Good Girl, You Can’t Eat This - Chapter 1

The weather in early summer was already beginning to turn slightly hot. Xie Chi followed the crowd out of the train station exit, and from far away, she spotted her sect nephew. The main reason was that he was holding a sign high above his head, with Xie Chi’s name written on it in red letters—bolded and underlined, too.

Xie Chi let out a sigh of relief and walked toward him. Even after she stood right in front of him, her sect nephew still did not react. Xie Chi pointed at herself, then pointed at the sign.

“Little Martial Uncle!”

He had not recognized her at all! There was no helping it. He had assumed Xie Chi would be wearing Daoist robes and carrying that famous Demon-Slaying Sword on her back. Who would have thought that his little martial uncle would be wearing a white T-shirt on top and jeans on the bottom—ripped jeans, no less? She also looked especially young, like a student who had just stepped through the gates of a university.

“Little Martial Uncle, why didn’t you bring the Demon-Slaying Sword? I didn’t even recognize you.” Her sect nephew scratched his head, very embarrassed. After all, this was also his first time meeting this little martial uncle who was ridiculously young but ridiculously senior in rank.

At the mention of this, Xie Chi felt a bit wronged. “It was confiscated at security. Senior Brother said he’d help me get it back, then send it to me another day.”

Sect Nephew: “…”

Oh, right. The Demon-Slaying Sword counted as a controlled blade, too. It was perfectly normal for it to be confiscated at security.

Xie Chi did not mention that, luckily, the Demon-Slaying Sword had not been sharpened. The security staff had thought it was a tourist souvenir she bought. Otherwise, she herself might have been detained too.

“All right. I still have a peachwood sword made from lightning-struck wood at my place. I’ll get one for Little Martial Uncle to use first, to prevent… to prevent your hands from feeling empty and uncomfortable.” Her sect nephew had originally wanted to say “for self-defense,” but after remembering her deeds, he honestly changed his words.

“Thank you.” Xie Chi nodded, then said, “Master said I should come down the mountain to help you with some kind of livestream? I don’t really understand. Can you explain it to me in detail?”

Her sect nephew knew that this little martial uncle of his had grown up on the mountain since childhood, so it was normal that she did not understand things like this. He quickly said, “It’s like this, Little Martial Uncle. Not long ago, a huge mess broke out over in the capital. It wasn’t handled in time, and the haunting spread quite widely. Someone over there contacted the Daoist Association and asked us to help put on a show to dispel feudal superstition.”

Weren’t they the ones who practiced feudal superstition? Xie Chi was very confused.

“It means livestreaming ghost-catching, but we have to make everyone watching believe that there are no ghosts in this world, and that all supernatural urban legends are caused by humans. For reference, you can look at Approaching Science. That program was guided behind the scenes by people in our line of work,” her sect nephew said with a cough. “There’s no helping it. We live in a harmonious society, after all.”

Xie Chi finally understood. Her mind was actually quite quick. “I understand. When do we start?”

“No hurry. Little Martial Uncle should rest properly first. We still have to contact the livestreaming platform.” Her sect nephew led Xie Chi outside. He had driven there, so he hurriedly opened the car door for his little martial uncle.

As Xie Chi got into the car, she asked doubtfully, “Will anyone watch it?”

“Yes. It seems quite a lot of people like watching that kind of livestream where people go on adventures in places with supernatural rumors. The website will promote it too. Besides, Little Martial Uncle, you’re pretty. Maybe you could even become an internet celebrity or something.” Her sect nephew chuckled. “You’ll become famous all at once!”

There was internet on the mountain, but Xie Chi rarely went online, so she only half understood some professional terms. From time to time, she asked her sect nephew questions, and little by little, she came to understand things like livestreaming.

At first, she had thought they chose her to descend the mountain because she was the best among people her age at exorcising evil spirits. After listening for a while, she finally realized that they had picked her because she was young and pretty. At a glance, she did not look like someone who caught ghosts, so it would be easy for people to associate her with a scammer.

Xie Chi was speechless for a while, but she did not get angry because of it. She merely opened her small bag and took out a box from inside.

The box was black. It was unknown what material it was made from. It was dark and gloomy, as if even sunlight falling on it would be absorbed.

The box was rectangular, shaped like a coffin, and slightly shorter than an ordinary person’s forearm.

She bit her finger and dripped blood onto the box. The fresh blood fell onto the surface and was quickly absorbed.

The sect nephew driving glanced at it and exclaimed in a low voice, “Little Martial Uncle is raising a ghost too?”

“I picked it up on the road.” Xie Chi stroked the box, her gaze softening slightly. “Master never allowed me to raise pets. Now that I’ve gone down the mountain, no one can control me anymore.”

This box was indeed modeled after a coffin. If opened, one would discover a palm-sized piece of jade inside. It looked as if blood had seeped into the jade, with little specks of red scattered within it.

She had picked up a ghost on the road. That ghost had been about to have its soul scattered, and it could barely even maintain its spirit body. That was why she was nourishing it with jade, feeding it with blood twice a day. She estimated that in at most a month, its soul would be solid again.

