Chapter 2
The person with her head lowered reading saw that the person beside her still had not left. Her brows furrowed slightly, and she looked over with a sharp gaze. “Something else?”
Mu Cheng forced out a smile and spread her hands. “No matter what, as long as I’ve explained it clearly, that’s fine. I didn’t have that kind of dream. Also, about me cursing you downstairs outside the dorm before—I was in a bad mood then and took it out on someone else. I spoke without thinking. I’m apologizing to you here. I’m sorry.”
Zhong Yingzhi did not answer. She turned back and continued reading.
Mu Cheng glanced at the book on her desk. The book was as thick as a brick, dense black text packed together across the pages. At a glance, technical terms in both Chinese and English were mixed together, deep and difficult to understand. It was a book related to her major.
Zhong Yingzhi was a sophomore in the finance department. Her family background was wealthy. To be precise, it was probably not as simple as merely “wealthy.” To describe it with a line Xiao Xiaoli often teased about in private: if the school hadn’t made living on campus mandatory, how would flat-headed little commoners like us ever have the chance to get involved with a rich second generation like her?
Of course, this so-called involvement stopped only at being roommates.
Their dorm was meant for four people, but only three lived there. Mu Cheng and Xiao Xiaoli had become ironclad bad friends. As for her relationship with Zhong Yingzhi, it could be said to be no different from strangers.
The two of them had different majors. Zhong Yingzhi was in finance, while Mu Cheng was in Chinese literature. Their majors were vastly different, and their interests were even more unrelated, so the two of them had no common language.
Perhaps “no common language” was not an accurate way to describe it. To be more precise, they basically had no communication at all.
Mu Cheng secretly complained to herself. This person never said a word every day. The moment she returned to the dorm, she buried her head in books. When you spoke ten sentences to her, it was already good if she answered one. Every day, she kept that cold face on, looking exactly like a walking air conditioner.
Complaints were complaints, but Mu Cheng’s attitude in apologizing was still very sincere. After all, she was the one at fault first. “Don’t take what I said back then to heart. You’re not angry, right?”
Zhong Yingzhi turned a page, impatience in her eyes, and replied coldly and stiffly, “No time.”
Just those two words, yet they expressed a lot.
“No time” could probably be explained separately as: I don’t have the time to get angry with an unimportant person like you. Even talking to you feels like a waste of time and a waste of life. Do you think I could possibly get angry with someone like you?
She had insulted her without leaving a trace. After being rebuffed several times in a row, Mu Cheng wanted to get angry but could not find a reason to. She took a deep breath, tactfully shut her mouth, and walked away.
Mu Cheng glanced at Xiao Xiaoli, the culprit who was standing nearby watching the show, and made a throat-slitting gesture at her.
Xiao Xiaoli sidled up to her with a cheap little grin and whispered, “So, did you have an erotic dream or not?”
Mu Cheng cracked her fingers, and her joints made a “crack” sound. “So, it looks like you want to fight me today.”
As for that strange dream, although Mu Cheng also had doubts, she did not think too deeply about it. She simply treated it as a relatively realistic dream.
On Saturday, Mu Cheng had no classes and stayed in the dorm playing games.
“Go in for me, charge in! Why are you afraid when I’m supporting you? You have to believe in me.”
Wearing her year-round unchanged grandma-style bright red pajamas, she half-lay on the bed, holding her phone and directing the battlefield. “Mid lane went to support top lane. Hurry over and steal the wave for me. The jungler isn’t there, so go steal his jungle. No problem, you can carry the whole match. What’s wrong with grabbing a little economy…”
The 0/10 support dragged the 0/8 ADC around crazily leeching waves and stealing jungle camps. Their teammates began spewing fragrant curses. Mu Cheng curled her lip and wisely chose to mute the in-game chat.
Unsurprisingly, they lost that match. Mu Cheng leisurely ate a spicy strip and, without taking it to heart, started the next round.
At that moment, a black unidentified object drifted past her eyes. Mu Cheng raised her hand and waved it away. Immediately afterward, she felt something was not quite right and lifted her eyes to look.
A flying cockroach.
Mu Cheng’s pupils dilated in shock. She no longer cared about the game. She tossed her phone aside and hurriedly jumped down from the bed.
Unexpectedly, this cockroach seemed to have taken a liking to her and insisted on flying back and forth above her head.
Barefoot, she jumped up and down all over the dorm. “What the hell, you dark little thing, go away, go away!”
At the same time, Zhong Yingzhi pushed open the bathroom door and walked out.
She was wearing a white bathrobe, her collarbones faintly visible. A thin mist still clung to her body, and her fair face showed a faint flush. A dry towel was draped over her shoulders, while her brownish-gold long hair was wet and dripping water.
The cockroach landed on the floor and scurried around beside Mu Cheng’s foot. Goosebumps rose all over her body. Her mind went blank, and in order to avoid the cockroach, she actually charged recklessly toward Zhong Yingzhi and jumped onto her.
Zhong Yingzhi looked at the person rushing toward her, froze for a moment, and subconsciously caught her.
