Chapter 6

After driving past the school road, the car’s speed opened up completely.

The bustling city gradually rose from the ground. Ten years ago, Ning City was still in the stage of development and construction, full of vitality everywhere.

Shi Xiu was moving forward, so of course she could not see Shang Jinyue’s loneliness.

The driver carried Shi Xiu into the familiar villa district, and her memories slowly became clear along with that villa that was neither fully Chinese nor fully Western.

There seemed to be no one home. Shi Xiu pushed open the door and entered the house. The entire place was cold and quiet.

In the living room, right by the entrance, there was a Chinese-style family portrait that had been the most fashionable back then. Shi Xiu stood behind her father. On the other side were her stepmother and younger stepsister.

That was right. Shi Xiu’s family was a blended family.

Her father and stepmother had each brought a daughter with them, and they had only gotten married at the beginning of this year.

Shi Xiu had come home early today, so the younger stepsister in eleventh grade at the same school as her had not returned yet.

Shi Xiu breathed a sigh of relief.

To be honest, she was not yet prepared to face off against those three people, so she decisively grabbed a cup of instant noodles and limped back to her room.

Steaming mist rose from the instant noodle bowl, and immediately afterward, it was covered by the math textbook Shi Xiu casually pulled over.

It had been a very long time since she had eaten this stuff. To be honest, she was actually craving it a little, especially since she had just added a packet of corn kernels, two slices of cheese, and three pieces of crab sticks.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Just as Shi Xiu stared at the clock, counting down the time, her phone vibrated.

On the incoming call screen floated an avatar with an extremely high concentration of anime energy, and the three characters “Feng Xinyang” jumped across the screen.

Shi Xiu had almost forgotten that Feng Xinyang used to be a chuuni girl.

Thinking that Feng Xinyang had also been someone she had thought about several times today, Shi Xiu held her instant noodles and answered Feng Xinyang’s video call. “Yo, how do you have time to call me today?”

“Don’t even mention it. I sneezed several times today, so much that I almost thought I had caught a cold.”

“Then I thought about it. Doesn’t everyone say sneezing Read on BaiLianTalesmeans someone is thinking about you? So I felt like it had to be our A-Xiu.”

“Tell me, were you thinking about me? Did your conscience finally wake up, and you realized you were worried about me going to the studio alone?”

Feng Xinyang was a chatterbox. The moment she saw Shi Xiu, she was like a talkative little box that could not be stopped.

Shi Xiu looked at this lively version of her and finally gained a little sense of reality that she had returned to seventeen.

She patiently listened from the other side like this, all the way until Feng Xinyang cut to the main point. “I heard about it. Today, in order to sit with me, you almost gave up on your sweetheart.”

“A-Xiu, I’m really moved. Really.”

Feng Xinyang’s acting came whenever she wanted it to, and she began wiping tears in front of Shi Xiu.

Only, this person thundered loudly without a drop of rain. Looking at the dry back of her hand, Shi Xiu said, “If you’re really moved, treat me to a meal when you come back.”

Feng Xinyang put her hands on her hips. “Shi Xiu, don’t go too far, okay? You still owe me a meal. I still remember how you abandoned me to go to the studio alone because of Shang Jinyue. Just wait until I get back and see how I settle accounts with you!”

“Then what if I say I don’t like Shang Jinyue anymore? From now on, I’m me, and Shang Jinyue is Shang Jinyue?”

Shi Xiu’s voice was faint, and the eyes lifted on the screen were filled with seriousness.

Feng Xinyang froze.

Then the eyes that had just been blazing with anger lit up with a whoosh, and her entire person jumped two meters high in place. “A-Xiu, are you joking with me? Did you lose a bet with someone? Or did you hit your head?”

“Girl, if you’re only doing this so I won’t beat you up, it really doesn’t have to go this far.”

“I’m serious.” Under Feng Xinyang’s string of question marks, Shi Xiu emphasized it even more seriously.

“But why?” Feng Xinyang tilted her head.

It was not overwhelming celebration, nor was it excitement that called for universal rejoicing.

Feng Xinyang’s confusion exceeded Shi Xiu’s expectations. Shi Xiu did not know whether the twenty-seven-year-old Feng Xinyang would ask her the same question too, or whether her reaction would be the same as her seventeen-year-old self’s.

But her friend seemed to have always understood her very well.

Shi Xiu looked at the old friend on the other side of the screen, whose appearance had not changed much over the years, and suddenly had so many things she wanted to say to her.

But when the words reached her lips, they seemed to become blocked again.

She had no way to tell the twenty-seven-year-old story of herself to the seventeen-year-old Feng Xinyang. Feng Xinyang would not understand.

But perhaps Feng Xinyang could understand too.

“There isn’t really a reason. I just feel that giving up the next ten years of my life for one person is a little not worth it.” Shi Xiu’s voice was low, carrying her emotions across to the other side of the screen.

In the second before Shi Xiu revealed what was in her heart, Feng Xinyang had already put on her earphones.

So Shi Xiu’s words, “Why can’t I be myself first?” exploded beside Feng Xinyang’s ear like fireworks.

“Dear heavens, you finally understand!”

Feng Xinyang’s eyes were full of excitement. The look she gave Shi Xiu carried no small amount of gratification that her love-brained friend had finally come to her senses.

“I’m not saying you can’t give anything up because you like Shang Jinyue. After all, you like her, and you’re willing.”

“But if you have to give up something you love for that, then anyway, I don’t think it’s worth it.”

“You’re so talented. Even the studio teachers keep saying it’s a pity you gave [read the original at bailiantales.com]up this path. I think the impact of that isn’t just ten years. It could be twenty years, thirty years, maybe even your whole life.”

…

“A-Xiu, do you still remember what my mom told us when you came to my house during summer break? You have to be yourself first before you can be someone else’s friend or lover.”

