Back To The Past To Cherish You - Chapter 2

Transferring to Zhiting No. 3 Middle School was as easy as Ling Yan had expected.

Judging by her grades, she was, to put it bluntly, overqualified. The school would have been delighted to have her.

Yet the class assignment was exactly as she remembered.

She was placed in Class Five, where the struggling students were concentrated. The reason given was that “your uncle knows the homeroom teacher, and he’s conscientious and responsible.”

In truth, the man was rigid and chauvinistic. He was the sort of lunatic who would circle “girls being brave and bold” in a student’s homework, mark it with a huge red question mark, and write in small letters beside it: “Girls should be gentle and demure.”

Ling Yan didn’t object. Instead, she welcomed the opportunity. With a faint smile, she packed her schoolbag and quietly tucked the supplies she had prepared for faking injuries into an inner compartment.

She would treat everything happening now as a long dream about her younger years.

At least, before she died, she could use this dream to seek some justice for the girl she had been, trapped in thorns time and again.

“Qinqin, that girl has transferred here.”

It wasn’t until mid-September, half a month after school started, that Si Chun heard the news from her mother.

“Really?” Si Chun immediately bounded over to the computer to look at the name her mother had circled.

[Ling Yan, first-year Class Five.]

“Why is she in Class Five?” Si Chun had heard her mother complain about the atmosphere for studying in that class more than once. She asked without thinking, “Yanyan’s grades are good enough for her to be in my class. Ms. Yu would definitely like her.”

Ms. Yu was a kindly older woman who had watched Si Chun grow up and was nearing retirement. She cared for every student in her charge with equal attention, looking after them in both their studies and their lives regardless of their grades. Si Chun’s year would be the last she taught.

“She might have been assigned there because she arrived after term started, or because her family knows Class Five’s homeroom teacher. They may also have wanted to get her enrolled quickly so she could catch up with the coursework,” Si Jiao explained. “But if she does well in a class with poor grades, all the teachers will probably give her their full attention and do their best for her.”

Si Chun murmured in agreement, but her thoughts had drifted elsewhere.

It had never been difficult for Ling Yan to attract the attention she wanted in a crowd.

Her lover was always so dependable, so brilliant and dazzling, like a pale moon shining coolly over everything around her.

If that was so, why hadn’t young Ling Yan continued to shine in a new environment? Why had she kept such a low profile instead?

It was almost as if… being outstanding had become a shackle.

The thought sprang up so suddenly that Si Chun was startled. She quickly stamped it out.

What was she imagining? Couldn’t she hope for something good?

Before they had traveled back, she and Ling Yan had argued—not just once, but several times, over things that seemed to come out of nowhere. Si Chun could tell that Ling Yan was deliberately hiding something. She just didn’t know why, this time, Ling Yan hadn’t let her glimpse even a little of it, as she had in the past, so Si Chun would know where to begin looking for the truth.

Whatever the case, she wanted Ling Yan to be all right. No one was allowed to bully her!

Even so, the thought had sounded an alarm in Si Chun’s mind.

What happened to a child during middle school could have a profound effect on how they grew up.

She needed to see Ling Yan as soon as possible.

Unfortunately, back during military training, she had arranged to work on her math fundamentals with Ms. Yu after school each day. By the time tutoring ended and she had eaten dinner, it was straight into evening study hall. Class Five didn’t have evening study hall, so Ling Yan would probably have gone home by then.

There wasn’t much chance to see her between classes, either. Besides, Si Chun felt a little embarrassed at the thought of young Ling Yan, who had only just transferred, finding out that someone had specifically come looking for her.

To young Ling Yan, Si Chun was only a stranger. If she made a bad first impression, perhaps they would never end up together in the future.

Si Chun’s thoughts ran wild all evening. By the next morning, she had made up her mind. Before leaving home, she went over to Ms. Si Jiao, wrapped her arms around her, and asked sweetly, “Mom, Mom, could you do me a favor?”

“Yanyan, it’s true that your little brother doesn’t have much talent for studying, but he isn’t stupid. You just need to be patient with him. Why did you call him names?”

