Appearing on a Marriage Show Before Getting Divorced - Chapter 32

Ruan Youran stared at Zhengzhi—at her tiny face, her beautiful eyes, and her delicate, pitiable red lips. As she looked, tears streamed down her face. A cry, like a mournful wail, escaped her throat, and her entire body trembled.

Zhengzhi stared blankly back at Ruan Youran. That bond of blood told her that the person in front of her was the “Mamma-Youran” her mother had described since she was a baby—the one who loved her very, very much.

And… this face…

She had seen it countless times whenever she looked in the mirror. They looked so much alike.

Zhengzhi turned to look at Chu Nian. Chu Nian’s face was also covered in tears. She stroked Zhengzhi’s hair and whispered, “Go ahead.”

Zhengzhi walked slowly toward Ruan Youran. Youran watched her, her vision blurred by tears. She felt a soft little hand wrap around her leg, and a tiny yet steady voice called out: “Mamma-Youran.”

Chu Qing and Ruan Qiu entered the room at that moment. Seeing this scene, they both began to weep.

Ruan Youran slowly… very slowly, knelt down. She wanted to pull Zhengzhi into her arms, but at that exact moment, her vision went black, and she fainted.

By the time she woke up again, it was dark. A doctor had come to the house and said Ruan Youran was suffering from severe malnutrition; her mental state was poor, and she could no longer handle extreme emotional shocks. She remained in a deep sleep, as if trying to make up for all the sleep she had lost over the past few years.

Chu Nian stood by the door, watching Youran from a distance. She didn’t dare enter; she didn’t know if the current Youran would even allow her to be near.

Chu Qing felt Youran’s forehead. “She has a slight fever.” She looked at Ruan Qiu. “I need to start an IV. We can’t let this go on.”

Ruan Qiu nodded, sighing softly. Beside them, Zhengzhi gripped the edge of the bed, tilting her head as she watched Youran. Ruan Qiu’s heart ached at the sight. She stroked the girl’s hair. “Zhengzhi, it’s time for bed. You can see Mamma-Youran again tomorrow, okay?”

Zhengzhi stared at Youran’s pale face and asked in a tiny voice, “Is Mamma-Youran sick too? The same sickness as Mamma? I’m scared…”

Those words tore through the hearts of everyone present.

Chu Nian could no longer restrain herself. She stepped forward and pulled Zhengzhi into a fierce embrace. “No, she’s not. Mamma-Youran will be better very soon, okay?”

During these three years, Zhengzhi and Chu Nian had depended on each other. She had seen her mother hover between life and death countless times. Although she wasn’t good at expressing herself, her tiny heart was constantly shrouded in fear.

Though she obediently went to sleep, the next morning, she ran straight back to Youran’s room. Fearing the adults would chase her away, she sat quietly by the bed and built her toys, just as she used to do when accompanying Chu Nian.

Ruan Qiu and Chu Qing checked on her several times, but Zhengzhi was deaf to their calls. They knew this child had a mind of her own, and they couldn’t bring themselves to say anything more than a helpless sigh.

Zhengzhi stole several glances at Youran. While eating, she whispered to Chu Nian, “Mamma, Mamma-Youran is so pretty.”

Chu Nian smiled, though it was tinged with bitterness. Ruan Qiu, trying to lighten the mood, teased Zhengzhi: “Does she look like Grandma?”

Zhengzhi usually didn’t pay much attention to anyone but Chu Nian, but this time she replied instantly: “No! Mamma-Youran is young and has good skin!”

Ruan Qiu: “…………….”

The only person brave enough to stab President Ruan in her aging heart was her precious granddaughter.

Ruan Youran woke up in the middle of the night. Her mind was clear, and she could hear people talking around her, but her body felt as if it were bound by something. She couldn’t move—and she didn’t want to.

She was too tired. Right now, she didn’t want to hear anything or think about anything. Knowing she needed time, the family didn’t force her. Aside from Zhengzhi and the daily delivery of food, no one disturbed her.

Youran spent most of her time sleeping. She wouldn’t even look at Zhengzhi. Sometimes, when Zhengzhi stood on her tiptoes at the foot of the bed to see if she was awake, Youran would close her eyes and pull the quilt over her head, letting her tears soak the sheets.

In the meantime, Ruan Qiu personally spoke with Director Niu. She explained the situation and, in her typical domineering fashion, told the director to name any compensation for the delay, and she would fulfill it. Although Soya hadn’t told Director Niu anything, the director sensed something was wrong. She smiled and said, “There’s no rush. I can wait.”

Yes, everyone was waiting. Waiting for Ruan Youran to find her way out.

Chu Nian was suffering from insomnia. Every night she lay awake, her mind racing with a thousand thoughts. Eventually, Ruan Qiu sat her down for a deep talk.

Though Ruan Qiu was often playful—bickering with Youran or teasing Zhengzhi—everyone knew she was the true head of the household, possessing an authority and strength that could not be defied.

“Your mother and I won’t blame you for what happened between you and Jianjian. Feelings are complicated. But Nian Nian, can you bear to lose Jianjian? Can you bear to leave Zhengzhi? If you continue like this… you won’t even have a chance to make amends. For you right now, staying alive is the greatest hope.”

Staying alive is the greatest hope.

Yes. Back then, when she left Ruan Youran, hadn’t she created a miracle by surviving childbirth? Hadn’t she come back from the gates of hell time and again to see Zhengzhi through her treatments? It was all because of hope. She had to pull herself together. Things were already better than before, weren’t they? At the very least, she had finally lived to see the mother and daughter together.

