The Eldest Princess Is So Annoying! - Chapter 2

In the sixth year of Yongding, in early summer.

Compared with the silent lotus pond in the Imperial Garden, Qianqing Palace was considerably more “lively.”

The reigning young emperor, Yang Hao—Eldest Princess Qie Ge’s full-blooded younger brother—was pacing back and forth through the hall with his hands clasped behind his back, muttering incessantly, “Imperial Sister, oh, Imperial Sister… Imperial Sister…”

Meanwhile, the woman he kept calling for was seated calmly in a chair nearby. Her slender, fair fingers lifted as she picked up the cup of freshly brewed tea beside her and began savoring it, paying him no attention whatsoever.

The delicate fragrance of tea curled upward, lingering at the tip of her nose before seeping into her heart. It tasted slightly bitter at first, but after she swallowed and savored the lingering flavor, she discovered a faint sweetness beneath it…

This tea was rather good.

Qie Ge decided that before leaving, she would have Xiao Lezi prepare some for her to take back to the Eldest Princess’s residence.

Yang Hao was already beside himself with anxiety. Had he not been concerned with preserving his dignity, he would have been jumping up and down by now. Yet look at his imperial sister—she was so composed, as though she had nothing whatsoever to do with the entire mess!

He desperately wanted to rush over and shake some sense into her. The fire was practically burning his eyebrows off, yet she was still leisurely drinking tea!

But how could he possibly dare?

When it came to Qie Ge, he both loved and feared her.

How deeply did he fear her?

Put it this way: the person he had feared most was their late imperial father. Qie Ge came second only to him.

For one thing, Qie Ge’s thoughts were impossible to decipher.

For another, she held grudges.

You would never know when you had offended this woman, much less when she would take her revenge. One moment, she might be smiling at you. The next, she might have you laughing as you cried.

Although Yang Hao had long since grown accustomed to being ignored by her, the situation was far too troublesome this time. Unable to endure it any longer, he rushed in front of Qie Ge, planted both hands on the table, and raised his voice.

“My dear Imperial Sister! It was bad enough that you provoked the Prince Consort and his younger brother into fighting—but why did you order someone to chop off the Prince Consort’s manhood?!”

Qie Ge finally looked at him.

She raised her eyes slightly and regarded the face before her, which resembled hers by about sixty percent. Yang Hao’s face had turned completely red from holding in his frustration, and none of the authority he displayed in the imperial court remained.

Her pearly teeth parted.

“The Prince Consort drank too much and attempted to force himself on me. Didn’t he deserve to have it cut off?”

Her tone was mild and unhurried, as though she were discussing something that had nothing to do with her.

Yang Hao’s anxiety immediately eased somewhat.

His expression turned grave. After pondering for a moment, he nodded.

“Mm… He did deserve it…”

Anyone who attempted to force himself on his imperial sister was obviously no good!

But then Yang Hao remembered that ever since the morning court session ended, the Prince Consort’s younger brother, Liu Puyu, had been begging for an audience with him. No matter how many times Yang Hao ordered Xiao Lezi to send him away, the man stubbornly refused to leave.

Left with no other choice, Yang Hao had agreed to see him.

And what a sight he had been!

The ordinarily elegant, fair-faced young gentleman had been beaten until his face was black and blue, resembling the plate of braised pig’s head meat on the table. It was such a horrifying and tragic sight that Yang Hao had nearly wanted to applaud whoever had beaten him.

Well done!

Every time Liu Puyu attended court, he looked at everyone around him with open disdain. Yang Hao had wanted to beat him for a long time because of it.

What was he acting so lofty for?

Hadn’t he still come running to become an official?

If he had any real principles, he should resign!

If Liu Puyu dared submit his resignation, Yang Hao would approve it on the spot!

Moreover, all anyone in Chang’an ever talked about was which poem Liu Puyu, Minister of the Court of Imperial Banquets, had composed yesterday, or which melody he had written today.

Of course, that was the main source of Yang Hao’s irritation.

He was clearly the more charming and dashing one!

Just look at Liu Puyu—delicate and effeminate, spending every day surrounded by women without the slightest trace of masculine spirit!

Yang Hao had assumed Liu Puyu had come to lodge a complaint.

Who would have imagined that the man would claim the relationship between his elder brother, Prince Consort Liu Pucheng, and the Eldest Princess had already fallen apart? He even said that the night before, the Eldest Princess had rejected the Prince Consort for his sake.

