I Heard I’m the Scumbag Alpha of a Top-Tier Leading Actress? - Chapter 9

Ever since Yan Shuangshuang found out that Gu Xin had gone to the capital, her mood had not been good.

She had only just come out of her mother’s apartment. Facing a woman who was equally cool in temperament and keenly perceptive, Yan Shuangshuang’s acting skills had failed to fool her.

In almost just a few words, Yan Chuxiang had drawn out Yan Shuangshuang’s true current situation.

She still remembered the beautiful, ice-cold lady taking a dignified sip of tea, then sharply pointing out that Yan Shuangshuang was merely wasting time. Their marriage had already entered an abnormal stage. If Yan Shuangshuang did not want the rest of her life ruined, it would be best to cut her losses in time.

Yan Shuangshuang had said, “I’m already preparing to divorce her.”

Yan Chuxiang had taken another indifferent sip of tea. “Preparing is future tense. You can’t bear to do it, which is why there’s still a ‘preparing.’”

Yan Shuangshuang smiled bitterly. “Mom, don’t expose me.”

“Has the divorce agreement been signed?”

“It’s signed.”

“When are you going to handle it?”

“She said Monday.”

Yan Chuxiang frowned. “As soon as possible. If this drags on, I’m afraid you’ll go back on it.”

Yan Shuangshuang had been feeling gloomy, yet she was actually amused by her mother’s words. “Once I’ve decided on something, I’ve never gone back on it.”

This time, it was Yan Chuxiang’s turn to laugh. With an expression that was almost a smile yet not quite, she set down her teacup. “When it comes to Gu Xin, nothing you say has ever counted.”

Yan Shuangshuang choked. She had to admit her mother was right.

Recalling up to this point, Yan Shuangshuang raised her hand and looked at the message on her phone screen again and again.

Unlike Gu Xin’s side, Yan Shuangshuang had kept her chat history with Gu Xin completely intact.

When they had loved each other most, there had actually been fewer WeChat messages. Gu Xin had been impatient by nature and had always been unable to wait to see her. She was either asking where Yan Shuangshuang was or setting up what time to meet, practically unable to be apart from her for even a moment. Back then, Yan Shuangshuang’s roommates had jokingly called them the campus lovebirds, sticky and inseparable to an outrageous degree. And that had also been Yan Shuangshuang’s happiest time.

Their chat history was at its longest right after they got married. Gu Xin seemed to have suddenly unlocked the skill of sweet-talking and often said all kinds of cheesy things. Yan Shuangshuang was not very used to it, but she still tried hard to adapt. It was also from that point onward that Gu Xin began spending money extravagantly. Back then, Yan Shuangshuang was often coaxed until she lost all sense of direction. Later, after graduation, Yan Shuangshuang fought and struggled her way through the entertainment industry and finally shot to fame overnight. It was also from that time onward that Gu Xin began to openly degenerate.

Even now, Yan Shuangshuang still did not understand why a person could change so much after stepping into marriage.

Clearly, they had made it through the most difficult days together. Yet the person who had held her hand in the dimness and said they would never separate had been the first to leave, leaving her alone to wander inside their vows.

Yan Shuangshuang hesitated for a while. Out of a certain softness of heart that even she herself was unwilling to admit, she still made a call.

Until the dial tone rang and rang, no one answered.

Yan Shuangshuang furrowed her brows, a layer of coldness appearing on her face.

When Gu Xin woke the next morning, a fine rain was falling outside, covering the whole world in a layer of hazy mist.

Unlike the general tone of the Qingming Festival itself, this rain was not sticky and clinging. When it fell, it pattered continuously, but was unexpectedly crisp and refreshing. It was as if passersby could shake out their clothes and shake away some sorrow and pain with them before stepping forward again.

When Gu Xin got up in the morning, she finally saw Yan Shuangshuang’s missed call. Her expression went dazed, and for a long time, she could not fully wake from it.

The impact of the three words “Yan Shuangshuang” was extremely strong. Gu Xin had no choice but to force down the pain in her heart and take several deep breaths, but no matter what, she could not press the call-back button.

She had not expected that the first thing she remembered would be the death of her loved ones. During that period when she had been half-dreaming and half-awake, Yan Shuangshuang had been the one staying by her side the whole time. She had been in pain, and Yan Shuangshuang had been in pain too.

It was only a little past seven in the morning. Calling back at this hour was too early. Gu Xin did not have time to eat breakfast and decided to head to the research institute first.

However, only after arriving at her destination did she realize just how strict the security at the research institute was. No matter what she said, the armed People’s Liberation Army soldiers at the entrance would not let her in.

Gu Xin sighed at the tightly shut iron gate and silently turned back.