Jade could nourish souls, but not just any jade would have such good effects. Also, jade used to nourish souls had to be whole and intact. At the very least, there could not be any small holes in it. Otherwise, spiritual energy would leak out, and the effect would be almost negligible.

Her sect nephew did not dare say anything. He only grumbled inwardly: Little Martial Uncle really was Little Martial Uncle. Other people raised cats and dogs; she raised ghosts…

Many people in their line of work raised ghosts, but they all raised them to command and use them. He had truly never seen anyone raise one as a pet.

After feeding it today’s portion of blood, Xie Chi held the box and stroked it for a while before reluctantly putting it back into her backpack. By this time, they had already arrived. Her sect nephew was clearly quite wealthy. He lived in a detached villa, the sort where the garden alone was larger than an average family’s house.

Her sect nephew parked the car and led Xie Chi inside. Seeing Xie Chi glance around a few times, he smiled and said, “Does Little Martial Uncle like it? If you like it, I’ll give it to you.”

“No need.” Xie Chi shook her head. “Once the matter is done, I’ll still return to the mountain. What would I need a house for?”

“You could just leave it here. If Little Martial Uncle likes cats and dogs, you could also raise a whole bunch of them here. Just spend some money to hire people to take care of them.” Her sect nephew led Xie Chi into the house. He did not employ a nanny, but he kept two little ghosts at home, and they were even more useful than a nanny.

Unfortunately, ghosts and dogs had a hard time living peacefully together. Otherwise, having ghosts look after them would have worked too.

Xie Chi patted her bag. “If I raise too many, I won’t be able to take care of them. Senior Brother said that one should take care of one’s own pets. Otherwise, there’s no meaning in it.”

Her sect nephew was so amused that he could hardly stand it. He kept feeling that Little Martial Uncle’s serious expression was truly adorable. He first led Xie Chi to a room upstairs. The ghosts that worked in the house had already cleaned the room thoroughly, so she could move in directly.

“Little Martial Uncle, you must be tired after taking the train all the way here, right? Do you want to rest first, or eat first?”

Xie Chi had only brought that one small bag with her. She directly placed it on the bed, then took out the coffin-like box and put it on the bedside cabinet. “First bring me an incense burner and offerings. I’m not hungry right now. I’ll eat tonight. I want to take a shower and sleep for a while first.”

“All right. I’ll have someone bring the incense burner and other things over. Little Martial Uncle, rest well.” Her sect nephew was still a young man, after all. Since Xie Chi wanted to take a shower, it would not be appropriate for him to stay, so he quickly left.

About two minutes later, someone knocked on the door.

“Come in.”

The door creaked open, and a female ghost walked in. She was holding an incense burner, incense candles, and some offerings. Timidly, she asked, “Shall I arrange them for you?”

Xie Chi nodded. “Set out the incense burner and offerings. I’ll light the incense myself. After that, you can go out.”

The female ghost hurried forward and placed the incense burner, offerings, and everything else properly. Just as she put the things down, she suddenly heard a thud, like someone knocking on the underside of the table. The female ghost was just about to stretch her head down to take a look when a hand suddenly reached out from the box on the table. Pale fingers, grayish-blue nails—then it grabbed the female ghost’s wrist and forcibly dragged her toward the box.

The female ghost screamed and tried to struggle free, but that hand was astonishingly strong. No matter what she did, she could not break free. She could only be dragged little by little into the box. Just then, Xie Chi grabbed that hand by the wrist.

“This one can’t be eaten!”

That hand paused, then swiftly withdrew into the box. The female ghost was scared silly. She had mainly not been frightened by the hand, but by Xie Chi.

So… so that thing wanted to eat her? How cruel, not even letting ghosts off!

“You can go out.” Seeing that the female ghost was terrified, Xie Chi patted her shoulder to comfort her. “Another day, I’ll burn some paper money for you as compensation for the fright.”

The female ghost did not dare stay a minute longer. She hurriedly ran out of the room, even forgetting to open the door and directly slipping out through the crack.

Only after the female ghost left did Xie Chi stroke the box and say earnestly, “Didn’t I tell you before? You can’t randomly eat things. Why are you being disobedient again?”

The box moved. A single finger stretched out from inside and scratched at Xie Chi’s palm. Xie Chi’s gaze softened a little. She bit her finger again and dripped two drops of blood onto it. After the fresh blood was absorbed by the box, she patiently said, “Eating random things will easily give you a stomachache. Once your body gets a little better, I’ll find something else for you to eat, all right?”

After soothing the family’s little cutie, she finally went to take a shower. Once she finished showering, she returned to the table, took out paper and a brush, and prepared to write a letter back home.

Mainly, this was also her first time raising a ghost. She did not have much experience, so it was better to consult that group of experienced people back home.

After she finished writing the letter, she spent some paper money to ask a little ghost to help deliver it back. She estimated that in two or three days, the senior brothers, junior brothers, sect nephews, and the rest back home would be able to receive her letter.

Three cobblers could equal one Zhuge Liang. With so many people back home, there should be at least a few who were good at raising ghosts. They should be able to give her some advice, right?