A Scummy Divorcee Alpha: Ex-Wife’s Top-Tier Soothing Agent - Chapter 18

Lou Xuehan spotted Chai Tingyan standing guard by the car from a distance and found it strange. She ditched her own vehicle and assistants, and despite her hair still being damp, she threw on a coat and swayed her way over.

“Why are you standing here?” Lou Xuehan asked with her usual air of authority. “Where is Du Wan? And who are these two?” She locked eyes with the two tall, burly men in suits and instinctively took a step back.

“Hired bodyguards?” Chai Tingyan sized her up and discreetly blocked the car door. “If you have business with Sister Du Wan, just tell me.”

“An 18th-tier artist needs bodyguards?” Lou Xuehan mocked. “Who are they supposed to be protecting her from?”

“They’re absolutely necessary!” Chai Tingyan’s momentum didn’t falter. “They’re here to protect her from people like you!”

Lou Xuehan, fuming, stomped her foot to leave. But she suddenly spun around, narrowing her eyes as if realizing something: “You’re in such a hurry to get rid of me—you must be hiding something!”

“You’re the one hiding something!” Assistant Chai wasn’t experienced enough; she nervously placed her hand on the door handle as the bodyguards closed in from both sides. It was a classic case of “the lady doth protest too much.”

“Is that so?”

Lou Xuehan smiled, her toe tapping the ground. Catching them off guard, she lunged forward and yanked the door open. The car appeared empty. She froze for a second, then leaned half her body into the cabin, searching for clues.

“Hey, what are you doing!” Chai Tingyan yanked at her from behind. “This is a violation of personal property rights! We’ll sue you!”

“Go ahead and sue,” Lou Xuehan sneered as she turned around. “When I caught her red-handed last year, why didn’t she sue then!?”

Assistant Chai: “!!!”

Well, great. Caught in the act.

“While I was away filming, she was flirting with my dog of an ex. Two Alphas talking so mushily… picking up my leftovers? Aren’t you afraid of getting diarrhea!”

Lou Xuehan grew angrier as she spoke, her nails digging into the leather seat back with a sharp screech.

Simultaneously, Du Wan, lying on the floor mat in the back, felt her brow twitch and sucked in a breath of cold air.

That playboy wasn’t me! I’m still single since birth!!!

Du Wan suffered in silence, her expression twisted in pain. She silently mouthed to the mermaid beneath her: Stop pinching me, it hurts like hell!!!

The “Scummy A” had gone to the trouble of getting professional forgeries and playing on the mermaid’s emotions to marry into the Zuo family. You were careless and didn’t do a background check before the wedding—is that my fault?

Zuo Yijia seemed to read her thoughts. She remained unfazed, her pretty face cold, as her hand roamed around Du Wan’s waist. Every time she found soft flesh, she gave it a hard pinch!

The sting shot straight to Du Wan’s brain. She saw stars and nearly bit her tongue to keep from crying out.

Didn’t you tell me to ‘touch you back’? Zuo Yijia’s lips curled into an innocent, subtle smirk.

I said touch! Did I say pinch!?

Du Wan frowned and glared, her eyes darting frantically as she engaged in a “friendly” non-verbal exchange with the mermaid.

When her eyes got tired, Du Wan grabbed the hand still wreaking havoc at her waist and tried to move it toward her chest.

You dare!!!

Zuo Yijia glared at her furiously, pulling in the opposite direction. Neither could overpower the other, and an invisible smoke of war began to spread through the cabin.

Outside, Lou Xuehan’s rage had peaked. “Is she hiding in the back?” She looked around, her gaze locking onto the blind spot of the rear seats. She started heading that way.

“Wait a minute!” Chai Tingyan followed close behind.

Gossip aside, Chai Tingyan knew her priorities. No matter what scummy things Du Wan had done in the past, as long as she was Du Wan’s assistant, it was her job to protect her.

The two women boarded the car one after the other. Chai Tingyan’s heart hammered like a drum, while Lou Xuehan’s smirk grew wider.

“What are you two arguing about?” Du Wan sat up from the seat, stretching and yawning with a face full of sleepiness. “Lou Xuehan, you couldn’t wait to see me the moment you finished your scene?”

“Sister Du Wan, you’re awake?” Assistant Chai finally got clever, playing along. “I told you, Sister Du Wan was sleeping. I told you not to come in and disturb her!”

“I…” Lou Xuehan turned her head in confusion. “Did you say that?”

Assistant Chai: “…”

“Lou Xuehan, I heard everything you said outside.” Du Wan shifted forward. Her right foot kicked something, her facial muscles tensing for an instant before she continued nonchalantly, “I apologize for the things I did in the past.”

“Apologize?” Lou Xuehan put her hands on her hips and laughed. “How much is an apology worth?”

“Stealing my dog of an ex was one thing, but you stole my endorsements, my clothes, and even Jiang Tian’s role!” Lou Xuehan’s face was flushed with agitation. “If you’re so capable, why don’t you apologize to all of them one by one!”

Du Wan: “!!!”