Her memories were fragmented, hazy, and as elusive as the rain on Qingming. Yet that pain had been deeply etched into her mind. With the slightest touch, her heart abruptly curled in on itself.

This pain urged her, supervised her, made her want to quickly remember everything, and then properly face her own life again.

Gu Xin was not planning to simply turn around and go home like this. The word “give up” did not exist in her dictionary. Almost as soon as she turned a corner, she arrived at W University beside it. When Gu Xin had searched online yesterday, she had discovered that several of Professor An Pingyu’s students were now conducting research at W University, and they were rather well-known.

There were many students coming and going. Thanks to Gu Xin’s plain appearance and scholarly air, the security guard did not stop her at all. She followed behind a student and entered easily.

But Gu Xin had overestimated her ability to recognize directions. She stood blankly in the middle of a fork in the road, looking at the navigation and then at the path, completely unable to tell which way to go.

Just as Gu Xin was considering whether she should randomly grab a student and ask for directions, a surprised voice called out from behind her. “Gu Xin?”

Gu Xin turned back. The person who had called out to her was a slender young man who looked to be in his thirties. He wore a brown coat and large black-framed glasses, holding an umbrella in one hand and tucking a document bag under his other arm. Plainly, he was an Omega engaged in scientific research. He looked at her with a complicated expression. “It really is you.”

Gu Xin said, “Hello. Do you know me?”

The young man froze. “That joke isn’t funny.”

Gu Xin said, “If you know me, then you should know I never joke about things I remember.”

The young man realized that Gu Xin’s expression was serious and did not seem fake. Finally, he said in disbelief, “You really don’t remember?”

“Yes. My memories only begin from the day before yesterday. If you want to hear more, let’s talk somewhere else.”

The young man rubbed his hands together, then raked his hair in shock. At that moment, the class bell rang. He came back to his senses and hurried forward, gesturing for her to follow. “Go to my office first. Two hours. After I finish teaching, we’ll talk in detail.”

Gu Xin was very self-aware. “I don’t know the way. What class are you teaching? Can I sit in?”

The young man stopped and looked at her with an almost helpless gaze. “With your level, coming to listen to this kind of class—are you waiting to nitpick?”

Gu Xin sighed. “My head is empty right now. Forget knowledge, there isn’t even water in it.”

In the end, the young man agreed. He told Gu Xin to enter through the back door first, then he went over himself. One after the other, the two of them entered the classroom.

As soon as Gu Xin sat down, the boy beside her asked, “Which class are you from? How come I’ve never seen you before?”

Gu Xin said, “I’m here to audit.”

The boy understood. “Another one bewitched by Teacher An. Give up. Teacher An has a family.”

Gu Xin looked at the young man on the podium, then looked at the boy, not understanding how he had arrived at that conclusion. But she still shook her head seriously. “I also have a family.” Although it was about to fall apart very soon.

The boy was clearly a poor student. When Gu Xin was not releasing pheromones, she was very mild and looked like a gentle, approachable Beta.

He easily lumped Gu Xin into the category of poor students who only cared about faces as well. Earnestly and painstakingly, he advised Gu Xin not to think that good-looking people would be gentle when they struck. Last semester, Teacher An had failed two-thirds of the class and was absolutely a demon. If she had chosen Teacher An’s course, she should withdraw quickly, or sooner or later, she would have a hard time.

Unfortunately, because of Gu Xin’s arrival, their little corner became the young man’s key area of attention.

The young man was quickly drawn over and directly called on her. “The female student sitting in the corner of the last row on the left, please come up and write the formulas for continuous periodic signals and discrete periodic signals.”

The boy instantly shut his mouth. The classroom fell completely silent. Gu Xin looked around, then looked at the young man’s gaze fixed on her and silently pointed at the tip of her nose: Me?

The young man neither confirmed nor denied it.

Gu Xin was shocked. She had thought he was an acquaintance, but he could actually set her up like this?

Under the young man’s gentle yet unquestionable expression, Gu Xin could only force herself to go up. Everyone followed her with gazes that looked as if they were watching a warrior. Gu Xin was so embarrassed her toes almost curled.

She picked up the chalk. The deep green blackboard filled her entire field of vision, making one want to write something on it. But Gu Xin’s mind was blank.

Continuous periodic signals. Discrete periodic signals.

What in the world were these things?

After freezing for five seconds, Gu Xin hardened her heart and put the chalk down. Even if she wrote some ghostly scribble, what could the young man do to her?

But magically, almost the instant the chalk touched the blackboard, her hand seemed to develop its own consciousness and fluently, smoothly wrote down two formulas.

Both completely correct.

Write something. Write something more.