Mu Cheng’s feet left the ground. Zhong Yingzhi was holding her sideways in her arms. Their eyes met, and an awkward atmosphere spread between them.
Xiao Xiaoli stood at the doorway, carrying takeout boxes in her hand. She looked at the scene in confusion and said, “Are you two playing princess carry?”
Zhong Yingzhi’s beautiful brows furrowed. The next second, she directly let go.
Caught off guard, Mu Cheng fell to the floor, landing on her butt first, and let out a pained cry. “Ah.”
Zhong Yingzhi ignored her and lowered her head to glance at the towel hanging over her shoulder. Displeasure welled up in her heart.
Two oily claw prints had stained the towel.
Mu Cheng had just finished eating spicy strips, and the oil stains on her hands had not been wiped clean yet. In that unexpected situation just now, all of it had been wiped onto Zhong Yingzhi’s towel.
Mu Cheng clutched her aching butt, hissing through her teeth as she climbed up. Angrily, she said, “Couldn’t you have told me before letting go? You dropped me like this. Shouldn’t you feel even a little guilty?”
Zhong Yingzhi took the towel off her shoulder. “The person who should feel guilty is you, right?”
Mu Cheng looked at the towel and said irritably, “I dirtied it, so I’ll wash it for you. Happy?”
Mu Cheng reached out to take the towel, but Zhong Yingzhi pulled her hand back, gave a cold chuckle, and casually tossed the towel into the trash can.
Mu Cheng looked at the towel in the trash can, then looked at Zhong Yingzhi. “What are you doing?”
The phone on the desk rang with a “ding-dong,” a monotonous system tone.
Zhong Yingzhi walked over, picked up the phone, glanced at the caller ID, frowned, then answered the call and left the dorm.
The corners of Mu Cheng’s mouth twitched. She took several deep breaths, suppressed her temper, bent down, and picked up the towel.
After Zhong Yingzhi finished the call, she returned to the dorm.
She glanced coldly at the person picking up the towel and said, “What are you doing?”
Mu Cheng curled her lip and did not answer.
Zhong Yingzhi said, “Do you have a hobby of recycling trash?”
Mu Cheng’s brows shot up. “What do you mean by that?”
Zhong Yingzhi replied lightly, “The literal meaning. Aren’t you in the Chinese department? You can’t even understand such a simple combination of words? I threw the towel into the trash can, which means I don’t want it anymore. Trash should stay in the trash can. Even if you pick it up and wash it clean, it’s still trash. Its essence can’t be changed.”
She was calling the towel trash, but in Mu Cheng’s ears, this was clearly a roundabout way of cursing at the mulberry while pointing at the locust—calling her trash.
Mu Cheng’s anger level shot up with a whoosh, rising and rising until she was furious beyond measure. In contrast, Zhong Yingzhi looked calm, as though it had nothing to do with her.
Zhong Yingzhi casually picked a dress from the wardrobe and walked into the bathroom, preparing to change.
Mu Cheng looked at the tightly shut bathroom door and laughed from anger. She threw the towel in her hand onto the floor and immediately wanted to rush in and argue with her.
Xiao Xiaoli grabbed Mu Cheng and advised, “Don’t be impulsive. Calm down, calm down. You’re all roommates. Anything can be discussed properly.”
“Discuss my ass.” Mu Cheng shook her off, rushed to the bathroom door, and kicked it violently several times. “Come out here.”
Before long, Zhong Yingzhi finished changing and walked out. The pale blue long dress hugged her body, making her cold, aloof temperament stand out even more.
She ignored Mu Cheng’s rage and asked, “Kicking doors—do you have some kind of mania?”
Mu Cheng: “??”
Zhong Yingzhi glanced at the time. “I’m very busy right now. Whatever it is, we can talk about it later. Of course, I actually don’t really want to talk to you.”
After saying that, Zhong Yingzhi picked up her bag and phone, then left the dorm expressionlessly.
Mu Cheng watched her departing back, one hand on the back of her neck. Both angry and amazed, she said, “Wow. What a wonderfully polite, marvelous person she is.”
…
For several nights in a row, she slept peacefully without dreams. Then, on this day, she once again sank into that strange dream.
She lay on the hospital bed, unable to move, her entire body aching endlessly.
It made it impossible to tell whether this was a dream or reality. Setting reason aside, this simply could not be a dream. What kind of dream would allow someone to truly feel such intense pain?
But if it was not a dream, then what could it be?
Broken fragments of conversation sounded beside her ear.
The male doctor stood to one side, hanging his stethoscope in front of his chest. “President Zhong can save her once, twice, three times, even four times. But what about after that? Can you save her in time every single time after this? This time, she jumped off a building. What about next time? Cutting her wrists, taking poison, or jumping into the sea? If she herself wants to die, no one can save her.”
Zhong Yingzhi looked at the person sleeping on the bed. She reached out, wanting to touch her brows and eyes. But just as she was about to touch her, her fingers trembled slightly, and she withdrew her hand.
Her expression was lonely and desolate. “I only want her to live well. Is that so hard?”
