Not Just Friends - Chapter 2

The Flower Season and You was a proper talent show. One hundred and nine girls in the prime of their youth gathered together to fight for the final nine spots in the debut group. Bai Muxi felt that the competition format was rather cruel, but when she thought about how she herself had fought her way out from among so many people on For Whom I Sing, it did not seem all that different.

It was just that back then, she had fought alone onstage. Now, she had become a mentor sitting in the audience seats. By all rights, she should have had a bit more room to breathe than before.

It should have been that way.

Sitting alone in the lounge, Bai Muxi let out a long sigh and collapsed onto the sofa like a robot whose battery had died, not wanting to move at all.

As the first guest mentor on the show, she needed to follow along and finish recording the first two episodes. The theme of these two episodes was the trainees’ first appearances, and with one hundred and nine people to get through, the runtime was honestly terrifying. So during recording, they were given a certain amount of break time.

To be honest, she really should not have been hiding alone in the lounge at a time like this. Whether she went to talk with the trainees or chatted with the other mentors, it would be far better for interpersonal relations and screen time. Bai Muxi was very clear about all of that too.

But after forcing herself to hold on until the recording reached the break, she really could no longer endure the silent pressure. In the end, she chose to flee in panic.

…How should she put it? From the moment the lights came on after she finished singing and she discovered that her seat was right next to Shen Zhong’s, Bai Muxi felt like she was about to give out.

Only after the final note of Nervous ended did the cheers below the stage gradually erupt. Her fans called out “Baibai” and “Muxi,” their voices blending together until they were almost deafening. She bowed to them one by one in acknowledgment, her eyes bright and her smile cheerful, so likable that anyone who looked at her would be fond of her.

Only she herself knew that at the time, her mind had been a muddled mess, all pasted into one sticky blur. The clearest thought in it was: The mentors’ seats are way too close to the stage.

They really were too close. So close that no matter how deliberately she let her gaze dart around everywhere, she still had no way to avoid her.

The heroine Bai Muxi had secretly written into her song was quietly watching her.

And Bai Muxi looked at the host, looked at the audience seats, looked at the ceiling—anywhere but at Shen Zhong, not daring to meet her eyes for even a single second. So the few times her peripheral vision swept past, under her desperate effort, all she left behind was a blurry figure. Tragically, however, that figure soon became clear again under her useless memory’s correction, piecing together a translucent, clear Shen Zhong.

Ever since Bai Muxi had first met Shen Zhong, this person had always been this excessively beautiful. The kind of outstanding figure one could spot at a glance no matter how many people she was placed among.

Bai Muxi had once heard a saying: when someone was too beautiful, people would instead become afraid to pursue them. In the past, she had scoffed at that. After all, Shen Zhong’s admirers had always flocked to her in droves; Bai Muxi had never seen their numbers diminish. But now, she could more or less understand what that saying meant. As one of Shen Zhong’s former pursuers, she truly did not dare approach her.

…Why, though? When she had rehearsed the process with the actress Shen Zhong replaced, the two of them had not been seated next to each other at all.

When Bai Muxi forced herself to walk toward the seat that belonged to the guest mentor, her feelings were truly complicated. She turned those few steps into something particularly tragic and lone-brave; even Heracles on his way to complete the Twelve Labors could not have felt much different. The two chairs were not actually placed that close together, and her seat looked quite comfortable, but simply because it was placed beside Shen Zhong, it seemed to be made of thorns. When Bai Muxi sat down tremblingly, she was practically about to lose control of her expression.

The familiar scent of cypress did not care how violently her mood was rising and falling. It had already, quite rudely, rushed to the tip of her nose, which for some reason was especially sensitive at this moment, like old times clinging to her and refusing to let go.

Compared with her wavering, the person beside her seemed much calmer, just as she had been in the past. Shen Zhong turned slightly toward her, easily breaking through that pitiful little distance Bai Muxi had painstakingly created by sitting on the edge of her chair. Shen Zhong looked over. Between the opening and closing of her lips, her voice was soft, yet it sent a tremor through Bai Muxi.

“It sounded beautiful.”

There were who knew how many cameras around them filming from every possible angle. Now, because Shen Zhong—who had always been famously sparing with words—had unusually taken the initiative to speak, all the cameras turned toward them in unison. And so Bai Muxi saw the image of the two of them appear on the large screen. Shen Zhong was looking at her intently, while she was—pretending to look at the screen.

No matter what, it would be unreasonable not to respond at a time like this. Bai Muxi held her breath and slowly turned her eyes forward, taking that familiar face into her sight.

