Song of Everlasting Regret - Chapter 12

When Yu Jingqiu arrived at the study, she saw Lou Jing kneeling in the middle of the courtyard, facing the building. Lang Ye and Lou Yan were both standing outside.

Only after asking Lang Ye did she learn that Lou Xuanzhi had coughed up blood.

A long while later, Yu Xiu emerged.

Everyone immediately surrounded him. Yu Xiu reassured them, “It was merely a sudden rush of anger attacking his heart. Nothing serious. All of you should return. The sect master needs quiet rest.”

Yu Jingqiu wished to remain and care for him, but Lou Xuanzhi refused to see anyone except Yu Xiu. They had no choice but to leave.

Only Lou Jing remained kneeling there.

Yu Xiu went over and advised her, “Go back.”

Lou Jing said softly, “I want to see my father.”

Yu Xiu sighed and returned inside.

When he emerged again some time later, he said, “He does not wish to see you.”

Lou Jing fell silent, but she continued kneeling.

No matter how the others tried to persuade her, she refused to move. Helpless, they could only leave her there.

Before long, darkness descended.

The night wind blew fiercely.

Yu Xiu came out after checking Lou Xuanzhi’s pulse and saw a figure still kneeling in the courtyard.

Lou Jing had not moved.

Yu Xiu approached and tried to pull her to her feet.

“Are you trying to make things difficult for your father or for yourself?”

Lou Jing raised her head to look at him.

Yu Xiu said, “He is upset right now. Once his anger fades, he will naturally agree to see you. Be obedient and go back, all right?”

Lou Jing lowered her head again.

“I should not have talked back to him.”

“Now you understand that you were wrong?”

“I do not understand.”

Lou Jing stared blankly at the blue stone paving.

The night mist had settled, leaving the ground slightly damp.

“I…”

I want him to love me.

But at her age, she was ashamed to say aloud that she wanted to be cherished.

Perhaps because she had never received open and unmistakable favoritism, she lacked the confidence to voice those words.

Lou Xuanzhi had always been exceedingly strict with her.

Yu Xiu stood beside her for a while.

Lou Jing continued kneeling.

Eventually, he returned to the study and did not come out again.

The night passed.

At the first faint light of dawn, a soft, steady rain began to fall.

Yu Jingqiu awoke at the sound of it. Carrying an umbrella, she went to the study and, as expected, found Lou Jing still kneeling in the middle of the courtyard.

After rain fell in the mountains, everything seemed freshly washed and exceptionally clear.

The thin, kneeling figure stood out even more starkly.

Yu Jingqiu walked to her side.

The fine rain pattered against the oil-paper umbrella.

“Jing’er, go back.”

At that moment, the study door opened.

Yu Xiu walked out.

Lou Jing lifted her head, expectation appearing in her eyes.

Yu Xiu, however, spoke to Yu Jingqiu.

“You came at the right time. Your master wishes to see you.”

With that, Yu Xiu departed.

Lou Jing’s clothes were completely soaked by the rain.

Droplets clung to the ends of her hair, on the verge of falling. Her face was as pale as jade, making the redness of her eyes appear even more striking.

She murmured, “You have everything…”

Yu Jingqiu stood before her and tilted the umbrella slightly, shielding her from the slanting rain.

“Jing’er?”

Lou Jing looked up at her.

“No one looks down on you. You are extraordinarily gifted, and you have won his affection. Even your childhood name—he gave one only to you.

“You have everything, so you do not need to fight for anything.”

Lou Jing stood.

Because she had knelt for too long, she stumbled forward.

Yu Jingqiu caught her arm and steadied her, but Lou Jing pushed her away.

Limping, she walked down the mountain without looking back.

Lou Xuanzhi treated the two of them in completely different ways when teaching them.

He was strict with Lou Jing but more lenient with Yu Jingqiu. He had never spoken harshly to Yu Jingqiu.

Much of this was because of their different personalities.

But in the beginning, it had not been this way.

Lou Jing had been exceptionally obedient beside her mother.

After she later entered the sect and her mother disappeared from her life, everyone around her was a stranger. She cried and caused trouble for quite some time, demanding to descend the mountain and repeatedly attempting to run away.

No one could soothe her.

Only when Lou Xuanzhi finally lost his temper did he frighten her into obedience.

That one incident left the relationship between father and daughter rigid and strained.

Lou Jing was like a wolf cub who could never become a docile, obedient house dog.

If struck with a stick, she would bite in return.

