No One Loves Me (GL) - Chapter 2

Hearing coughing coming from the kitchen, Xin Geling immediately set down the box and walked over.

“Mom, what’s wrong?”

Lin Huailan’s face was pale, yet she was still holding chopsticks and stirring the noodles in the boiling water. As she did, she said, “It’s nothing. Just an old problem.”

Xin Geling asked, “What old problem?”

“Bronchitis. I’m always coughing.”

Lin Huailan did not hide it from her. She took a bowl from the old plastic dish cabinet with the flip-up lid. Seeing that a layer of dust had gathered on the cabinet, she belatedly realized she should not have let her daughter see it. In a panic, she turned back and pushed her daughter outside.

“You sit outside first. Mom will have the noodles ready soon.”

Xin Geling caught her hand. “Mom, after I finish eating, I’ll clean up.”

When Lin Huailan’s hand was caught, she could not help choking up again. She raised her head and looked at her daughter. “No need. Mom can clean up.”

Xin Geling wiped away her tears for her. “I’m your daughter. I haven’t done anything for you. This is what I should do.”

Lin Huailan’s lips trembled, and for a long while, she could not speak. Xin Geling reminded her that the noodles were still cooking, and only then did Lin Huailan gather herself and go back to scoop them out.

At the dining table, Xin Geling ate the noodles and asked her, “What’s going on with the bronchitis? You didn’t have it before.”

Lin Huailan said carelessly, “I caught a cold a few times and didn’t recover properly, so it dragged on into bronchitis. It’s not some serious illness.”

Xin Geling asked, “Are you still teaching now?”

Lin Huailan’s gaze dodged. “No. I stopped. I got tired.”

Xin Geling took in her reaction and said nothing. She simply continued eating the noodles, only to find that they tasted a little “bitter.”

In her memory, Ms. Lin had been an excellent middle school teacher who loved cleanliness. No matter how small their home was, she always kept it spotless. She loved teaching and had been awarded the title of Outstanding Teacher several times.

After the divorce, Ms. Lin had actually become even stronger. On weekends, she would often take Xin Geling to the park for walks, and she had never let her lack food or clothes.

But now, dust covered the house as though no one had lived in it for years. She had stopped teaching too. How had she endured these seven years?

Xin Geling did not dare think about it.

After finishing the noodles, Xin Geling rolled up her sleeves, planning to clean the house.

Lin Huailan followed closely behind her. When Xin Geling wiped the counters, Lin Huailan stood by and watched. When Xin Geling stepped onto a stool to clear out the clutter on top of the wall cabinets, Lin Huailan watched her even more nervously.

Xin Geling smiled and let her follow. By the time the entire apartment was cleaned, it was already six in the evening. Xin Geling hung up the lace cover from the refrigerator, the yellowed tablecloth, and some old curtains on the balcony.

Before long, the balcony was filled with all kinds of furniture covers and cloths.

The lingering glow of the setting sun shone over them, making the scene seem as if it had happened only yesterday.

“Is the air conditioner broken?” Xin Geling tried to turn on the air conditioner, only to find that there was no response. She glanced to the side and saw a yellowed fan, its blades still stuck with cobwebs and black stains.

“It’s been broken for years. Mom doesn’t know how to fix it, so I bought a fan to make do.” Lin Huailan thought of how her daughter had come home and how hot the weather was. “Mom will call someone over to repair it now. We’ll have air conditioning soon.”

As she spoke, Lin Huailan was about to go out, but Xin Geling stopped her. “Mom, why call someone? Didn’t I always fix it before?”

Lin Huailan froze for a moment, then stared blankly as her daughter brought over two screwdrivers, stepped onto a stool, and began repairing the air conditioner seriously. Her eyes reddened again, uselessly. She had almost forgotten that her daughter could repair air conditioners.

After fixing the air conditioner, Xin Geling also dismantled the fan and washed it thoroughly, removing the stains and cobwebs before putting it back together. It immediately looked much cleaner and fresher.

