After the Early-Deceased White Moonlight of a Wealthy Family Returns (GL) - Chapter 48

Shen You’an found it hard to describe the feeling she had at this moment. Holding Su Wu, her heart felt both light and heavy. These should have been two completely different sensations, and they shouldn’t have appeared simultaneously.

Su Wu…

These two characters turned over a hundred times in her mind.

What exactly did it mean to be kind to herself? She thought she was already being thick-skinned enough by staying by Su Wu’s side like this, embracing her, and feeling her body temperature—not scalding, yet seemingly constant.

“A-jie, this wish was clearly for you.”

Su Wu said, “Mhm, it’s my wish, so it’s my choice to decide who the blessing is for.”

Shen You’an had no way of winning against her. She let out a huff and rubbed her chin against Su Wu’s head as it rested on her shoulder. The way they embraced was exactly like the cats in the neighborhood downstairs that would huddle together under the trees.

“Then I have to say it too: I hope that every day from now on, you can be a bit kinder to yourself as well.”

“I’m already very good to myself,” Su Wu said.

Hearing this, Shen You’an couldn’t help but laugh. In this regard, she and Su Wu were unexpectedly similar.

Su Wu: “What are you secretly so happy about?”

Shen You’an shook her head, held it in for a moment, and then blurted out, “A-jie, you’re so good.”

Su Wu: “Just one sentence makes me ‘good’?”

Shen You’an let out two quick cries, pulled back slightly, and covered Su Wu’s mouth with her hand. “Don’t talk. You’re not allowed to say another word.”

It was the first time Su Wu had ever had someone do such a thing to her. She blinked, her face full of amusement.

Shen You’an bit her lip. She realized that there was no reasoning with Su Wu. With her own meager eloquence and less-than-superior logic, she stood no chance. If they entered a debate, Shen You’an had no doubt she would be the one waving the white flag in the end. But she also realized that logic was logic, whether it was sound or twisted.

Su Wu always said she was the problem for being too “sensible,” but wasn’t Su Wu exactly the same?

“I said you’re good, so you are!” Shen You’an said, finding a sudden burst of confidence. She tilted her head up as if trying to look arrogant in front of Su Wu. “Don’t… don’t ask why, just remember it!”

Su Wu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She hadn’t expected the little quail to pretend to be an eagle. She nodded and said, “As you wish. I’ll listen to you.”

A soft puff of warm air hit Shen You’an’s palm. She let go as if struck by lightning.

“Are you still sad?” Su Wu asked.

Shen You’an shook her head vigorously. The emotions that had been surging in her chest were melted away by the embrace. When she was crying, she felt like she had so many things she couldn’t say, but while hugging, not a single word was spoken, yet she felt as if she and Su Wu were two rivers beginning to merge—a subtle fusion achieved in silence.

“What should I do?” Su Wu gazed at her. “Now I’m the one who’s a bit sad.”

Shen You’an: “Wait, what?”

“I wanted to make you cry the least.” Su Wu’s palm brushed along her hairline, her fingertips lingering for a moment where the tear tracks remained. “Yet I ended up being the person who made you cry the hardest.”

Shen You’an tilted her head, reaching out to hold Su Wu’s wrist and pressing her cheek against it, rubbing gently. “But I feel much better having cried it out.”

Fearing Su Wu would keep dwelling on that, Shen You’an quickly brought up the confusion she’d had all day: “A-jie, how did you find me? How did you know I was there?”

Su Wu pinched her cheek, watching with satisfaction as her left cheek deformed slightly while her face filled with surprise, before finally letting go and lifting her wrist.

“It was this.”

The Tahitian black pearl was lustrous and perfectly round. The snake bit its own tail, forming the shape of an Ouroboros, the silver chain coiled like scales around the woman’s fair wrist.

Shen You’an frowned, looking closely until she sensed a subtle aura. It was tiny; if she didn’t pay close attention, it would be easily confused with her own scent. But it was indeed a small, separated fragment.

“Come out.” Shen You’an’s face darkened.

The pearl didn’t move. She lifted her hand, a faint black mist spreading beneath her palm. Su Wu stopped her. “Wait.”

The woman tapped the pearl with her fingertip. “Come out.”

The tiny, tiny tail that had been playing dead suddenly darted out, wiggling its “waist” to rub affectionately against Su Wu’s fingertip.

