After the Early-Deceased White Moonlight of a Wealthy Family Returns (GL) - Chapter 44

Shen You’an had never seen Su Wu like this.

She was speechless, not knowing how to respond.

Su Wu continued, “Shen Huaijin is back. I met her on the cruise; she has things she wants to say to you in person.”

“Do you not intend to see her?”

“My situation…” Shen You’an hesitated. “She already knows?”

“If you mean the fact that you’ve returned, yes. Someone sent a message to Shen Huaijin.”

“Who?”

“Weren’t you going to jump?” Su Wu said. “Why ask such things now?”

Shen You’an felt humiliated and helpless. She pressed her lips together and remained silent.

Su Wu let out a soft sigh. “I, the person who was bitten, haven’t said anything yet. Why are you the one who can’t bear it?”

Seeing the woman speak of the matter so blatantly, Shen You’an looked around in a panic and cried, “A-jie!”

“There’s no one here,” Su Wu replied dismissively. “Calm now? Still afraid of being discovered? Last night on the cruise—”

Before she could finish, Shen You’an covered her lips and pulled her a step back.

Finally, the two of them were away from the cliff’s edge.

Su Wu breathed a secret sigh of relief. She watched as Shen You’an, utterly bashful and guilty, asked, “What did I do?”

It seemed she remembered nothing.

Su Wu couldn’t tell if she was happy or disappointed. Thinking of her own loss of control before fainting, she decided it was better if Shen You’an remembered nothing. Otherwise, she feared the girl wouldn’t be able to handle it and would try to jump off a cliff again.

“Nothing much,” Su Wu replied. “What do you think you did?”

Shen You’an’s gaze flickered toward Su Wu’s fair neck. She lifted her hand slightly, then gave up, not daring to touch it abruptly.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized obediently. “I must have hurt you. A-jie, you don’t have to coax me just to spare my feelings. I know that I was… ugly and terrifying like that.”

“I must have frightened you.”

“Is that all you want to say to me?”

“Ah—” Shen You’an looked up blankly.

Su Wu’s palm rested on her head, her touch gentle. “Being a monster must be very exhausting.”

Shen You’an’s eyes suddenly stung with tears.

“Shen You’an, you don’t need to blame yourself to the point of thinking you’ve been lying to me from the start. You aren’t that clever. I knew from the beginning that you had secrets,” Su Wu said softly. “Remember the children’s watch? It had monitoring data. The first time you lost control—the day it rained and thundered—I knew.”

Shen You’an was stunned.

“Ji Lan’s boxing ring—coincidentally, it was a rainy day then too. I went to great lengths to find someone to fix that wall you scratched up. And yet, you were so silly you didn’t even think to take the umbrella you left at the mouth of the alley.”

“A-jie…”

“If we’re talking about lying, Shen You’an, haven’t I lied to you too? I knew you likely wouldn’t tell me, so I never asked. Doing these things behind your back can be considered lying as well.”

“Are you angry with me?”

Shen You’an shook her head without a second thought. “A-jie… A-jie was worried about me.”

“See? I kept even a small thing like that from you, and you can find an excuse for me. Shen You’an, so what if you hid a big secret like yours?” Su Wu took her hand. “Now, shall we call it even?”

Shen You’an felt a bit talked into a corner. Things shouldn’t be calculated this way.

“A-jie, you almost died because of me.”

“Pah.” Su Wu pinched Shen You’an’s palm firmly. “What? Do I look like a dead person right now?”

“A-jie!” Su Wu was using that tactic of downplaying the serious again; Shen You’an saw right through it.

“Child, a fortune teller once said I have great fortune and a long life; I won’t die easily. You didn’t do anything excessive to me either—just a couple of bites? I’ll just treat it as having been bitten by a dog.”

Shen You’an: “…?” She didn’t know whether to feel relieved or angry for a moment.

“If you are determined to think you’ve done something wrong, then, Shen You’an…”

“Stay by my side obediently and atone for it that way.”

Su Wu looked into Shen You’an’s eyes; within that place where wind and snow buried everything lay an endless wilderness. In her eyes, Shen You’an couldn’t see a single trace of fear or regret. She only said: “I’m the one who picked you up. I said that as long as you are willing, I will always be by your side. If you feel your sins are heavy, then go nowhere—stay by my side and atone.”

“Or perhaps, you think A-jie doesn’t taste good and you don’t want me anymore?”

“Nonsense!” Shen You’an denied it urgently. “I didn’t say I don’t want A-jie!”

“Then it must be that I don’t taste good.”

“No!”

“Oh, so my flavor is actually quite decent among all the people you’ve eaten?”

“…”

Strange.

Shen You’an found it difficult to answer that. She was flustered and embarrassed; facing the consistently candid Su Wu, her emotions were incredibly complex. Guilt and shame went without saying, but seeing Su Wu mention the events of last night so easily made her feel—if only for a fleeting moment—that the things she cared so much about might not actually matter that much.

Perhaps she… could be accepted.

Her mind was a mess.

Su Wu added, “No answer.”

She said, “It seems I don’t taste very good after all.”

What on earth was she talking about!

Shen You’an waved her hands frantically. “That’s not it at all.”

“Then it’s good.”

Shen You’an’s face turned bright red with anxiety. “A-jie, stop saying such things.” It was so strange; she didn’t know where the strangeness was, but it was just strange.

