I’m Done Being The Female Lead In This Historical Romance - Chapter 3

Meanwhile, Xie Ling’an’s return to the Xie residence threw the household into chaos.

The Hundred Flowers Banquet held at Princess Changping’s estate had been no minor occasion to begin with. After the commotion at the lake, most of the guests had been sent home early, naturally provoking a storm of discussion throughout the capital.

The mistress of the Xie household had lost her husband’s favor years ago. Timid by nature, she had long been suppressed by his concubines. As a result, the original Xie Ling’an had also been raised to be meek and submissive. Several children born of concubines lorded over her, and even when they bullied her, she never dared to voice her anger.

The original Xie Ling’an had always been quiet and reserved in public, with no desire to draw attention to herself. Now that she had jumped into the lake to save Princess Changping, she immediately became the center of everyone’s attention. When she returned to the residence and Xie Li learned what had happened, ideas instantly began forming in his mind.

That was the Eldest Princess, the biological daughter of the emperor and empress, who had been showered with affection since childhood! As the Vice Minister of Works, Xie Li was not so short-sighted that he cared only about the expensive gifts they might receive. His thoughts extended much further into the future.

For once, he regarded his second daughter in a new light. Xie Ling’an, however, had no desire to treat this convenient father of hers pleasantly. She merely said that she was tired, then returned to her bedchamber and began playing with a Western-style glass mirror.

The mirror reflected the young woman’s slightly weary yet still charming face. Xie Ling’an brushed aside a loose strand of hair and revealed a sweet smile.

It looked a little fake.

She raised the corners of her lips a little higher, and two faint dimples appeared on her slightly rounded cheeks.

Xie Ling’an continued practicing her expressions until she finally discovered several natural and endearing ones. She was wondering whether they met the requirements of her character setting when a noisy argument erupted outside her door.

Her maid was quarreling with her elder half-sister’s maid.

“She merely attended the Hundred Flowers Banquet and showed off a little. Princess Changping has not even said anything yet, but she’s already in such a hurry to act as though she’s performed some tremendous service?” The speaker was Qinghe, the senior maid serving Xie Ling’an’s elder half-sister. Accustomed to being arrogant and overbearing like her mistress, she had even dared to speak defiantly to the original Xie Ling’an. Now that she was speaking on her mistress’s behalf, she sounded exceptionally imposing. “The Eldest Miss kindly came to visit her, yet the Second Miss refused to see her earlier today. Isn’t she being much too arrogant?”

Xie Ling’an’s maid could no longer tolerate it and angrily retorted,

“Silence! The Second Miss is unwell and already informed the master that she would be resting. Who are you to make such malicious accusations against her?”

During the few days since her transmigration, Xie Ling’an had already absorbed all the original character’s memories. Scenes like this occurred frequently within the Xie residence and were hardly unusual.

In the past, the original Xie Ling’an had long since grown accustomed to such minor conflicts. Xie Xiaofu was arrogant and domineering, as well as favored by the family elders, so she had never taken Xie Ling’an seriously. At most, Xie Ling’an’s maid would be insulted a few times or perhaps beaten. If Xie Ling’an remained silently inside her room and did not interfere, the disturbance would soon die down.

Xie Ling’an, however, frowned.

Upon entering this novel, she had received a beginner’s system. It only required her to maintain her “green-tea” character in front of the main characters. Aside from that, it placed no restrictions on her.

After thinking briefly, Xie Ling’an put on an outer robe and picked up a relatively inexpensive porcelain ornament. Amid the clamor outside, she opened the door with an expressionless face.

The object in her hand smashed against the ground at Qinghe’s feet with a loud crash.

The sound of shattering porcelain rang out alongside the woman’s startled scream. Amid the commotion, Xie Ling’an spoke coldly, with none of her former gentleness or timidity remaining on her face.

“Xie Xiaofu, are you and your dog finished making a scene?”

Ji Lanyin naturally knew nothing about the grievances hidden behind the closed doors of the Xie residence. Two days after she fell into the lake, the emperor and empress finally returned from the outskirts of the capital.

Ji Lanyin had spent the past few days claiming to be ill and recuperating behind closed doors at her estate. As soon as her imperial mother returned to the capital, she came to visit. After first confirming that Ji Lanyin was unharmed, she immediately began questioning her about how she had fallen into the water.