From this, Liu Puyu concluded that the Eldest Princess was truly interested in him.

He had then made an outrageously presumptuous request: he wished to marry Eldest Princess Qie Ge and begged His Majesty to decree their marriage!

What a joke!

If his imperial sister genuinely liked that pretty-faced Liu Puyu, Yang Hao would immediately hang himself for her to see!

But ultimately, marriage was an important matter. How could Yang Hao possibly dare make the decision on his imperial sister’s behalf?

He certainly could not do so before understanding exactly what had happened.

Thus, he had solemnly told Liu Puyu, “In that case, you should go kneel outside.”

Liu Puyu had stared blankly at him at first, but in the end, he obediently went outside and knelt.

Only then did Yang Hao send Xiao Lezi to investigate.

He learned that the two Liu brothers had come to blows over the Eldest Princess the day before. Then, early that morning, the Eldest Princess had ordered someone to chop off Prince Consort Liu Pucheng’s manhood.

Yang Hao had just been about to send someone to summon Qie Ge when she arrived of her own accord.

“But you… you… look at what you’ve done! One brother is recovering from his injuries at home, while the other is kneeling outside Qianqing Palace, demanding that I grant him a marriage decree. Imperial Sister, you’ve violated every one of the Seven Grounds for Divorce! What am I supposed to do?”

Qie Ge lowered her gaze without speaking and continued drinking her tea.

How could she not know what Yang Hao was thinking?

His main concern was clearly the man kneeling outside the hall.

Chief Eunuch Xiao Lezi was anxious.

Emperor Yang Hao was anxious.

Yet Eldest Princess Qie Ge alone remained utterly untroubled.

“Oh, my dearest sister! At least tell me how you intend to deal with this!”

Qie Ge set down her teacup, her voice still mild and leisurely.

“Then let him continue kneeling. I merely smiled at him a few times. How was I supposed to know what nonsense was going on inside his head?”

Yang Hao brightened upon hearing this.

Excellent! He would not have to hang himself after all.

“Then Imperial Sister means that you are not interested in Liu Puyu?”

Qie Ge rolled her eyes at him.

“He cannot carry a load on his shoulders or lift anything with his hands. What is there to like about him?”

Yang Hao immediately pressed his advantage.

“And what about the Prince Consort? How does Imperial Sister intend to deal with him?”

The corners of Qie Ge’s lips suddenly curved into a smile.

Well, well.

Yang Hao was trying to dump the entire problem into her lap.

A chill ran through Yang Hao’s body.

Following Qie Ge’s gaze, he discovered that she was staring directly at his crotch. Terrified, he hurriedly retreated several steps.

He had not forgotten that his imperial sister had just ordered the Prince Consort’s manhood chopped off.

Yang Hao hastily covered his vital parts and reminded her, “Imperial Sister, I am your own younger brother…”

Qie Ge rolled her eyes at him again.

How pathetic.

“The Prince Consort is now impotent. Divorce him.”

Yang Hao nodded so vigorously that his head resembled a pestle pounding garlic.

“Yes, yes, yes! Divorce him! Divorce him! Divorce him!”

He smiled ingratiatingly, but he was still unwilling to give up. Carefully, he asked, “Then what about Grand Secretariat Academician Liu—”

Before Yang Hao could finish, Qie Ge interrupted him.

“Then have him send Liu Pucheng into the palace. Isn’t Xiao Lezi short of an assistant?”

Chief Eunuch Xiao Lezi could no longer restrain himself.

He pulled out a handkerchief, raised his little finger delicately, and pretended to dab at the corners of his eyes. After letting out two aggrieved sobs, he said in an indescribably wounded voice, “Your Highness Qie Ge, this servant… this servant may be a eunuch… but back then, this servant was still a proper man with something between his legs… This servant does not want a man…”

Her Highness Qie Ge was far too cruel!

She could not treat him this way merely because he was a eunuch!

Yang Hao carefully examined Xiao Lezi, nodding from time to time.

Although Liu Pucheng was not as handsome as Liu Puyu, he was still better-looking than the average man. Then there was Xiao Lezi, who looked so weak that one kick could send him flying.

Putting the two of them together…

There was, strangely enough, something rather interesting about the idea.