“I’ve always believed people are equal. You can’t become lower than someone just because you like them.”

Once Feng Xinyang opened her mouth, the words could not stop.

She spoke clearly and logically, and as Shi Xiu listened, her heart struck heavily against her body in time with the rhythm of Feng Xinyang’s speech.

That was right. People were equal.

Shang Jinyue’s one-sided silence and demands toward her could not be considered equality at all.

Why should she be the one guessing what Shang Jinyue was thinking?

Why did she have to compromise, give things up, and sacrifice herself every single time?

Shi Xiu had understood this truth far too late.

Fortunately, heaven had eyes and had turned everything back to a time when it could still be salvaged.

“Do me a favor.”

“Say it.”

Shi Xiu made a request to Feng Xinyang.

Feng Xinyang agreed without another word.

“Help me ask the studio whether they can still add another person now. I want to get the procedures done and return to the studio as soon as possible.” Shi Xiu was firm. “I still want to paint.”

For some reason, upon hearing Shi Xiu say this, Feng Xinyang actually felt a little like crying.

She looked at her friend on the screen and felt as if they had not been separated on the path of painting for ten days, but for ten years.

This inexplicable emotion made her heart ache and also made the promise she had just given even firmer. “Leave it to me. I’ll definitely get you in as a transfer!”

“A-Xiu, you have no idea how many times the color instructor brings you up every day. If he’s not saying your sense of color is good, then he’s saying your foundation is solid. A good seedling like you is someone every studio would fight over!”

Feng Xinyang patted her chest and guaranteed it to Shi Xiu, wishing she could drag Shi Xiu over to report in tomorrow.

Shi Xiu did not know whether there was any exaggeration in Feng Xinyang’s words, but after hearing this, her heart did feel a little steadier.

“But the studio’s schedule is very tight right now. I’ll send you the daily practice assignments, and you should practice at home too. Don’t come here only to end up unable to even beat me.”

Feng Xinyang did not let Shi Xiu be happy for long and immediately gave her a warning shot.

Shi Xiu nodded too, knowing how much effort she now had to put in again because of her childish abandonment back then.

The background on Feng Xinyang’s side was a little messy and looked like she was at the studio.

Shi Xiu placed her own clean hand together with Feng Xinyang’s paint-stained hand. Her calluses were still there, and her slightly deformed middle finger looked more beautiful than ever before.

That floating feeling from when Shi Xiu had pulled her suitcase out of the house was gradually stepped firmly into the ground, step by step, through her discussion with Feng Xinyang.

Shi Xiu held the hot instant noodles in front of her and felt that the life belonging to her had truly begun.

“Would you be happy for me?”

After finishing a cup of instant noodles, Shi Xiu raised her head blankly and looked at the moon outside the window.

After the call ended, the room suddenly became frighteningly quiet. The pitch-black night was melting into the glass, swallowing the person alone in the room.

At the same time Shi Xiu passionately embraced her brand-new life, the ten years that had not yet happened in this timeline had not disappeared.

There was no way to let go.

If she could simply forget just because she said so, would that not make the feelings she had for these ten years seem far too shallow?

Shi Xiu turned the glass on the table, listening to it make an ear-piercing sound.

Her own sneer was interspersed within it.

Serves you right.

The moon quietly watched the young girl by the window, watching the hand she used to hold the glass tremble uncontrollably.

Shi Xiu had removed the person originally engraved into her life, and the hollow in her heart needed ​Read on BaiLianTales​to be filled by something.

Withdrawal was far sharper than alcohol.

It sliced at Shi Xiu’s throat, replaying her past with Shang Jinyue over and over in her mind. Bed and bedding used the night as their backdrop, occupying the majority of her memories.

It was no longer an addictive taste.

It was bone-shattering and marrow-shaking, so painful it was unbearable.

But Shi Xiu was more stubborn than anyone else. She pressed down hard on this feeling, using blocking, using throwing away, deliberately refusing to let herself feel the pain.

Even her tears had nowhere to go. They were held inside her body, as if they were about to drown her.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.

Just then, the sound of another incoming video call rang out from Shi Xiu’s hand.

Shi Xiu subconsciously thought it was Feng Xinyang.

Right now, she desperately needed someone to distract her [unauthorized copy]attention. Her painful expression was pulled upside down into a smiling face, and on the other end of the screen, she was overflowing with enthusiasm. “I knew you missed me. Tell me, what’s up?”

“I only came to ask how your foot injury is.”

The instant Shi Xiu’s voice fell, a cool and quiet explanation came from the other side.

Shi Xiu froze, then fixed her gaze on the screen.

There, she saw Shang Jinyue’s signature cold face appearing on her phone, as if deliberately clarifying her opening words.

Tonight was exceptionally quiet, just like every night in the past when Shi Xiu had been home alone.

Shi Xiu never expected Shang Jinyue to take the initiative to call her.

Only, Shi Xiu also clearly knew that her pain belonged to her and had nothing to do with Shang Jinyue.

It would not become more intense because Shang Jinyue disappeared, nor would it ease because she existed.

Falling out of love was something deeply personal.

She no longer chose to love her.

So between them, it would be best if there was not even a single misunderstanding.

Shi Xiu’s eyes cooled. Toward the misunderstanding just now, she was not the slightest bit muddled or hesitant. “Don’t misunderstand. Those words weren’t meant for you.”

The wind before the window suddenly stilled, making Shi Xiu’s words seem especially distant.

The contrast between the warmth when the call had first connected and the coldness at this moment was enormous. It was hard for Shang Jinyue not to think about who Shi Xiu had mistaken her for, and she could not help testing, “Was it Feng Xinyang?”

Shi Xiu narrowed her eyes, her tone distant. “That’s my privacy.”