Appearing on a Marriage Show Before Getting Divorced - Chapter 28

By the time Chu Nian adjusted her emotions and finished showering, it was nearly midnight. She sat in the room, quietly observing everything around her.

Three years…

She hadn’t stepped foot in this house for three years. Yet this home—their room—seemed as though it had never changed.

She knew these three years had been a deep, jagged wound for Ruan Youran, but only when Chu Nian actually faced this reality did that empathetic pain surge up, fresh and bloody.

Their bedroom hadn’t changed at all…

The large bed was the violet color she loved; behind it hung the abstract cartoon portraits Ruan Youran had painted of them; the wardrobe was full of the light-colored dresses she favored… Her photos were still on the desk… every corner… even the watch she’d left behind, and the clothes she’d tossed aside after their last passionate moment before her filming trip…

Every place was scrubbed clean, but the arrangement hadn’t changed a bit. It was as if she had never left during those three years. Nothing had truly changed.

Chu Nian held Xiao Sao, stroking his soft fur and feeling his warm pink belly just as she had when he was a puppy. Her tears welled up bit by bit, only to be forced back again and again. She couldn’t imagine how Ruan Youran had forced herself to live through day after day in this environment.

12:30 AM

Chu Nian couldn’t sleep. With his “mother” back, Xiao Sao was already snoring soundly on the bed. A dog’s mind is simple; he was rescued by Chu Nian, and though they hadn’t met in years, he still recognized her as his master. Chu Nian got up to look at the stars from the terrace, but as she stepped into the living room, she unexpectedly caught the scent of smoke.

In the darkness, there was a tiny red ember from a cigarette. Chu Nian was silent for a moment before she switched on the light.

Ruan Youran was forced to squint. Seeing it was Chu Nian, she didn’t speak; her expression remained cold.

Chu Nian noticed that Youran had become quiet. Before, as long as Youran was there, that little mouth never stopped moving. Now, she was so taciturn. What can time change? One desperately tries to learn to open up and express herself… while the other has fully learned to shut up and bury everything in her heart.

Chu Nian remained silent for a moment before saying softly, “I’m hungry and want to cook some noodles. Do you want some?”

She wasn’t hungry at all. It was just that, suddenly speaking, she didn’t know how else to communicate with Youran.

Ruan Youran shook her head and continued smoking.

Chu Nian cooked a large portion of noodles. Even though Youran sat in the living room without speaking, Chu Nian’s heart felt an inexplicable spark of joy from this tiny bit of domestic “fire”—this trace of familiar routine.

When she brought the bowl of noodles out, Ruan Youran was tilting her head, looking at the stars outside. Her gaze was a bit empty, her expression vacant. Chu Nian pursed her lips and set the noodles on the table.

In the past, if she were willing to cook noodles, Youran would have clung to her and refused to let go, sharing bites sweetly. But now… she didn’t even look back once.

Chu Nian was prepared; she accepted the indifference calmly. She sat to the side and ate the noodles quietly. Chu Nian’s poise had been like this since childhood, as if she were professionally trained; she ate quietly, taking in the noodles strand by strand.

By the time she finished, Ruan Youran was on her fourth cigarette. Chu Nian set down her bowl, stared at her for a long time, and gave a light cough. Youran paused and crushed out the cigarette. She didn’t speak.

Chu Nian just watched her. At this distance, and being home, Chu Nian felt immensely satisfied.

After a moment of silence, Ruan Youran spoke. “I want to turn off the lights.”

She was used to the darkness. In the dark, she didn’t need to hide any of her emotions or thoughts. Chu Nian nodded and got up to turn off the lights, but she didn’t leave; she sat a quiet distance away from Youran.

It was unknown how much time passed. The air seemed to freeze, and neither moved a muscle.

Then, the lock of the security door turned. Ruan Qiu’s sighing voice drifted in: “Ugh, I’m exhausted. So sleepy, Madam.”

Chu Qing’s voice followed, “Hang in there. Didn’t we agree to finish everything so we could take Jianjian out to clear her head?”

“I’m really getting old. It’s been a long time since I worked shifts like this. My old back can’t take it.”

Ruan Qiu walked further in, her nose twitching. “That little brat Jianjian is smoking again. Madam, aren’t you going to do something?”

Chu Qing’s voice was low. “The child is hurting inside and won’t talk. Other than this one outlet for venting, there’s nothing else. How can I say anything? Also, why do you always egg me on? Don’t you have a mouth of your own?”

Ruan Qiu gave a little “hic” and began her usual pestering: “Madam knows best whether I have a mouth or not.”

Soon after, a very “colorful” sound of kissing drifted over…

Chu Nian remained silent; Ruan Youran followed suit. These two mothers… their “sword” was truly still sharp. Didn’t they say they were tired? They could still kiss at the door for ten minutes.

