Not Just Friends - Chapter 3

Bai Muxi did not speak.

Her brain had crashed too many times today. She genuinely failed to react, and only after standing there blankly for quite a while did she shakily shift her gaze away a little. Like she was asking for help, her eyes landed on Li Mingyu, who had followed Shen Zhong into the room.

Her manager looked at her, then looked at Shen Zhong, whose attention was fixed entirely on Bai Muxi. Her expression changed several times before she finally lowered her head apologetically toward Bai Muxi. It probably meant that she had tried to stop her, but had not succeeded.

…It was not completely impossible to understand. This was Shen Zhong, after all.

Bai Muxi had no idea why she was sympathizing with her at a time like this, and she grew angry at herself. Talking to Shen Zhong offstage seemed ten times harder than talking to her onstage. She pursed her lips and had to spend a great deal of effort before finally squeezing out a response.

“…Now? Here?”

As she spoke, she very deliberately looked toward Li Mingyu, hoping Shen Zhong would realize that neither the time nor the place was appropriate right now. So Shen Zhong also turned her head to look over with her. But before Shen Zhong could say anything, Li Mingyu blinked in sudden understanding and considerately started walking out—

“Wait, wait, wait—”

That was not what she meant!

Bai Muxi lunged forward and grabbed her. What kind of joke was this? Letting her and Shen Zhong be alone together at a time like this—did they still want her to record the rest of the show or not?

“It’s fine.” Shen Zhong spoke at just the right moment too, her voice cool and faint. “I mean, after today’s recording is over, if you don’t have anything else, could we have dinner together?”

Her voice was not loud, and her tone was unhurried, yet it gave her an especially strong presence. The atmosphere in the room inexplicably grew tense. Bai Muxi, the owner of the lounge, did not dare breathe too loudly. She pretended to think, but in truth, her heart had already started pounding like a drum. If the question was whether she had anything else, then she really did not. But if the question was whether she wanted to have dinner with Shen Zhong, then she truly had not fully prepared herself for—

“I just heard from your manager that you don’t have any other schedules tonight.”

Generally speaking, weren’t work arrangements not supposed to be told to other artists?!

Her escape route had been cut off by someone entirely unexpected. Bai Muxi widened her eyes and looked toward Li Mingyu. Her manager’s guilty gaze drifted around, and she secretly pressed her palms together, begging for forgiveness.

…Forget it. Thinking about it carefully, even if Li Mingyu had not said anything, if Shen Zhong had really asked, Bai Muxi herself probably would have answered honestly too.

She could not possibly lie to Shen Zhong just because she was afraid.

Bai Muxi closed her eyes. While she still had not had time to regret it, she steeled her heart and nodded. Even then, she still did not dare look at Shen Zhong, only answering softly.

“…I really don’t have anything.”

She did not know whether it was her imagination, but after she agreed, even the atmosphere in the room seemed to loosen. She noticed Shen Zhong’s shoulders relax slightly, and then Shen Zhong nodded.

“Then it’s settled.”

Bai Muxi nodded silently. Hearing the staff member outside the door tentatively calling for them, she knew it was really time now. Without any awareness that she was the guest here, Shen Zhong walked out first with her expression as normal as ever. Bai Muxi had no choice but to imitate the other woman’s expression control and put on a look as if nothing had happened, following her out. Her gaze drifted here and there, yet she still could not help letting it fall on the person in front of her.

When Shen Zhong had her back to Bai Muxi, Bai Muxi became a little braver. That carefully styled black hair was slightly curled as it fell over Shen Zhong’s shoulders. As she walked, it inexplicably stirred the heart, making Bai Muxi want to reach out and touch it.

But Bai Muxi was someone who knew how to read the room very well. From the lounge to the studio, staff members lined both sides of the way—where had so many people even come from? It was as if they had heard the news and come out to watch the fun. She quickly realized that walking out of the same room as Shen Zhong in broad daylight was far too conspicuous. Rumors would probably start spreading very soon.

How could that be allowed? Shen Zhong did not like strange rumors—of course, that was not to say Bai Muxi herself liked them!

Seeing that Shen Zhong did not seem to have noticed, Bai Muxi very cleverly and quietly slowed her steps. Pretending to be interested in a hidden camera nearby, she fiddled with it for a while and even chatted and laughed with the cameraman beside it for a few sentences. Patiently calculating that this amount of time should be enough to widen the distance between her and Shen Zhong, she finally decided with peace of mind to keep walking forward.