Gu Xin followed her heart and wrote another section of formulas. On her own, she began making assumptions and deriving results. Strings of formulas surfaced in her mind, and known results automatically became part of the derivation. She skipped many steps, because the progress of her calculations had already surpassed the progress of what she could write on the blackboard. Her hand only had time to write down the general outline.

Time seemed to stop in that moment. In the whole world, only she remained. Gu Xin sank into her own ocean, writing and writing nonstop. The shocked gazes of the people around her were not worthy of even the slightest attention from her. All that remained was everything before her eyes.

And the smooth strokes ended with the chalk snapping.

With a crack, the piece of chalk that had nearly been written down to the end broke in half. The barrier separating Gu Xin from the outside world shattered. She abruptly woke up and stared blankly at the blackboard she had filled.

Every character was familiar, and every character was also strange.

What had she written?

The young man’s complicated gaze landed on her. He looked at the blackboard, then at Gu Xin, and said, “All right. You can go back.”

He did not erase the blackboard either.

Gu Xin walked back to her seat light-headed and heavy-footed, not even noticing the admiring gaze the boy gave her.

After sitting down, she froze. She stayed frozen until the class ended, the students left one after another, and only the young man and Gu Xin remained in the classroom.

The young man unscrewed his cup and took a sip of water, then walked to Gu Xin’s side.

He said, “This was your final project before you left the research institute. After you left, no one could keep up with your train of thought. Professor set it aside. No one expected that once it was set aside, it would remain there for three years.”

As if awakened by the peal of a massive bell, Gu Xin suddenly trembled. Fine shards of memory surged up in an instant, and the needle-like, lingering pain made her involuntarily clench her teeth.

The young man seemed unaware. He looked at her calmly. “You said you lost your memory, but your instincts still remember. Even the place where you stopped is exactly the same as it was three years ago. Gu Xin, welcome back to the world of physics.”

After talking with the young man for more than two hours and eating lunch, Gu Xin finally had a rough understanding of the first half of her life. Only then did she come out and send Yan Shuangshuang a WeChat message: [Mm, I’m in the capital.]

In the next second, Yan Shuangshuang’s call came through.

“Hello?”

Yan Shuangshuang’s cool voice sounded beside her ear, asking the same question. “What are you doing in the capital?”

In Gu Xin’s mind flashed the sight of her face covered in tears. When she spoke again, her voice was a little hoarse. “I came to ask Teacher a question.”

“Teacher An?” Yan Shuangshuang guessed correctly at once. She said, “Teacher An retired the year before last. Although she’s still at the institute, if you go directly to the research institute, you’ll be stopped.”

Gu Xin did not say that she had found Teacher An’s son, her senior brother. Instead, she said, “There’s always a way, right?”

Yan Shuangshuang could not help stabbing at her. “Then what about our divorce?”

Gu Xin said, “I’ll be back on Monday.”

“You.” Yan Shuangshuang laughed from anger. “You’re quite good at keeping promises.”

Yan Shuangshuang could not resist lighting a cigarette. Yet the nameless fury in her chest did not leave with the smoke she exhaled. Instead, it burned more and more fiercely.

On this end, Gu Xin heard the click of the lighter igniting. After a long silence, she said, “We’re talking properly. Don’t smoke.”

Yan Shuangshuang instead clicked the lighter again and again, deliberately letting Gu Xin hear it clearly. “Who are you to control me?”

Gu Xin sighed. “I’m not controlling you. I’m controlling your lungs.”

“The lungs are mine.”

“Then I’m controlling your teeth.”

“The teeth are mine too.”

Gu Xin said, “Fine. Then I’m controlling you.”

“You can’t control me anymore.” Yan Shuangshuang took a fierce drag of the cigarette and blew out a beautiful smoke ring, but her eyes turned red. “So childish.”

“Mm.”

“So boring.” Yan Shuangshuang’s tears fell in large drops. Her fingers holding the cigarette trembled, and she could no longer hide the sound of her choking sobs. “Being married to you is so boring.”

Gu Xin was silent for a long while. Her shallow breathing sounded beside Yan Shuangshuang’s ear, but Yan Shuangshuang could no longer feel sweetness or heart-pounding affection from it. This relationship had, in the end, reached its end.

Yan Shuangshuang said, “Hurry back. Don’t delay the divorce.”

Before Gu Xin could say okay, Yan Shuangshuang had already hung up.

Gu Xin did not hear Yan Shuangshuang crying loudly on the other end, and Yan Shuangshuang did not hear Gu Xin’s “Don’t cry” on this end. Their emotions vented in their own separate spaces, drowning both of them like a flood.

They were like two people misplaced in time, walking together for only a short stretch of road before brushing past each other.

Yan Shuangshuang could no longer understand anything about Gu Xin.

Their once perfect match, their vows of eternal love—

In the end, it was nothing but emptiness.