At night, after washing up, Xin Geling put on the black tank top and pants Ms. Lin had found for her from seven years ago. Wiping her damp hair as she came out, she saw Lin Huailan tidying up Xie Zhitang’s box.

“Mom, what are you doing?”

Lin Huailan was about to open the door. “Taking it out to throw it away. We don’t want her things.”

Xin Geling thought of how Ms. Lin no longer taught, how the air conditioner had been broken for years and she still had not called anyone to fix it. She could roughly guess that after her mother lost her source of income, life must have been tight.

If this had been seven years ago, she might have listened and refused to accept someone else’s things. But now, she needed them, especially the electronic devices.

She needed to reconnect with society as quickly as possible.

Xin Geling gently stopped her and closed the door. “Mom, it’s her goodwill.”

Lin Huailan was indignant. “Bullshit goodwill. Can these scraps make up for seven years of your life in prison?!”

“You don’t even know how outrageous her family was! After you went in, they moved away immediately, afraid of having even the slightest connection to us!”

Xin Geling knew about this. Xie Zhitang had told her during her first prison visit that her family had moved away.

“Mom, the Xie family moving away had nothing to do with Xie Zhitang. She had just finished the college entrance exams back then. Something like moving house would have been her parents’ decision, wouldn’t it?”

Lin Huailan could not listen. “They’re all surnamed Xie. How could any of them be good people? Hurry up and throw these things away! Throw them away! Who cares about her scraps!”

“Mom, I need these things,” Xin Geling told her directly. “I’ve been disconnected from society for seven years. There are a lot of new things I need to understand as soon as possible.”

Only then did Lin Huailan calm down slightly, though she was still hesitant. “Can’t Mom buy them for you?”

Xin Geling said, “That would cost a lot of money. Once we’re in a better position later, I’ll return these things to her. Is that all right?”

Seeing Lin Huailan’s attitude soften, Xin Geling took the box from her and led her to the bedroom to sleep. “All right. Go rest.”

Lin Huailan realized she had been pushed into her daughter’s room. “I’m not sleeping in your room.”

Xin Geling knew she was distressed for her. There was only one room with air conditioning. Although they had slept together when she was little, after she grew up, Ms. Lin had moved to the other room and left the air-conditioned room for her daughter.

“Stop making a fuss, Mom. I’ll sleep in your room.” Xin Geling picked up the table fan and turned to sleep in the room next door, even closing the door behind her. Even if Ms. Lin wanted to argue, she could not, and could only return to what had originally been her daughter’s room to sleep.

The air conditioner quietly sent out cool air, and the heat of summer obediently dispersed.

Lin Huailan lay on her daughter’s bed, crying and laughing at the same time. In the end, she fell into a deep sleep.

.

In the room on the other side of the wall, the fan whirred toward the single bed.

Xin Geling sat on the edge of the bed, letting the fan blow her hair dry. Her hair had not dried yet. With her elbows propped on her knees, she turned on the phone Xie Zhitang had bought her.

She explored it carefully and seriously.

Before going to prison, she had never touched a touchscreen phone. Although she had heard that touchscreen phones had appeared, Ms. Lin’s salary had not been enough to let her come into contact with something so trendy.

She had not expected that after being released, phones would feel even better than she had imagined.

Xie Zhitang had installed many apps for her. The old buttons had become a touchscreen. Xin Geling remembered an inmate once saying that WeChat was a new-generation chat app, already on par with QQ, and that even more people used WeChat now.

Xin Geling tapped into it and found that someone had registered an account for her. There was also a contact named “Tangtang.”

And one unread message.

Xin Geling tapped in to read it.

Tangtang: Sister, I’m Xie Zhitang.

A concise introduction. Xin Geling now knew who it was. She explored the input method for a while and quickly figured out how to type a reply, sending back an “Mm.”

It was just like chatting on QQ.

Unexpectedly, as soon as she sent it, the other side replied.

