Song of Everlasting Regret - Chapter 13

Yu Jingqiu’s breath caught. Sweat appeared at her temples as she leaned forward and opened her mouth, desperate to ask something, yet in the end, she could not utter a single word.

Lou Xuanzhi looked at her.

“Your mother’s identity was a tremendous disadvantage. Not everyone in the martial world is capable of casting aside prejudice. Once her identity was exposed, the assault upon the Meng family suddenly seemed justified.”

“Master…”

Yu Jingqiu felt utterly lost.

Everything she believed had been shaken as never before.

Perhaps because she had not grown up beside her parents and did not possess a bond with them that had seeped into her very bones, she could still examine these rights and wrongs calmly and objectively.

Yet she had always longed for familial affection, and her heart naturally favored her own family.

Her reason and emotions collided, leaving her trapped in contradiction.

Since childhood, her elders had taught her that good and evil would both receive their just rewards.

Had her mother attracted those enemies because she had once planted the cause, leading to this endless cycle of vengeance?

Was that why villains had been able to exploit the opportunity?

Yu Jingqiu felt that perhaps it was so, yet also felt that it should not have been so.

“Master, do you believe that those people were justified in seeking revenge against my family? That my family deserved to suffer such a catastrophe?”

Seeing the confusion on her face, Lou Xuanzhi could not bear it.

“Master was personally involved. How could I possibly judge the matter objectively?

“I was deeply acquainted with your father. Since Yangshen had already left the Feihua Alliance and turned over a new leaf, my personal wish was naturally for your entire family to live peacefully and safely.

“Your master’s wife felt the same.”

When he mentioned his deceased beloved, tenderness entered Lou Xuanzhi’s eyes, though his expression became melancholy once more.

“When the incident occurred, I happened to be in seclusion. Your master’s wife attended your hundred-day celebration alone and became caught in that turmoil.

“It was also because of that… because of that…”

Yu Jingqiu’s face turned pale.

Jiao Lan had given birth to Lou Jing away from the sect and wandered outside for several years before finally returning.

Could that have been connected to the enmity surrounding Yu Jingqiu’s family?

“But at that time, this disciple… For as long as I can remember, I have lived in the sect. Jing’er and Master’s Wife did not return until several years later.”

“Shanjun.”

The moment Lou Xuanzhi called her name, her heart sank as though a thousand-catty stone had dragged it downward.

“That night, the Meng family estate was swallowed by flames.

“Your father was killed while protecting your mother. Peach Blossom Medical Valley practiced martial arts, but the Meng family devoted itself solely to medicine and did not know how to fight.

“Other than a few close friends from the martial world, the only people protecting everyone were your mother and your master’s wife.

“Your mother was already in poor health. She also had to protect both you and your sister, along with a household of servants. How could she withstand that storm of flashing blades?

“In the chaos, the servant carrying you became separated from the others.”

Yu Jingqiu seemed to hear the cracking of wood burning within the flames, along with the shouts and clashing weapons of people fighting and killing one another.

“Your loyal servant was frightened by every rustle of the wind. How could he dare wander aimlessly in search of your missing mother?

“The only person he trusted was me, and the only safe destination he knew was Tiger Roar Mountain.

“He traveled in terror, hurrying day and night toward the Qianyuan Sect. When he reached Tiger Roar Mountain, he mistook your Martial Uncle Lou Yan for me.

“He entrusted you to him, explained what had happened, and then breathed his last.”

“My mother, my elder sister… Master, Jing’er and Master’s Wife returned, so my mother and sister…”

Although Jiao Lan had already passed away, Yu Jingqiu vaguely remembered meeting her once. It had been when Lou Jing first came to the Qianyuan Sect.

Afterward, she disappeared from Yu Jingqiu’s life. The elders said she had died from illness.

Yu Jingqiu had been too young at the time to retain a clear memory of her.

“I know very little about what your mother and your master’s wife experienced afterward. I only heard your master’s wife mention that Yangshen had already…”

Yu Jingqiu lowered her head slightly, her expression dim.

She had long suspected that both her parents might be dead.

Yet while Lou Xuanzhi recounted everything, a tiny hope had still remained in her heart.

Even when the ending was obvious, she could not completely extinguish it.

Thus, disappointment was inevitable, and so was sorrow.

“However, your elder sister is most likely still alive.”