Ji Lanyin had arranged the entire incident herself and did not want anyone else implicated. Moreover, even if she chose not to pursue the matter, servants responsible for allowing a princess to fall into the water might escape execution, but they would not escape punishment. Thus, she told the truth.

“It was my own carelessness that caused me to fall in. Qiao’er and Qiuping did everything they could to watch over me, and no one else was nearby at the time.”

The empress was initially startled. Then she looked distinctly dissatisfied and unwilling to let the matter go.

“This should not simply be brushed aside. Rest for the next few days. I will have an imperial physician examine you and prescribe something that will induce night sweats and troubled dreams. Then we can say that the fright left you suffering from heart palpitations. Since Lady Yao was managing the palace at the time, she will not be able to escape responsibility.”

After considering it, a flash of satisfaction appeared in her eyes.

“My health has been poor these past two years, so your father handed Lady Yao the authority to assist in managing the Six Palaces. We cannot allow her to make every decision concerning this year’s Mid-Autumn Banquet. You are the emperor’s legitimate daughter and have already come of age. It is time for you to learn how to manage such affairs.”

The empress and Noble Consort Yao had been bitter enemies for several decades. They had fought openly and secretly countless times within the imperial harem, and both had long sought an opportunity to bring the other down. Taking advantage of incidents to create trouble for each other had become habitual.

For some reason, however, Ji Lanyin found herself feeling strangely uncomfortable this time.

The seemingly real scenes from her dream once again surged through her mind.

In that vivid dream, she remained a noble and privileged imperial princess. Yet after Gu Xuan began abusing her, neither her imperial father nor her mother—both of whom constantly claimed to adore her—showed any intention of defending her.

She had fallen into the water, but when her father returned to the capital after praying for blessings, he had not come to her estate to visit her. Her mother had asked a few questions about her health, but had quickly turned to using the incident in her struggle against the noble consort.

As Ji Lanyin gazed at the empress’s still-beautiful face, her heart gradually turned cold. The happiness she had initially felt upon seeing her closest family after such a frightening experience vanished without a trace.

Regardless of whether the events in her dream were real, could her parents’ attitude toward her truly be called “love”?

For the first time in twenty years, Ji Lanyin began to harbor serious doubts about her life. It was like a seed planted within her heart. Although it had yet to grow into a flourishing tree, it had already fallen upon fertile soil and taken root.

Empress Li merely assumed that she was still feeling unwell. Seeing her daughter staring distractedly into the distance, she thought nothing of it and lovingly stroked Ji Lanyin’s cheek.

Ji Lanyin had inherited her mother’s exquisite beauty. After her coming-of-age ceremony, she had grown increasingly refined and graceful. In Great Rong, eighteen was considered marriageable age. Empress Li could not help thinking about the matter between her and Gu Xuan. Since no outsiders were present in the room, she asked Ji Lanyin for her opinion.

“When I fell into the water last time, Gu Xuan did not seem particularly concerned either. I have no interest in him. Mother, please tell Father not to mention this marriage for the time being.”

Ji Lanyin answered immediately.

Empress Li had a good impression of Gu Xuan, but the two had not yet formally become engaged. Their families had merely expressed some interest in the match. Her daughter was currently ill, and Ji Lanyin had always been sensible. Since this was the first time she had ever made such a request and it was not particularly serious, Empress Li assumed she was simply acting out of momentary displeasure and casually agreed.

Gu Xuan was the candidate her imperial father had personally selected. The marriages of princes and princesses were usually closely tied to affairs of the imperial court. Although the Gu family had not yet delivered betrothal gifts or formalized the engagement, Ji Lanyin could not directly reject the emperor’s choice. Otherwise, he might present her with another candidate afterward.

She had never been particularly interested in marriage. However, she knew that her parents had always raised her according to the standards expected of a princess destined for a political marriage alliance. Even if she was not sent to marry in a distant land, she would still be expected to marry the son of a noble family in the capital. Thus, her education in the zither, chess, calligraphy, painting, and other accomplishments had never been neglected. In the eyes of outsiders, she had always been the very model of a cultured and well-mannered noblewoman.

She had lived this way for twenty years. Yet after having that dream, Ji Lanyin could not escape a subtle sense that something was wrong.