Shen You’an: “…”

Su Wu said, “It was the one that pointed me in the right direction this morning.”

The tiny tail wagged proudly, its tip splitting into the shape of an arrow, showing off its capabilities. The moment Shen You’an raised her hand toward it, it pretended to be pitiful and hid behind Su Wu’s finger.

Su Wu: “It seems a bit afraid of you. Why?”

Shen You’an let out a cold snort. “Who knows.”

That damn tail really holds a grudge. It was clearly upset because she had torn it to shreds this morning. She hadn’t realized that a piece could have escaped and hidden in the pearl. Since when did her tail have this much of a mind of its own?

Su Wu was curious: “Does it exist independently of you? Does it have its own thoughts?”

Shen You’an said, “I’m not sure.” As she said those words, she looked down, too embarrassed to look at Su Wu’s face. How could she admit that the tail was a derivation of her? Like an animal’s, the tail expressed emotions more accurately than anything else. Bad tail, stupid tail. Was she really that clingy toward Su Wu? She decided to break all ties with that tail starting today.

“It’s quite cute,” Su Wu said, touching the tiny tail.

Shen You’an: “…” She didn’t have the words; she could only pout silently.

“When I touch it like this, can you feel it?” Su Wu continued to ask.

Shen You’an shook her head. “This fragment is too small; I have almost no sensation.”

Su Wu caught the key point: “So, you would feel it with your normal tail.”

Shen You’an: “…!”

Shen You’an: “A-jie, what’s with this sudden scientific spirit of yours?!” What’s happening, what’s happening!

Su Wu: “Forgotten what I said?”

She spoke with great reason. “Since I promised to handle… certain things for you, I naturally need to understand enough to have more confidence.” Su Wu spoke tactfully, not using the word “monster.” “This is also what I mentioned before—what I wanted to continue discussing with you once we got home.”

Su Wu stood up and, when she returned, sat on the sofa with a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other, observing Shen You’an. Her gaze was serious and focused, causing Shen You’an to instinctively straighten her back and sit more formally.

“A-jie…” she called out softly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Observing and thinking,” Su Wu said. “You’an, is there anything else you think I should know? Anything related to you.”

“Regarding the transformation—most of the time, you’re in control, right?”

Shen You’an nodded, her hands resting obediently on her knees. “Mhm.”

“I noticed during dinner today that you didn’t eat as much as usual.”

“Was it because you had fed earlier?”

Shen You’an: “Probably…” She hadn’t noticed it herself, but once Su Wu pointed it out, she realized that while eating today, she had indeed felt full very quickly. That “bottomless pit” feeling she usually had never appeared today.

She watched Su Wu lower her head to record in the notebook. “A-jie, you’re making it look like you’re doing a research project.”

Su Wu: “Since it concerns you, being serious and cautious is better.”

“When the transformation occurs, do you feel pain?”

“…I don’t know.”

Su Wu’s pen paused. “Why do you say that?”

Shen You’an felt a bit lost. “I can’t quite distinguish if that momentary sensation is pain or just a normal reaction.”

Su Wu exhaled softly. “Okay,” she noted it down, then asked, “Does the degree of your individual consciousness correlate with the form of the transformation? For example, the more you transform, the easier it is to lose control?”

“Yes.”

“Can you describe the specific feeling? Any sensation will do.”

Shen You’an frowned, trying hard to recall. After racking her brain, she found a way to describe it using her hands: “This is me, let’s call her A.” She raised her left hand. “This is the other me, the one that… that loses control, B.” She raised her right hand.

“My feeling is that A and B usually both exist. When everything is normal, B barely ever appears. She appears in two situations: First, if I actively choose to wake B up to change A’s abilities. In exchange, my behavior, thinking, and instincts are all influenced by B.”

“It’s like light and shadow.”

“The second situation is if the shadow comes too violently, and the light loses control and is completely swallowed. Then A falls into an unconscious state, and the body is primarily controlled by B. In that case—”

Shen You’an paused. “It’s very dangerous,” she said. “A-jie, if that happens, you must stay away from me.”

“I don’t know what I would do.”

“So in that situation, the ‘A’ version of you loses consciousness, so even after returning to normal, there is no memory?”