Yu Jingqiu’s eyes brightened.

The sudden turn made her feel as though she had found a path to survival in the depths of despair.

Her heart began beating rapidly.

“Master, is that true? What is her name? Where is she? How old would she be now?”

She had asked these questions before.

Lou Xuanzhi continued avoiding them.

Instead, he took something from the box.

It was half of a broken jade pendant.

Originally, it had been a circular pendant. A pair of bluebirds had been carved using the jade’s natural white and blue-green coloring.

Now only one half remained. Its broken edge was jagged, and a red cord had been wound around the fragment.

“This was originally your father’s jade pendant.

“When your family’s enemies attacked, your mother feared that you and your sister might become separated. She broke the pendant into two pieces and gave one half to each of you.

“She never expected that such a disaster would truly occur.

“There are countless pieces of beautiful jade in the world, but the only fragment capable of perfectly joining this one is the half carried by your elder sister.”

Yu Jingqiu carefully accepted the jade.

This was likely the only proof by which she and her sister could recognize one another.

The small fragment suddenly felt exceedingly heavy in her palm.

Lou Xuanzhi held the open box before him.

“Shanjun, Master previously required you to promise three things.”

Yu Jingqiu looked confused.

“Yes.”

Lou Xuanzhi’s expression became solemn.

“The first is that you must not search for your sister, much less acknowledge your relationship with her.”

“Master, why—”

Before she could finish, Lou Xuanzhi continued.

“The second is that you must not investigate the destruction of the Meng family, nor may you seek revenge.”

“Master!”

Yu Jingqiu became anxious and shook her head.

“No. This disciple does not understand. I do not understand.”

She asked, “Does Master not wish this disciple to avenge the deaths of her father and mother?”

“Shanjun, I know your temperament is gentle. If you were as intense as Jing’er, Master would not have told you any of this today.”

Yu Jingqiu bent forward, her low voice carrying hurt.

“If Master forbids this disciple from taking revenge, then I will not take revenge. But may I not even search for my sister?”

Lou Xuanzhi shook his head.

Disappointment spread across Yu Jingqiu’s face.

He sighed.

“For at least ten years—no, until you are capable of standing alone. You must wait until your martial arts are at least equal to mine.

“When that day comes, whether you wish to search for her or seek out your enemies, Master will no longer stop you.”

Yu Jingqiu sensed that there was more hidden within his words.

“With your present ability, attempting such a thing would be no different from an ant trying to shake a great tree.

“Once they perceive you as a threat, they may eliminate you before your wings have fully grown, cutting down the weeds and tearing out the roots. Do you understand?”

Yu Jingqiu still could not relinquish her hope.

“But my elder sister… I only wish to see her.”

Lou Xuanzhi gave a cold snort.

“With your current ability, you are not capable of dealing or associating with her. Even if she comes to find you herself, you must not meet her.”

Yu Jingqiu suddenly asked, “Master, do you know something about my elder sister?”

But Lou Xuanzhi was determined not to reveal anything. Further questions were useless.

He abruptly said in a deep voice, “Yu Jingqiu, receive your orders.”

His voice was exceptionally authoritative.

Yu Jingqiu froze.

Whenever Lou Xuanzhi called her by her full name, he was speaking as sect master rather than simply as her master.

She moved backward and knelt.

“This disciple awaits the sect master’s command.”

Lou Xuanzhi rose and covered his mouth as he coughed quietly twice.

He walked to the long table and lifted the sword resting upon the rack.

Its scabbard was plain, ancient, and heavy, concealing every trace of the blade’s brilliance.

“This is the sect master’s sword—Deliverance from Calamity.”

Holding the sword in both hands, Lou Xuanzhi stood before Yu Jingqiu.

“From this day onward, this will be your sword. When Master steps down, you will become the next sect master.”

Yu Jingqiu placed both palms against the floor.

“This disciple cannot accept.”

“Why not?”

Yu Jingqiu was terrified.

“This disciple cannot bear such a great responsibility and has no desire for the position of sect master. Master… the sect master should truly choose someone else.”

“Then tell me which disciple in the sect surpasses you.”

“Although this disciple possesses some talent in martial arts, I have no ability to govern the sect.

“My junior brothers and sisters are all promising talents. Even if none of them were chosen, the elders would still be more suitable than this disciple.”

Lou Xuanzhi dismissed her concerns.

