After Transmigrating as a Beta, I Got Messed Up with an Alpha (BL) - Chapter 40

Pei Yule had harbored murderous intent before, thinking that while it might not be scientific to actually kill Huo Juan if he showed up at school, he definitely had to beat him up. Who else’s fault was it that he had to parade around with a neck full of marks?

Of course, if he lost his nerve upon seeing the guy, at the very least, he’d give him a massive eye-roll and then treat him like air. This guy is a dangerous element. He had to brand that thought into his brain. Regardless of whether he could actually manage the rest, avoiding him was a non-negotiable.

But then Huo Juan stopped coming to school. As time passed, Pei Yule’s anger faded. He wasn’t one to hold a grudge forever, and more importantly, he couldn’t deny he was worried that something had happened to him.

He had rationalized it: even he had nearly lost his mind under the influence of that Omega Chairman’s pheromones—he’d even dared to reach out his hand. Huo Juan likely had no control over his actions at that moment either. As for not telling him about the marks, they were mostly hidden by the high collar; maybe the guy just hadn’t noticed… so, he’d be magnanimous and not hold it against a sick person.

Of course, he was still going to avoid him.

Yet, even after his thoughts had shifted twice, Huo Juan still hadn’t appeared. Pei Yule felt both relieved and unsettled, his heart stuck in a state of suspense. He later analyzed why he felt this way.

Probably… because he saw Huo Juan as a friend. Since arriving in this world, Huo Juan was the person he had spent the most time with. Their initial meeting wasn’t great, but since the “Three Rules,” Huo Juan had changed; he never forced him. Looking back, aside from taking up a bit of his lunch break, the guy hadn’t done anything truly terrible. Even when he lost control, he hadn’t actually caused him any harm.

Once they’d cleared the air, he’d gradually come to view Huo Juan as a friend. Unlike Fei Yisa, this was a friend you had to worry about. He had personally witnessed the chaos caused by the pheromone disorder several times; he couldn’t just pretend it didn’t exist.

When Huo Juan confessed his feelings, his first instinct was to hide. But he hid not because he hated him—who hates someone just because they like you? He couldn’t do that. He didn’t hate Huo Juan; he just couldn’t accept it. Not wanting to lose one of the few friends he had in this world, avoidance was his only tool.

But now, seeing him after twelve days… seeing how much weight he’d lost, how hollow his eyes looked—the guy was the picture of someone who had just survived a major illness.

Pei Yule sighed inwardly. He knew he had softened. Fine. He’d worry about any regular friend in this state, let alone this Huo Juan who already caused him so much concern. Seeing him look like he was recovering from a crisis, how could he cold-heartedly turn him away?

“We’re on a public street. Let go of me first.”

He’d let himself be held for a while, afraid that pulling away too abruptly would hurt the guy who looked so frail. He finally spoke up to remind him.

The boy remained buried in his neck, his hot breath fanning against his skin. Hearing the words, he only tightened his grip. His large head nuzzled into Pei Yule’s neck, the hair causing a ticklish sensation.

…Give him an inch and he takes a mile.

Pei Yule took a deep breath. Instead of anger, he felt mostly helpless. He realized he had no defense against this version of Huo Juan. He waited a moment, inadvertently catching the curious gazes of passersby. He realized that to an outsider, they probably looked very intimate. In this world, seeing men hug or kiss on the street was common, but he didn’t want people assuming that about him and Huo Juan. He took another deep breath and called his name calmly. “Huo Juan, I’m serious. Let go.”

“…”

Knowing that pushing further would truly annoy him, Huo Juan stopped while he was ahead. He looked up, slowly released his arms, and straightened his body. Throughout the process, his gaze never left Pei Yule’s face.

Fifteen days. Half a month. Three hundred and sixty hours.

The bone-deep pain subsided slightly with the hug, but as they pulled apart, it screamed out in dissatisfaction. He restrained himself, staring intently.

Pei Yule felt his face grow hot under the gaze; it felt like the man was trying to stare a hole through him. Even without the hug, that focused, scorching look was hard to bear. He scratched his face, pretending to be casual, and asked the question that had been weighing on him: “What happened these past few days? Why haven’t you been to school?”

Looking at Huo Juan’s handsome face—visibly thinner than before—he paused, decided not to ignore it, and added: “Were you feeling very unwell?”

Huo Juan kept staring, shaking his head. “This Rut lasted quite a while.”

Pei Yule wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but the Alpha’s voice sounded lower than usual, with a hint of huskiness as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time. An Alpha’s Rut usually lasts five to seven days, rarely exceeding a week. According to Huo Juan, his had lasted two weeks?!

An Alpha in Rut without an Omega’s soothing is in a state of absolute torture every single second. While Pei Yule hadn’t experienced it, his “Level 10” understanding of this world told him it must have been agonizing.

He almost asked, “Didn’t you find an Omega to soothe you?” but one look at those hollowed, intense eyes told him that was a question he lacked the emotional intelligence to ask.

