Chapter 61

Jian Hao was actually quite a coward.

She was so much of a coward that even after liking Tan Yanqing for all these years, even when she used her status as a “junior” in their “family” to initiate physical contact, it was always subtle. It would be her arm “accidentally” brushing against Tan Yanqing’s while walking, her hand inadvertently touching Tan Yanqing’s when passing an object, or clamoring that she liked sitting in the passenger seat so that whenever they took Tan Yanqing’s car, everyone would leave that spot for her. Sometimes, it was naturally drinking from the same cup or eating the same bite of food…

These were all physical contacts that could happen in daily life, but these actions—which looked ordinary to anyone else—were moments of heart-racing palpitation for her, occurring more times than she could count.

She was a coward; she did these things sneakily, never daring to be too obvious for fear that Tan Yanqing would discover her feelings. Shouldn’t you want the person you love to know? Why be afraid? Because she was truly a coward.

She was afraid of the barrier between their status as elder and junior; afraid that Tan Yanqing would distance herself once she found out; afraid of Jian You knowing; afraid of…

She feared one thing after another, following her heart’s fears for years. But a sudden trip through time changed her mindset.

Those small actions that once made her blush, her heart pound, and her scream into her pillow for days afterward were mere child’s play compared to having actually kissed Tan Yanqing. Although they hadn’t officially defined their relationship, during those few minutes of kissing, she had briefly “owned” Tan Yanqing.

In fact, before she traveled back, Tan Yanqing clearly had feelings for her too! It was just one step away from the finish line!

She had thought that by explaining to Tan Yanqing that she was Jian Lai—clearing the stigma of Jian Lai being a “scumbag”—she could be with Tan Yanqing and fly off together. And the result?

One second before she could embrace her beauty, the beauty slammed the door—an iron gate specifically welded to keep her out. She couldn’t break it open; she couldn’t storm in.

So what was she to do?

After brooding for two days, she came up with an idea. She wasn’t sure if it was a bad one, but she just wanted to see if Tan Yanqing truly didn’t care about her anymore. She threw out the bait, then cast a long line to catch the big fish.

During this time, Guan Xinting asked her if doing this was wrong.

Wrong? How could it be wrong? If she didn’t do something, Tan Yanqing might eventually let go completely and bring some “Auntie” home to meet her. What would she do then? Crawl into their bed every day so they couldn’t do anything? Or be the “third party” and pry at the wall?

She couldn’t bring herself to disrupt family harmony like that. After all, since she was a child, whenever she did something wrong or forbidden, Jian You would trick her: “Be careful, or Auntie Tan will lock you in jail.”

It was strange; she had been fooled by that line from childhood to adulthood, yet she wasn’t afraid of Tan Yanqing at all—she even wanted to date her.

Perhaps it was because whenever Tan Yanqing heard Jian You say that, she would always crinkle her eyes slightly, rub Jian Hao’s head, and say softly: “Xiao Hao is so good, I like her too much to do that. So, Xiao Hao, be good; if Mom says not to do something, we won’t do it.”

Jian You and Tan Yanqing played “good cop, bad cop”—one gave the slap, the other gave the candy. They worked in perfect sync just to fool Jian Hao. Little Jian Hao, not knowing any better, was tricked into becoming a well-behaved little treasure.

But because of this, her love for Jian You carried a trace of fear, while for Tan Yanqing… it was pure love, love upon love. From a young age, even if Jian You and Tan Yanqing said the same thing, she would always listen to Tan Yanqing a bit more. Tan Yanqing’s word was law.

But now Tan Yanqing was saying that it was all in the past and told her not to think about it anymore.

Was she going to listen?

As if!

Obedient children don’t get candy! Isn’t candy bought for the kids who cry and make a scene to make them stop? Obedient children who ask for candy only get told, “No, you’ll get cavities.”

If she continued to listen to Tan Yanqing, she would never have a chance with her.

Although her previous liking for Tan Yanqing was somewhat superficial—liking her kindness and the way she made her feel—she actually knew very little about Tan Yanqing as a person. But even with that little knowledge, having lived together for so many years, she knew that Tan Yanqing had a trait in her bones that was both good and very bad: stubbornness.

Paranoia, persistence, tenacity, stubbornness.

Once she decided on something, she had to have an answer. For that answer, she would brave wind and rain, forging ahead. Otherwise, who would search for someone for seventeen years just for a flickering spark of youth that might have vanished long ago?

She knew it was a first love, a bittersweet memory, someone impossible to forget for a lifetime. But even so, in the long river of time, one usually sees more scenery and meets more warmth. Who else would hold onto their original intention so unwaveringly, giving up their ideals to search for someone non-stop for seventeen years?

Tan Yanqing said it was what it was, but Jian Hao wouldn’t have it.

She was going to make a scene! She was going to be unreasonable! She was going to see if Tan Yanqing would give her a slap or a piece of candy!

While Jian Hao was messaging Guan Xinting, Tan Yanqing had entered the room and inserted the key card. The lights “popped” on. Jian Hao hadn’t noticed then, but now, looking at Tan Yanqing, she could clearly see the face she hadn’t been able to see downstairs.

Strings of red lanterns hung from the trees in front of the hotel. The light was misty, and against the black of the night, it made people look ethereal. Downstairs, standing in the gloom of New Year’s Eve, it felt as though a festive and joyful mood was thrust upon them without question. So even though Jian Hao felt Tan Yanqing’s anger, she couldn’t see her expression clearly.

