I Heard I’m the Scumbag Alpha of a Top-Tier Leading Actress? - Chapter 13

All of her inferiority, cowardice, and willingness to compromise herself came from me.

On the way home from work, that sentence echoed again and again through Gu Xin’s mind.

Sometimes it was in Ying Lu’s careless, frivolous tone, but more often, it sounded as if Gu Xin herself were the one saying it.

Every step Gu Xin took, that sentence circled once above her thoughts. She clearly possessed reason far beyond ordinary people, yet no one had told her how to face a life reduced to wreckage while she herself was out of control.

Night had grown deep. The carnival that belonged to the night market had also come to an end, leaving behind a faint, crazed aftertaste for lonely people to savor in sobriety.

Gu Xin did not go home. She could not tell whether she was crazed or clear-headed, or whether she was neither. She was simply very lonely, so at this moment, all she wanted was to keep walking outward.

The night wind rustled coldly. There were only a few scattered drunkards on the road. Gu Xin expressionlessly avoided someone stumbling toward her and thought of what many people had said.

Her senior brother had said, “You used to be a genius everyone envied, but after you married Yan Shuangshuang, everything changed.”

Her junior sister had said, “I originally thought you would be the greatest rival on my research path. Who would’ve thought you’d willingly degenerate and even become a kept Alpha? What a pity.”

The professor had said, “More than once, I wondered whether it was wrong of me to let Shuangshuang try to heal you. But thinking that way is unfair to Shuangshuang too. She gave everything she could to rebuild you, but in the end, the one who destroyed both you and her was you yourself.”

Gu Xin had no memories of those spirited, brilliant years. From the moment she opened her eyes, all she had faced was everything shattered into pieces.

At five, she had revealed an intelligence far beyond ordinary people. At thirteen, she had been admitted into W University’s youth class. At sixteen, she had graduated and entered the research institute, becoming a core member of a project. From then on, she had always been a precious talent to the nation. There had been no problem she could not overcome.

A life like that was glorious, dazzling, and smooth all the way forward.

But Gu Xin had no real sense of it at all. She only felt that everything sounded like it belonged to someone else.

At the time, her senior brother had sighed with regret while eating.

At twenty, Gu Xin’s life had taken a sharp turn downward.

Her senior brother had heard that Gu Xin’s two mothers and older brother had unfortunately encountered a maritime disaster, and all three had died on the spot. From then on, Gu Xin never came to the research institute again, and her original project was also shelved.

The institute immediately approved leave for Gu Xin and gave her some consolation money. Later, from time to time, they could also hear that Gu Xin was providing off-site assistance, helping others at the institute solve problems. Because of that, her senior brother had always thought that Gu Xin had only temporarily left science. In the end, she would still come back, back to the world that belonged to her.

But two years later, Gu Xin, at twenty-two, suddenly announced that she was going to marry Yan Shuangshuang. Her senior brother thought Gu Xin had already walked out from the haze of losing her loved ones and was preparing to embrace a new life, so he happily sent a congratulatory gift.

Yet after the wedding, Gu Xin suddenly had a huge fight with the professor and the leaders of the research institute, and they parted unhappily. The final result was that the research institute directly removed Gu Xin’s name and added her to a confidential information list. If Gu Xin leaked any secrets, she would be arrested immediately.

After that…

Her thoughts were abruptly cut off. It turned out Gu Xin had already walked to the seaside.

The sea in this season was very gentle. The black ocean was mysterious and vast, and a huge moon hung suspended in midair. From the seawall, she could see the surface of the sea reflecting shimmering moonlight. In her eyes, it looked like pieces of broken cloud, and when the wind blew, it became little fish of silver light swimming one after another, majestic and dreamlike.

Gu Xin sat down by the shore and only felt that the sea was truly too large, so large that she could not see its limits.

If she threw herself into the bottom of the sea, the ocean would embrace her the same way it embraced this moonlight. At that time, she too would gaze at the confused people on shore like the moon above the sea.

Human beings spent their whole lives running toward death. Perhaps after leaving this world, she would be broken down into atoms and protons, then reassembled again. When that time came, cosmic dust would be her, and the brilliant river of stars would also be her. She would become countless things, and after completing the task of gathering and parting, leaving and reunion, she would rush toward another grand and stirring life, falling in love with another grand and stirring person—if there was still one.