—I only lose control for you.

This man had said those words. And in the time they had known each other, Pei Yule noticed he ignored every other Omega. He ignored Alphas, too, but for Omegas, he truly wouldn’t give them a single glance. It didn’t seem like hatred, just a simple lack of desire for contact.

Besides, if he had found an Omega, he wouldn’t look like this. This man could be incredibly stubborn when he wanted to be. It was a headache.

“Why did it last so long? Was it… because of the pheromone disorder?”

“Mm. Perhaps.”

The doctors couldn’t find anything during the check-up, it was just harder to bear than any previous Rut. Likely because his pheromones realized there was a “medicine” available, but being unable to get close, they could only vent on his own body to express their dissatisfaction. By the time they finally settled, half a month had passed.

Huo Juan stared at Pei Yule, his fingers twitching as if to reach out, then stopping silently. He asked in a low voice: “Can I hold your hand?”

He wouldn’t do anything more. But just this once, he wanted contact. After half a month, that hug just wasn’t enough.

“…”

Pei Yule noticed the hand that had reached out and then retracted, and then glanced at Huo Juan’s face. The features were still handsome, but his lips were pale and his face was whiter than usual. Combined with the weight loss, he suddenly seemed fragile, making it impossible to find the heart to refuse.

After surviving a two-week Rut… fine, fine, just keep being soft-hearted, Pei Yule mocked himself. He reached out and grabbed Huo Juan’s wrist, muttering: “You weren’t this polite when you hugged me just now…”

Suddenly realizing that sentence sounded like he was inviting him not to be polite, he shut his mouth in shock and scratched his head awkwardly.

Whether Huo Juan hadn’t heard or was just slow to react, he paused for a moment before gripping back firmly. Pei Yule had just grabbed him casually, but the man opened his fingers one by one, sliding into the gaps to interlace them.

Pei Yule looked down, opened his mouth, but said nothing. Caring for the sick is everyone’s responsibility. He just didn’t want this guy, who had just recovered, to feel miserable. He told himself this, ignoring the sudden skip his heart took when Huo Juan’s fingers slid against his palm.

“…”

They walked in silence for a few seconds when he suddenly remembered something. He tried to pull his hand back, but the other refused. He had to remind him: “Didn’t you say… contact makes it harder later? So let go…” He had almost forgotten that detail.

“No,” Huo Juan answered. His long fingers tightened, but only with enough force to hold him, not to hurt him.

“…” He was so polite a second ago, now he’s rejecting me quite decisively.

Pei Yule was about to speak when he saw a flash of something strange across Huo Juan’s face. He was startled, thinking the guy was in pain. “I told you to let go, why won’t you listen…”

Before he could finish, Huo Juan yanked him and threw an arm around his shoulders, leading him into a small alleyway. “What’s wrong? What are you doing? Where are you taking me?”

Pei Yule was baffled by the sudden move. He was led a distance away, and despite pushing against him, he couldn’t break Huo Juan’s grip.

Huo Juan didn’t want to lie. He whispered: “Someone is following.” They had almost seen them.

“—What?” Pei Yule was confused. So what if someone is following, why hide? Then it hit him. He asked in surprise: “Did you sneak out?”

Huo Juan answered honestly: “Mm.”

This Rut had been more severe than any before. His family had tried to arrange an Omega for him again, but they couldn’t overcome his stubbornness and eventually gave up. But because of this, they were watching him even more closely. Even Xu Yanxi could only see him at the hospital. He had indeed just run away; since he was being discharged today, his family wanted to take him back to the main house. Once there, it wouldn’t be easy to leave. He’d be under constant watch.

Huo Juan knew he had always done things his own way. He was a headstrong person. He wanted his life in his own hands. What kind of life he lived, what kind of person he wanted… aside from himself, not even his instincts could make him yield.

Pei Yule didn’t understand. “Why sneak away? They must be people sent by your family; they’re just worried about you.” He turned his head, looking to see if the people Huo Juan mentioned were catching up. He wanted to give Huo Juan back; after all, he still looked unwell.

Huo Juan paused. “Worried about me?” If they were worried, would they have sent an Omega to crawl into his bed in the middle of the night? During his Rut. He had only been fourteen then. He’d kicked the person out and moved out as soon as the Rut ended.

Pei Yule was sensitive to shifts in emotion. He clearly heard the faint sarcasm beneath the boy’s low voice. He was an outsider and didn’t know the truth of the situation; he couldn’t just give his opinion. Pei Yule realized this, shut his mouth, and stopped looking back, following Huo Juan’s lead.

After a few minutes, he looked up at Huo Juan’s pale face and sighed again.

“—This way.” He stopped, tugged at Huo Juan’s hand, and made him follow. He didn’t know the man’s destination, but if he just wanted to hide, there was a better place nearby. The new dessert shop was right near his home. To hide, his place was closer; he didn’t want to wander through alleys, it was exhausting.