Tangtang: Sister, is there anything you don’t understand?

Xin Geling: I’m figuring it out.

Tangtang: My number is saved in your contacts. Call me directly if you need anything.

Xin Geling: Mm.

Xin Geling: Take the bank card back. I don’t need it.

Xin Geling: The things you bought are very practical. I’ll borrow them for a while first.

As soon as she sent that, the chat interface immediately popped up with a voice call.

Xin Geling was surprised, but still answered.

Xie Zhitang’s voice came from the other side. “Does Sister want to draw a clear line between us?”

Xin Geling said, “No.”

Xie Zhitang asked, “Then why are you rejecting my goodwill?”

Xin Geling said, “I’m not rejecting it. I’m borrowing it.”

Xie Zhitang suddenly could not speak. The cup she had been about to fill with water paused in midair, her slender, fair fingers holding the handle as if she were hesitating and weighing something. In the end, she set the cup in front of the built-in water dispenser and adjusted the temperature to forty degrees.

As the water trickled down, Xie Zhitang asked in return, “Since you’re borrowing them, why can’t you borrow the bank card?”

This time, Xin Geling was the one left speechless.

Xie Zhitang continued, “You and Auntie probably have quite a few places where you need to spend money. Just take it as my goodwill. Back then, my parents took me and moved away, leaving Auntie to face everything alone. I’ve always felt guilty about it.”

Listening to her say this, Xin Geling gathered her thoughts. “Then thank you. I’ll pay you back in the future.”

Xie Zhitang pressed the pause button, lifted the cup, and took a sip of water. “Sister, sleep early.”

Xin Geling said, “Mm. You too.”

After hanging up, Xie Zhitang walked to the sofa. She set the glass of water on the coffee table, still holding her phone in her hand. A moment later, she lay down on the soft sofa.

Her silk nightdress outlined a figure that was neither too slender nor too full, perfectly balanced. Yet Xie Zhitang stared at the empty living room before her, lost in thought as she recalled that scene from years ago.

She could not forget how terrified and panicked she had been when her underwear was pulled down. That man had been so strong. The difference in strength between them had made resistance impossible. When she saw him undoing his belt, only despair remained in her eyes.

Just then, a figure had suddenly descended from nowhere, dragging the man off her. Still in shock, she watched them fight.

The sound of the stone smashing into his forehead had been crisp and distant, branding itself into her mind.

The drunken man died at Xin Geling’s hands.

Xin Geling’s hands were covered in blood. After confirming the man was dead, she simply stared for a while. No one knew what she had been thinking at that moment. There was no regret on her face, nor the fear and terror of having killed someone.

She only pressed her lips together and walked silently to Xie Zhitang’s side. Half-squatting, half-kneeling, she picked up Xie Zhitang’s underwear and put it back on her.

Only after putting it on did Xin Geling belatedly realize that she had dirtied Xie Zhitang’s underwear, staining it with quite a bit of blood.

Xie Zhitang still remembered that she had teased, “Sorry. I got your underwear dirty.”

After saying that, Xin Geling grabbed the hem of her own shirt and wiped the blood from her hands. She wiped for over a minute. As she kept wiping, her mood visibly grew heavier and lower. Then she took out a phone.

At the time, Xie Zhitang thought she was going to turn herself in. But when she heard the soft murmur of “Mom,” she finally knew who Xin Geling had called.

In the dim grass, faint patches of light fell over that person. She knelt on the lawn beside Xie Zhitang and spoke calmly, apologizing to her mother.

“Mom… I’m sorry. I accidentally beat someone to death.”

After that, Xin Geling turned herself in, pleaded guilty in court, went to prison, and never said another word to Xie Zhitang.

As if she had removed Xie Zhitang from her life entirely.

When her memories returned, Xie Zhitang stared at the bright, glittering light on the ceiling. Even now, her heart still trembled at the gentleness that person had shown when putting her underwear back on for her.