“Oh, enough, what are you doing? Are you going to eat me?” Ruan Qiu acted coy after getting her way. She straightened her clothes. “I’m going to go sneak a look at Jianjian to see if she’s still pretending to be asleep to fool me.”

These words were like a hand plucking at Chu Nian’s heartstrings. She looked toward Ruan Youran. Youran stood up and switched on the light. “No need to look.”

The moment the light came on, Chu Qing and Ruan Qiu looked at the two in surprise. “This is…”

Ruan Youran’s mood was very low. “This is Chu Nian. You know her, right?”

…

Youran continued, “The production crew needs to film. Director Niu specifically called to ask me to bring her home first to get used to the environment.”

Ruan Qiu: “…” Chu Qing: “…”

Having said that, Ruan Youran tilted her head to look at her two moms. Ruan Qiu finally realized she needed to react, so she immediately covered her mouth. “Nian Nian, you—”

Chu Nian had a forehead full of black lines. One had to say—Mom was a mogul in the entertainment industry, so why was her acting like a female lead in a 1970s soap opera?

Chu Qing, however, gave Ruan Qiu a pinch and nodded at Chu Nian. Chu Nian’s lips moved; she wanted to call her “Mom,” but feared Youran would find it offensive. She froze, not knowing how to address her.

Ruan Youran stared quietly at the three of them for a moment, a cold, mocking smile pulling at the corner of her mouth. “You’ve met.”

Jianjian’s sudden intelligence spike made all three of them freeze. Youran didn’t say another word; she walked alone into the guest room, opened the door, and closed it, locking herself in a safe space.

A long silence followed. Chu Qing looked at Chu Nian. “Nian Nian…”

Chu Nian nodded. “I understand. This is what I deserve to bear.”

The Next Morning

After a night of tossing and turning, Chu Nian wasn’t sad; instead, the tiny bit of hope in her heart was burning. Filming was starting the day after tomorrow, and she cherished the time spent with Ruan Youran. Even though Youran stayed in her room, Chu Nian got up early and prepared a delicious meal for the family.

Ruan Qiu pulled Chu Qing aside to discuss: “Shouldn’t we act a bit less calm? We should be hysterically fighting with Nian Nian, cursing her out or something.”

Chu Qing rolled her eyes. “You’re sick. I feel like your daughter already vaguely knows something. Why keep up the awkward acting?”

Ruan Qiu went silent. She looked at Chu Nian busy in the kitchen and sighed. “Feelings really can make people live or die. Did you see? Jianjian won’t give her the time of day, but I look at Chu Nian’s eyes… they have a spirit in them now. Completely different from the deadness before.”

Chu Qing didn’t want to gossip. “Stop with the useless talk. The focus is on Jianjian right now. She’s unhappy and closed off.”

Ruan Qiu nodded. She looked into Chu Qing’s eyes. “That’s as it should be. she has to release and vent. A wound has to scab over and fall off before it heals.”

Breakfast

Ruan Qiu went in to find Ruan Youran. Youran hadn’t slept all night, but now she was lying on the bed and refusing to get up. Ruan Qiu walked over, bent down, and hugged her daughter. “Get up and eat, hm?”

Youran didn’t speak. This expression and demeanor were exactly like Zhengzhi’s. Ruan Qiu’s heart stirred, and she habitually poked Youran’s cheek. “Get up and eat, or I’ll kiss you.”

Ruan Youran: “…” Is there a more terrifying mother in the world?

She was forced to drag herself up, wash her face, and go out with her bare skin showing. Chu Nian had made ordinary dishes, but the flavors were clearly everything Youran loved. Jianjian didn’t resist; she silently ate two buns and a bowl of porridge with her head down.

Ruan Qiu and Chu Qing looked on as if ready to cry. My God—after so many days of their daughter eating like a bird, there was finally a change. During these days, Ruan Qiu had talked herself hoarse to no avail.

Chu Nian was also satisfied. Although Youran still refused to communicate, after raising Zhengzhi all these years, the one thing she didn’t lack was patience.

In the afternoon, “Big Flower” called them. They hadn’t been in touch for years, and Big Flower was a bit nervous. “Nian Nian, we want to have a small class reunion this afternoon. Can you and Jianjian come? We know you’re busy and it’s inconvenient, so the Class Monitor said not to invite you at first. But we talked this morning and felt it wasn’t complete without you. Don’t worry, the place we chose…”

After hearing Big Flower out, Chu Nian went to see Ruan Youran. Youran was staring blankly at a lightbulb.

“Youran, Big Flower is asking if you can attend a class reunion.”

Ruan Youran turned her head, looked at Chu Nian, and nodded. Going out was fine. She didn’t want to be trapped in the house either. Sometimes the longer she stayed, the worse her mood became.

That day, Youran retreated into her room again. Ruan Qiu stood at the door looking in like a pining puppy, but received no response. Frustrated, she sat on the sofa.