The doctor sighed faintly. “Although Miss Mu was barely rescued after this suicide attempt by jumping off a building, depression is an illness of the heart. An illness of the heart still needs medicine of the heart to cure it. If she herself cannot walk out of those past events, no one can help her.”
Jumping off a building to commit suicide? Depression? What exactly was this doctor talking about? The reason she was lying on a hospital bed right now, unable to move, was because she had committed suicide?
This really was an absurd and inexplicable dream.
Jumped off a building, jumped off a building, jumpeded off a building…
Those words kept echoing by Mu Cheng’s ears, repeating mechanically over and over. Then, certain fragments of memory suddenly rushed into her mind.
A balcony on the tenth floor. The wind was strong. The cold winter wind blew against the body, piercingly cold.
Mu Cheng stood at the edge of the balcony, wearing a thin gray fleece jacket. Her long hair hung over her shoulders, and the wind blew the bangs at her forehead into disarray. Her hair, which had once been overly thick, was now thin and sparse. Her cheeks were gaunt, her face sickly, and her eyes were ashen and dull.
Zhong Yingzhi stood one meter away, her cold face full of fear.
She looked at the person on the edge of the balcony and begged, “Don’t do this. I’m begging you.”
Mu Cheng looked up at the sky. Falling snow drifted down, like goose feathers filling the heavens. “It’s snowing. Being able to see a snowfall before dying actually seems pretty nice.”
“Xiao Cheng, will you come down?” Zhong Yingzhi’s eyes reddened, helpless and anxious.
Mu Cheng reached out and caught a snowflake. The snow landed in her palm, then immediately melted into water. “I’m really tired. I want to rest properly for a while.”
“If you’re tired, then we’ll go home. I’ll stay with you. No matter what, I’ll stay with you. Don’t leave me behind. Don’t leave me behind in this way. Please.” Zhong Yingzhi slowly shifted her steps, trying to get closer to her.
Mu Cheng sensed her intention and said agitatedly, “Don’t come over.”
Zhong Yingzhi quickly retreated several steps and raised her hands. “Okay, okay, I won’t go over.”
After she retreated, Mu Cheng’s agitated emotions eased slightly. “A-Ying, do you know? My whole life has been a failure. The only thing worth being glad about is that I met you, and that I really do like you…”
Zhong Yingzhi interrupted her. “If you like me, then don’t jump. If you like me, then live properly for me.”
“But…” Mu Cheng smiled, a bleak smile. “But I like myself more. I thought about it, and maybe I’m too selfish. Don’t blame me and don’t resent me. I’m just truly fed up. I’m in so much pain, do you understand?”
As though she were saying her final farewell, she spoke while taking a step back with one foot. Her left foot hung in midair, leaving her on the verge of falling.
Mu Cheng shook her head. “Forget it. You won’t understand.”
“How do you know I won’t understand? What right do you have to deny me?” Zhong Yingzhi’s lips trembled, and a faint sob hid in her voice. “If you dare jump, I won’t just resent you, hate you, and blame you. I’ll never forgive you for the rest of my life.”
“Thank you, but all I can say is thank you. I’m leaving.” Mu Cheng leaned backward, her gaze resolute, without the slightest hesitation, and threw herself down.
Zhong Yingzhi’s pupils widened. She rushed forward, wanting to grab her, but their hands crossed past each other.
She was a tiny bit too late and failed to catch her.
Zhong Yingzhi lay over the railing, stretching out the hand that had been one step too late, and watched helplessly as the person fell. The body crashed onto the roof of a small car below with a loud “bang.”
Dazzling crimson blood entered her sight.
Zhong Yingzhi trembled all over. Her body slowly slid down along the railing, and she curled up by the edge of it, clutching her chest as she let out painful whimpers. Tears fell drop by drop.
The dream startled her awake.
Mu Cheng’s eyes were bloodshot as she gasped for breath, as though she had nearly drowned.
Zhong Yingzhi passed by, looked at her once, then coldly withdrew her gaze and walked away.
Xiao Xiaoli walked over. “Look at all the sweat on your forehead. What’s wrong? Did you have another nightmare?”
Good thing she did not say it was an erotic dream this time.
Mu Cheng let out a long breath of stale air and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Recently, it’s like I’ve been possessed. I keep having all sorts of strange dreams. Just now, I actually dreamed that I jumped off a building.”
Xiao Xiaoli froze for a moment, then patted Mu Cheng’s shoulder and comforted her. “Although your confession got rejected, it’s not to the point where you should start thinking of jumping off a building. There are plenty of fish in the sea. There’s no need to hang yourself on one crooked tree.”
Mu Cheng slapped away the hand she had placed on her shoulder. “Screw you. Do you think my brain short-circuited? Me, jump off a building for that crooked tree Jiang Zhengzhi? In his dreams.”
As she spoke, Mu Cheng’s gaze could not help drifting toward Zhong Yingzhi.
She was sitting in front of her desk, her long hair falling loose to her waist. The dim yellow lamplight reflected onto her slender back.
Mu Cheng’s mood sank for no reason, and she murmured, “You seemed to be crying very sadly, the you in my dream.”
The her in those dreams always seemed to be crying.
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