“Alright.” Su Wu followed her wishes and stopped talking about that, asking instead: “So, have you eaten other people?”

Her tone sounded like pure curiosity.

“I don’t know…” Shen You’an was sweating. “A-jie, I really don’t remember.”

“Don’t remember?”

“Mhm.” Shen You’an looked down at the small tuft of grass by the cliff; it worked so hard, growing in the cracks between stones. For the first time, she spoke of things from that other world. “When I woke up back then, I found I was already in a different place.”

“It wasn’t Mount Jiuying,” she said. “In that place, people couldn’t breathe freely on the surface, and green mountains and clear waters no longer existed. They were replaced by endless terror and slaughter.”

“I don’t remember when it started—it seemed like while hiding from a monster, or perhaps a narrow escape triggered some potential—but that thing you saw last night became a part of my body.”

“I was rarely conscious,” Shen You’an said slowly. “I heard them call me LVX01. If there was a contaminant that ordinary cleaners couldn’t handle, they would send me.”

She looked at her palms.

“I killed a lot of people—if they could still be called people.”

“Then one day, I was performing a mission as usual, and for some reason, I was back here.”

Shen You’an felt that the memories in her mind were like fragments scattered about; she struggled to piece everything together logically into the answer she told Su Wu. It was the answer she believed in.

A person always needs an answer. Otherwise, people are very good at driving themselves mad.

Su Wu had some key questions she wanted to ask. She held Shen You’an tightly, embracing her body which shook instinctively as she spoke those words, and patted her back. “Are there patterns to when these changes appear?”

Shen You’an understood her meaning.

“On the night of a full moon, the probability of losing control increases, but in most cases, it can be suppressed,” she said. “Normally… as long as I’m not stimulated, there are no problems.”

Su Wu nodded, deep in thought.

Last night was not the night of a full moon. Shen You’an’s change was too sudden, especially when linked to the unexpected fire.

Su Wu furrowed her brow and asked, “Yesterday, before you went back to the lounge, what happened?”

Shen You’an recalled, “Nothing much, everything was normal. Shen Yanchen jumped into the sea, something happened, Meng Dongdong pulled me to the bistro. She drank, I had sparkling water. She felt it wasn’t fun enough and invited others to play. I felt it was too noisy and didn’t feel well, so I went back to my room.”

“And then…”

Su Wu knocked on the door.

Shen You’an had thought about this herself. Thinking it over, she felt that God was punishing her. She shouldn’t have maliciously attracted the sharks to scare Shen Yanchen. Perhaps the slaughter had awakened the sleeping monster inside her.

Shen You’an said to Su Wu, “A-jie, I still feel that having me stay by your side is of no benefit to you.”

“What happened last night might happen again.”

“I…” she gave a bitter laugh. “Sometimes, it’s very hard for me to control myself.”

“Then I will control it,” Su Wu replied without a second’s hesitation.

Shen You’an’s eyes widened.

Su Wu didn’t loosen her embrace in the slightest. “Everything you can’t control, give it to me.”

“Don’t refuse me yet; I’m not just being whimsical. I understand exactly what you’ve said. You said your previous code name was LVX01, and a certain department would send you if they encountered an unsolvable problem. Well, since you are so uncontrollable, how did those people direct you? If, as you say, you are easily stimulated and killing intent also has an effect, wouldn’t performing missions inevitably lead to a state of madness for you? But from what you’ve said, that was the norm.”

“That means they had a method to control you.”

“Since a method exists, then a possibility exists.”

“Last night, it was only after you tasted my blood that you calmed down.”

Though she went mad again afterward. Su Wu didn’t mention that part. She let go of Shen You’an slightly, her hands still around her, creating just enough space to look her in the eye.

“What they could do, given time, I can do as well.” Su Wu was exceptionally certain and confident on this point. “So, Shen You’an, if this is a life you can’t manage, then place it in my hands.”

“From now on, I will be responsible for your sins.”

“If the day truly comes where things are beyond recovery,” Su Wu’s fingertips on Shen You’an’s shoulders tightened for a moment, and she said, “we’ll come back here together, okay?”

The girl threw herself into Su Wu’s arms, clutching her waist, her voice muffled as her tears wetted Su Wu’s shoulder. She was like a small boat that had drifted for a long time finally reaching shore, or a kite with a broken string that had spiraled in the eye of a typhoon finally returning to its owner’s palm. Her crying grew louder because Su Wu was gently and patiently patting her back without stopping.

Everyone else treated her as a monster. Only Su Wu saw her fear.

Su Wu smiled. At an angle where the girl couldn’t see, she lowered her head and kissed her hair. When she spoke, her voice was as soft as a divine consolation.

“From now on, we will face these problems together, okay?”

Shen You’an cried messily. She couldn’t answer “okay”; she didn’t want Su Wu to go to hell with her. And yet, from the moment Su Wu picked her up, she had never intended to let go.

She had lied. Su Wu lowered her eyes, hiding the madness deep within her pupils. She would be responsible for Shen You’an’s sins. But if the day truly came where things were beyond recovery—then they would be beyond recovery.

Seeing that Shen You’an hadn’t replied, Su Wu let out a light cough. Shen You’an hurriedly looked at her. “A-jie, did you catch a cold? It’s cold on the mountain; how about I take you down first?”

“Together.” Su Wu held her hand. “As for the things we talked about today, we’ll continue later.”