After Transmigrating as a Beta, I Got Messed Up with an Alpha (BL) - Chapter 33

Huo Juan had once thought about how he should answer this question if Pei Yule ever asked it.

He knew that with his frequent losses of control in front of this person, suspicion was inevitable, but having the question posed so soon was still beyond his expectations.

He had not yet captured this person; nothing had stabilized.

Should he lay everything bare and let the boy feel fear… or continue to hide it and erase his doubts?

Huo Juan’s eyes flickered slightly. He reached out and gently touched Pei Yule’s face.

“Do you… really want to know?”

His voice was low and slow—a question that felt like it was saying, “I’m giving you a chance to regret this; once you truly know, there is no going back.”

Once Pei Yule made up his mind, he usually didn’t change it. Although he sensed Huo Juan was offering him an “out,” he wasn’t the type of person who could bottle things up. Since he had already begun to suspect, he naturally had to get to the bottom of it. Otherwise, it would occupy his thoughts all day.

Pei Yule nodded. “Yes.” He wanted to know.

Huo Juan withdrew his hand, his voice flat. “This isn’t the place for a talk.”

Pei Yule looked around the space under the stairs and agreed completely. He followed Huo Juan to the empty classroom.

It had been a while since he’d been here, yet upon entering, the crisp, lung-penetrating scent of cold cypress was gone. Ever since Huo Juan started using blocking agents, Pei Yule hadn’t experienced that feeling of limp limbs caused by the fragrance. Because of this, he felt comfortable and at ease.

Transmigrating as a Beta made him just like the “ordinary people” he knew from his old world, but every time he was suppressed by Alpha pheromones, that unpleasant experience served as a blunt reminder that Betas aren’t exactly “ordinary” either. The premise of being “ordinary” only held as long as one didn’t encounter someone else’s pheromones.

After becoming a Beta, while he didn’t have Heats or Ruts, he still had to submit to the rules of this world, unable to resist the dominance of powerful pheromones. Up until now, Pei Yule’s attitude of acceptance had been good, but it wasn’t that he didn’t feel frustrated. He just tried not to think about it and didn’t let himself dwell on it.

Later, Huo Juan’s use of blocking agents made that frustration fade, and the sense of disparity between the three genders became less depressing. But thinking that this comfort came at the cost of Huo Juan using potentially “banned” blocking agents because of him made him feel uneasy. He felt things shouldn’t be this way.

He disliked the settings of this world, but he didn’t want the world to change just for him. Similarly, he didn’t want Huo Juan to force himself for his sake. He wasn’t that thick-skinned.

Pei Yule looked at Huo Juan. Right now, the tall Alpha only looked like an Alpha in terms of his build and physique. Because there wasn’t a trace of pheromone scent on him, he felt like a Beta. From the first day he noticed Huo Juan using the blocking agent, a sense of dissonance had lingered in Pei Yule’s heart. This man shouldn’t be scentless.

Huo Juan had always given him the impression of being the strongest. He was the person who, before Pei Yule even understood the ABO settings, had told him what an Alpha was in the most overbearing way possible. Now that he couldn’t smell the pheromones, Pei Yule actually felt a bit unadjusted.

It shouldn’t be like this. After all, it was only on Betas that he couldn’t smell any pheromones.

This was because Betas have no scent, but it also meant that whether it was the hardness of an Alpha or the sweetness of an Omega, he could smell it clearly if he got close. For example, when he was close to Xu Yanxi just now, he could smell the Alpha’s specific scent. Likely because Xu Yanxi consciously restrained thoughts of control or dominance, Pei Yule hadn’t felt his limbs go weak.

Come to think of it, he had been close to other Alphas. Shen Pin and Fei Yisa were close friends, and the three of them often ate together. While he could smell the pheromones on Shen Pin, he never felt any physical discomfort. Shen Pin’s scent felt like the crisp, cold air of a snowfall that cleared the mind. Even other Alphas in the class were easy to get along with—just ordinary high schoolers—as long as they weren’t projecting thoughts of “control” or “submission.”