Wait, what was that about endorsements and clothes? Du Wan was a lower-tier star than her and they were on different career paths. If it weren’t for the romantic entanglement, they wouldn’t even be considered rivals. Why was Lou Xuehan being so unreasonable!?

“I can apologize for the other things,” Du Wan said without thinking. “But not for the lead role. If you’re really that unhappy, go talk to the higher-ups and have me replaced. Don’t use the excuse of seeking justice for others to settle a personal grudge.”

“I don’t want what shouldn’t be mine. But I won’t let go of what is.” Du Wan made a “please leave” gesture.

Lou Xuehan was speechless. She was in the same company as Jiang Tian, but their relationship wasn’t good enough to risk clashing with management. Her constant interference with Du Wan on set was just a way to vent her own spite.

“Then what do you want?” Lou Xuehan’s momentum weakened.

“To keep acting with you,” Du Wan said casually, leaning her head back on her hands. “If you don’t want to cooperate, we can both flop together.”

Lou Xuehan turned and got off the car. Du Wan’s level was higher than before—she could play the “white lotus,” the “green tea,” and had learned to be sarcastic. It practically worried Lou Xuehan to death.

As she walked away, Lou Xuehan looked back at her little assistant. “Did you see anything?”

“I didn’t see anything. Where?” The assistant looked around, then stared at her face. “Do you have dark circles under your eyes?”

Lou Xuehan hurriedly pulled out her makeup mirror. While fixing her hair, she said, “There were red marks on her neck. I have experience; those weren’t just any marks.”

“…” The assistant advised, “Let’s just ignore this. Let’s go back and sleep; we have to film in the middle of the night.”

“She’s definitely doing something shady!” Lou Xuehan snapped the mirror shut. “I will catch her red-handed!”

Shortly after Lou Xuehan left, the mermaid climbed up from the floor mat. She straightened her slightly messy hair and collar, then started clapping. “Wonderful. Simply wonderful.”

“Not as wonderful as the story between me and Boss Zuo.” Du Wan smiled and handed her her coat.

Zuo Yijia’s eyes were deep. She didn’t bite, acting as if everything that happened had nothing to do with her. However, before leaving, she pointedly asked for Lou Xuehan’s name.

“Is Boss Zuo going to stand up for me?” Du Wan felt a sudden impulse to pour out her grievances, even though she knew the fish in front of her wasn’t a good listener.

The mermaid held the car door, not looking back or leaving, appearing willing to hear what “nonsense” she would spout next.

“This is my first time as a lead.” Du Wan chose her words carefully. “Didn’t Boss Zuo think to ask how I’m doing? Emotional swings affect the quality of the glandular fluid, right?”

“Given our relationship, it is inappropriate to involve ourselves in useless topics.” Her silver-white hair was loosely tied, and her profile radiated a soft, elegant glow. “Besides, you’re vindictive; you aren’t the type to let yourself suffer.”

“Even if you are suffering, keep it to yourself,” Zuo Yijia said, turning her head as if to warn her. “I don’t need a useless person.”

“Boss Zuo, since that’s the case—” Du Wan walked over and pressed against her arm, smiling heartlessly. “Why don’t you just remove this gland? It would save a lot of trouble, and you wouldn’t have to look at my face anymore.”

“No.” Zuo Yijia gripped her jaw again, forcing her to look up.

The mermaid looked down at her arrogantly, her gaze tracing Du Wan’s features as if peeling back the layers of an onion to see into her burning heart. “I will remember this face forever.” Always reminding myself never to forget the wounds and the hate.

Du Wan felt a sudden jolt of electricity run through her body, leaving half of her numb.

This world has mermaids, and mermaids can discharge electricity.

Du Wan’s competitive spirit flared. she whispered in the mermaid’s ear: “Boss Zuo, be there or be square tomorrow.”

As her hot breath fanned out, the tips of the mermaid’s ears turned a vivid, deep red, like a flower in full, final bloom.

Lou Xuehan, of course, wasn’t going to stop clashing with Du Wan just because of one conversation.

In the next afternoon’s scene, “Gu Yuan” (Lou Xuehan) successfully applied for a job at the company where “Ouyang Chang” (Du Wan) worked. Ouyang Chang, out of selfishness, assigned her as the CEO’s assistant, and the two began a blatant office romance.

The night before, Ouyang had over-drank at a social event, triggering a stomach ache—yes, the number one illness on the “CEO Must-Have Disease Rankings.” In the massive corporate building, only the little assistant was there to offer warm care when the CEO’s illness flared, and the CEO fell deeply in love with her.

Du Wan: “…”

Du Wan closed the script, massaged her forehead, and looked at the sky with a 45-degree melancholy gaze before looking at the busy director.

Impressive. Truly a talent. If they can film this, is there anything they can’t film!?

When it came to the actual shoot, Lou Xuehan demanded to add to the scene. Originally, Ouyang Chang just had to drink a bowl of medicine. Lou Xuehan insisted Du Wan perform a stomach-ache-induced retch, with medicine leaking from the corner of her lips. Gu Yuan, showing no disgust, would then carefully wipe Ouyang Chang’s face with a handkerchief and feed her again.