When Lou Xuanzhi reprimanded her, she talked back. When she talked back, Lou Xuanzhi became increasingly convinced that she needed stricter discipline.

After this repeated again and again, it became extremely difficult to change the situation.

In truth, Lou Jing wanted Lou Xuanzhi to be gentler with her—to treat her as he treated Yu Jingqiu.

Perhaps she longed for such gentleness because she lacked the tender, flowing affection her mother had once given her.

She desperately craved praise from Lou Xuanzhi rather than criticism.

But she could not say any of this aloud.

Yu Jingqiu entered the study and stopped outside the inner curtain.

Lou Xuanzhi called from within, “Is that Shanjun? Come inside.”

Yu Jingqiu lifted the curtain and entered.

Lou Xuanzhi was half-reclining on the bed. His complexion was poor.

He glanced toward the door.

“Is she still kneeling outside?”

“Junior Sister has already gone down the mountain. Master…”

Yu Jingqiu hesitated.

She wanted to plead on Lou Jing’s behalf but feared upsetting Lou Xuanzhi and worsening his condition.

Lou Xuanzhi saw through her thoughts and waved a hand.

“Let us not speak of her. Shanjun, I summoned you because I have another important matter to discuss.”

“Open the cabinet beneath the window and take out the box inside.”

Yu Jingqiu obeyed.

There was indeed a small box inside.

She brought it to the bedside.

Lou Xuanzhi accepted it and rested one hand on its lid.

He seemed hesitant.

After a long period of contemplation, he said solemnly, “Shanjun, what Master is about to tell you is of the utmost importance. You must remember it carefully.”

Yu Jingqiu’s expression turned serious.

“Yes.”

“Before that, you must first promise Master three things.”

“Your disciple will naturally obey Master’s instructions.”

Lou Xuanzhi looked at Yu Jingqiu, his gaze unusually piercing.

“Master requires you to swear an oath.”

Yu Jingqiu could not help hesitating.

“May I ask which three things Master wishes this disciple to promise?”

“Once you have sworn, Master will naturally tell you.”

Yu Jingqiu did not know what matter could make Lou Xuanzhi so solemn, but she still obeyed and swore an oath before him.

Only then did Lou Xuanzhi nod.

“Good.”

“Shanjun, you are already seventeen this year. When I first carried you up the mountain, you were only this small.”

Lou Xuanzhi smiled and gestured with his hands.

When he turned toward the wind and rain outside the window, he sighed again.

“You have grown up. It is time you learned about your origins.”

“Master.”

Yu Jingqiu could not restrain her joy and stepped forward.

She had asked Lou Xuanzhi about her parents before.

Her junior brothers and sisters could all descend the mountain to visit their families, but she could not.

Every New Year’s Eve, she and Lou Jing remained on the mountain.

But Lou Jing’s father was Lou Xuanzhi.

Who was her own father?

Lou Xuanzhi had only ever said, When you are older, Master will tell you.

Older?

How old did she need to be?

She had never expected that the day would be today.

“Come here, Shanjun.”

Lou Xuanzhi beckoned to her.

Yu Jingqiu approached and knelt beside the bed.

Lou Xuanzhi said, “This… For a moment, I hardly know where to begin.”

He stared into empty space, his expression filled with the desolation of a world where people and things had long since changed.

The emotion stirred a dull pain in his internal organs, and he covered his mouth to cough twice.

Yu Jingqiu gently rubbed his back.

“Master, this disciple is not in a hurry. Perhaps you should wait until your health improves…”

“It does not matter.”

Lou Xuanzhi waved his hand.

“I will begin with your father’s identity.

“Since ancient times, the arts of healing and saving lives have been divided into three branches: medicine, poison, and gu.

“The latter two can cause immense harm. Whether they save or destroy a life depends entirely upon the user’s intention.

“Only medicine was founded from the beginning for the purpose of healing the injured and rescuing the dying.

“Within the medical tradition, two families brought the art to its highest level. One was Peach Blossom Medical Valley. The other was the Meng family.”

“Legend says the two originally came from the same lineage, tracing their ancestry to Qibo, the ancient forefather of medicine.

“Because their medical arts were so profound, people from throughout the martial world constantly disturbed them.

“Rumors also arose that they possessed a miraculous prescription capable of reviving the dead and regenerating flesh upon bare bones.

“Greedy people began persecuting them for it.

“Peach Blossom Medical Valley therefore wished to withdraw from the world.