Ling Yan ate her bland, plain steamed bun at an unhurried pace. On hearing this, she even took a sip of rice porridge before lifting her eyes to her aunt, who had come to demand an explanation. “What are you talking about? I know studying doesn’t come easily to him, but I haven’t given up on him because of that. I was teaching him until eleven last night before I went back to my room.”

Failing to get the answer she wanted, her aunt frowned and spoke plainly. “You called him useless, didn’t you? Xiao Shen has always been good-tempered. He wouldn’t have complained to us adults unless you’d said something awful to him!”

“What if he dreamed that I called him useless, then blamed me for what happened in his dream? What am I supposed to do?” Finding the porridge too bland, Ling Yan peeled the shell from half a salted duck egg and regarded her aunt calmly. “Auntie, you’ve been through a lot yourself. You should know that fear can make people confuse dreams with reality.”

“Xiao Shen is afraid of studying. What he needs is a teacher with the ability and qualifications to teach him one-on-one. First, you address what’s troubling him, and then you think about improving his grades. What can I do? I’ve only just started middle school. Doesn’t that make sense?”

Ling Yan had deftly steered the conversation elsewhere, guiding it exactly where she wanted. Her aunt couldn’t find a way to argue. After a moment’s silence, she said grudgingly, “But Xiao Shen cried until his eyes were red. You’re his older sister. You’re family. You should at least comfort him.”

Remembering how she had made that idiot cry the night before, how he had stared at her wide-eyed without managing a single word, all the filthy things he usually said stuck in his throat, Ling Yan narrowed her eyes. “Of course. When I get home from school today, I’ll make sure to comfort him.”

She wouldn’t mind becoming a dark cloud over someone else’s head—one they could never shake for the rest of their life.

With Ms. Si Jiao’s help, Si Chun was allowed to miss one tutoring session.

Ms. Yu still wanted to know exactly why she needed to miss it, though.

“Are you having trouble concentrating? Are you unwell? Are we moving through the material too quickly?” Ms. Yu pushed up her thick glasses and looked with concern at the child who had popped in and out of her life since she was tiny.

She had heard Si Jiao say more than once that Qinqin had inherited her stubborn streak. She was usually well-behaved and considerate and rarely asked for anything, but once she wanted something badly enough, no one could stop her.

With her own hopes in mind, Si Chun told Ms. Yu outright, “A friend I met online has just transferred into Class Five. Her grades are really good, so I thought I’d go see whether she might be a promising student for you.”

Ms. Yu had heard about the transfer student and knew she was a girl. She also noticed that Si Chun looked a little unnatural and kept fidgeting with the hand at her side, but she chose to overlook it. Half joking and half serious, she asked, “What, if she really is a gifted student, would you like her to transfer into my class?”

Si Chun’s eyes curved with her smile. “Of course! Who takes better care of students than you?”

“All right, then. Go and have a look for me first. Those old fossils should still be willing to do me a favor.” Ms. Yu lightly patted her shoulder and agreed to let her miss the session.

So Si Chun began waiting for school to end.

But by the last lesson, she started worrying that, if she was spotted, she would need an excuse for being outside another class’s room. After some thought, she went to the gym and borrowed some sports clothes and a badminton racket. On her way past the school shop, she hesitated briefly, then bought a bag of little bread rolls and a bottle of the jasmine honey tea Ling Yan liked.

Ling Yan must be hungry by now, right? Maybe Si Chun could share the food with her and make a good first impression.

All sorts of rosy thoughts bubbled up in Si Chun’s mind, and she quickened her pace.

That little idea she’d had on the spur of the moment had taken so much time. What if Ling Yan had already left?

Class Five was on the third floor of the first-year building, at the end nearest the toilets. Si Chun climbed the stairs out of breath, paused in the corridor to recover, then approached quietly and peered into the classroom.

…She couldn’t see her in the front rows.

Si Chun didn’t actually know how tall Ling Yan had been at this age. She bent low and crept forward, and her eyes soon landed on a head of black hair at the back of the room.