Only Huo Juan was different. From the moment they were alone, his pheromones had completely enveloped Pei Yule. Whether intentional or not, they always made his limbs weak and his breathing difficult.

I want to control him.

I want him to submit to me.

I want to make him unable to struggle, trapped beneath me.

Pheromones realized these unspeakable, greedy desires faster than conscious thought. This was why whenever Pei Yule smelled Huo Juan’s scent, he was severely affected. Pheromones do not lie. To want someone, to want to dominate someone, to want to plunder, control, and imprison them… that is an Alpha’s innate, bone-deep possessiveness and desire for control.

And now, this Alpha intended to tear open the greed hidden in his heart, exposing a portion of it so the reckless Beta would know… that for some things, it was better not to know. Since the boy insisted on breaking open Pandora’s box, whatever came out… he would just have to endure.

Huo Juan sat down on the sofa in the empty room. He placed one hand on the seat beside him, stroking it lightly, then raised his eyes to signal Pei Yule. “Come here.”

Pei Yule didn’t overthink it. He walked over and sat where Huo Juan indicated. He waited patiently for their open conversation, for Huo Juan to confess. However, after he sat down, the Alpha beside him reached out and gently took hold of his fingers.

“What…?”

Confused, Pei Yule instinctively tried to pull away, but Huo Juan opened his fingers one by one. Then, the Alpha’s fingers slowly slid into the gaps between his own. While it wasn’t a tight clasp yet, the sensation of them sliding between his fingers was very distinct, making Pei Yule’s scalp prickle.

“Huo Juan?” he asked, puzzled. Why grab his hand instead of talking?

Pei Yule tried to pull away twice. When he couldn’t, he gave up. It was a side effect of their dynamic before the “Three Rules”—if Huo Juan became even slightly forceful, Pei Yule would stop resisting once he saw it was futile. It felt like a waste of energy to struggle.

He didn’t realize that this unconscious yielding on his part made it very easy for someone to push for more. It had been like this before; because he stopped caring once he couldn’t break free, it led to a certain Alpha’s appetite growing larger and harder to satisfy.

Huo Juan didn’t look up, appearing to think of how to phrase things. After a while, he spoke slowly. “My pheromone disorder… it started before I was seven. That was when I first differentiated as an Alpha.”

Huo Juan’s differentiation had been earlier than his peers. Differentiating too early or too late can affect the body. For Huo Juan, it was accompanied by unstable pheromone disorder. This was actually normal; the more powerful the genes of an Alpha or Omega, the more likely there would be complications during differentiation. However, for most, the symptoms would vanish as the pheromones matured.

At first, the disorder only caused faint, vague pains. It wasn’t obvious, but it was persistent. Like a shadow, it couldn’t be shaken off. He’d had thorough check-ups countless times, but no physical abnormalities were found. Because the pain wasn’t intense, the Huo family assumed it was a result of powerful genes causing the disorder and decided to wait for him to stabilize. Once his pheromones matured, the disorder was expected to disappear.

However, as Huo Juan’s pheromones matured, the disorder didn’t improve at all. Instead, as he grew, the faint pricking pain turned into an unbearable ache deep in his bones.

Huo Juan had a stoic personality. He had endured that constant, grinding pain since childhood without a word, and it was the same as he grew older. After trying various methods that provided no relief, the symptoms only intensified. While he found it troublesome, after so many years, he simply got used to the pain and bore it.

Fortunately, he was resilient. It was only natural that one had to pay a price for powerful pheromones. Because it had been with him for so many years, the pain had become a habit. Before he’d tasted the comfort of it subsiding, he assumed he’d just live with the pain for the rest of his life.

Then he met Pei Yule. A person more effective than any medicine.