Chu Qing was straightening her coat; lately, both she and Ruan Qiu were busy handing over work. She looked at Chu Nian. “Nian Nian, your mom and I have to go out. You and Jianjian…”

Chu Nian nodded. “I’ll stay with her.”

Chu Nian watched the clock for thirty minutes. At 10:30, she plucked up the courage to knock on Youran’s door.

“Come in.”

The light voice made Chu Nian’s heart race. When she walked in, she unexpectedly found Ruan Youran sitting on the rug building Legos. In that moment, Chu Nian, who had adjusted her emotions, suddenly teared up. Youran’s expression—even the way she tilted her head—was exactly like Zhengzhi’s. Chu Nian’s heart felt like a pool of spring water rippled by the wind; she wanted so badly to go over and hug her.

Seeing Chu Nian enter, Youran tilted her head. “What is it?”

Lately, she always needed to be doing something to stop her mind from wandering. She’d discovered these toys by chance. Though her skills weren’t great, holding something in her hands was better than letting her heart ache.

Chu Nian composed herself. “The place we agreed on for the afternoon is a bit far. We should head out. You—” She looked at Youran. “Shall I help you with your makeup?”

In the past, whenever they rarely attended events together, Youran would always pester Chu Nian to do her makeup. Chu Nian’s skill was excellent, creating a light, refreshing look. Youran looked at Chu Nian in silence; Chu Nian met her gaze. After an unknown amount of time, Youran nodded slightly.

Chu Nian smiled. She washed her hands, pulled a chair in front of Youran, and began to apply her makeup.

Chu Nian was incredibly familiar with this home; getting what she needed was easy. Even the housekeeper who came by was pleasantly surprised to see her. Chu Nian held Youran’s face very seriously, her eyes full of love.

Ruan Youran’s natural complexion was excellent, especially her skin. It was said that while pregnant with her, the “unreliable” Mother Ruan was very meticulous, drinking milk like water. Youran didn’t have the skincare anxiety of other actresses. But lately… she had neglected herself, leaving her skin sallow and dry.

Youran looked into her eyes and said slowly, “Your technique is even better than before.”

This must be the result of repeated practice, Youran thought. After all, it’s been three years. Since she disappeared suddenly, it would be normal to have had someone else by her side…

Chu Nian looked into her eyes, as if she could read her mind. “Except for you, I have never painted anyone else’s brows.”

Youran remembered back in their younger days when she visited Chu Nian on set. There was a newcomer who, backed by family money, was quite arrogant and always hovered around Chu Nian. Youran already disliked her, but then the girl actually acted coy with Chu Nian: “Sister, can you help me with my makeup?”

Chu Nian refused, but because of that one sentence, Youran “tortured” her for several rounds at home that night. Finally, she gripped Chu Nian’s neck and looked into her eyes: “I dare you to try painting someone else’s brows!”

Chu Nian had been both annoyed and doting. She’d had no choice but to wrap herself in a quilt. “You… truly…”

So long ago. Even though it was the past, Youran’s face turned slightly red. Chu Nian’s mood brightened at the sight. Her final task was to paint Youran’s lips. Youran’s lip shape was beautiful—not traditionally thin, but slightly upturned and very sexy.

Chu Nian was serious at first, but as she felt that softness, her heart rate accelerated. Her eyes locked onto Youran’s. She applied the lipstick stroke after stroke… she lingered on that sensation, refusing to leave.

Youran tilted her head to avoid her gaze and asked flatly, “Is it done?” Are my lips a wall? Do they need layer after layer of paint?

Chu Nian shook her head and said seriously, “You tilted your head and messed it up. Turn back. I’ll do it again. Don’t move.”

Ruan Youran: “…”

Chu Nian used a cotton pad to gently wipe Youran’s lips. Her eyes were fixed on Youran, her gaze so intense it could almost set her on fire. She wiped again and again… Youran felt as if her lips were about to burn from the friction.

It had been a long time. Except for when she was jealous or when Youran was in a cold war with her, Chu Nian had never looked at her with such intensity.

Youran’s heart rate was a bit erratic. She disliked this feeling of being controlled and instinctively wanted to escape. Just as she moved, Chu Nian said, “Don’t move, or I’ll have to start over.”

Her lips felt a bit tingly and numb… Youran simply sat there stiffly, letting Chu Nian finish. Chu Nian’s gaze was too hot, so she had to divert her attention. “Instead of this shade, I prefer something more pink.”

Something more pink.

Chu Nian’s lips curled into a smile. She looked into Youran’s eyes. “Are you talking about the color of my lips?”

Youran gave a start. She looked at Chu Nian—sure enough, her natural lip color leaned pink. She looked at Chu Nian with a gaze as cold as winter.

Chu Nian didn’t mind. A wisp of hair fell across her forehead; she licked her lips and hooked Youran with her eyes, leaning forward slightly.

“Do you want it?”