After several years apart, she had sometimes imagined that perhaps Shen Zhong would no longer look the way she did in Bai Muxi’s memories when they met again. But that was not the case. Shen Zhong was still like that. There was always an atmosphere around her as if she were indifferent to everything, like cold mist, and also like the moon. So when a person like that focused on looking at you, it was very easy to produce the illusion of being especially favored, as if the moon had fallen to your side and you could pluck it down just by reaching out.

Her makeup today seemed even more exquisite than when Bai Muxi had seen her on television before. Bai Muxi thought. Or maybe it was only an illusion. After all, Shen Zhong looked beautiful even without makeup.

She smiled at Shen Zhong, maintaining just the right amount of brightness and courtesy.

“…Thank you.”

Bai Muxi had always been a very easy artist to work with.

She was popular, good at warming up the atmosphere, had a sense of humor, and did not put on airs like an idol. Among collaborators, her reputation had always been good.

But today, she might just end up smashing that signature of hers.

Listening to the staff member in her in-ear monitor carefully remind her for the third time to talk more, Bai Muxi silently closed her eyes.

She wanted to talk more and perform well too. After all, the contestants on The Flower Season and You were indeed excellent. There were quite a few contestants whose main focus was vocals and whose singing made her eyes light up as she listened. Logically speaking, she had a lot of room to shine here. This was practically a situation that had crashed right into her area of expertise.

But—

But Shen Zhong was acting very abnormal today.

Beside her, Shen Zhong was currently giving a serious critique of the contestant onstage. At this moment, she was actually very normal. There was not much expression on her cool face, and the content of her comments was very much in her style. She directly pointed out the shortcomings of the stage.

“—It’s clear that the dance was newly learned. If you had more time to learn it, the effect should have been better. It’s a little regrettable.”

What she said was the truth. Although she was an actress, Shen Zhong had studied ballet for more than ten years since childhood and did have the ability to comment on dance. It was just that she had always been rather blunt when speaking the truth, and her tone was always faint. People who were not familiar with her would always suspect that she was unhappy.

The way Shen Zhong was made it truly easy for others to misunderstand her. And she herself did not care. Every time, only Bai Muxi would be especially anxious, looking for opportunities to explain to others, wishing she could announce to the entire world the gentle, adorable Shen Zhong she knew, who was completely different from the Shen Zhong in everyone else’s understanding.

After Bai Muxi went abroad to study, there was clearly no one who had taken over that job.

Even if she had not dared deliberately pay attention, she had still heard a little about the public’s impression of Shen Zhong over the years. Seeing it in person now made it even clearer.

Bai Muxi quietly swept her gaze around once and only felt that both the stage and the audience had fallen as silent as cicadas in winter. No matter how she looked at it, this did not seem like the atmosphere a show like The Flower Season and You should have.

She did not know whether it was her imagination, but she kept feeling as if many gazes were vaguely drifting toward her. But when she really lifted her eyes to look, each person either raised their head to stare at the sky or lowered their head to look at the stage—anything but looking in her direction. Bai Muxi hesitated inwardly, still not sure what to do. In any case, she first carefully and secretly glanced at the person beside her, who was still speaking.

She felt she had looked extremely discreetly. Who would have thought that Shen Zhong’s words would pause, and she would suddenly turn her head to meet Bai Muxi’s gaze? Her originally faint tone softened by more than half without warning, and even the final note of her words became light and gentle, as if she were afraid of startling Bai Muxi away.

“What is it?” she asked softly.

Caught red-handed while secretly looking again, Bai Muxi was so startled that she leaned back. She hurriedly waved her hands and gave an embarrassed smile.

“…No, nothing.”

See! This was what was abnormal! Why did Shen Zhong always catch her as soon as her peripheral vision swept over? This person had clearly been looking straight ahead without turning her eyes!

Reuniting with Shen Zhong onstage with no warning had truly thrown Bai Muxi into confusion. She still could not quite decide what sort of attitude she should use toward Shen Zhong now—unfamiliar colleague, or familiar friend? It could not possibly be the person she had failed to confess to, right?

But Shen Zhong did not seem to have this trouble. Judging from the fact that less than half an hour after the show started, she had openly displayed that face-changing scene three times as if no one else were present, she was clearly planning to treat them as familiar friends.

That made Bai Muxi’s feelings even more complicated. Seeing that Shen Zhong did not seem to quite believe her answer and still looked as if she wanted to ask her something, Bai Muxi was terrified that their private matters would be dragged out under the spotlight. She pretended to look toward the contestant onstage and said in a low voice:

“I was just casually looking around… Teacher Shen, please continue your comments.”

“…”

That cool gaze rested on her for a while before moving away. Then Shen Zhong’s voice sounded again. This time, however, it was much gentler, and within a few sentences, the topic circled back to her.