She didn’t know what Tan Yanqing’s expression was then, but now, the way Tan Yanqing looked at her was as calm as when she was a child playing nearby while Tan Yanqing worked or read—glancing at her occasionally, read the original at bailiantales.comand as long as she wasn’t hurt, letting her be mischievous.

Fury rose in Jian Hao’s heart. Tan Yanqing! How dare you still treat me like a child!

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

Jian Hao let out a sneer and started taking off her overcoat. She was wearing a semi-turtleneck thermal top underneath. Once the bulky coat was off, her slender frame was revealed.

Jian Hao tossed the coat onto the bed and grabbed the hem of her thermal top, looking as if she were about to pull it off. Just as she lifted a section, exposing her snow-white belly to the air, her arm was pressed down by a hand. She looked up. Tan Yanqing was frowning, her voice heavy: “What are you doing?”

Jian Hao lifted her eyes to meet hers and said, “I said if you don’t believe me, check for yourself.” As she spoke, she took advantage of Tan Yanqing’s momentary lapse, grabbed Tan Yanqing’s wrist, and tried to pull it toward her waistband. But before she could move, Tan Yanqing shook her off.

When Tan Yanqing’s gaze swept over her again, there was anger in her eyes. But it was mostly the irritation and helplessness of facing a rebellious child.

Jian Hao acted as if she didn’t see the emotion in Tan Yanqing’s eyes. She gave a mischievous smile. “Are you afraid?”

She didn’t take off any more clothes, because even if she did, she didn’t have any red marks or hickeys on her body to prove anything. She was doing this on purpose to see Tan Yanqing’s reaction.

“Don’t you disbelieve that Tingting and I did it? I offered to let you check, and you won’t. What are you afraid of? Afraid you’ll find out Tingting and I really did it, or afraid that while checking, you won’t be able to help doing it with me?”

“Jian Hao!” That indifferent face of Tan Yanqing’s could no longer remain still. She frowned and looked at Jian Hao: “Do you know what you are saying?”

Jian Hao narrowed her eyes and smiled: “I said, I know exactly what I am doing and saying!” She took a step forward, closing bailiantales.com in on Tan Yanqing. “It’s you who doesn’t know what you are doing! I’ll ask you one thing: why, when you felt I was here to get a room with someone else, did you not call my mother?”

Tan Yanqing took half a step back, inadvertently distancing herself from Jian Hao. She turned her head away, avoiding eye contact, and replied coldly: “I am your aunt; it’s the same if I come.”

“It’s certainly not the same. Whether you’re here as ‘Auntie Tan’ to discipline me, or as ‘Tan Yanqing’ to catch me—it’s all up to you.” At this point, she couldn’t help but complain: “Everything is up to you. You won’t listen to a word I say; you just want me to be obedient. But why won’t you listen to me?”

Jian Hao’s hand reached for Tan Yanqing’s waist, but as soon as she touched her, Tan Yanqing stepped back to dodge. Jian Hao noticed, but she didn’t show it, moving in again silently.

This time, she quickly wrapped her arms around Tan Yanqing’s waist, interlacing her fingers behind her back so Tan Yanqing couldn’t easily break free. When Tan Yanqing grabbed her wrists to pull her hands away, Jian Hao gasped, “Ow! It hurts!”

Jian Hao was a little princess. Raised in comfort, she was somewhat delicate; she would cry out “it hurts” at the slightest bump. Of course, this side of her was only shown to Jian You and Tan Yanqing; in front of others, Jian Hao was carefree, brushing off any pain.

However, this delicateness had rarely appeared as she grew older. It wasn’t like when she was a child, when even a tiny bit of redness on her skin would be pointed out to Tan Yanqing, tearfully asking her to blow on it.

The moment she cried “it hurts,” Tan Yanqing instinctively loosened her grip. The hands clasped behind her waist took the opportunity to tighten their hold.

Tan Yanqing frowned.

Jian Hao sniffed. “Why are you being so mean? You’re actually hurting me!”

After saying that, her eyes turned red. Of course, she wasn’t crying because Tan Yanqing had hurt her, but because she felt aggrieved. Why dodge me like this? Can’t I even give you a hug?

Thinking about it, a tear trickled down. Jian ​unauthorized copy​Hao looked up at the person in front of her with watery eyes. “Tan Yanqing, I hurt…”

Heartache.

Tan Yanqing’s lips, which had been pursed until they were pale, softened. “Sorry, I didn’t pay attention to my strength.”

She let go of Jian Hao’s wrists, not daring to touch her again. Seeing Jian Hao crying, she wanted to pat her head or her back to comfort her, but then she remembered something. Her hand lifted slightly only to freeze in mid-air, stuck for a moment.

Seeing her like this, Jian Hao’s voice trembled: “You don’t love me anymore.”

How can you not love me anymore…

Tan Yanqing’s eyelids jumped, and her chest tightened. Ultimately, she couldn’t bear to see Jian Hao cry. Her right hand landed on Jian Hao’s shoulder, patting it gently, while her left hand didn’t touch any part of Jian Hao’s body, hanging by her leg instead.

It looked more like an elder comforting a junior.

Suppressing the bitterness spreading through her chest, she said hoarsely: “I love you.”

Jian Hao’s wet lashes stopped flickering. She looked at Tan Yanqing through blurred, teary eyes.

Resisting the urge to wipe away Jian Hao’s tears, Tan Yanqing’s gaze dropped calmly to meet hers. She said: “I’ve loved you since you were little, and I still do.”

She paused, then finally spoke in a deep voice: “Xiao Hao, bailiantales.comwe shouldn’t be like this.”