Who knew that as soon as she turned her head, she would crash into Shen Zhong’s gaze?

The tall, beautiful woman had stopped not far away and was quietly looking at her. Her eyes held fine, scattered light, and when she saw Bai Muxi look over, she revealed a faint, clear smile.

“Are you done? It’s not time yet.”

She was obviously waiting for her.

Shen Zhong had no intention at all of avoiding other people. Her voice was not loud, but it was enough for everyone present to hear clearly. Bai Muxi’s painstaking effort was easily shattered. Even though she could hear that Shen Zhong’s tone contained no displeasure—she had even asked very seriously—Bai Muxi did not dare delay any longer. She quickly walked to Shen Zhong’s side and answered softly, like she was admitting a mistake.

“…Mm. Let’s go.”

She was now deeply regretting her earlier innocence. What had she been thinking? “After Shen Zhong rests, she’ll realize this is improper and change her behavior”? Looking at the current trend, Shen Zhong was clearly only getting worse. Bai Muxi should have remembered long ago that this person was not someone who would be swayed by outside reactions. Just like now, with the staff around them smiling at the two of them in deep, meaningful ways, Bai Muxi was the only one thrown into a panic and stammering. The person who had originally been walking in front of her still wore a faint, calm expression, and at some point, she had silently fallen back to walk beside Bai Muxi.

Why were the people around them reacting so strongly? Bai Muxi thought. Wasn’t this a very common thing?

This was not a good sign. Even though they were currently in the narrow backstage area of a recording studio, this sort of scene still made it very easy for Bai Muxi to recall certain memories from the past. In those memories, she and Shen Zhong had both been younger than they were now. When they walked together, Bai Muxi was often drawn away by some novel thing. But whenever she came back to herself, Shen Zhong would always be standing quietly to one side waiting for her like this. She did not even play with her phone. She just smiled and watched her.

No matter how many times Bai Muxi saw that scene, it made her heart move.

Then, when she jogged back to Shen Zhong’s side, they would walk shoulder to shoulder. After that—

After that, she would go and hold Shen Zhong’s hand, twining her fingers around it as if pushing her luck, and then say with perfect confidence that as long as Shen Zhong held onto her properly, she would not get lost.

Bai Muxi pursed her lips and quietly hid her hands behind her back.

By the time the recording ended, Bai Muxi felt as if she had lost half her life. The long recording had exhausted her both physically and mentally. She stretched hard and heard her joints crack, but she knew very well that it was not yet time to rest.

“Then let’s go.”

Rather, the real battle had only just begun. Bai Muxi silently shifted her gaze a little away from the woman in front of her, pulled her mask higher, and nodded slightly.

She had told Li Mingyu in advance not to worry. Her manager did not ask anything out loud, but the light in her eyes, mixed with both concern and curiosity, could not be hidden no matter how she tried. In the end, she tactfully did not ask more and only explained a few things about what had happened in the lounge.

“Shen Zhong suddenly came over and asked me whether you were in the lounge. I originally wanted to stop her, so I said you’ve been very tired lately and were resting, so it was best not to disturb you. Then she asked, ‘Has she been very busy with work recently? After today’s show, does she still have work to do?’ I wasn’t paying attention and subconsciously denied it…”

“By the way, Shen Zhong should be the busier one. I remember hearing before that she was originally supposed to join a production soon. I have no idea where she squeezed out the time to suddenly come on this variety show… I feel like it doesn’t benefit her at all.”

It was more than just “not benefiting her at all.” Bai Muxi thought. Shen Zhong was an actress who cherished her reputation very much. She rarely appeared on variety shows to begin with, let alone this kind of highly entertainment-focused one. Besides, no matter how many years she had studied dance in the past, her actual profession now was still acting. Being a mentor would probably give people who disliked her an excuse to nitpick.

Then why had she come to participate in this variety show?

Bai Muxi did not dare indulge in self-flattering thoughts. She was currently sitting in Shen Zhong’s car, listlessly curled up in the passenger seat, while Shen Zhong drove steadily and smoothly. Many times along the way, Shen Zhong silently cast glances at her, but in the end, she did not say a word.

If it had been in the past, Bai Muxi would definitely have been the one between the two of them to open a topic first. But right now, her stomach was aching faintly. She did not know whether it was because she had been too nervous, or because she had had such a poor appetite today and had only taken a few casual bites of food. Either way, she was in no mood to start a conversation.