She felt it toward Gu Xuan, toward her parents, and even… toward herself.

She had grown up sheltered and pampered in the inner chambers while obediently following every rule. Next, she was supposed to marry into another household, support her husband, and raise their children.

Was that truly the life she wanted?

But if it was not what she wanted, why had she spent the past twenty years living this way so calmly?

Empress Li gave her several more reminders and, as usual, sternly warned the servants of the princess’s estate to take better care of their mistress. Seeing that it was growing late, she departed with her retinue and returned to the palace.

Ji Lanyin was excused from seeing her off because she was unwell. Not long afterward, someone respectfully knocked on her door.

“Your Highness, we have found the information you asked us to investigate.”

Xie Ling’an was not some mysterious wanderer from the jianghu, but a properly raised young lady from a respectable family. Her entire life could be summarized on only a few thin sheets of paper.

When she was six, her entire family moved from Jiangling to the capital region. After that, she lived much like any other young woman. However, despite being the legitimate daughter, her position within the household was somewhat awkward. Xie Li’s habit of favoring his concubines while neglecting his wife had existed for many years. Ji Lanyin might occasionally have heard gossip about it, only to forget it afterward.

The young woman normally dressed quite plainly. Unlike most girls of sixteen or seventeen, she rarely wore bright or elaborate clothing. She continued wearing jewelry even after it had grown old and tarnished. Several of her half-sisters born of concubines frequently lorded over her and flaunted their power. Her biological mother was so weak that she could not suppress the concubines at all and simply allowed her own daughter to be bullied.

Occasionally, however, Xie Ling’an would fight back.

Her retaliation was never sharp or openly aggressive. Instead, she acted sweet and obedient in front of her father or other elders, presenting herself as pitiful and vulnerable. At times, she would even twist black into white. Faced with the young woman’s frail and delicate appearance, people would inevitably believe at least part of what she said.

Ji Lanyin had not expected her life within the Xie residence to be so difficult.

Anyone capable of surviving within the depths of the imperial palace was naturally no softhearted fool, and Ji Lanyin had no interest in seeking justice for strangers. Yet after reading the report, she could not help remembering the day she fell into the water—Xie Ling’an’s misty eyes and that sudden kiss.

Although they were both women, news that the Xie family’s legitimate daughter had bravely entered the water to save Princess Changping had already spread throughout the capital over the past two days. No one dared publicly mention the kiss, that was all.

Ji Lanyin disliked women who behaved like Xie Ling’an. Combined with the events of her dream, that dislike was strong enough to be called hatred. After reconsidering the incident over the past two days, she remembered that Xie Ling’an and the female swimming instructors had reached her almost simultaneously. It was difficult not to suspect that Xie Ling’an had acted merely to seize the opportunity and draw attention to herself.

Hah.

Ji Lanyin sneered inwardly.

She truly was a deeply calculating woman.

Ji Lanyin still could not stop thinking about the dream and the voice that had suddenly appeared. Even if she did not entirely believe the dream was real, her hostility toward the people within it was genuine.

However, Xie Ling’an had publicly saved her life. Failing to thank her properly would dishearten others and damage the imperial family’s dignity. Therefore, Ji Lanyin simply entrusted the matter to the Imperial Household Department. Its officials were all shrewd and socially astute, so they naturally selected an assortment of excellent gifts and delivered them to the Xie residence.

Meanwhile, the household of Prince Wu’an finally lost patience. They hoped to form a marriage alliance with the imperial family. Even if Gu Xuan was not expected to fawn excessively over Ji Lanyin, nothing had yet been settled, so he naturally needed to win the princess’s favor first.

Several days into Ji Lanyin’s supposed illness, Gu Xuan received a furious scolding from his elders. Left with no choice, he once again brought generous gifts to the princess’s estate.

Unfortunately, Xie Ling’an arrived as well.

Ji Lanyin felt a headache coming on.

Her health had never been particularly weak. She had not remained in the water for long that day and had already been lively and energetic again by the following morning. Her supposed illness over the past few days was merely an excuse to avoid trouble and give herself time to think.

Now that both of them had arrived, however, she could hardly refuse to see everyone.

Still, whenever she looked at those two, Ji Lanyin inevitably remembered that revolting dream.

As Xie Ling’an entered the princess’s estate, she immediately noticed Gu Xuan.