“The Meng family, however, did not wish to betray the knowledge they had spent their lives mastering.

“The two sides consequently parted ways, and one family became two.”

Lou Xuanzhi placed a hand upon Yu Jingqiu’s shoulder.

Yu Jingqiu felt as though the palm carried a thousandfold weight.

“Shanjun, your father was the head of the Meng family—Meng Zhitang.”

“Meng Zhitang.”

The three syllables lingered on Yu Jingqiu’s tongue as she slowly savored them.

He seemed much like the man she had imagined.

Surely, he had been refined and gentle, with broad, warm hands and a smile like sunlight.

“What about my mother?”

“Your mother was named Yangshen.”

Seeing Yu Jingqiu’s excitement, Lou Xuanzhi’s smile became even more sorrowful.

“Back then, your master’s wife became close to her the moment they met.”

Yu Jingqiu smiled.

“So my mother knew Jing’er’s mother.”

“More than knew her.

“Your father and I were acquainted first. When he married, your master’s wife and I went to offer our congratulations, and that was when she met your mother.

“Later, the friendship between those two women became even deeper than the friendship between your father and me.”

Lou Xuanzhi chuckled.

“Their temperaments suited each other.”

If her mother had been similar in temperament to Lou Jing’s mother, then she must also have belonged to the martial world.

Lou Xuanzhi had said more than once that Lou Jing resembled her mother.

Yu Jingqiu imagined that her own mother must therefore have been bold, free-spirited, and unrestrained.

“What happened afterward?”

Yu Jingqiu’s eyes shone, filled with anticipation.

“Afterward… your elder sister was born.”

Yu Jingqiu’s heart began beating rapidly.

It was difficult to describe the joy she felt.

It was as though Heaven had suddenly placed a small surprise along the road of her life.

“An elder sister? I have an elder sister? What is her name? How old is she? What does she look like?”

For the first time before Lou Xuanzhi, Yu Jingqiu lost her usual composure and eagerly asked several questions at once.

Lou Xuanzhi’s gaze dimmed.

He did not answer her.

“After that, you were born.”

“For some unknown reason, the rumors about the medical world possessing a miraculous prescription capable of reviving the dead and restoring flesh to bones began spreading again.

“But how could the dead truly return to life? It was all false.

“Human greed, however, is endless. Someone eventually believed the rumors and set their sights upon the Meng family.

“At the time, someone was manipulating events from the shadows and exposed your mother’s identity…”

Yu Jingqiu’s heart gradually sank.

“My mother’s identity?”

Lou Xuanzhi remained silent for a moment before slowly saying, “Yangshen was a member of the Feihua Alliance.

“She was Qiu Zhaoyi’s foremost military commander and a banner master of the Chaosheng Sect.”

Lou Xuanzhi spoke calmly.

But Yu Jingqiu felt the words explode inside her.

A premonition arose in her heart, and she suddenly became afraid to hear what came next.

“Brother Meng had already concealed his identity and lived under another name.

“Later, however, a plague erupted in the south. The situation was dire, and Brother Meng could not bear to stand aside. He left seclusion, and it was then that his whereabouts were exposed.

“According to what Yangshen later told us, Qiu Zhaoyi had taken a wrong path while cultivating and developed a condition that caused his body to stiffen.

“Peach Blossom Medical Valley and the Meng family possessed methods of treating him.

“But Peach Blossom Medical Valley had withdrawn from the world and was almost impossible to locate.

“Brother Meng possessed the integrity of a scholar. He would rather break than bend.

“Qiu Zhaoyi therefore sent Yangshen to approach him and find a way to obtain the treatment.

“Unexpectedly, the two gradually developed feelings for one another.

“For Brother Meng’s sake, Yangshen left the Feihua Alliance.”

Yu Jingqiu instinctively asked, “How did she leave?”

Lou Xuanzhi did not answer.

Yu Jingqiu’s heart dropped.

She could already guess that it must have been an extremely difficult and painful process—so painful that Lou Xuanzhi could not bear to describe it before her.

“Yangshen’s health was permanently damaged.

“After giving birth to you, she was at her weakest. It was also at that time that her identity was exposed.

“During her many years in the Feihua Alliance, she had made countless enemies.

“As though they had planned it together, they all arrived during your hundred-day celebration to seek revenge.

“Yet no one knew which of them had truly come for vengeance and which merely used revenge as an excuse to seize the rumored prescription capable of reviving the dead and restoring flesh to bones.”