However, once the tall Alpha was standing quietly in his entryway, Pei Yule realized he had made a mistake. Why did he bring him home? Even if it was close, his brain must be rusty! Whenever it came to Huo Juan, his actions always outpaced his thoughts.

Could he kick him out now?

Looking at the Alpha, who was much paler and thinner than usual, Pei Yule dismissed the thought of kicking him out. He beckoned him from the entryway. “Come in, don’t just stand there. Find a seat. I’ll get you something to drink. All I have is plain water.”

He used talk to hide his awkwardness. Seeing Huo Juan obediently step into the living room, he rubbed his nose and added a warning: “Don’t do anything crazy, or I’ll kick you out.”

“Mm.” The Alpha nodded slowly.

If he had said “no,” Pei Yule might have felt more at ease. That serious nod made him feel like he was making a mountain out of a molehill. He stopped thinking about it and went into the kitchen. His place really only had water, but last time he was at Huo Juan’s, the guy had made him tea. Would just giving him plain water be too casual?

While hesitating, he saw a row of room-temperature milk on top of the fridge. Drinking a glass of warm milk before bed was a habit his sister had; she’d always make him one, and it really helped with sleep. He’d missed that when shopping and bought a carton. But he found it troublesome and rarely made it. Maybe his foundation was too poor; during the day he’d rack his brain to keep up with the teachers, so at night he’d just crash immediately and didn’t need it.

…Warm milk is good for the body. Huo Juan was usually such a picky eater; the fact that he was so tall must be thanks to his Alpha genes.

He thought about it, washed a small pot, turned on the stove, and poured in two cartons. Five minutes later, he walked out with two glasses.

The tall Alpha was sitting quietly on the sofa, not letting his eyes wander. He had been looking down at something, but when he heard footsteps, he looked up and stared straight at him. Pei Yule always felt this person’s gaze was too direct, making it hard to handle.

He coughed, placed one glass in front of Huo Juan, and said: “You’re not feeling well, drinking this might make you feel better.”

Huo Juan’s gaze fell on the glass emitting a faint white mist. He picked it up without a change in expression. “Thank you.”

Seeing him take an elegant sip with a normal expression, Pei Yule breathed a sigh of relief. He took his own glass, blew on the steam, and took a happy sip. A ring of white milk remained on his upper lip. Huo Juan’s gaze darkened. He silently lowered his eyelids and swallowed the liquid he usually disliked. His Adam’s apple bobbed—whether because of the milk or because of a certain someone.

Clack. Pei Yule exhaled and put down the empty glass. Noticing Huo Juan had finished his too, he felt it was time for business.

“Alright. I won’t ask why you’re hiding from your family, but this can’t go on. You must still be feeling unwell; you should see a doctor.” Having been weak and sickly since childhood, Pei Yule understood this well. He’d thrown tantrums too, but if you don’t see a doctor, the only one who suffers is you.

Huo Juan said: “I was discharged today.”

Pei Yule arched an eyebrow. “Discharged or not, you need to recover properly. You can’t be reckless. Do you know how much weight you’ve lost? It gave me a shock…” He muttered, his voice trailing off so he couldn’t be heard clearly. He wouldn’t admit he’d been worried even if it killed him.

Huo Juan whispered: “…I wanted to see you.”

Especially while isolated in the hospital, that deep yearning had been bone-deep. Pei Yule heard those words clearly; they carried a trace of tenderness and a faint craving. He tried to act calm, but his ears inevitably turned hot.

How had this person become so much more direct after half a month? He wasn’t like this before. Sensing the atmosphere turning strange, Pei Yule stood up abruptly, deciding to break the sticky mood. He said gruffly: “Well, you’ve seen me now. Fine. Go back home in a bit.”

Too dangerous. This person, with that face and that tone, saying he missed him… it was terrifying. He was supposed to only like girls, yet his heart just skipped two beats.

Alarm bells blared in Pei Yule’s mind. Sensing things were taking a turn for the worse, he started trying to usher him out. He shouldn’t have brought him home. When this person was forceful, he could be firm, but in this “pitiful” state, the guy was too good at bluffing; one wrong move and he’d fall for it.

“Can I stay tonight?”

Huo Juan, still sitting, looked up at him. He didn’t follow the “getting kicked out” vibe and instead made a new request.

“What?” Pei Yule’s eyes widened. Give this guy an inch and he takes a mile! He shook his head firmly. “No. Go back.”

“I want to stay.”

Pei Yule paused. The fingertips at his side were gently pinched by two of the Alpha’s fingers. He held them lightly, as if touching something fragile. Aside from the body heat, there was zero sense of offense; instead, there was an inexplicable feeling of being cherished.

And, perhaps due to the illness, the Alpha on the sofa seemed much softer than usual, without that strong, oppressive aura. His tone sounded the same as usual, but it carried an undeniable trace of fragile vulnerability.

“Let me stay. Just for one night.”

The man gently pinched his fingertip, staring at him intently, and said in a very, very soft voice:

“I won’t do anything.”