On the fourth morning, Ruan Youran got up. It was very early, before dawn, while everyone else was still asleep. She dressed quietly. After lying in bed for so many days, her limbs felt weak and atrophied.

After washing up, she stood over the toys Zhengzhi had built on the floor. She paused for a moment, blinking back tears, and then stepped out.

Leaving this early only happened in the past when she was busy filming or taking Chu Nian to the airport. Back then, they spent so much time apart. Although Chu Nian told her many times to sleep in and take a car, Youran refused. She wanted to cling to Chu Nian, cherishing every second they had together—even if they didn’t speak, even if it was just a brief embrace in the car.

Now… Youran felt lost. She didn’t know what she should do or even what she wanted.

She walked up the mountain to the gates of Lingguang Temple. Master Huiguo stood there with palms together, offering a slight smile. “Amitabha.”

Youran tried to smile back, but before she could, hot tears fell. Master Huiguo looked at her, said nothing, and led her into the temple to worship.

As a child, Youran had come here with her mothers. Master Huiguo had once said she had a predestined bond with the Buddha. As she grew older, she would come here whenever she had troubles she couldn’t resolve. Standing in the center of the temple, looking at the vast prayers and the devout pilgrims, her heart found peace.

The power of faith can sometimes make a person strong. Standing on the misty mountaintop, Youran slowly recounted the experiences of the past few years to Master Huiguo. The Master listened in silence, moving the prayer beads in her hand one by one.

When Youran finished, Master Huiguo looked up and asked only one thing.

“Youran, do you still love her?”

That single question made Youran freeze. She thought the Master would ask about her feelings or offer direct guidance. But she didn’t. She asked the one question Youran couldn’t answer.

Master Huiguo waited for a moment and smiled. “The people of the world are always entangled in love, hate, and resentment, unaware that everything eventually turns to drifting clouds. A life of several decades is but a fleeting moment, eventually turning to bone and dust. In this life, the closest lovers may be but strangers in the next.”

Youran felt as if her chest were blocked. She and Chu Nian had once knelt before the Buddha and sworn to be together for all eternity, loving each other without doubt in every life to come.

Master Huiguo looked into her eyes. “In this world, everything except life and death is a trivial matter. If you could promise her your life and death, why can you not forgive? The answer you seek is not one I can give; it is already in your heart.”

When Youran returned, her heart was in a strange state. Only Chu Nian was awake, preparing breakfast. Hearing the noise, Chu Nian walked quickly to the door.

Their eyes met. For a moment, time stood still. They simply looked at each other, neither speaking.

The youthful vibrance of the past was gone; their eyes were filled with exhaustion, pain, and conflict. Youran wanted so badly to return to the past. She wanted to ask Chu Nian: if time could restart and she could choose again, would she still leave?

“Mamma… water…”

Zhengzhi’s milky voice from the next room broke the silence. Youran tilted her head and walked into the room. Chu Nian took a deep breath, controlling her emotions. “Coming.”

Ruan Qiu and Chu Qing had work today, so Chu Nian accompanied Zhengzhi for breakfast. Zhengzhi was very good; she didn’t need to be fed like other children her age, eating seriously with her spoon.

As Chu Nian absentmindedly cleared the dishes, Zhengzhi held her bowl of porridge and said, “Mamma, I had a dream last night. I dreamed Mamma-Youran woke up. I dreamed she held me and kissed me. It was a very sweet kiss. I was so happy.”

Chu Nian’s body stiffened.

Zhengzhi smiled, still seemingly immersed in the dream. Without saying more, she carried her bowl toward Youran’s room. She was used to bringing food in every day. She was used to this silent companionship.

The weather was beautiful. Zhengzhi sat on the floor by Youran’s bed. She built her toys for a while, and feeling the sunlight streaming through the window, she looked up in high spirits and began to hum a little tune: “My baby, baby, I’ll give you a little sweetness, to let you sleep well tonight… la la la la, my baby, someone to stay with you when you’re tired…”

This was the song Chu Nian would sing to her repeatedly when she couldn’t sleep from the pain of her treatments. Now, though Zhengzhi sang it to herself, she felt happy thinking about her dream—thinking that she finally had two mothers.

She sang more and more happily. Zhengzhi stood up, shuffled to the head of the bed, and struggled on her tiptoes to climb up. Lifting the quilt, she crawled into Youran’s arms. She looked at the Youran, who had her eyes closed, and pressed her pink cherry-lips against her forehead.

Youran didn’t move.

Zhengzhi didn’t mind; she was used to it. She continued singing, but this time, she wrapped her tiny arms around Youran, patting her gently: “My baby, baby, I’ll give you a little sweetness, to let you sleep well tonight…”

For three years, she and Chu Nian had survived this way. Many times, when her mother was in too much pain, she would hold the photo of the two of them and weep silently. Zhengzhi would run over and comfort her just like this.

At first, Zhengzhi had been shy, but after staying with Youran these few days, she had become more familiar and relaxed. She smiled, patting Youran while singing the song over and over.

A beam of warm sunlight fell across the quilt. A single tear rolled slowly from the corner of Youran’s eye, and an arm emerged from beneath the covers.

Zhengzhi froze, staring blankly at that hand. A moment later, she was pulled into a warm embrace.

And then, the sweet kiss from Zhengzhi’s dream finally landed on her forehead.

…Suddenly… her dream had come true.