“Yes,” Shen You’an said. “I don’t know how it works either…”

“May I make a hypothesis?”

“Hm?”

Su Wu tapped the notebook with her pen. “Although you say you lose consciousness and your behavior is unpredictable when B is in control, I believe that since A and B are merged, they must essentially influence each other. Therefore, it’s not just B’s instincts influencing A; when you exist as A, your deep-seated moral values also influence B.”

Shen You’an had never considered this. Her brow furrowed deeper as she tried to digest Su Wu’s words.

“Don’t be too pessimistic about yourself.” Su Wu set down her pen and touched the space between the girl’s brows. “Maybe the version of you in state B isn’t as terrifying as you think.”

Shen You’an had a look that said ‘Did I hear that right?’ and ‘A-jie, you really will say anything to coax me’. She then grabbed Su Wu’s hand seriously and said, “A-jie, no.”

“In that state, no matter the reason, you must stay far away from me,” Shen You’an emphasized stubbornly. “Absolutely do not approach me.”

Su Wu looked down at their joined hands, then lifted her gaze. “I know what I’m doing.”

“A-jie!” You’an was anxious.

She finally understood what Su Wu had meant a long time ago by the phrase: “Any option I proactively propose means I have already considered the outcome and have the ability to ensure I can do it.”

Once Su Wu failed to give a direct and certain answer on a specific issue, it meant she had other plans—plans she wasn’t completely sure about.

“You can’t do that!” You’an was so anxious she almost stood up to explain the gravity of the situation.

Su Wu pulled her back, her eyes full of helpless indulgence. “What’s wrong? Today you’re turning into a little mermaid, dropping pearls constantly.” She wiped away a tear You’an hadn’t even noticed.

“Listen to me finish.” Su Wu stabilized You’an’s frantic mind, her tone as reassuring as ever. “I swear to you, no matter what, I will always prioritize my own safety.”

“Shouldn’t you be relieved now?”

“What? In your heart, am I a fool who doesn’t even know how to protect herself?”

Shen You’an bit her lip, shot a quick look at Su Wu, and then fixed her gaze on their tightly joined hands. How could someone who knows how to protect herself actively offer her wrist after seeing me like that?

“Swear it,” she said.

Su Wu sighed, raising her hand and pointing her fingers. “I, Su Wu, swear to the heavens that if I cannot do what I just said, may I be struck by lightning and—”

“Okay, okay.” Shen You’an quickly interrupted the “spell.” “A-jie, I believe you.”

Su Wu: “Relieved now?”

Shen You’an muttered: “A little.”

“I won’t let it happen,” Su Wu repeated, her gaze firm. “Shen You’an, I won’t let the thing you fear happen.”

Su Wu wasn’t afraid of death; she knew very well that she was afraid her own well-intentioned kindness would force Shen You’an to carry the weight of that sin. Shen You’an’s heart was too clean, so she absolutely could not let herself die by those hands. You’an was a girl who cried while apologizing and saying her sister was good; she was a fool who suffered through her own torment yet still worried about her family. How could Su Wu let such a person bear the burden of the word “death”?

She could die, but Shen You’an could not be harmed. Based on this realization, even if Su Wu didn’t value her own life, she would protect herself better than anyone. She could not be the knife that stabbed Shen You’an.

Su Wu shared her plan with You’an.

“Tomorrow morning, I’ll have someone come to take blood samples. While you and Shen Huaijin are meeting upstairs, I’ll have already assembled a special research group. They will be responsible for researching and developing the control agent I mentioned before.”

“A-jie, if that’s the case, can I take the samples myself?”

“You can.” Su Wu asked nothing.

Instead, Shen You’an wanted to explain: “It’s not that I don’t trust your people, it’s just… if I remember correctly, the data analysis from my blood samples is completely different between the two states.”

Su Wu hadn’t expected that factor. Since waking up this morning, she had been occupied with You’an’s situation. Now she suddenly remembered. She tilted her head, moving her hair aside to reveal her elegant collarbone and slender neck. She touched it with her fingertip and looked down; it was smooth, with no trace of a wound.

“This…” She looked at You’an in confusion. “How did you do it?”

“That’s also what I mentioned before,” Shen You’an said. “I don’t understand why, but my blood seems to have this effect too.”

Su Wu froze, remembering the metallic sweetness in her mouth when she woke up.