“—Your song choice was original? I saw in your profile that you said you really like Muxi?”

Bai Muxi was honestly a little worried that her heart could not withstand being tossed around again and again like this. When she heard that familiar way of addressing her, she reflexively wanted to turn her head, only to forcefully stop herself at once. She worked hard to place her attention on the contestant onstage, who was starting to blush with shyness, and cooperatively picked up the thread of the conversation. Her smile was bashful and delighted.

“Really? You like me? I think your singing is very nice too—”

Once the topic turned to singing, she became much more at ease. She could temporarily forget the series of foolish actions she had committed since getting onstage and focus only on asking the questions she wanted to ask. She went from “Your arrangement is very good. It already feels like a very mature work,” to “Your singing really is very nice. Have you ever considered joining the second season of For Whom I Sing?” making the whole venue laugh. The host laughed and said she was poaching talent, and Bai Muxi also narrowed her eyes with a smile. Amid the harmonious atmosphere, she belatedly realized that the person beside her had never once moved away that faint, drifting gaze.

She immediately grew nervous again. Her mind reacted: Shen Zhong had probably been looking at her the entire time. Bai Muxi felt guilty again. She really had no confidence that she could, like the nationally beloved actress Shen Zhong had done earlier, turn her head naturally and ask, “What is it?” So she could only stubbornly pretend not to notice. For a moment, she felt as if the right side of her face was hotter than the left, and even when the hair by her ear became slightly messy, she did not dare raise her hand to fix it.

Just as she was thinking she had to quickly get past this segment, the faint scent of cypress suddenly came closer. She shivered violently. Immediately afterward, she felt a cool touch gently brush across the curve of her ear. Startled, she instinctively raised her hand and caught the thing approaching her.

Shen Zhong, whose hand had been caught, seemed to freeze for a moment, but quickly recovered. Her brows softened and relaxed, and a faint smile curved at the corner of her lips. It was like winter snow melting away, blooming into the softest flower of spring, layer by layer, rippling all the way into the heart of Bai Muxi, who was even more flustered than the person whose hand she had caught.

“Your hair was messy. And your ear,” Shen Zhong said softly. “It was red.”

What an utterly useless ear.

Sitting on the sofa in the lounge, Bai Muxi angrily rubbed her ears several times as if holding a grudge against them. She truly wanted to burrow into the ground and disappear right this instant.

Her manager, who had watched the entire thing from below the stage, looked as if she wanted to say something but stopped herself. In the end, under Bai Muxi’s unusual low-pressure mood, she did not dare ask more and silently walked out of the lounge, leaving her space to rest alone.

Forget just her manager. Everyone in the entire venue was probably holding back their curiosity, wanting to find her and ask around. Bai Muxi thought miserably. Shen Zhong’s behavior today was too different from how she usually appeared onscreen—but no one dared go ask Shen Zhong about it. After all, that was Shen Zhong, famously unwilling to be involved in any gossip. Who would dare take the risk of teasing her?

By contrast, when Bai Muxi left the stage, each of them smiled at her with deep, meaningful expressions, as if she had not noticed.

The entertainment industry was not like the private interactions they had in the past. Every movement was magnified to the extreme under the spotlight. As an artist, one ought to tread on thin ice.

Bai Muxi sighed softly and heard a knock at the door. She looked at the time and saw it was about right. Thinking it was probably her manager coming to call her, she raised her voice to answer:

“Come in.”

As the sound of the door opening came, Bai Muxi rubbed her face to make herself pull together. She dug up some optimistic thoughts: No matter whether Shen Zhong had been happy because of reuniting with an old acquaintance or for some other reason, after resting for a while, she should have come back to her senses. Her manager and staff would surely remind her too. Presumably, the rest of the show would be better. Doing something like before, practically handing the production team a pen and inviting them to make a big deal out of it, was really too unlike Shen Zhong—

“Muxi.”

“…”

…Perhaps she had been thinking too much just now. She seemed to have heard the voice of someone who should not have appeared here.

Bai Muxi whipped her head around so hard that she nearly twisted her neck. Then she saw Shen Zhong.

She had appeared in Bai Muxi’s lounge without any warning. Her eyes as she looked over were deep yet clear, like a deer gazing quietly at the surface of water.

The scent of cypress was faint and clean, yet it seemed to possess a kind of aggressiveness.

“Let’s talk.”

Just like in the old days, Shen Zhong spoke simply, but her tone was gentle, leaving Bai Muxi unable to find even the slightest reason to refuse her.

“Okay?”

Author’s Note:

Let me mention this first, friends: it’s younger top. A cowardly 1 is still a 1.