Xiao Lezi grew increasingly uncomfortable beneath the emperor’s scrutiny. A few genuine tears even rolled down his cheeks, as though he had already glimpsed his future fate.

Heavens!

He did not want to be paired with a man!

Yang Hao stroked his chin and asked with a serious expression, “Imperial Sister, do you truly intend to make Liu Pucheng spend the rest of his life with Xiao Lezi?”

Qie Ge pressed a hand to her forehead.

What were these two imagining?!

“I meant that Xiao Lezi happens to need an assistant.”

Yang Hao looked somewhat embarrassed.

He had thoroughly humiliated himself in front of his imperial sister. To think that he had spent so long imagining the possibilities!

He could only disguise his embarrassment with loud laughter.

“Hahaha! I knew it! How could my benevolent and righteous imperial sister possibly deal with Liu Pucheng in such a manner?”

After speaking, he kicked Xiao Lezi and scolded him, “This is what comes of refusing to learn anything proper and reading those miscellaneous books every day! What sort of filthy nonsense fills your head?”

Xiao Lezi was secretly overjoyed.

His Majesty could hit him or scold him as much as he pleased, so long as he did not bestow a man upon him.

He shuffled closer to Yang Hao so that the emperor could kick him more accurately, smiling cheerfully as he said, “This servant knows his mistake! This servant knows his mistake!”

Qie Ge could no longer be bothered to watch the two of them put on their little performance.

She rose to her feet.

“Xiao Lezi, this tea is rather good. Prepare some and have it delivered to the Eldest Princess’s residence.”

Xiao Lezi replied, “Yes, Your Highness!”

“Imperial Sister, you’re leaving already? Aren’t you going to stay for a meal or something?”

Qie Ge glanced at Yang Hao, one slender eyebrow lifting.

She had already seen through his thoughts.

“Weren’t you hoping I would leave?”

Even after being exposed, Yang Hao shamelessly refused to admit it.

“Of course not! Imperial Sister, how could you think so poorly of me? I would love nothing more than for you to stay and keep me company.”

“Oh? Is that so? Very well, then. I shall grant your wish and stay.”

As she spoke, Qie Ge pretended to sit back down.

“Wait, wait, Imperial Sister…”

Yang Hao immediately panicked.

She could not stay!

If she did, who would deal with Liu Puyu?

Yang Hao could send Liu Puyu away once, but doing so a second time would be far more difficult. To eliminate the problem permanently, his imperial sister would have to handle it herself.

Qie Ge pressed her lips together in a soft laugh and said helplessly, “You really are…”

Ever since he was young, Yang Hao’s favorite thing had been staring foolishly whenever his imperial sister smiled.

His three elder imperial brothers had mocked him for it countless times.

Back then, his imperial sister had worn a smile every day.

But after their imperial father and mother passed away, the smile on her face changed. It no longer seemed genuine. There was even something else hidden within it.

His imperial sister looked remarkably similar to their mother.

Therefore, whenever she smiled at him, Yang Hao would scratch his head awkwardly while the tips of his ears slowly turned red.

This time was no exception.

“All right. I’m leaving.”

Someone was still waiting for her outside the hall.

At the entrance of Qianqing Palace, Liu Puyu pounded his numb knees with his fists.

Even so, he had no intention of getting up.

For the sake of his future happiness with the Eldest Princess, he had to endure!

The movements of Liu Puyu’s hands abruptly stopped.

A woman had suddenly entered his field of vision.

He stared at her in a daze.

The woman was dressed in magnificent crimson robes, with a pale-red gauze garment draped over them. The fabric revealed her fair, elegantly curved neck and clearly defined collarbones.

Her slender waist swayed as she walked with delicate steps, and her snow-white wrists showed beneath the light gauze. The folds of her skirt flowed gently down to the ground, lending even greater grace and softness to her movements.

Her three thousand strands of black hair had been arranged into a tassel-shaped bun, adorned with a hollow butterfly hairpin that trembled as she walked. Two locks of hair fell over her chest.

Her eyes were both enchanting and seductive, rippling with allure. The corners of her lips curved in an almost imperceptibly gentle smile.

Even with only the lightest touch of rouge and powder, she was alluring to the extreme. Every frown and every smile was enough to captivate a person’s soul.

Qie Ge walked up to Liu Puyu.