At first, she had felt panicked because of this unplanned meeting. Now, she finally calmed down a little and felt that this was fine too. She had known Shen Zhong since she was in her teens. Even when she had considered cutting off all contact with Shen Zhong for the rest of her life, she had still hesitated. It was not that she did not want to see Shen Zhong. She just… she just did not quite know how she should get along with Shen Zhong now.

Shen Zhong’s goodwill was obvious. In the second half of the recording, she was even less restrained than before. She could still accurately catch any tiny glance Bai Muxi cast toward her, look over intently while Bai Muxi gave comments as if no one else were present, and intentionally or unintentionally cue Bai Muxi whenever she spoke. When she said Bai Muxi’s name, she always naturally called her without her surname, and her tone was much softer and slower than when she spoke about anything else.

“Your singing is very nice. It should be the type Muxi would like—I mean your vocal tone.”

“Dancing to Nervous in front of the original singer must make you especially nervous, right? What does Muxi think?”

“I feel like Muxi’s name and mine are quite fated. If you split the character Zhong apart, it becomes ‘wood’ and ‘winter.’ And she just happens to be Muxi… Don’t you all think so?”

She said “you all,” but her gaze was clearly only on Bai Muxi.

The camera lenses and the audience’s eyes all shifted over in unison. Bai Muxi narrowed her eyes slightly under the overly bright lights. In such a situation, her mind actually wandered as she thought that, in the past, how could a joke about their names ever have been Shen Zhong’s turn to say first?

In the past, she had always been the one impatiently rushing to say it first.

Back then, she had been young, full of love and enthusiasm. It had not been enough for her to feel that they were well matched by herself. She had insisted on digging out every unreliable little detail from all sorts of corners and announcing them to the public. From star signs to their names, online compatibility results usually only said pleasant things and had no power as evidence at all, but she had still been happy just reading them. It was as if doing that could prove they were a match made in heaven, and that being together was only natural.

Bai Muxi had believed this wholeheartedly back then. Even after so much time, she could still clearly remember that night from years ago.

She had only just become an adult not long before that. She had accompanied Shen Zhong, who had just wrapped up filming with a production crew, for a small celebration. Shen Zhong was still only a young actress then, far from as famous as she was now. The two of them celebrated alone at Bai Muxi’s home. They bought red wine. Shen Zhong did not allow Bai Muxi to drink, and only after Bai Muxi pleaded for a long time did she manage to coax out a little bit—a thin layer at the bottom of a glass.

It was Bai Muxi’s first time drinking in her life. Perhaps she had borrowed courage from the wine. Thinking that Shen Zhong would soon graduate from university, and that there would only be fewer chances to see each other in the future, she suddenly became reckless enough to want to pluck down that moon.

Saying the five words “I really like you” was harder than she had imagined. Shen Zhong’s response also came slower than she had imagined. Bai Muxi prided herself on being best at reading Shen Zhong’s expressions, but at that time, all she read from her face was confusion and helplessness. In any case, there was none of the emotion Bai Muxi had originally wanted to see.

Shen Zhong said, If you mean as a friend, then I really like you too.

See? Facts proved that metaphysics were all lies.

Eighteen-year-old Bai Muxi had fled in a sorry state. Twenty-three-year-old Bai Muxi was still not calm enough, but at least she could maintain her dignity.

After going abroad, she had only met Shen Zhong once. That time, Shen Zhong had said very little and had looked like she wanted to speak but kept stopping herself. Yet Bai Muxi knew what she had not said. It was probably something like, Are we really unable to be friends anymore?

Fine. Bai Muxi thought, just as she had thought when she made up her mind before returning to the country.

Fine, then let’s be friends.

Author’s Note:

All right, after reading up to here, some friends might already be thinking things like, “She was already rejected, so why is she still eagerly moving closer?” and so on. Honestly, if this were happening to me, I would probably think something similar too. But the two of them are just like this. Bai Muxi is the kind of person who, unless there is truly no other choice, does not want to end up never speaking to Shen Zhong again for the rest of their lives. This story is built on that foundation. Friends who cannot accept that are advised to stop here.

Of course, this path definitely won’t work very well. After all, the title of this story is right there. Those of you who decide to keep reading can kindly watch over our Muxi and see when she crashes into the wall.