This was to be repeated twice to establish Gu Yuan’s “tender and caring” persona. The director thought it was a great idea—it added drama to the medicine-taking and padded the runtime.

Du Wan: “…” CEO has a stomach ache, not a stroke.

The thought of drinking two giant bowls of medicine was unimaginable.

“Director, then I want to change the plot too,” Du Wan said, raising her hand. “Have Gu Yuan trip while bringing the medicine. Ouyang Chang, despite her illness, performs a ‘heroic rescue,’ catching Gu Yuan by the waist and spinning three and a half times in the air. When the drama airs, we buy a trending search topic—it’ll definitely go viral.”

The director pondered, touching his headset. “That actually sounds pretty good!”

Beside them, the on-set screenwriter’s face turned ashen with despair.

Lou Xuehan shrieked, “In your dreams! You want to hold your ‘Auntie’s’ waist!?”

“I’ll wear disposable gloves,” Du Wan said, full of bad ideas. “Isn’t that ‘no-contact’ then?”

Lou Xuehan’s nose nearly twisted with rage. “Still no! Who knows if you’re trying to feel me up!!!”

“Can’t an actor sacrifice themselves for the sake of the craft?” Du Wan used moral kidnapping. “Isn’t it expected?”

“Then why don’t you drink the medicine?” Lou Xuehan countered. “You sacrifice yourself too!”

Du Wan shrugged shamelessly. “I have a stomach ulcer. Drinking too much at once makes me cough up blood.”

Lou Xuehan: “…”

As the scene teetered toward chaos—

“Enough!” the director yelled into the intercom. “Are you the directors, or am I!? Everyone, follow my lead!”

Lou Xuehan reluctantly lowered her hand.

“I Like You Too, Scene 13, Shot 5, Take 3. Action!”

The two took their positions. Ouyang Chang reclined on the sofa, clutching her stomach, a faint smile on her face as she watched Gu Yuan approach with the medicine.

“President Ouyang, drink the medicine. It won’t hurt once you do.” Gu Yuan placed the cup by her hand, her eyes clear and bright, devoid of any ulterior motives.

A ripple of emotion stirred in Ouyang Chang’s heart. She half-closed her eyes, feigning weakness: “It hurts too much to sit up. Could you please feed me?”

“How about I help you up first?” Gu Yuan initially resisted, but seeing the CEO’s furrowed brow and pained expression, she softened.

“Ah—” Gu Yuan sat beside her, scooping a spoonful of medicine to feed her.

Du Wan lay there as if paralyzed, but she was secretly peeking through a slit in her eyes. Lou Xuehan had a malicious grin; she didn’t want to feed her at all—she was clearly going to spill the spoon on Du Wan’s clothes.

Full of holes. Naive. Ridiculous.

Recalling Boss Zuo’s words, Du Wan decided to strike first. Ouyang Chang lifted a hand as if to stroke Gu Yuan’s hair. Lou Xuehan froze—they hadn’t discussed this!

She couldn’t ask in the middle of a take, so she had to grit her teeth and continue. She couldn’t feed the spoon for a moment, her smile nearly frozen, when she felt Du Wan wipe something from her eyelid.

Du Wan opened her hand to show her: “Your eyelid tape came off.”

“AAAAAGH—!” Lou Xuehan stood dazed for a few seconds before jumping up and screaming, “I’m going to kill you!!!”

“It’s fine, it’s fine…” The director threw off his headphones for the nth time. While soothing the actress, he yelled behind him, “Where’s the makeup artist! Get over here and fix her makeup!”

Du Wan flopped into the car. Zuo Yijia closed the foreign newspaper she was reading and looked up. “Late today?”

“Don’t even mention it.” Du Wan waved her off and took several large gulps of water. “Lou Xuehan kept adding to the scene. Her acting is worse than mine, but she has so many demands. She forced us to film for two extra hours.”

Zuo Yijia was silent for a moment. “The weather is getting cold.”

Secretary Liang, who had come along today, felt the warning bells ring and shouted: “Don’t do it, President Zuo! Arbitrarily bankrupting a company will crash the market, and the Group will be held responsible! You can’t—”

“I think you just don’t have enough work to do,” Zuo Yijia said, massaging her temple. She snapped, “I told you to turn up the heater!”

Du Wan: “…”

Secretary Liang clutched his heart, letting out a sigh. He felt he had sacrificed too much for this career.

Zuo Yijia waved a hand. “Fine, let’s go.”

Du Wan looked out at the trees rushing past the window and turned her head in surprise. “It’s just extracting fluid—where are we going?”

“I booked a hotel nearby. For the duration of your filming, we’ll stay there.” Zuo Yijia turned and gave a slight smile. “To prevent a repeat of yesterday’s situation, and to prevent ‘unrelated persons’ from interfering with us.”

“Wait, wait—” Du Wan looked back and forth between the two of them, her mind inevitably drifting to the gutter. “Boss Zuo, don’t you think this is a bit…”

Zuo Yijia looked at her. “Stop beating around the bush.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit…” Du Wan gestured with her hands, her smile rising and falling several times. Finally, she laughed and said meaningfully, “A bit too intimate?”