Seeing that he was still staring at her in such a manner, she could not help turning her gaze elsewhere.

Her personal maid, Qingqian, noticed and gave a light cough, attempting to awaken Liu Puyu from his trance.

Liu Puyu involuntarily swallowed.

Qingqian’s cough happened to call him back to his senses, and only then did he realize how badly he had lost his composure.

His face reddened.

He tried to stand, only to discover that his legs were far too numb. Before he could fully rise, he collapsed to the ground.

Liu Puyu simply remained kneeling and announced, “This subject, Liu Puyu, greets Your Highness Qie Ge!”

Qie Ge looked back at him.

“Lord Liu, you may rise.”

When she saw that Liu Puyu could not get up no matter how hard he tried, she waved to Qingqian beside her.

Understanding immediately, Qingqian stepped forward and helped Liu Puyu to his feet.

Liu Puyu’s face grew even redder.

He had already embarrassed himself several times in front of Her Highness Qie Ge today.

“This subject thanks Your Highness!”

“His Majesty told me that Lord Liu came here today because of me?”

Liu Puyu nodded solemnly.

“This subject will certainly treat Your Highness well in the future. I will never abandon you, no matter what happens!”

Qie Ge studied Liu Puyu and completely disregarded the sincerity in his eyes.

He spoke as though she had already agreed to marry him.

Qie Ge laughed softly.

“Lord Liu must be joking. You should return to your residence as soon as possible and stop wasting your time here. Rather than spending your efforts on this, you would be better off accomplishing something useful for the common people.”

Yet in Liu Puyu’s eyes, Qie Ge’s laugh was interpreted far too deeply.

He believed she was laughing at herself.

That made sense.

Her Highness had married so many times. Even if others never said anything aloud, she must surely understand the truth herself.

Liu Puyu believed that Her Highness was refusing him only because she feared that others would criticize and ridicule him.

A wave of pity for Qie Ge swept through his heart, and his desire to protect her grew even stronger.

“Your Highness, this subject does not care!”

A true gentleman had nothing to hide and nothing to fear.

For the sake of the woman he loved, what did other people’s gossip matter?

If he could not even withstand a few wagging tongues, how could he claim to love her?

Qie Ge’s gaze grew increasingly strange.

What in the world was Liu Puyu talking about?

“Lord Liu, I do not understand what you mean. As for everything you have said today, I shall pretend I never heard it.”

As she passed beside him, Qie Ge added, “Even after I divorce the Prince Consort, I will never marry Lord Liu.”

Qingqian glanced at Liu Puyu’s deathly pale face and sighed inwardly.

Of all the people Lord Liu could have fallen for, why did it have to be Her Highness?

Was this not a toad dreaming of eating swan meat?

Who in the entire Kingdom of Canglan was worthy of Her Highness?

Qingqian truly did not know.

At the very least, after spending so many years by Her Highness’s side, she had never encountered a single person who was.

Qingqian released Liu Puyu’s arm, turned around, and followed Qie Ge.

Without her support, Liu Puyu lost his balance and fell to the ground.

Impossible.

How could this be possible?

How could Her Highness not be interested in him?!

Unwilling to accept it, Liu Puyu turned and shouted at Qie Ge’s retreating back, “Your Highness claims you have no interest in this subject, but then allow me to ask—why did you favor me with three meaningful smiles at your residence?”

Qie Ge stopped walking.

Three meaningful smiles?

What an utter joke!

She turned around, a faint smile crossing her lips.

“What does Lord Liu think of my present smile? Am I also showing special affection toward you now?”

Liu Puyu was left speechless.

His throat seemed to have been blocked by something, and his heart felt as though it had been torn to pieces.

Yes, Qie Ge was smiling.

But within that smile, he could clearly see mockery.

She was mocking him.

Qie Ge no longer wished to waste words on him.

“Lord Liu would do well to possess some self-awareness. You cannot carry a load on your shoulders or lift anything with your hands. What about you is worthy of my interest? Your poetry, songs, and literary compositions?”

With that, she turned and walked away.

There were always people like him.

You merely smiled at them unintentionally a few times, yet they had already chosen the names of your future children and even decided where the two of you would be buried after death.

Ridiculous!

Liu Puyu slammed his fist against the ground.

Unable to carry anything on his shoulders or lift anything with his hands!

A civil official.

Her Highness despised him because he was a civil official!