“You fed me?” As she said this, Su Wu’s gaze instinctively drifted to Shen You’an’s lips.

You’an’s heart skipped a beat. She looked away and said hurriedly, “No! I… I used my hand to feed you.” She didn’t do anything bad!

Su Wu: “Thank you.”

Shen You’an’s face reddened slightly. “A-jie, don’t thank me for that.”

“I’m the one who did the bad things; the only thing I can do to make up for it is this tiny bit.”

“Okay.” Su Wu didn’t insist. Most of the time, she was exceptionally easygoing and agreeable in front of You’an. “Thinking about it, I have another question.”

“What?”

“Xiao An… don’t you feed on blood? In the end, you gave your blood to me. How did you feel? Did you feel hungry?”

Shen You’an: “…Actually, no.”

Su Wu raised her eyebrows. “Is that so.”

“A-jie, is there a problem?”

Su Wu shook her head. “Nothing.”

Since blood was mentioned… “Regarding food, do you have any specific preferences?”

Shen You’an understood her meaning and waved her hands. “A-jie, you don’t need to prepare anything special. I… I’m not a vampire!”

Su Wu: “Your teeth seem to disagree.”

Shen You’an instinctively licked her teeth; they were perfectly smooth. Realizing Su Wu was teasing her, she gave a huffy glare.

Su Wu laughed. “Truly no need? If there’s a need, I can handle it.”

“No need!” You’an said hurriedly. “I’m not the type to drink just any blood!”

Su Wu’s eyebrows shot up even higher. “Oh?”

“Is mine very special?”

“…” Oh no.

It felt like she had taken a long detour specifically to avoid a trap, only to fall right into it anyway.

“Why aren’t you speaking?”

“…Mhm,” Shen You’an answered in a voice like a mosquito.

“I can’t hear you,” Su Wu said.

Shen You’an’s ears were burning. “It’s quite fragrant. A-jie… A-jie has had a scent that’s different from everyone else’s since the very beginning.”

Su Wu: “Really? Then I’ll have to check if I have some special blood type.”

Shen You’an: “Huh? A-jie, you don’t know your blood type?”

“I’ve never been curious,” Su Wu said.

Shen You’an was in disbelief. “You don’t get checkups?”

Su Wu: “Checkups don’t usually test for blood type.”

Shen You’an: “…!” How could that be! They took the blood! Why didn’t they check!

She suddenly became more eager than Su Wu. “A-jie, go check it. Tell me once you find out.”

Su Wu pushed You’an’s approaching head away with her index finger. “What are you so excited about?”

“I want to know! I want to understand you better!”

Su Wu: “…”

“And A-jie’s scent is so special, the blood type must be special too!”

Su Wu laughed and agreed, saying she would check tomorrow and that You’an would be the first to know the results. Shen You’an smiled like a blooming flower. “Great, great. Thank you, A-jie.”

“Look how happy you are.” Su Wu couldn’t look.

Shen You’an pushed her luck, moving closer to huddle against Su Wu on the sofa. “I am happy!”

Su Wu lost her balance slightly as You’an leaned against her, falling back onto the sofa. Shen You’an’s first reaction was to protect the back of Su Wu’s head with her hand. Her reaction speed was fast, but she didn’t notice that she was pinned almost entirely on top of the other woman.

Their noses touched.

Suddenly, she saw Su Wu’s lips. The gaze that had rested on her lips earlier when the woman mentioned the blood-feeding now felt suddenly hot.

Shen You’an immediately helped Su Wu up. “A-jie, you didn’t hurt yourself, did you?”

Su Wu shook her head. “It’s just a sofa.”

“That’s good.” Shen You’an nodded, then said, “Um, A-jie, I’m a bit sleepy. I’m going to sleep now.”

“Okay. Goodnight.”

After seeing the girl into her room, checking the thickness of the blankets, and telling her to sleep early, Su Wu slowly let go of the door handle. She could tell that in that moment just now, You’an’s eyelashes had trembled, and her breathing had been so light she hadn’t even noticed it herself.

Hungry again?

Su Wu frowned. She had a theory, but she didn’t tell You’an. Maybe what truly fed the monster wasn’t blood, but something else. As for what exactly that was, she couldn’t be sure yet.

She still needed data.