Her heartbeat, which had only just settled, gave two hard thumps. She straightened instinctively and leaned closer, hoping to see more clearly through the reflective window.

What she saw next made her go pale with shock.

The girl’s black hair hung loose and disheveled, as though someone had just pulled it.

She was crouching alone in a corner of the classroom, picking books off the floor one by one and gathering them in her arms. Not far from her, a chair lay tipped over beside the trash can, her schoolbag still hanging from it.

Si Chun had considered this possibility. She had even come to see young Ling Yan specifically to rule out a worst case like this. Still, her eyes widened in disbelief.

The next moment, she felt someone’s gaze settle on her face.

The girl raised her deep blue eyes and looked at her coldly.

For some reason, Si Chun saw a profound hostility in them.

“Ling Yan!” Without a moment’s hesitation, Si Chun slapped the window hard and shouted the girl’s name.

She hurried to the classroom door and tried it, only to find it locked. She glanced at the windows; they were all locked from the inside. She rushed back to where she had been. “I’ll get someone to unlock the door right now! Don’t be afraid! I’ll be back soon!”

Ling Yan had never imagined Si Chun would come.

She had planned out her story and faked her injuries. All she had to do was endure until a security guard discovered her trapped in the classroom. Then she could play up how badly she had suffered and bring the matter to the attention of the head of year and the vice principal, who was making the rounds today. The bigger and more serious it became, the better. She wanted everyone involved to have a miserable night.

Si Chun had been gone for a while, yet her clear, anxious voice still left Ling Yan dazed.

…This had to be a dream.

She and Si Chun hadn’t known each other in middle school. There was no way Si Chun could have called out her name back then.

Because her grades were good, a few struggling students in her class had banded together to bully her. She had tried to get justice for herself and achieved nothing. Instead, everyone accused her of being “too sensitive,” and in the end she had chosen to resist silently in her own way.

They would all have to take the high school entrance exam anyway. It would be enough to excel just that once and qualify for a place at a key high school.

The younger Ling Yan had thought: she had to protect herself.

She had to keep her textbooks and notes neatly in her desk or schoolbag. She couldn’t let her eyes swell from crying again; it would damage her vision. And she couldn’t let her writing hand get hurt, or it would affect her performance on tests.

People said time softened everything. At twenty-three, she had long since left that environment behind, and her outlook and personality had changed drastically. Looking back as an adult, she found the bullies and the uncle who had repeatedly paid children to help him equally stupid and ridiculous.

She had calmly prepared to face it all alone. The one thing she hadn’t accounted for was Si Chun.

Ten minutes later, a security guard unlocked the classroom door.

Ling Yan had already put her books—and herself—in order. She didn’t want Si Chun to see the injuries she had faked, so she had rubbed the red marks away.

Yet the instant the door opened, Si Chun still stumbled into the room and pulled her into a tight embrace.

“It’s all right! It’s all right now! I’m here!”

A faint, clean, familiar scent of lavender surrounded Ling Yan. Ever since she and Si Chun had begun living together in a rented apartment during university, she had smelled it often. It came from an old-brand laundry detergent Si Chun loved, and it had become one of the things Ling Yan associated with her.

Ling Yan couldn’t help drawing a breath through her nose, restrained yet greedy, letting the scent fill her lungs.

“I brought you some little bread rolls and jasmine honey tea! Have something to tide you over!” The young Si Chun pushed them into her hands. Then, as if remembering something, she added hurriedly, “Come with me! We need to have the school nurse check whether you’re hurt…”

Ling Yan tightened her grip on the cap of the jasmine honey tea.

Why was this happening…

She had already decided to sever her relationship with Si Chun with her own hands. She wanted Si Chun to stop caring about this tangle of thorns that could only drag someone down into the abyss.

But…

But why, even in a dream, did she still long for Si Chun to save her?!

Almost ashamed of herself, Ling Yan finally took the hand the young Si Chun held out to her. Carrying the little bread rolls and her favorite drink, with her bulging schoolbag on her back, she silently followed behind.

Even if it was only for a little while.

She wanted to be with Si Chun.