned to Nanqing during breaks, she and the young Jian Hao weren’t very well-acquainted yet.

When she walked in, six-year-old Jian Hao had her hair in two pigtails. It wasn’t too cold in October; she wore a small white dress with white leggings underneath and pink princess shoes adorned with bow-knot diamonds.

Seeing her, Jian Hao froze completely. Although they weren’t close, they had met before. Without being prompted by Jian Sihong or Jian You, she proactively called out sweetly: “Auntie Tan~”

Tan Yanqing handed the gift to Jian Hao, leaned over, and rubbed the girl’s head. A faint smile touched her cool face.

“Tangtang, happy birthday.”

“Thank you, Auntie Tan~”

Tan Yanqing was invited to sit on the sofa. Jian Hao hid behind Jian You, peeking at her, too bashful to approach. When Jian You went into the kitchen to help Jian Sihong, Tan Yanqing’s attention didn’t immediately fall on little Jian Hao. Instead, she stared at the sofa beneath her.

Jian You hadn’t moved house yet, and this place still held traces of Jian Lai.

—This sofa I’m sitting on, Jian Lai once slept here.

So Jian Lai, where exactly did you go?

Did you stop wanting me?

Or do you have new friends and new family now?

Then what about me?

Whenever she thought of Jian Lai, she couldn’t help but spiral into these thoughts. Then she would start to resent her, to hate her, yet she couldn’t help but wonder what her own reaction would be if they met again. Would she cry or laugh? Be calm or sarcastic? Would it be a hug or a slap? Over the years, she had imagined a thousand reactions, but now, she only wanted one thing: Just let me see her.

“Sister Hong, for your next birthday, I’ll make a huge feast for you too.”

The voices of Jian You and Jian Sihong drifted from the kitchen. To be honest, she envied Jian You. She had a wonderful mother and was brave enough to love and hate; at an age where she was practically a child herself, she had the courage and decisiveness to adopt a baby.

The focus on Jian Lai was shifted as her gaze landed on Jian Hao, who had been hiding nearby and staring at her. Her pursed lips curved up slightly, her eyes softening as she smiled at little Jian Hao.

This gentleness gave the hesitant Jian Hao the courage to shuffle two steps toward her. Tan Yanqing let out a soft laugh and asked quietly: “Are you afraid of me?”

Jian Hao shook her head.

“Really? But your mom says you’re quite a troublemaker and a little chatterbox. Why won’t you say a word to me?”

Jian Hao hid her hands behind her back, her eyes flickering as she bit her lip and smiled.

Tan Yanqing said softly: “Are you shy?”

Jian Hao nodded.

“Why? Do you not remember me?”

Jian Hao licked her lips. Beneath her straight bangs, her watery eyes were bright, and her face was round—she looked exactly like the little mascot on Peko-chan lollipops. She smiled shyly: “I remember.”

“Then why be shy?” When speaking to the little cutie, Tan Yanqing’s tone took on a coaxing quality.

The little cutie said: “Auntie is pretty.”

“Just as pretty as Mommy.”

Hearing this, Tan Yanqing’s eyes curved involuntarily.

Just then, Tan Yanqing received a phone call. After hanging up, she realized that Jian Hao, who had been far away just a moment ago, was now right beside her. She looked at Jian Hao, and before she could speak, Jian Hao asked her a question.

“Auntie, are you unhappy?”

“Why would Tangtang ask that?”

“Because your eyes look like an overcast day.”

Tan Yanqing was stunned. “And why is that?”

Little Jian Hao lay against the sofa, not daring to look up. Her legs were crossed and kicking behind her, and her hands were twisted together in front. “Mommy says that when I smile, there are stars in my eyes, and having stars means being happy. But Auntie doesn’t have stars in her eyes, so Auntie is unhappy.”

Jian Hao turned her head, resting it on the sofa as she looked up at Tan Yanqing: “Auntie, shall I share the stars in my eyes with you?”

Tan Yanqing’s expression had changed subtly as Jian Hao spoke. She lowered her voice and asked: “If Tangtang gives the stars to me, what will Tangtang do?”

“I’ll have more,” Jian Hao giggled. “Mommy will give me so many, many more!”

“Does Tangtang love Mommy very much?”

“Mhm!” Jian Hao looked at Tan Yanqing, covering her mouth as she giggled. “Tangtang loves Auntie too.”

Charmed by her cuteness, Tan Yanqing replied: “Auntie likes Tangtang too.”

Jian Hao tilted her head, confused: “Isn’t it ‘love’?”

“Is ‘love’ and ‘like’ different?”

Jian Hao answered seriously: “Yes, they are different words.”

Tan Yanqing gave a slight smile. “Love. Auntie loves Tangtang.”

This was the first person Tan Yanqing had said “I love you” to, besides her mother. Even if it was just to coax a child. She pinched Jian Hao’s cheek and asked: “Does Tangtang like the doll Auntie gave you?”

“I love it!”

“Then let’s open it. Auntie will play with you, okay?”

“Okay, okay!”

At the start, Jian Hao had been formal and kept her distance. But after playing with the doll for a while, she grew bold enough to sit on Tan Yanqing’s lap. She even insisted on sitting right next to her during dinner. When Tan Yanqing prepared to leave after the meal, Jian Hao hooked her arms around her neck and wouldn’t let go, clamoring to go home with her. Fortunately, Jian Hao didn’t like to cry; she made a fuss for a bit but was soon pacified by Tan Yanqing’s promise to take her out to play the next day.

The following day, after she and Jian You took Jian Hao to the amusement park, Jian Hao suddenly asked her before they parted: “Auntie, when is your birthday?”

“Does Tangtang want to celebrate my birthday?”