“Abilities are acquired gradually through study. When the time comes, the elders will assist you.”

“Master…”

Yu Jingqiu stared at the sword, unable to decide.

She had never imagined herself inheriting the position of sect master.

The only future that had ever appeared in her mind was perhaps a lifetime spent at Chengxin Waterside Pavilion—listening to the rain, practicing calligraphy, and cultivating her sword arts until the years passed without notice.

Many people probably desired the position of sect master.

She did not.

She would gladly surrender it to someone who truly wanted it.

Lou Xuanzhi said, “Shanjun, this is the third matter.”

“Master is still in the prime of life. There is plenty of time to reconsider the succession.”

With his hands clasped behind his back, Lou Xuanzhi said, “Storms arise without warning, and fortune or disaster may befall a person at any moment. Who can say for certain?”

Lou Xuanzhi had made his decision.

Yu Jingqiu had always obeyed her elders. How could she possibly defy him?

Helpless, she could only accept Deliverance from Calamity for the time being.

Lou Xuanzhi sat beside the bed and stared into space for a while.

He feared that if his disciples attained high positions, others would make things difficult for them. Yet he also feared that without status, they would have no one to protect them.

He had weighed the question of succession for a long time.

In the end, pressed by the shortage of time and trapped between two difficult choices, he had forced himself to make a decision.

“Besides those three things, Shanjun, Master wishes to ask one more favor of you.”

“If Master commands it, this disciple will obey.”

“Your junior sister…”

Lou Xuanzhi laughed bitterly twice.

“She has always been a sickness in my heart. I constantly fear that she will stray onto the wrong path. If one day I am no longer here…”

“Master, please do not say such inauspicious things.”

“Everyone grows old, and that day will eventually come.

“If it truly does, then for my sake, protect her when you can and advise her when you can.

“If the day comes when neither is possible, she will likely have already fallen too deeply and committed a grave wrong.

“Then you must—kill her.”

Yu Jingqiu was deeply shocked by the final words and remained frozen, not knowing how to respond.

“It would be best if all of this were merely Master worrying without reason.

“Your nature is too soft, while hers is too forceful. You can compensate for each other’s shortcomings.

“If you two sisters live harmoniously and support each other, no problem within the sect will be impossible to resolve.”

Lou Xuanzhi had earlier told Yu Jingqiu that Jiao Lan had protected her mother and elder sister and consequently wandered outside for years.

He hoped Yu Jingqiu would remember that kindness.

When he was no longer present, she might then do everything possible to protect Lou Jing.

This was the selfish desire of a father.

By the time Yu Jingqiu emerged from the study, the sky had grown even darker than before.

The rain had become heavier.

She walked into the courtyard as though her mind were somewhere far away, even forgetting to take the umbrella beneath the corridor.

Lou Yan was standing nearby, but she did not notice him.

Only when he spoke did she stop.

“Martial Uncle.”

Lou Yan first glanced at Deliverance from Calamity in her hand.

Then, seeing her dazed and desolate expression, he asked, “Your master told you?”

Yu Jingqiu asked, “Martial Uncle also knows about my origins?”

“Your master had his reasons for concealing what happened to the Meng family.

“He did not want you to grow up consumed by hatred. Furthermore, Yangshen’s identity was extraordinary, so he naturally had to proceed cautiously.

“Do not blame him.”

“I understand Master’s painstaking intentions.

“He raised and taught me from childhood. His care for me is as evident as the sun and moon. How could I possibly blame him?”

“That is good.

“The past cannot be corrected, but the future can still be pursued. He has entrusted you with a grave responsibility. You should gather your strength and not drown in grief.”

“Yes. This disciple understands.”

Yu Jingqiu answered obediently, but her expression remained dejected.

After bidding farewell to Lou Yan, she walked alone through the bleak mountain rain without opening an umbrella, following the winding path back to Xiangri Peak.

Not long after Yu Jingqiu departed, Lou Yan glanced toward another direction.

Someone approached and bowed.

“Martial Uncle Lou.”

“Does your master require something?”

Han Ling held a rolled painting in his hand and smiled.

“I came to find Senior Sister Yu. I had something to tell her, but we were interrupted yesterday. When I went to see her today, I was told she had come to the study.”

“Oh, you missed her. She has already left.”

“Then this disciple will also take his leave.”

Lou Yan laughed softly twice.

“Go.”