“…And just like that, starting from the place I touch, the pain deep in my bones begins to vanish,” the Alpha’s voice wasn’t loud, but it was clear. “Like drinking an ice-cold drink in the scorching heat, or being surrounded by warmth in the freezing cold. That’s what it’s like.”

“Ten years of pain, vanishing through a touch. At first, I couldn’t understand it, and I couldn’t believe such a thing was possible.” At that time, they were strangers. How could he explain something to Pei Yule that he himself found surreal? So, he ignored Pei Yule’s protests and used his Alpha instincts to force him here for testing until the boy truly couldn’t take it anymore and expressed his refusal.

He did bad things, but he got the answer he wanted. The facts proved it was the same every time: contact with Pei Yule really could calm him down.

The medicine for a decade of pain was right in front of him. Asking him to let go… he wasn’t that noble. Alphas are naturally sovereign, not gentle. To plunder and make things their own is their instinct.

“You’re a Beta. You have no pheromones, and there’s no Omega soothing scent, but the fact is that touching you calms me down. It’s more effective than any drug.”

Pei Yule’s mouth moved as if to speak, but he didn’t interrupt. He had a feeling Huo Juan was about to get to the point.

Huo Juan squeezed Pei Yule’s fingers lightly, then slowly let go, withdrawing his hand and holding it out in front of him. “And once the contact stops, the pain gradually returns.”

Pei Yule looked at Huo Juan’s hand. The fingers were long, the knuckles distinct, and the nails clean—it was a hand that could be a hand model’s. If Huo Juan hadn’t said so, it would be impossible to imagine that such a beautiful hand was constantly tormented by pain, with no peace for ten years.

And it wasn’t just the hand. Just imagining it made Pei Yule feel overwhelmed. He was often sick as a child, and the body-aching exhaustion of a severe cold made life feel unbearable. You couldn’t sleep, you couldn’t stay awake; you just wanted to saw off the aching parts to feel comfortable. And the Alpha before him had been tormented by that bone-deep pain for ten years.

He now understood the true meaning of the “contact therapy” Huo Juan had confessed to. After ten years of pain, anyone would cling to a “medicine” that worked through a simple touch.

But there were still things he didn’t understand. Was he willing to take banned drugs and continue contact for that? Wasn’t the sacrifice too great? That drug could potentially prevent his pheromones from ever recovering!

However, Huo Juan’s next words quickly overturned Pei Yule’s theory.

“If it were just the return of the original pain, it wouldn’t matter.” But on the day of his Rut, the pain was amplified. His patience thinning, he went to find Pei Yule to calm down, but after the contact, the pain doubled, accompanied by an indescribable, deep craving.

“On the day of the Rut, after touching you, the pain intensified. After that, I lost control. You know the rest.”

He had been a part of it. This person had felt his unbearable impulses at close range and nearly came to harm.

Pei Yule blinked, not immediately understanding what Huo Juan meant. …After contact, the pain intensified? That meant the “contact therapy”—which provided only a moment of calm—actually had no effect, or even worsened his condition? Pei Yule couldn’t imagine what intensified pain felt like. In that case, wouldn’t it be better if they didn’t touch at all?

“At first, I thought it was due to the instability of the Rut pheromones. However, that time at my house, I lost control for a second time.”

Seeing Pei Yule’s shock and hesitation, Huo Juan continued. “Then, I realized.” He locked eyes with Pei Yule, saying slowly, word by word: “Contact with you, every single time… makes me lose control.”

The Alpha’s gaze was deep and difficult to read, giving Pei Yule the illusion of being trapped by those dark eyes. His heart shuddered, but he saw Huo Juan had already withdrawn his gaze and lowered his eyelids.

“So, I have no choice but to use blocking agents, and I have no choice but to use suppressants.”

As long as the medicine worked, he would take any kind. The side effects weren’t in his consideration. Compared to that, there were more important things to care about.

After all, if he didn’t do this… he didn’t even know what he might do to Pei Yule.