But Yan Shuangshuang would not let her do that.

A brief fragment naturally surfaced in her mind.

She walked into the sea step by step. When the water swallowed the top of her head, Gu Xin did not feel afraid. She even felt peaceful. Seawater flooded her ears, and all sound became distant. Calmly, she closed her eyes and waited to enter Death’s embrace, to go to the country where her mothers and brother were.

But before she could fall completely, a hand caught her.

This hand was faster than Death. It was very slender, and also very pitiful, trembling from the icy seawater, yet it held Gu Xin tightly. With all its strength, it dragged Gu Xin out of the water.

After the seawater seeped into Gu Xin’s eyes, they stung so badly she could almost not open them.

But in the blur, she saw Yan Shuangshuang’s trembling body, and lips pressed so tightly they had turned pale and purple.

“You think you can get rid of me like this? Dream on.”

“Gu Xin, if I live, you live. If I die, you die.”

On Wednesday, Gu Xin received several emails in her inbox. The others were all rejections, but the remaining two said they needed to invite her for another interview before they could confirm whether Gu Xin was suitable.

Until the final step, it did not count as success. Besides, compared with the previous in-person rejections, this was already very good.

Gu Xin’s mood was very calm. After replying, she tied up her hair, tossed her phone onto the bed, and went to the kitchen to fry herself an egg.

Although it was still burnt, it was much better than before, when it had been completely inedible.

After forcing down her hard-to-swallow breakfast and washing the dishes as quickly as possible, Gu Xin sat down in front of her computer, took a deep breath, and began reading today’s papers.

English was as fluent to her as her mother tongue. Gu Xin had no reading obstacles at all and skimmed ten lines at a glance, occasionally writing and sketching on scratch paper. Time passed second by second, until a ding-dong sounded.

The alarm rang.

Gu Xin immediately pulled herself out of the paper, retrieved the phone buried beneath the blanket, and called a number right on time.

The dial tone rang for nearly forty seconds, but Gu Xin was not anxious at all. Only when it was about to hang up automatically did the other side finally connect, and a blurry “Hello?” came through.

Gu Xin said, “Director Ying, did you read the email I sent you last time?”

Ying Lu’s impatient voice came through. “That PDF with over a hundred pages? Are you insane? How would I have time to read that?”

“You said last time that you would read it, and that I should contact you at eleven this morning.” Gu Xin was very persistent. She continued, “If you haven’t read it, then I’ll summarize it briefly. The file contains hard evidence that certain marketing accounts and whistleblowers took money to act as paid trolls and fabricate false dirt. It involves many directors and celebrities. Most importantly, someone wants to interfere with your company, Director Ying. They’ve already bought off the media, and next Monday, they’ll release a wave of news. Some of it involves your private affairs.”

Before Ying Lu had left the bar last time, she had stuffed Gu Xin a flirtatious little note and said Gu Xin could contact her anytime.

After Gu Xin really added Ying Lu on WeChat, the two of them actually had no further interactions. Ying Lu was busy preparing for filming, and Gu Xin was busy with interviews. It was not until Gu Xin discovered that the marketing account company that had previously thrown dirt on Yan Shuangshuang had made new moves again—this time even involving Ying Lu—that she organized everything into a PDF and sent it to Ying Lu’s email.

Ying Lu finally became a little more awake. She quickly skimmed through it and cursed, “Fuck.”

“The people Xiao Shuang offended really are impressive.” Ying Lu took a drag of her cigarette, her tone sinister. “But if they want to go after me, they’re still too green.”

Ying Lu calmed down and said, “Xiao Shuang’s ex-wife, thank you for the information. Leave the rest to me.”

Gu Xin said, “It’s fine. I’ve already sent evidence of their tax evasion and improper transactions to the judicial authorities. I’m still collecting more, but this wave of news probably won’t be released. Because by my calculations, the police comrades should already be on their way.”

“…666.”

“One more thing.” Gu Xin gently furrowed her brows and said seriously, “Although it is true that I’m her ex-wife, I think I’ve now returned to the starting line as a friend Shuangshuang doesn’t really want to see. Next time, I’d trouble you to call me by my name directly, Director Ying.”

“…”