“Yes, yes! I have a gift I want to give Auntie too.”

The six-year-old spoke very clearly and logically, but because she was eating a purple taro candy at the time, her voice was a bit wet and carried the soft, sweet scent of taro cake.

Tan Yanqing’s heart melted at that moment. She said: “My birthday is the 18th day of the 11th lunar month.”

“11th month, 18th day,” Jian Hao repeated, fearing she’d forget.

“It’s not the 18th day; it’s the lunar 18th. If that’s too hard to remember, how about a simpler one? January 3rd.”

“January 3rd,” Jian Hao repeated again.

“Mhm, January 3rd.”

She told Jian Hao her birthday, thinking she was just humoring a child who would forget by the next day. But on that January 3rd, she actually received a gift from Jian Hao—a hand-drawn picture. It depicted her with a cake, a sky full of stars, and the words: Happy Birthday Auntie. The lines were all crooked, and if Jian You hadn’t pointed it out, Tan Yanqing might not have recognized the characters for “Auntie.”

But every stroke was the little one’s sincere heart. She picked up Jian Hao and thanked her. Jian Hao hugged her neck and kissed her cheek, saying: “Auntie~ Mommy and I made the cake! Open it and look!~”

When she opened the cake and saw the equally crooked patterns on it, she smiled and prepared to cut the first piece for the wide-eyed, clearly hungry Jian Hao beside her. But just as she was about to make the cut, Jian Hao stopped her: “Auntie! You have to make a wish!”

“You have to make a wish!”

Jian You spoke as she stood up, pulling a lighter from somewhere and lighting the candles before heading toward the entryway to turn off the lights. During this, Zhu Xinsui picked up a birthday hat and plopped it onto Tan Yanqing’s head.

Tan Yanqing said softly: “At this age, are we still doing this?”

The “click” of the light turning off coincided with Jian Hao’s voice: “What do you mean ‘at this age’? I’m telling you, over thirty is a woman’s golden era, her prime! Don’t act like you’re seventy or eighty when you’re still young.”

Today was January 3rd.

Ever since that first birthday Jian Hao celebrated for her, Tan Yanqing had celebrated her solar birthday every year. Every year, Jian Hao and Jian You celebrated with her. After Zhu Xinsui returned, she joined in too. They celebrated at restaurants sometimes, but usually at Jian You’s house or her own.

She was working today when she received a call from Jian You, telling her to come straight home for dinner after work for her birthday. At the time, she glanced at the surveillance; Jian You and Zhu Xinsui had already entered her house to start cooking. She instinctively looked for Jian Hao’s silhouette but didn’t see it. She assumed Jian Hao was still at school. But when she arrived home, the food was already served.

Jian You: “Time to eat! But open the cake first!”

Zhu Xinsui went to the fridge to get the cake. Tan Yanqing asked: “Not waiting for Xiao Hao?”

Jian You looked down, avoiding her eyes. “Why wait for her? It’s your birthday.”

Tan Yanqing pursed her lips. “Is she not out of school yet?”

“No, she’s off today.” Jian You looked up, a trace of helplessness in her eyes. “I told her to come celebrate for you, but she said she had plans with a very important classmate and couldn’t make it.”

This was the first time Jian Hao hadn’t come to celebrate Tan Yanqing’s birthday. Even when her birthday coincided with Tan Yanqing’s business trips, Jian Hao would always wait for her return to hold a makeup celebration; she never missed one.

Jian You felt awkward too. She coughed and said, “Don’t mind it. The child is older now, in her rebellious phase; it’s normal to be inconsiderate.” She then drew a sharp breath and asked: “But… have you and Jian Hao already talked things out? So that’s why she…”

“Mhm.” Tan Yanqing looked at the food on the table and smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You could say we talked things out.”

Jian You guessed as much; otherwise, with Jian Hao’s personality, it would be impossible for her to choose to hang out with a classmate on Tan Yanqing’s birthday. She didn’t know what else to say, so she watched as Zhu Xinsui brought out the cake and joined her in inserting the candles.

Tan Yanqing pulled out her phone and checked. Jian Hao hadn’t sent her a single message.

At this moment, the gentle orange candlelight illuminated Tan Yanqing. Her long lashes flickered, casting shadows like butterflies on her face. There weren’t many candles—only one was lit. The light was dim, softening the sharp lines of Tan Yanqing’s face. She stared at the candle and slowly closed her eyes.

In previous years, she wished: Let Jian Lai appear before me.

Later, as Jian Hao grew up and suspicions arose, she wished: Let Xiao Hao grow up healthy, and let Jian Lai live a long life.

Even later, after Jian Hao turned thirteen, she wished: Let everything be well for Xiao Hao.

Now, she wished:

Now, she wished:

Now, she wished:

“…”

She had no wishes to make. Because the moment she closed her eyes, all she could think of was Jian Hao out with her classmate. What classmate? Boy or girl? Where did they go? What are they doing? Is it safe? Is she doing this on purpose?

Too many questions prevented her from finding peace. Her eyes were closed for only two seconds before they snapped open.

She went through the motions and blew out the candle. As Jian You turned on the lights and began fussing over the meal, Tan Yanqing casually checked her phone again.

Jian Hao hadn’t just failed to show up; she hadn’t even sent a text. Not one.

Tan Yanqing, do you really not know why?

This is exactly what you expected, what you caused, the result you wanted.

Jian Hao is keeping her distance now, she’s drifted away. She won’t pursue you anymore or ask you to be her girlfriend.

Shouldn’t you be happy?

Then why is there grievance, loss, and dissatisfaction in your heart?

And… that sour, stinging feeling.

What is that?

Jealousy?

Are you jealous?