In all fairness, as the original novel’s male lead, Gu Xuan was undeniably handsome. He was dashing and elegant, possessing the distinctive sharpness of a man, like a keen sword concealed within its sheath. But the moment Xie Ling’an thought about the plot, disgust churned in her stomach.

“Miss Xie, be careful of the threshold.”

The threshold of the princess’s estate was quite high. As Xie Ling’an lifted her skirt to step over it, a warm, deep voice like a spring breeze sounded above her head. She looked up and saw Gu Xuan extending an arm, intending to offer her light support.

The system was still prattling beside her ear.

[The male and female leads are about to meet formally. Their romantic storyline is about to begin.]

Xie Ling’an: “Heh.”

Was that really the male and female leads’ romantic storyline?

No. It was the countdown to her death!

When Gu Xuan saw her evade his hand, he assumed she was merely shy. He smiled and entered the reception hall ahead of her.

Xie Ling’an was already walking slightly slower than he was, and she deliberately allowed herself to fall a short distance behind him. When Gu Xuan saw Ji Lanyin, he greeted her first before beginning to converse with her.

He merely offered the same words of concern that everyone else had repeated. Ji Lanyin had heard them so often over the past few days that her ears were nearly callused. Suppressing her disgust toward Gu Xuan, she responded with occasional perfunctory remarks.

Then a familiar figure entered her sight.

Xie Ling’an was dressed more brightly than usual. Her pink-and-blue robes complemented her hibiscus-like face. When she saw the two people inside, she gave Ji Lanyin a graceful smile. The pearl flowers among her black hair swayed gently, making her appear even more lively and radiant.

Once they had both arrived, Ji Lanyin ordered tea to be served. The refreshing fragrance of Snow-Capped Emerald tea soon filled the entire room.

The three of them were not particularly familiar with one another. With Gu Xuan, a man, also present, they had few topics they could comfortably discuss together. Xie Ling’an did most of the talking.

Her voice was crisp and pleasant. Even when she began chattering, she did not sound irritating. Instead, her entire body seemed to overflow with vitality.

Ji Lanyin watched her without revealing any emotion and discovered that Xie Ling’an did not constantly stare at Gu Xuan as she had in the dream. Whenever Gu Xuan joined the conversation, Second Miss Xie verbally agreed with him, yet her gaze remained fixed on Ji Lanyin.

Whenever their eyes occasionally met, however, Xie Ling’an would quickly lower her gaze. Her thick eyelashes trembled lightly, as though concealing words she had yet to say.

“Speaking of which, I think what happened that day was quite a coincidence. I happened to be standing nearby when Your Highness fell into the water, and I have been an excellent swimmer since childhood. Could this be considered fate between Your Highness and me?”

At the mention of the incident by the lake, Gu Xuan was the first to smile.

“Indeed. It was all thanks to Miss Xie.”

Xie Ling’an ignored him and raised her eyes toward Ji Lanyin.

Outside the window, the cotton rose hibiscuses bloomed brilliantly beneath the nurturing autumn wind. Several enchanting flowering branches quietly stretched into view, painting a splendid scene of mid-autumn.

Xie Ling’an’s glance appeared entirely casual. She soon lowered her eyes again and sipped the tea in her cup.

Gu Xuan had not noticed the exchange of glances between the two women. Realizing that the hour was growing late, he rose to take his leave.

The instant Gu Xuan said his farewells, Xie Ling’an stood as well. Seemingly by accident, the edge of her sleeve brushed across Ji Lanyin’s wrist.

It left behind a faint, tingling itch.

Ji Lanyin instinctively reached for her sleeve, only to seize Xie Ling’an’s entire wrist instead.

This woman was very thin. Her delicate wrist rested within Ji Lanyin’s palm, so slender that she could easily encircle it with one hand.

That was Ji Lanyin’s first thought.

Xie Ling’an stopped when Ji Lanyin pulled her back. She turned her head slightly, revealing a small section of her neck, smooth and pale as white jade.

Ji Lanyin’s breathing grew heavier.

“What did you mean just now?”

“Does Your Highness want to know?”

Xie Ling’an blinked her beautiful eyes.

“Then Your Highness must tell me something first—”

She paused.

“On the day you fell into the water, why did you take that step?”